4.

Haymitch was so convinced Effie's first words on Monday morning would be "why didn't you call?" that it was almost anticlimactic when he found her chatting with another man. Peeta was nowhere to be seen and he would have told Katniss to go directly inside the school but, as was quickly becoming the norm, the kid had plans of her own and ran to Effie, interrupting her discussion by handing out her hair tie and immediately turning around so her hair could be braided.

Effie looked up, spotted him and waved him over with a smile before quickly doing Katniss' hair in a fancy braid.

"Sorry about that." he mumbled, tapping his niece on the shoulder. "Effie was busy. You can't just ask her to do your hair anytime you fancy it."

"Effie doesn't mind. She said so." Katniss replied petulantly.

"I don't mind." Effie confirmed easily. "Haymitch, I wanted to introduce you to Blight. He is Johanna's father."

He felt less defensive all of a sudden. The man was in his forties, looked exhausted and clearly wasn't sweet talking her if he had a kid inside so he shook the offered hand with some relief.

"Happy not to be the only single dad anymore." Blight greeted him with genuine good humor.

Unfortunately, it made Haymitch grim again. Perhaps he was sweet talking Effie after all.

"Finnick! Annie!" Katniss waved and then she dashed away to her friends.

Haymitch was dragged along by Effie who introduced him to Finnick's grandmother. Mags looked like a sweet old woman – the sort of old woman who could murder you with their walking stick. He had almost forgotten about the Brave watching thing but those people, who were more responsible than he was, understandably wanted to make arrangements. Blight offered to drop Finnick and Annie back at Mags' afterwards since, from what he gathered, Annie's sleepover at Finnick's was a temporary that was verging on permanent arrangement. There wasn't any time left to talk to Effie when they were done with the organizational side of things.

He spent most of the day trying to make the house look cleaner in fear nobody would be allowed to play with Katniss again if they thought Haymitch wasn't good enough of a parent.

With that many kids, he didn't dare walk so he came to pick Katniss up with the car. Effie had a similar idea which was good because they could split the kids up in two groups instead of cramming everyone in a single car.

Peeta insisted on going with Katniss so he ended up with the boy, his niece and the infamous Johanna while Effie took Annie and Finnick. He only realized it was the first time he was using the car with Katniss when she stiffened at the sight of it. She was frozen in place on the pavement and he cursed himself for not thinking about that. Before he could say anything though, Johanna stuck her head out of the car and sneered. "What are you waiting for, brainless?"

He lifted his eyebrows, about to scold the kid for the way she was talking to his niece but Katniss had it covered. She sneered right back. "You're brainless! At least I'm not scared of a puddle of water!"

"I'm not scared!" Johanna shouted back, scrambling back so Katniss had enough room to sit on the backseat. "It was just a movie!"

They bickered all the time it took him to check everyone had buckled up and they also bickered all the way home with Peeta playing referee. It turned out Johanna had watched a movie she wasn't supposed to watch, a horror film of some sort, and was now terrified puddles of water would jump on her and she would drown. Katniss looked tense and not only because of her argument with Jo, she was grasping the edge of the seat with a death grip, but she remained collected even if her legs were a little shaky when she stepped out.

Effie pulled behind him a few minutes later. The kids looked around curiously. He was so used to living there that he had stopped noticing the abandoned residential area. His house was the only one in a row of empty ones but it just meant people left him alone and that suited him just fine.

"What is that terrible noise?" Effie asked, helping Annie out of the car.

"Haymitch has geese!" Peeta exclaimed.

Clearly that was news to exactly no one except the boy's aunt because the first thing Katniss did was to lead everyone to the backyard to show them the pen. Saying that the birds were agitated was a nice euphemism.

"Curious choice of pets." Effie commented, keeping her distance. "Johanna, don't put your hand in the pen! They might bite you! I'd rather do without a trip to the E.R."

"I raise them." he shrugged. "Sell the eggs, some of the birds sometimes. Kept the boredom at bay before Katniss came around."

"Is that a profitable business?" she asked curiously, clapping her hands to get the children's attention. "Come on everyone, let's step away from the monsters with sharp teeth."

"I don't really need the money." he offered, opening the back door and gesturing at the kids to go ahead. "It's more of a hobby."

Katniss made a beeline for the fridge and grabbed the milk. He snatched the bottle from her hand before she could drop it – something that had happened far too many times to count. It was chaos for a while and he was grateful for Effie's help because if he had been left to supervise the distribution of snacks by himself, he would have gone mad. Finnick wanted sugar cubes – which he was denied – Annie was actually the nicest and was happy to take whatever he had to give while always saying please and thank you, Katniss wanted an apple but the red kind and not the green, Peeta copied Katniss in everything and Johanna wanted a candy bar.

He reconsidered the cleverness of that later – because Johanna was clearly not a kid you gave sugar to.

It seemed to take forever before he and Effie managed to get everyone in front of the Disney movie.

"If I have to watch this one more time, I will claw my eyes out." he confessed to Effie.

"I can sympathize, Peeta is obsessed with Frozen." she winced. "You haven't suffered until you sat through a thousand repeats of Let it go." They hadn't watched that one yet and he quickly decided they never would. Effie watched the kids who were all staring at the screen almost religiously and gave a tiny shrug. "I think we can relocate to the kitchen."

"Coffee?" he offered with some relief at not being forced to see Merida gain her independence for what must have been the billionth time.

His coffee was awful but she was nice enough not to say it. She was also nice enough to keep up most of the conversation by chatting without pause. He wondered if that was something she did when she was nervous or if she was just naturally that loud. Her voice was high-pitched enough to give him a headache but he didn't mind so much because, when she talked, her eyes sparkled and he was strangely fascinated with the sight.

Peace lasted about fifteen minutes. Johanna declared herself bored with the movie and wanted to play. Finnick followed her and when Finnick followed so did Annie. If Katniss was upset at not being able to watch her favorite movie in peace she didn't let on. She was too busy screaming at Jo that she would catch her with her arrows.

In a matter of seconds his living-room was turned into an Avengers reenactment battle. Katniss was Hawkeye, Peeta Iron Man, Finnick kept screaming he was Captain America... Johanna declared herself Black Widow and Annie shyly stepped away from the game after some time, paddling to the kitchen, climbing on Effie's lap and looking happy enough to cuddle. That meant Haymitch was responsible for checking on the kids and that was something he never wanted to be again. They were having the time of their life it seemed, climbing furniture, screaming and bursting out with laughter... He would have stopped them if it hadn't been for the obvious happiness on Katniss' face. If she was enjoying herself he didn't mind the baubles Johanna kept on knocking off.

"That kid is a public danger." he grumbled as he came back to the kitchen.

Effie flashed him a smile, running her fingers through Annie's long hair. The little girl had fallen asleep curled up against her. "Jo is tough to love."

"I feel sorry for her dad." he snorted, dropping back on his chair. His nerves were frail enough that he wished he could have a drink. "I thought Katniss was a handful but this one's something else."

"She isn't a bad child." Effie chided him. "She is... difficult. Her mother left a little after she was born. Blight is all she has now and it's been complicated. She needs a woman's influence."

He drummed his fingers on the table, contemplating what he wanted to ask and what it would implied about his own intentions but in the end he couldn't help himself. "Like yours? 'Cause I noticed the guy likes you."

"Don't be preposterous." she scoffed.

"Sweetheart, he was so far down your cleavage it's a miracle he didn't get lost." he scowled.

She pursed her lips. "First, you do not mention a lady's cleavage and certainly not where children could hear you. Second, this is ridiculous."

He rolled his eyes. "Why? He's single and you're..."

He cut himself off just in time and she lifted a pointed eyebrow.

"I am?" she prompted.

His grey eyes darted to her lips, fascinated with the grin tugging at the right corner of her mouth.

"Annoying." he said flatly. "Very annoying. Some guys are into that."

"Are you?" she challenged.

The doorbell prevented him from answering, which was a good thing. The less good thing was Blight standing on his doorstep. Maybe, he mused as he watched the man greet Effie, he had exaggerated. Blight was checking her out but no more than any man would look at an attractive woman. Still, he couldn't say he was sorry when the guy left with two of the most unruly kids and the sleepy little girl. That left him with only Peeta and Katniss to work with and that seemed more manageable.

"Peeta and Effie are eating with us." Katniss informed him as soon as he had closed the door on Blight and the rest of his nieces' friends.

He lifted his eyebrows at that piece of news and glanced up at Effie who had been fumbling with her purse and who froze, clearly not having expected that.

"It's fine with me if you don't mind stew leftovers." he shrugged.

Peeta let out an excited yelp and immediately grabbed his aunt's hand with pleading eyes. "Please, Auntie!"

Effie was clearly torn. "I'm sorry, darling, this is a very nice invitation but I promised your parents I would bring you back for dinner."

"Mom won't care!" Peeta exclaimed.

It was interesting that he was calling his mother "mom" instead of "mommy" when Effie was "auntie". Haymitch had yet to see his mysterious elusive parents and it would have been a lie to say he wasn't curious about Peeta's situation, the boy spent an enormous amount of time with his godmother.

"I..." she hesitated, looking from the kid to him. "Are you sure it is not a bother? I would hate to impose."

"Like I said." he shrugged again. "It's only leftovers but there's enough for all of us."

"Let me call your father and see what he says alright?" she relented at last. "But, Peeta, if he wants you home..."

"He won't care 'cause Mom won't care." the boy declared. "I can have a sleepover with you after."

If possible, the kid looked even more happy at that prospect but Effie shot it down very quickly even though she looked sorry about it.

"Darling, you slept over on Friday..." she winced. "You know your mother is sad when you sleep over too often."

"But she doesn't care!" Peeta objected with agitation. "She doesn't like you but I don't care."

"Oh, you cannot say things like that, Peeta!" Effie laughed awkwardly. "Of course, your mother likes me. Now, run along with Katniss."

Katniss was frowning at the conversation taking place but it seemed she had only been waiting for the permission to run away because she grabbed Peeta's hand and dragged him upstairs to her room. Haymitch almost wanted to shout that she wasn't allowed to have boys in her room but it seemed a little extreme at that age.

"Are you alright?" he asked because she looked rattled.

She immediately forced a bright smile on her lips that would have fooled almost anybody. She had a tendency to pretend to be cheerful for other people's sake when she was absolutely not, he had already noticed.

"Oh, perfectly." she lied. "I apologize for this little scene. The situation is... a tad complicated."

"'Cause his mom doesn't like you." He was fishing for information but he was curious. How did that work out if Peeta's mother didn't like his godmother? Effie seemed to be taking care of him on a semi-permanent basis...

"Yes, well, I assure you the feeling is mutual." she scowled. "If you would excuse me for a moment, I will call his father."

She fished her phone out of her purse and stepped outside. He had barely walked back in the living-room to assert the damages – and there were damages, it looked like a hurricane had blown over the room – when Katniss screamed. It wasn't a game induced scream, it was terrified, and Haymitch was upstairs in a flash. Katniss was kneeling on the bed, staring at Peeta with wide eyes, while the boy told her it was okay over and over again.

It really didn't look okay.

Peeta was sitting on the floor where he had clearly fallen – probably after jumping on the bed like Haymitch had expressly forbidden Katniss to do – and his leg was bent at an odd angle. Haymitch's first thought was that Effie was going to kill him. His second was that the boy must have been in an awful lot of pain.

"Fuck." he hissed, crouching next to the boy, not even daring to touch. "Just breathe, okay, kid? We'll get you a doctor."

Given the angle, the leg was clearly broken and badly but Peeta didn't seem to be in pain at all.

"It's okay." Peeta repeated slowly, his blue eyes darting from Haymitch to Katniss. "It came loose that's why I fell." He tugged on his foot and Haymitch watched with morbid fascination as the leg actually came loose. The kid waved the heavy prosthetic with both hands. "See? Robot leg. Just like Iron Man."

Haymitch should have seen it coming. The way the boy hopped when he ran? The slight limp sometimes... He had seen enough wounded soldiers to know what to look for but he had never stopped to think it could happen to a four years old.

Katniss seemed to be wavering between passing out in horror at the sight of the empty trousers leg below the knee or screaming again. In the end, she blinked and carefully climbed off the bed.

"Just like Iron Man." Peeta repeated, almost coaxing. He looked calm, detached, but there was some nervousness underneath, the need to be accepted for who he was. If the girl ran away now, Haymitch mused, it would destroy their bulging friendship.

"Just like Iron Man." Katniss echoed, reaching out to brush her fingers against the plastic limb.

"It's just like Uncle Chaff's boo boo, sweetheart." Haymitch intervened.

Katniss wasn't fazed by many things and, when she was, it never lasted long. "Uncle Chaff doesn't have a robot hand."

"Your Uncle Chaff doesn't have a hand?" Peeta asked, his eyes lighting up with interest.

Speak of the devil...

"Haymitch?" Effie piped in. "Your friend was at the door. I let him in, I hope... Oh dear!"

Katniss' room was crowded. Haymitch stepped aside to let Effie take his place next to the boy. She pieced out together what had happened with more calm than he would have credited her for in that sort of situations, scolding the boy for jumping on the bed when he knew he shouldn't. Chaff leaned against the doorframe, taking advantage of the fact Effie's back was turned to lift his eyebrows with a knowing smirk Haymitch was only too happy to ignore.

"Come on, Katniss, let's give Peeta some privacy, yeah?" he suggested, picking the kid up before she could protest. It was obvious the boy would need to take his pants off to reattach the leg and he doubted he wanted an audience for that. Effie nodded at him gratefully. Peeta's eyes, Haymitch noticed, were riveted on Chaff's stump.

"I wanted to check if the house was still standing." Chaff explained as soon as he had closed the door behind them. "Didn't mean to crash on your date."

"It's not a date." he grumbled. "Did you miss the two kids?"

"Is she the kid's aunt, then?" his friend grinned, completely ignoring him. "She's hot, buddy. Please, tell me you're not going to be your usual moron and you're going to tap that ass."

Katniss wrinkled her nose. "You're hot when you're sick. Effie's not sick."

"How about you start tidying up the living-room, sweetheart?" he suggested, placing her down as soon as they were downstairs.

"You help." she requested.

"I wasn't the one making the mess." he pointed out.

"But you didn't make Finnick, Annie and Jo clean." she argued.

"Annie didn't do much of anything." he retorted. "Come on, go start. I just need a word with Uncle Chaff."

She dragged her feet all the way to the living-room but he waited until he was sure she was gone to glare at his friend. "Not in front of the kid."

Chaff rolled his eyes. "Well, the kid's gone now. So? You're going for it or what? I can babysit. It's been ages since you got laid."

He averted his eyes, annoyed. "Don't say it like that. She's better than just a one night stand, okay?"

"Oh..." Chaff chuckled, clearly finding the whole thing hilarious. "Someone has a crush..."

"Shut up." he growled.

Thank god for four years old who never were discreet because they heard Peeta stomping down the stairs early enough that Effie didn't walk in on their discussion. The boy was limping slightly but not enough that he wasn't quicker than his aunt on her heels. Peeta looked displeased but he cheered up when he spotted Chaff. He grabbed the stump before Haymitch or Effie, who was barely catching up, could stop him and ran his little palm on the rugged skin. The stump wasn't a pretty sight, emergency stitching after a battle wasn't about aesthetic, Haymitch had the scars to prove it.

"You're like me." Peeta declared with some awe.

"I am sorry." Effie offered with an apologetic smile. "We do not know many people with..." She let her sentence trail off, probably unsure of how to finish that without hurting anyone's feelings.

"It's fine." Chaff waved it off indulgently with his good hand and ruffled the boy's hair. "Yeah, just like you, except I don't have a fancy prosthetic."

"Auntie Effie got it for me." Peeta proudly informed him.

Haymitch lifted his eyebrows in her direction in inquisition but, aside for a brief forced smile, she didn't answer.

"I am afraid we cannot stay for dinner." she said. "I appreciate the invitation and I am very sorry."

"Everything's okay?" he frowned. "He's not hurt, right?"

She shook her head immediately. "It is a little swollen but that is not unusual. His parents want him home for dinner."

"Stupid mom." Peeta grumbled with a scowl that could have rivaled Katniss'.

"Peeta." Effie chided him, terse enough that he bowed his head. He didn't exactly look sorry though. "Go say goodbye to Katniss."

Katniss must have heard the voices because she came running and, upon being told her guests were leaving, she frowned and grabbed Effie's hand in a move that was quickly becoming a habit. "You're sick?"

"Me?" Effie asked, taken aback. "Absolutely not. Where did you get that idea?"

"Katniss..." he warned, having a good idea of what would happen. It flew right over her head.

"Uncle Chaff said you are hot. Hot people are sick." the girl stated flatly but with some sincere worry.

Happy to be left out of this one, Haymitch watched with some amusement as Chaff winced in embarrassment.

Effie's lips twitched in amusement but her face remained blank. "I think Uncle Chaff should know better than talking about certain things in front of children."

"Can't blame a guy for noticing, love." Chaff winked.

"What is it with all of you and pet names?" she sighed, before checking her watch. "Peeta, darling, we really need to get going."

The goodbyes with Katniss were almost tearful. They hugged like there would be no tomorrow.

"Are they drama queens or what?" Haymitch snorted.

"They're cute." Chaff decided before nudging Effie's arm with his stump. "Haymitch could use a good long hug too, you know, love... Just saying."

He expected her to start yelling in outrage but she didn't bat an eyelash. "Haymitch should use my phone number then, shouldn't he?"

Chaff burst out laughing and clapped Haymitch on the shoulder. "Oh, I like her. She's feisty."

The thing was...

Haymitch liked her too.

And wasn't that a problem in itself…


Sooooo what do you think? The house is still in one piece! The play date wasn't a TOTAL disaster... AAAAND Chaff is a hayffie shipper! Who would have thought?! Now the big question is... Will Haymitch call Effie ? Cause we all know dating isn't really his scene...