One Piece:
Blind Man's Bluff
Theme: #27 – Foreign
Pairing: Roronoa Zoro X Nami
Rating: K (light-hearted, first encounters)
Timeline: AU – in reference to One Piece SBS Vol. 76
"Excuse me," came a deep voice from the front door of the Aka-Mikan-Chan Child Care Center. The chime of the bell dangling above was hardly heard over the volume of the kids in the playroom, yet such a low, masculine beckon seemed to hum in her ear. It was so very strange for a male over the age of five to speak to her during daylight hours, after all.
Sighing, she fiddled with her bangs quite quickly before straightening her pose. Her bright, inquiring eyes found a pair of steely ones staring back at her, but for their striking appearance, they held none of the fright she imagined they could instill.
After all, the man in her doorway was none other than a police officer.
In full uniform, no less.
He tipped his hat before removing it and kindly waited for her to approach him at the door. Mindfully, she expertly dodged child after child and sauntered over, cleaning her hands on the apron she wore out of a perfected habit. "Hello there," she greeted with a smile, "can I help you?"
No smile was offered, nor a shake of his head or hand; he nonchalantly explained, "I'm Officer Zoro. Someone contacted the station to have one of us come down to talk to the kids." It was a statement of fact, yet it ended sounding like a question as he peeked around her. It was obviously a surprise for him to spy the twenty kids she tended to, however, he was kind enough to refrain from looking overwhelmed in the slightest.
Smiling, she clapped and exclaimed, "Oh, wonderful! I'm so glad you were able to send someone over so soon; I only called yesterday."
"Well," Officer Zoro dragged the word as he returned his gaze to her, "it's a slow day today."
"Lucky us. I'm Nami, by the way." She sung softly while deciding to offer one of the hands she had cleaned for him for an introductory hand shake. As if slow on the uptake, he took it at once and shook a little too firmly for a first meeting. But she knew he must have noticed how she was able to deliver the same style of grip.
Only on a much more feminine scale.
"Nice to meet you." The phrase sounded robotic – drilled into his head rather than something he'd say freely – but somehow she found it charming.
Nami nodded in return. "So, how do you normally do this sort of thing?" When he merely blinked at her, she went into what she felt was an obvious explanation, "How should we set up the children for…however you want to do this?"
Again, the police man seemed perplexed. Nami began to wonder if she should fear for the safety of the city – if he couldn't even manage to set up a room of children with simple instructions – as he placed a hand under his chin, looking just as determined as he did thoughtful. A few moments passed them by, and neither any words from him nor her patience seemed to be present. It was then that the truth of the matter dawned on her.
Carefully, so as not to be overheard by the children, she leaned in and whispered, "Hey, have you ever done this before?"
Those steely eyes blinked wildly at her, a look of both confusion and recognition of her words battling in his features. She felt as though she had cornered one of the tykes in the room rather than a man of law enforcement.
Needless to say, some of the charm of his uniform dissipated.
Nami slinked back with a sigh begging to rush forth from her lungs. But no, she refrained for the sake of his dignity and simply turned back to observe the children running about the play room. She was certain a few had noticed the shiny adult who walked in moments ago, but they were more than likely taking advantage of their no-Nami-mommy freedom and doing things that only little ones could do when able to roam without supervision. Much like mini criminals, really; he should be able to relate to that, at least.
Glancing at Officer Zoro one more time, she smirked at him with an all-knowing grin – receiving yet another set of blinks from him, this time frightfully curious – before she shouted playfully, "Alright, who wants to meet a real, big, strong police officer? First one here gets to wear his hat!"
Somehow, they ended up outside. That was all Zoro remembered; between the colourful, thwarted glimpses of his vision and the constant struggle to move his body without struggling with some chubby bear trap grip on his legs, the lot of them ended up in the playground behind the child care center.
Or mini-demon training facility. Either one sufficed to him.
Zoro barely had the chance to discuss road-crossing safety or stranger danger before an impromptu game of cops and robbers began. The worker Nami had to settle a few disputes before recruiting him as a cop so she could be the last robber in the teams divided. Immediately, he volunteered to be the 'guard' of the jail cell, which he deemed to be the next-to-the-ground concrete ledge of a very flimsy garden.
This was his half-day off from duty, and here he was as a pretend cop.
In the blink of an eye, he dropped onto the ledge for a seat. Elbows on his high-rise knees, the officer took his hat off and scratched his head. His brain felt as though it was the only muscle in his body that wasn't worn after fending off so many brats from holding him hostage. Wrestling a real robber into a jail cell was less tiring than this, he couldn't help but think in his mind.
"Oh no, you got me!" shrieked Nami playfully, immediately grabbing his attention. The orange-haired woman and her puffed ponytail skipped over to the makeshift prison with a dramatically depressed expression. The girl who caught her caregiver giggled oddly – that horo horo laugh was oddly chilling – before swooping back into the game, alerting her caught criminal to ditch the sad façade before sitting down next to him.
"Having fun?" Nami teased with a light laugh. She stretched while waiting for his reply, something that he was sure was necessary if she lived her days similar to the horror he had just endured.
Not that he'd ever reveal he thought of her kids as demonic entities, oh no.
"It's definitely a lot livelier than I imagined," he admitted the slightest fraction of his thought process, "I didn't really get to teach them anything before they broke out into playing this game."
Another laugh from her irked him slightly. She said nothing right away, just arched a brow the way she had curved her lips into that almighty grin before siccing her little goblins on him. "You aren't around a lot of kids, are you?" Nami asked, sounding as though she knew the answer.
Bluntly, he replied, "Not really. Not many four year olds are holding up convenience stores for their afternoon snack."
She laughed again, from the heart this time. "I see," she allowed for the surprise due to his snark to be heard in her tone. Leaning over her knees, Nami checked on the children for a few moments, called to one of them not to charge at the others like a missile – especially since that particular little one was a robber, not a cop – and then turned back to face him. Nothing to say, just returned her eyes to his so he could notice how round they were, how they reminded him of the colour of chocolate.
With a deep inhale of breath did Zoro take a moment to observe the little ones, too. For a game amongst so many feisty babies, he was genuinely surprised how empty the jail was. Although, in all honesty, he wouldn't have been the least bit surprised if they had changed the game on him while he wasn't looking. In spite of himself, he said, "This must be a tiring job, if it's like this every day."
"Well not every minute is busy like the last half hour has been, but—"
"Wait, it's only been thirty minutes!?"
Nami lazily eyed her wristwatch and told him, "Twenty-three, actually."
How the dinky monsters made him believe an hour had passed him by, he would never know. Little sorcerers, they were, that was the only thing he was certain of. That, and their caregiver Nami was a woman made of steel, some unbreakable material, if she managed to work here for more than a day – let alone an entire work week – and want to return the following Monday.
He'd be a father one day, but he wouldn't dream of being the captain of a group this size.
Nami brought him back when she offered him sudden praise, "Thank you for coming here, by the way. I know you're taking time out of your day – and for free, too – when you're clearly dying inside."
"I'm fine," his bluff called, Zoro did all he could not to stutter, "There are just… a lot of them."
"Well, it's a good thing you're strong enough to carry them all." Her supposed empathy evaporated in a subtle defense of her kids' evident need of maintenance. Though where the children left his brain alone, Nami was taking advantage of him conversationally; perhaps they all functioned together so well due to their mutual need of great maintenance.
Tossing his head back, Zoro asked, "Where are the other caretakers? You can't do this all by yourself."
"Oh no," the immediate response hinted she might know the worn feeling he felt more than she let on, "My sisters and I work her, and we bring in a few students every now and again. One's at a meeting until two, the other is on her lunch, and the students are in class today. Luckily, you showed up so I was barely alone with them."
He eyed her suspiciously, "Isn't there a law about having a certain number of workers when there's a big group of kids?"
"Which is why I'm so lucky you're here. To inform me of the law, and help me uphold it." That cheeky grin showed she knew she was toying with him, but even though he was almost sure this vague law he had brushed past in his years of service required more than two for a group of twenty kids, he wasn't about to 'bring her in' over this.
His partner might; he was more of a real life cops and robbers kind of guy.
"I could fine you for that."
"For what?"
"For not having enough people here to watch these kids!"
Nami waved off his threat while pouting angrily, "Vivi will be back in a few minutes, so relax."
"That's only two people, though!"
"Oh, yeah?" – it clicked in her eyes the moment she realized his meaning – "You're running out on us so soon?"
"I don't work here," Zoro grumbled back at her, "I have to return to my real job! Not…spend my day acting as a guard for a prison that these kids aren't even using!"
Now, both pairs of eyes motioned to see what the little ones were up to. It was revealed then that his hunch was correct: both teams – cops and robbers – had merged to play their own game of Red Rover instead. There were some outbursts, but it was mostly smiles drawn on their faces, looking ever so sweet while plowing through the arms of their friends.
"Now that game can't be legal here." Zoro couldn't help but mumble to himself.
"Well I guess you don't need to crush our budding tulip with your butt anymore." Nami teased with a bit of a disappointed tone as she rose to stand. Anxiously did he spring forth, worried and mortified to learn he had indeed been squatting atop of what he prayed wasn't a young flower planted by one of the shrunken ghouls.
The last thing he wanted was for them to plow him into the ground and plant him like a tulip.
However, all such concerns drifted away when he felt that spunk of Nami's genuinely fizzle now that she had risen to say goodbye to him. Was it for the children? He had barely taught them anything, after all. Admittedly, he had come unprepared…but should he return, it would give him time to form an attack strategy for the teeny, mean-y goblins.
That, and he knew Tashigi would never let him hear the end of it if he couldn't even manage to educate twenty kids, even if she didn't know they were merely wearing the skins of human children as a disguise.
Neither would any of the other guys at the station.
And definitely not Captain Smoker.
"Hey," he called out before a frightening image of what his failure's punishment could mean for him, "I'm going now, but I'll be back."
Though her surprise was warranted, it felt a bit cruel, to both him and those she supposedly provided care for, "Huh? But you visited like you were supposed to. The kids had fun."
"But I didn't teach them anything." Zoro pointed out. He tilted his head in the direction of the game of Red Rover, which looked as if it was morphing into a few scattered pairs and trios of different games by this point. The fact that they barely paid him any mind really struck him too; weren't kids always fascinated by something new? He was out of sight, out of their minds the moment they released him from their puny claws.
He would return, and he would be victorious.
"Alright," answered Nami, sounding both exhausted yet pleased with his decision, "but, if that's what you plan to do, I suggest you bring them something."
That statement caused Officer Zoro to feel dimwitted, out-smarted as such simplistic yet strange advice was given to him. "Bring them something?" He repeated weakly.
Nodding, Nami pointed at him with her index finger. "You need to entertain them," she instructed, "but if you give them something to take home too, then they'll probably remember the point of what you're trying to teach them at least. And, most importantly, they will be too distracted to attack you."
Those words felt like a pact being made, something that would indeed inspire him to return another day. He was ready to agree, until something dawned on him; he pointed at her in return and ordered, "Don't offer up my hat as a prize to them, and maybe I'll make it out of here alive."
She stalled, taking in his pointed finger and his demand of her. Her eyes slanted in a way that reminded him of a cat, for some reason; intrigued yet thinking, as if there was more to be said, to be gained. Nami indeed thought so, as she tacked on to their list of conditions, "Bring me something too, and maybe I'll be too distracted."
That brought him up short, "What?"
"Or," her eyes widened with excitement, "I could hold onto your hat for safe-keeping."
"Hold onto—"
"Like, wear it for you."
"Huh? What, no! It's my hat—"
A chesshire grin found its way onto Nami's face, and sat comfortably as if it had always belonged there. "Perfect! Okay, everyone! Officer Zoro is saying goodbye now!"
He cursed mentally, deeply, in his soul. The fact that she silenced him by sending her hellish gremlins at him truly showcased her personality, bringing her actions around in a full circle from the moment he entered this dark abyss of a child care center. She was their mother devil, their evil creator, a witch who had enchanted all of the children she cared for into her toy-sized evil minions.
And what had he done? He had already promised to return.
As she ushered the kids over to him to say their goodbyes, he found Nami smiling at him warmly as if she felt as though their previous exchange was endearing, rather than what it truly was: a contract of his soul being sold to the devil. Nevertheless, he returned the grin just as gently, for the sake of the kids who he might have misjudged – or at least, he almost believed such a thing before a ketchup-stained child jumped at him and hugged his face – and because, dare he say, he could take on her challenge too.
He was a cop after all; it was his job to find any threats to the good of the public, his pride, and his hat apparently, and then take them down.
Author's Notes:
Whaaat?
This is based off of the careers Oda-sensei agreed to for the Mugiwara if they had modern-day jobs. This was also loosely inspired by the lovely image done by a Japanese Zoro x Nami artist, who I am having trouble linking the image of here. Some of this artist's work can be found if you google zn2mikan. If anyone knows the image I mean and can explain how to properly link it should he or she choose to review, I'd appreciate it.
(The image actually has all of the children, and ZoNa saying good morning in Japanese…which I clearly didn't read until after. Oops!)
I chose 'Foreign' as the theme because:
- Writing an AU story is foreign territory for me, as I don't think I've ever written one, due to the possible OOC feelings a reader may have
- It is clearly foreign for Zoro to interact with kids!
- In this world, Nami dedicates herself to her work and, as she said, she doesn't see adult males (aside from dads picking up kids, most likely) during the day
- It must be foreign for all of those One Piece characters to be casted as five year olds! Did you catch the three I hinted at?
Oh, and Aka-Mikan-Chan is my play on the center being called 'Baby Mikan', as aka-chan in Japanese means baby.
Phew, four hour-made ZoNa! I hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading!
