TBH the lateness of the next chapter of Fork in the Road is because I was writing the NEXT side story and sort of... forgot the main story ? ? somehow? Yeah, I'm horrible I know. It hopefully isn't too far off.

So this idea was placed in my head by Cabot on while talking about the possible explanations behind the pregnancy in Fork in the Road. She never did get back to me about whether or not it was okay for me to kidnap the idea and alter it to make it work as a standalone so I hope this is okay…

Warnings: mpreg (but this time it's actually a little more body horrorish); dub-con (? Eh, I'll call it that)

This is an honour.

Most members of the First Order (and Knights of Ren) would give everything they owned and their lives to be given the opportunity to be this useful to their Supreme Leader. Kylo Ren had been chosen out of a near unfathomable amount of people to be given this honour. It is something that truly shows how much the Supreme Leader trusts and values him.

The want to vomit is just the morning sickness lasting longer than it should. It is defiantly not the reality of the situation sitting uncomfortably where it rests in his stomach (in about the same location as the bulge that is no longer able to be hidden).

Sure he had been reluctant at first. It was just that the concept of it was so foreign to him and his limited life experience that he allowed his weakness to blind him from the honour it was. Snoke had assured him that the method of procreation was common in many of the species across the galaxy. It really wasn't anything to get himself worked up over. Once Kylo had regained his composure and looked at the situation without the blindness his old weakness gave him he could see just how much of an honour it would be and easily consented.

Having the child implanted inside him was not an experience he liked to think about. It was necessary, of course, and a great honour. It was also painful and unpleasant and whenever his mind turns to it he quickly tries to find a distraction. He knows he is not supposed to distract from the thoughts. He is supposed to face them and turn the pain (and humiliation) into power. It is hard though and he tries to justify his weakness (to himself, he would never say the words aloud) as being another side effect of his condition.

It will soon be over though. Just another two months of the uncomfortableness and it will be over. Kylo pretends he isn't counting down the days, pretends he hasn't been counting down the days since it started. It is an honour to serve the Supreme Leader and one in such a position should enjoy each and every day that their body is being used for that purpose. It is a weakness that Kylo must defeat that is making him crave the end. It is a weakness and one he hopes to defeat before it is over.

Hux has been avoiding him since the pregnancy became visible. He is apparently weak and cannot handle the sight of the Supreme Leader's faith in Kylo. It is easy to tell himself that Hux is jealous. To tell himself that he is glad he does not have to deal with the infuriating man who is nothing but an annoyance in his life. It is easy to pretend it is Hux's weakness and envy that is making him avoid Kylo. Easier to pretend than the possibility that Hux can look at the situation and see that there is something wrong with it. That Hux does not see it as bad fortune that he himself wasn't pressed into the arrangement. No, Hux is merely jealous and therefore weak.

There is a shift inside him and a foot that branches out to push against his skin that is already stretched tight. Kylo absently reaches down to gently rub where the foot is trying to kick out. He reaches out with the Force to the still forming mind and tries to transfer an aura that will calm it. He knows he probably isn't supposed to try and give the child such comforts, especially not when he cannot deny the secondary motivation of giving himself more comfort. It is another weakness. He still has two months to defeat that one as well. The child will only grow larger, stronger, in those two months. There is still much discomfort for him to channel into power.

The mind inside him reaches out and sends love back in response to his attempted comfort. He quickly cuts off the connected that he himself opened. He knows for sure he is not supposed to encourage that. Knows he is not to become the child's mother (not to think of himself as such). He is its carried and it is an honour (but that is all it is, it is not an obligation to the unborn child).

The mind reaches out again, determined to attach back to his. That too is only going to get stronger as the child grows. It already has gotten stronger, rapidly so, in the last week. He tries to block it out, to keep it from his mind. He fails (he buckles).

Once its mind has settled deep in the back of his consciousness the kicking stops. He can feel the love and comfort and safety it feels there and refuses to try and unravel the complex emotions that are his response to that.

There is still two more months to go. Two more months of the slow agony that is the decline in his own power and mobility from his body's adjustments to grow the child (the Supreme Leader assured him it would all return after, possibly greater from the new strength he has gained from the trial). Two more months of the sickening, weakness he feels for it.

It is an honour to be allowed to help the Supreme Leader's goals in such a passive (active, this is the most physically and mentally draining thing he has ever done) way. An honour and he should be grateful in every moment of it.

There is two months to go and Kylo Ren is counting down each and every day.