Author's Note: Reuploading this file to correct a few errors.
Five Hours in Ye Old London
Chapter11: Technology, Dear Watson
Giving John a shake of her head, Helen muttered, "This is so wrong."
"What? James looking at technology he shouldn't know about or Ashley showing him how to use the technology he shouldn't know about?" Druitt questioned in amusement. The sight of his six year old instructing a member of The Five on how to use an iPhone would be something that would remain with him forever.
"Both," Helen grumbled tiredly as she folded her arms across her chest. "James has an almost photographic memory. This is just going to torment him for a century until he can gain access to the technology again."
"Then I will just have something to look forward to," James retorted as he watched excitedly with large eyes as the child open up something called "Cut the Rope" on the communication device and hit the "play" button.
"This is Omnom," Ashley informed her new relative as she played the game. "You have to cut the ropes to feed him. He's always hungry!"
"Fascinating. And what happens when you feed him," James inquired and smiled as she successfully feed the creature on the screen.
"You make it to the next level," Ashley declared as she tackled the next task. "I've made it to the 15th level before… then Omnom got stuck and I had to hit Daddy's phone to get the game to work again."
"There will be no hitting of my phone again," John warned and gave his daughter a stern glare.
Looking up at him through her thick dark lashes, the child's mouth curled up into a naughty little smile that was so reminiscent of his own. He pointed at her in warning again and she stuck her tongue out partly at him. She then frowned when she failed to pass to the next level due to her distracted play with her father. "Daddy, you killed Omnom," she complained.
"I did no such thing," he retorted. "You're the one playing the game. The blame is entirely yours."
Annoyed, the child flipped through the screen and landed upon another game. "Let's play Angry Birds," she said and started up the game.
"Angry Birds? That sounds ominous," James said.
"It's fun," the child informed the sleuth, whose head was pressed close to hers to watch the action on the little screen. "You throw the birds to try and knock out the piggies," she explained. "I'm really good at the game but daddy's terrible. He can't get past the second screen," she proudly declared and smirked up at her father.
"It's not as easy as it looks," John defended. Video games were not his forte.
"Oh, please. Anyone can get past the second screen," Nikola snorted. "Including the six year old."
"And how would you know? It's not like you play video games," Druitt said doubtfully.
"Hey, I get bored sometimes and give in to juvenile habits like everyone else," Tesla shrugged. "At least I can get past the second screen," he snickered. "I'll bet even the Wookie with his big hairy paws can get past the second screen."
"He can," Helen said with a little laugh.
"I'll bet even junior here could get past the second screen," Nikola challenged. "Go on, let him try."
"I don't think that's necessary," John replied and was immediately countered by Watson, who piped up, "I do. Let me have a crack at it." To the child, he nicely asked, "May I have a try?" She peered at him with one eye squinted closed in deep thought and then shrugged. "Okay," Ashley agreed and handed him the iPhone. "But only for one game. Then I get it back."
Thrilled at finally getting to handle the active communication device, Watson mimicked the child's movements from before and began playing the game. Helen had to chuckle at the way his nose scrunched up as he intently focused on playing the game. It took him three games but he finally got the hang of the amount of pressure to apply to the small screen with his fingers and had worked out the best maneuvers to get to the next screen. At the smug grin that spread across his face, Tesla rightly guessed that "You've made it past the second screen, haven't you? See, even prehistoric man here can play the game, Johnny."
Just then James's face clouded up. "Battery low?" he read aloud and looked up from the screen. "What does that mean?"
"It means the device needs to be recharged. It'll have to wait until we get home as there's no way to do it here," John replied and held his hand out for the device.
"Oh," James muttered in disappointment. It was so unfair. He finally got to use the device and it stopped working.
"Allow me," Nikola offered grandiosely and removed the iPhone from Watson's hand. Touching his fingertip into the slot for the USB cord he recharged the device at lightning speed and then went to hand it back to James, only to have Ashley reach around at the last minute and snatch it away.
"Mine!" she cried happily and began to play the game again, much to James's chagrin.
John chortled. "You're going to have to be quicker," he teased his old friend. "She's sneaky, like her mother."
"Like which parent?" Helen shot back with an arched brow.
"How did you do that?" the blonde version of Helen asked after seeing the stream of blue electricity that shot out of his fingertip into the device.
"I've developed a few new skills," the vampire bragged unabashedly to his awed hostess. Looking into her wide blue eyes, Nikolas was reminded of how much he had admired them when they were all younger. They held much more of a sweet innocence in their sapphire orbs than those of her older, more experienced counterpart.
"And here we go," John muttered with a roll of his eyes. He knew the little git wouldn't be able to resist showing off.
"I don't think bragging qualifies as a new skill," James observed smugly and was rewarded with a sharp zap as Tesla reached out and touched him with his long fingertip. Watson's body jerked sharply and he dropped to the ground. "Bloody hell!" he roared once the electric volt had passed through him and he struggled to sit upright.
"Nikola!" both Helens reprimanded at the same time and rushed to flank James on each side. "Are you alright?" they asked in unison as they helped his stand back up.
Impressed, Ashley squealed, "You both said the same thing at the same time!" To the blonde, she added, "You sounded just like mommy, Cousin Helen."
The blonde grinned back. "I did, didn't I?"
Ashley then pointed to James, who was still rubbing his shoulder and silently plotting Tesla's death, and shook her finger back and forth in reprimand. "Om, you said a bad word. You have to take a time out now," she told him, causing her father to throw his head back and bark a laugh.
When he made no movement to go to the nearest corner, the child's bottom lip protruded out in a pout. "He has to go to a time out," she insisted. "He said a bad word."
"He's an adult," Helen patiently tried to explain as she continued to glare at the smug vampire. "Sometimes adults say things they shouldn't but they don't have to go to a time out. They should say sorry though." She was looking straight at Tesla when she said that. He, on the other hand, looked down at his nails and rubbed them against his chest briefly as he ignored her suggestion.
"You made Will go to his office the other day," Ashley pointed out. "He stomped all the way and slammed the door too," she snitched.
"Will wasn't in a time out," her father corrected. "He was racing down the hall to hide from your mother who was in a foul mood due to the little mishap with the latest beastie."
Helen frowned at him. "I wasn't in a foul mood. Will lost a rare abnormal because he was too busy playing kissy face with Abby. He was supposed to be working, not out on a date. Who takes their date out to stalk an abnormal?"
"Uh, that would be us. "Remember the birds?" John reminded her with a grin. The dimple that lit up her face assured him that she did indeed remember the incident with the Phoenixes.
"What kind of game is kissy face?" Ashley asked with a crinkle of her little nose. "I haven't played that one yet."
"You will not be playing that game with anyone for a very, very long time, is that clear young lady?" John demanded firmly as he planted his hands onto his hips.
Crossing her arms in reply, Ashley complained, "How can I play kissy face if I don't even know what it is?"
"You make sure you keep it that way," her father ordered irrationally. Any worthless idiot that laid a finger on his daughter was going to soon find himself being tossed into the nearest active volcano with no parachute. He narrowed his eyes back at Helen when she shook her head at his over protectiveness. He went from one extreme with Ashley as an adult the first time to another with Ashley as a child in her second reincarnation. Her poor baby was going to have a rough time with her pit bull of a father when she reached puberty.
"Keep what what way?" the child asked in confusion. "You're not making any sense, daddy." Turning to her mother, Ashley asked, "Do you know how to play kissy face, mommy?"
Tesla snorted a laugh. "Well, Helen, what say you? Do you know how to play kissy face?" he repeated with a suggestive leer.
"Yes, she does," John interrupted, "and no, you'll never find out… not if you want to live longer." The two antagonists looked challengingly at one another. Helen rolled her eyes and turned her focus back on Watson, who was still obviously very pissed about the voltage.
"I don't hear anyone saying 'Sorry,'" the mouthy child declared and bit her bottom lip when her mother gave her "the look" that said "you'd better behave or else, young lady." "Well, I didn't," she muttered smartly.
"Nikola, say you're sorry," Helen ordered.
Tesla frowned. "What? He's the one who said the bad word," he reminded her.
"And you're the one who zapped him for no good reason," John reminded him, receiving a dirty look from the vampire.
"Oh, I had a good reason," Nikola grumbled and shot an angry look at Watson, who arched an eyebrow back at him in question.
"If this is about James booby trapping your gadget to turn you blue for a week, it's your own fault," Druitt declared with a smirk. "You knew he'd retaliate for your recording him getting peed on by that giant abnormal cat and then airing it across the Sanctuary Network feed for the rest of the staff to see."
Nikola shrugged nonchalantly. "It was totally worth it. The look on the great Sherlock's face when cat piddled on his head was priceless!"
"As was you going around looking like a blue smurf for a week," John retorted and looked at James with a grin. "Next time I'll get James to set it to detonate pink. I think Tesla would look sweet all in pink, don't you think, James?" he teased and was rewarded with a laugh from his best friend.
"Pink would be good," James agreed, "but green might be better. Then he would look like a troll with spiky hair." The two friends chortled at the thought.
Seeing Tesla about to come back with a snarky reply, Helen interceded. "Say you're sorry," she repeated as she crossed her arms in an authoritative manner. "You wouldn't want to set a bad example for your goddaughter, now would you?" Helen asked in an overly sweet tone.
Nikola frowned and looked past her to see Ashley leaning forward to stare at him from behind James. Darn. This whole godfather gig was harder than it was suppose to be. He waivered as to whether to blow Helen off then decided it wasn't worth it. He'd blown a large hole into the one of the walls of her lab when he was trying to calibrate one of his laser devices recently and figured they would call it even between them once she discovered the hole. "I'm sorry I accidently zapped you with my magnificent power of conducting electricity," he half way sincerely apologized to James, who narrowed his eyes at the "accidently" part. To Helen, Nikola added, "And I'm sorry I questioned whether you knew how to play kissy face. I can personally say that you do it quite well," he smirked, deliberately toss that back into the conversation with the purpose of stirring up the child's curiosity once more. He had learned early on that his godchild was good for using as a distraction whenever he was in the doghouse with Helen.
Huffing out a loud breath, Ashley groused, "Everyone knows how to play kissy face but me!" and threw her hands out in annoyance, causing the iPhone to slip from her grip and crash to the ground. Leaning over to look down at the phone, she mumbled,"Oops," and looked up guiltily to find her father staring at her with a displeased look. She flashed him a toothy smile that she hoped would look sweet and innocent and proclaimed, "It was an accident."
"It always is," he grumbled. Giving a loud, put upon sigh, John leaned over to pick up his phone, halting momentarily as it began to play a familiar tune. A big feline grin spread across his broad face as he straightened up and looked at the phone in his hand. What were the odds?
The playful, ascending and descending notes of the song's harpsichord introduction soon picked up its quick pace. John looked across from him to find Tesla's face lit up into a mischievous grin and couldn't help but grin back. Both were thinking the same thing.
"What?" James asked, looking suspiciously between the two who disagreed far more on things than they ever agreed on.
"What do you think of this music," John asked the sleuth as he pushed the volume up to its highest setting and held the phone up in the air. However, he kept the display side towards him in order that the others wouldn't see what was playing.
"Why?" Watson inquired, glancing between the two other men and then at Helen who merely shook her head and rolled her eyes. They might be over 150 years old but they were still mischievous boys at heart. She gave John a "Really?" look and received a playful wink in reply.
"Just listen to it and tell me if you like the music. I'll tell you why afterwards," John assured, his smile spreading as he pictured telling Watson why the music was significant.
"I know what that music is," Ashley declared as she peeked out behind Watson's shoulder, "and I like it." She held her hand out towards her father. "I want the iPhone back, daddy."
"I want to show James a few things," he answered back and received a big pout in response. Cutting her off before she could have another temper tantrum, her father motioned down to the bulldog that was sitting by Watson's leg. "You should play with Winston before we go home. We'll be leaving soon."
Nikola turned and peered intently at the continuum device's frame from across the room. The power light on it was almost fully charged. "Yep, should be very soon now," he remarked in relief. Being trapped back in the proper late Victorian era was not his cup of tea. He was more of a modern technology wine drinker.
Blonde Helen gasped loudly without meaning to and her focus immediately landed on the child, who was demanding that her father lower her to the ground so that she could play with the dog again. The others sobered at her reaction and all grew silent as they watched the laughing child run around the room again being chased by the pudgy dog in its ridiculous pink tutu.
Finally, Nikola motioned to James with his head to prompt John. "Ask him," he encouraged with a wicked grin.
"Ask him what?" Helen said, eyeing the two men suspiciously.
"The music before," John smoothly answered, turning to face James. "Do you like it?" The song had already ended and another one, a bouncy Irish tune with quick firing lyrics, was playing now.
The music obviously had some significance judging by the way the Druitt and Tesla were preening. "It's enjoyable enough. It's quick, sharp noted, a little dark… and yet there seems to be some wit to it as well." He saw the three share a smile at his assessment and tilted his head at John in question.
"It is the theme song for this," John answered as he flipped the screen around and held it out before Watson's face. Narrowing his eyes for a better view of the screen, James stared at the image and upon reading the words his eyes grew large.
"What's wrong?" the younger version of Helen inquired, taking her eyes momentarily off the child as she raced by to look back Watson, whose sideburns were positively twitching with excitement.
"Sherlock Holmes?" James cried in delight as his eyes twinkled brightly. "The song is for the books?"
"No," John corrected, "the song is the signature piece for the films. Sherlock Holmes is experiencing quite a popular resurgence at the moment," he shared with a chuckle as he took in his best friend's exuberance. "You're still a hit with the public."
"You don't say," James preened as his fingers moved over the screen to flip to the next image. "I like this song too," he said of the Irish ditty.
"The Rocky Road to Dublin is the last song played in the first Sherlock film," John said. "The first film was much better than the second one that just came out."
"I agree," Nikola added. "The second one was garbage. Too much going on and who's stupid idea was it to kill off Irene Adler anyway? She was the best thing about the movies."
"They killed off Irene?" James asked appalled. "She's not killed off in the books."
"The movies very loosely follow the books. According to the films you're a restless habitual drug user who can't keep a friend close to you because you're too annoying," Nikola summarized. "Oh, and you can't seem to keep the girl either."
"Ignore him," Helen told her old, outraged friend. "It's just a film about a fictional character."
"Fictional, right," Nikola snarked. "Like how vampires are suppose to be fictional. Oh, wait," he smirked, "there's me!"
"Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character based upon elements of James," Helen retorted. "They are not exactly the same person."
Twisting her words back at her, Nikola reasoned, "So what you're saying is that Irene Adler is a fictional character based upon elements of you."
"She had better not be," John growled as he placed his hands on his hips and gave James a scowl.
"I'm not," Helen refuted back. "And I don't know why you two are so fixated on a fictional character. Irene isn't real. What part of not real are you two geniuses not understanding?"
"There's often a bit of truth in fiction," Tesla proclaimed in a lofty, wise-ish tone, then smirked at Druitt. "Show him the hotel scene."
"What? No way," Helen cried. "James is a proper Victorian man. It is not appropriate." At James and younger Helen's looks of concern, Helen explained, "there's a scene in the film that takes place in the hotel. It's nothing."
"Sure, if you consider Irene drugging and then handcuffing a naked Sherlock to a bed nothing," Nikola tossed out nonchalantly. "Personally, I consider that quite interesting," he added as he flashed Helen a lopsided grin.
"What?" Watson and the blonde gasped in horror.
"It's just a movie," Helen hissed."It's nothing to be taken seriously."
"Some fiction," Nikola said holding up one hand, "and some truth" he said holding up the other hand and moving them up and down in opposite directions like the parts of a scale. "You seem to be taking this a little personally, Helen."
She glared back at the smug vampire. "I assure you if I wanted to get a man naked in bed I would not require drugs and a pair of handcuffs," she whispered loud enough so that only the adults could hear.
"Helen!" John rasped harshly, shocked that she would say such a thing with Ashley playing nearby.
Eyes bugged out, James gasped, "Madam, please!" and the blonde, equally appalled, cried, "I cannot believe you just said that. That I just said that," she corrected.
"Oh, please, I've said worse," Helen returned and pointed at the two. "As have you both."
The four turned to glower at the vampire who had burst out laughing at the terse exchange. "This is hilarious," he chuckled. "We should take this show on the road. You could do a two woman stand up routine of yourself."
Any sniping Helen was about to make was cut short when Ashley came crashing into John's waist, causing him to go "oomph!" and throw his arms around her as his feet spread to stabilize them from falling over. Looking down, he beheld his daughter's very flushed face looking up at him tiredly.
"I'm tired, daddy," she whined. "My feet hurt. Carry me?"
"It's no wonder, as much as you've been racing around," he answered and picked her up. "You're getting awfully heavy to carry around anymore though," he noted as she laid her head against his chest and gave her mother a sleepy smile.
"Am not," she contradicted. "I'm still small enough to be carried around. But I'm a big girl too."
"Of course you are," her mother agreed and reached over to stroke her daughter's golden head.
"Is it time to go home yet?" the child asked. "I miss Henry and the Big Guy."
Straightening to his full height, Nikola looked over at the continuum device and announced loudly, "As a matter of fact it is. Time to head home, kiddos. Last one out closes the gate."
"It's time already?" the younger counterpart of Helen cried as she zeroed in on the child curled up in John's arms. Her baby was going to leave her for a very long time and there was nothing she could do about it.
"I'm afraid so," Helen gently replied and felt her heart clench tight as she saw her younger self's eyes start to tear up. They had been here too long and the younger woman had grown attached to Ashley. Parting would be painful, but it needed to be done. It was time for them to go home.
