"Lori dear, don't watch TV all day, will you?"

Lori had exchanged her donuts for a plate of microwave macaroni while watching any show she came across. Loki had curled up in her head and tried to ignore it all while wallowing in self-pity. Now a tall, muscled man with curly read hair and a beard stood in the door opening, shaking his head.

"Dad, it's Sunday!"

"There must be something you can do, baby carrot."

Inside, Loki laughed out loud.

"Baby Carrot! By the Norns!"

Lori winced and sighed.

"Fine dad, I'll go take a walk."

"Walking to the kitchen and back is not a walk."

"I meant outside, dad."

Annoyed, Lori slipped into her coat and shoes. It was bad enough having an impossibly healthy bodybuilder dad without having a Norse god inside her head making fun of her. Outside, when she was certain no one could hear her, she screamed.

"Loki Laufeyson shut your big trap!"

"As you wish… baby carrot." Again, mean laughter filled Lori's head. Defeated, she plopped down on a park bench. That of course gained her comments.

"Seriously, you can't even stand up for five minutes? Too much trouble dragging your weight with you?"

"Why are you so mean to me?"

It was a remarkably honest question. Loki scowled.

"Because I'm stuck in your ugly body and because I have no idea how to get out and because you are infuriating!"

Lori sighed deeply, and Loki felt she was crying again.

"Do mortal females don't do anything but cry, seriously?"

"You have no idea how to get out, you say? Well, I can sadly enough say the same. More, I can safely assume I hate this body more than you do. I am fat. I am ugly. I am bigmouthed. Don't you think I know those things without you throwing them in my face all the time? It's enough that my dad does it."

Loki knew he should be happy he broke the little mortal's moral, but… he wasn't. He just listened to Lori as she went on.

"Do sports, eat healthy, go on a diet, stop eating all the same! Don't you think I've tried to be better? It's never good enough. I'm just not a supermodel-thin little miss perfect and I never will be. I'm fat, short and a total failure. Oh and since I'm actually telling this to a voice in my head I'm also batshit crazy."

"You're… you're not THAT short."

Lori raised an eyebrow.

"What was that? Did you just actually make an attempt at cheering me up?"

"No, just stating the truth. You're not that much shorter than other Midgardian females."

"Do you want to believe that's not what my dad thinks? He keeps showing me these vitamins and stuff hoping I will grow."

"So… where's your mother in all this?"

"Dead and gone. Well, not dead. Very much gone. To Australia, living with this scuba diving instructor type. Apparently even a more muscled bloke than my dad."

"Oh. I see."

"So, I spilled my guts to you. Your turn."

"Not happening, little mortal. You have no business with my life."

"Unfortunately I do, you live in my head. Come on, spill."

The little bit of pity he had felt for the girl faded. Loki growled.

"Keep out of things that don't concern you, fatty!"

Lori sighed, got up and continued her walk though the park, blatantly ignoring Loki. She had figured that was the best way to deal with it, just ignore him.

Lori waited until she was sure her uninvited guest was asleep. It was an odd feeling, having a sleeping person in her head, a bit like carrying a heavy bag… Then she sat down behind her computer. Time to do a little research on Mr Rude-and-Mysterious… She almost immediately had results.

"Wow. So my head is a jail cell for the guy who tried to rule the world?"

In a way, Lori found that funny. If there were one way this so-called god would learn humility it would be by sharing her fat excuse of a body… Even if he would manage to take her over –now that was a creepy thought- no one would ever take him seriously as a potential global dictator in her body. There was a knock on her door, and her father peaked in.

"Baby carrot, it's 11 pm. You should go to sleep now!"

"Dad, I'm 17. Could you please not call me that?"

"You're 17, and you're my baby carrot, and you know I love you."

"Dad!"

"Good night Lori…"

Lori rested her head in her hands. She loved her father, really, but sometimes she found him… what had Loki called it? Infuriating. Not to mention the way he looked at her, as if… as if she was a disgrace. Not when they were alone, but always when others were around, as if he was ashamed of her. Lori guessed it wasn't all that surprising. After all her father was a health freak with the body of a god… Tss, Loki should hear her think that… Lore realized it was frightening how quickly that evil, helmet-bearing creep had wormed himself a way into her thoughts. Feeling slightly uneasy she made her way to her bed.

(Pagebreak)

Loki was dreaming strange things. His dreams featured toothbrushes being stuck too far in this mouth, decapitating Laufey -but all of a sudden the frost giant had the face of Lori's father-, and special torture pants designed to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible by squeezing his legs tighter and tighter. He wasn't used to dreaming that detailed, and frankly he could say he didn't like it…

The next morning, Lori yawned and got up to the sound of her radio clock, having completely forgotten the whole Norse-God-Debacle. The wonders of a good night rest… No wonder seeing Loki's reflection in the mirror caused her to scream.

"Please don't tell me you had already forgotten about me, mortal. I knew you Midgardians had small memory capacity but that would be beyond acceptable."

"I held the hope that you and your rudeness and your stupid helmet were a product of my imagination after all."

Lori frowned at Loki.

"Plus, it's Lori not Mortal. I know I'm mortal, it's stating the obvious."

"You mean I could as well call you 'woman' or 'fat'?"

"It's too early for jokes at the expense of me and my extra pounds, Loki. I had the weirdest dream ever tonight, I cut a girl's hair and it turned all black, totally like in that Disney movie, "Tangled". And then there was this annoying blonde bloke following me everywhere through a labyrinth of books. Seriously, it's too early to mock me I'm still trying to come to terms with it all."

So the mortal wench had dreamed of his life… Loki felt mildly violated, but the fact she called Thor an "annoying bloke" made up for it. His mirror image pointed at a toothbrush.

"What is that thing for?"

Lori raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously, are you telling me you've never seen a toothbrush before? It's a special brush to clean your teeth. Look, I'll show you how it works."

Lori started brushing her teeth, leaving Loki to wonder why he had dreamed of such an unusual use for this Midgardian tool.

"Do you use it for other things too?"

"Wha? Cwant twalk mouthshfull of tshoothspashte."

Lori spit out the toothpaste and cleaned her brush.

"Other things? Well, I have heard of people being obliged to clean the floors with it… Perhaps they should have let you do that instead of locking you inside my head."

"You have no idea of what punishment is like, mortal."

"And we're there again. Let's make a deal. As long as you call me "mortal", I either ignore you are call you something equally annoying. Like "puny"."

Loki shut up about that. How did she know about that? What had she…

"Ah, the godly big trap is closed at long last… blissful silence…"

"How did you know about that!?"

"I did some research, hoping to find a way to exorcise you from my head."

"I will not be released before the Allfather decides to do so."

"Who the hell is this Allfather type anyway?"

"My fathe- he's the king of Asgard."

Loki quickly made up for his lapse, but not quickly enough. Lori chuckled.

"Dude. It's your dad, isn't it?"

That made Loki really, really angry.

"You don't know anything, you gruesome, pathetic little mortal!"

"Whatever you say, Puny."

"AAARGH!"

Lori couldn't help but chuckle. Making that creep in her head loose his cool was a sport in itself… Her father called from downstairs that she had to hurry, so she made sure she got downstairs as quickly as possible. Loki was sulking inside her head, and Lori dared to hope that perhaps, maybe, he would let her be for the rest of the day…

(Pagebreak)

It didn't happen often that Loki met someone who could challenge Stark in obnoxiousness. Of course, it didn't really help Lori's case that Loki couldn't remove himself from her person, literally. He decided to just sit and wait for now, and see what would happen. In school he noticed quite a few things. The first was that Lori didn't really have friends. It wasn't that she was a pariah, not at all, but there didn't appear to be anyone she had a relationship with going deeper than the usual hello-goodbye. The second was that Lori was quite intelligent. He should have guessed so, since her resemblance to Stark, but it still came as a surprise to see that she had little trouble with her classes. Loki liked to think of mortals as stupid ants, and he didn't like to be proven wrong. His third observation was made in the dressing room for Physical Education.

Lori tried to ignore the god standing behind her in the mirror, but it was hard. Loki decided to give her an extra hard time by staring very deliberately at her. That was when he noticed the bizarre brown spots on the redhead's skin. They weren't the same as the freckles in her face; instead they were darker and bigger. Loki wondered how he had missed them the first time he had seen Lori in her underwear.

The girl apparently heard him think, so she gruffly whispered.

"Birth marks. They are birth marks, and don't you make fun of them."

The whispering had not been a good idea.

"Hey, carrot top! You talking to yourself?"

One of the other girls in the dressing room grinned viciously at Lori. It was a situation that felt all too familiar for Loki, having had similar things in the training rooms of Asgard when he was younger. Lori turned to face the girl that had spoken, a tall brunette with long sleek hair and a perfectly shaped figure.

"No Liz, why?"

"Oh nothing, I was just pretty certain I heard you talk to your reflection. Convincing it to stay, perhaps? I'm surprised it hasn't ran off already like that mother of yours."

Loki could feel the blood seep to Lori's cheeks.

"Don't insult my mother!"

"I'm not insulting her carrot, I'm just stating the obvious. Any mother would have run off if she pushed out a daughter like you, really."

Oh no. Loki knew the feeling that now rushed through Lori's body, it was the same as when he had insulted her. She was about to cry. This required intervention. With his sternest voice –one he had secretly copied from Odin- he spoke.

"Lori Lauritsen, if you dare to cry I swear I'll let my daughter feed you to Nidhogg!"

It didn't have the effect needed. Lori bit her lip, put her clothes back on, and left the dressing room without changing into her PE uniform. She ran into a small chamber at the end of a hallway marked "girl's sickbay". There she collapsed on a bunk bed and started crying her eyes out. Loki felt awkward… he had never felt any desire to get acquainted with Aesir teenage girls back in Asgard, so the sheer drama of it all sort of surprised him.

"Ah well, at least you didn't cry in front of them. That would have been too humiliating."

Lori snorted in the dirty pillow and groaned.

"Could you… for once… shut up? It's bad enough, okay? Just… shut up."

And Loki shut up. Because despite his disgust for the mortal female, he knew all too well how she felt.

(Author's Notes)

Yeah, I made Lori a bullying victim. Nothing terrible, just the usual mean girls shit. Please REVIEW! I live on reviews, they make my day! suggestions are welcomed too!