One Piece:

Even When It Hurts


Theme: #88 – Pain

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Nami

Rating: T (Comical Nakama Behaviour; Swearing)

Timeline: Post-Punk Hazard; Pre-Dressrosa (Anime Canon!)


"Rrrgh! I…can't…get comfortable! Ooh, SANJI-KUN!"

"Coming, Mellorine~"

Zoro frowned deeply, more menacingly than ever before in his mortal life. His well-earned afternoon nap had been quite elusive ever since the boisterous navigator brought her lawn chair onto the upper deck that housed the helm, where the swordsman had foolishly chosen to rest on this inane day of days. Normally, he wouldn't bother to concern himself with the shitty cook and Nami's sickening interactions; usually, they left him and his haphazard sleeping pattern out of their affairs.

The lovesick prince galloped up the stairs towards the helm as if he had just learned to walk and was putting forth all of his energy into reaching the beckoning harpy who summoned him. Barely peeking his eye open allowed Zoro to bear witness to the farce that was their relationship, if only to discover what had riled the witch so much so that she had to disrupt the life of every being around her. When the love slave finally came to her side, he kneeled and placed a hand over his heart like a sworn knight and said, "Yes, Nami-san? How can I serve you toda—"

"Sa-a-anji-i-i." Hissed the princess as she sat perched on her lawn chair, her voice low and foreboding of the oncoming trouble that was sure to come. Something inside of the swordsman compelled him to breath much faster than what was considered normal for a man who was supposedly sleeping.

The perverted troll looked like a petrified demon when he heard that tone, knowing it wasn't planning to shower him with lavish words or hungry requests to taste his prowess in the kitchen. No, Nami was angry, and it seemed to be directed at No. 7.

Good, thought No. 1, admiring the change of pace.

"Y-Yes?" Squeaked twirly-brows.

"Would you care to explain THIS!?" Suddenly, just as she finished shouting her ambiguous question at the scared man before her, Nami rolled onto her stomach if only to point to her perky bottom. Given that she had most likely chosen to rest on the deck with the intention to tan, her miniscule bikini of lilac and sky blue couldn't hope to cover her backside; what could she possibly be asking the stupid cook, in concern to her ass!?

Somehow, Mr. Nosebleed understood. If the way he shuddered was any indication of the powerful orange-scented wrath that was about to befall the Thousand Sunny, their Pirate Alliance with Trafalgar Law would be over before it even began, much like their livelihood as a crew.

Or perhaps Zoro misread him? That evident shiver that had rattled the idiotic horn-dog had looked to be a reaction in fear, but not, when he was prepared with an answer to the damning question, he turned to face none other than the swordsman and proclaimed, "It's that muscle-bound fool's fault! When I was in your body, he threw me on the ground!"

Uh oh…!

"He…WHAT!?"

Shit, shit, shit!

"He caught my hand when I slipped – like a prince – on some ice and then threw me on the ground!"

That stupid bastard, ratting him out!

"Roronoa ZORO!" He heard her leap out of her seat and pad her bare feet over to where he had so precariously sat the entire conversation. His face frozen, his breathing erratic, it took every ounce of training embedded in his body not to react to the rising concern he had towards the preservation of his life. The worst thing to ever do was show your opponent fear!

His unbridled horror evolved into rage when that petit fist of hers slammed into the side of his head.

"Oi!" Zoro protested as he reached to nurse his head, only to still the moment he laid eyes on infuriated Nami who now towered over his crumbled position on the deck. The only thing that kept him from freezing in fright was the sight of the snickering, useless idiot lagging behind her, in the hopes of witnessing the proud swordsman's demise. Trying to stay alive against her verbal assaults, he foolishly asked her, "W-What do you want!?"

"You bastard! You threw me on the GROUND!?" Even though she was without her heels, the sudden step her foot took in approaching his seated pose made Zoro grow worried that she might attack him with every flailing limb of her body.

Poorly defending himself, the flustered swordsman quickly retorted, "It wasn't YOU! He was fooling around and talking about your body, and got distracted! It's his fault he fell!"

"I sent you with him so he wouldn't do anything weird to me!"

"And he didn't!"

Nami leaned in so her face was right in front of his, "Talking about my body is weird enough! And now I have this painful bruise!" As if the ample view of her breasts clad in her flirty bikini top hadn't been enough to spoil him, the navigator known for her uninhibited behaviour had her injured bottom on display for him in the blink of an eye. Startled, he nearly shot his head backwards against the wall behind him!

"What's so painful about it? You were running around Punk Hazard like everything was fine!" Zoro bravely pointed out, as if opposing her further was any less risky than the very act that had injured her precious body.

"I didn't notice it before! Now I can't sit without it hurting…and it's all your FAULT!"

"Hey, what's going on up here?" came a smoky voice from the stairs. All three deck occupants turned to view the arrival of none other than the two doctor's currently residing on their ship: Tony Tony Chopper and Trafalgar Law, himself. Whereas the newest arrival seemed bothered by the natural bouts between the first mate and the crew's witch, the residential doctor merely looked a tad crossed to know that his friends were fighting once again. Indeed, the most inexperienced pirate dared to say, "Nami-ya, why are you shouting—"

"Because this idiot swordsman harmed me!" Now that she had spectators, Nami was more determined than ever to seek retribution for the injury she had been forced to bear. However, the very person who had distracted her from Zoro was the perfect target to transfer her anguish to.

Smirking to himself, the first mate reminded the navigator, "Oi, if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have switched bodies in the first place." The heavy thumb he tossed in Law's direction was unconcerned with the weighty insult it carried with it.

Neither was Nami's fist, when it managed to land a second hit in the very same spot as the first.

"That doesn't matter," declared Nami, "He didn't make you throw my body on the ground!"

"Wait, Zoro…you threw Nami?!" Chopper questioned, sounding absolutely horrified to hear of the violence that he would supposedly use on his fellow nakama.

His patience wearing thin, the swordsman lifted one leg if only to stomp it in an act of definitive defiance, "When that idiot" – he pointed to curly eyebrow, of course – "was in her body!"

The knuckles of those puny, threatening fists cracked above his head.

"And you were injured?" Law asked as if he hadn't witnessed her threatening act. He had very little tolerance for such antics, it would seem, and the most effective end to the disagreement was most likely to treat the reddish mark that had scarcely appeared near the top of her arse' right cheek.

Zoro felt as though Nami had turned into an ass herself, when she pouted and looked down at her backside, mumbling, "It hurts to sit." Apparently, he was worthy of her relentless fury, but the pair of doctors were supposed to pity her even after hearing the striking sound of her punch to his undeserving skull.

"Oh, well you could put some ice on the…a-area." Suggested Chopper, tugging with one of his small hooves on the rim of his hat.

Crossing his arms at the young doctor's side, Law added, "After, you'd want to apply some heat. You need to slowly get the blood circulating again and clear away the blood that's pooled beneath the skin."

To Zoro, it was a simple bruise; as if he hadn't experienced bumps and cuts, scars of the fiercest variety throughout his time as a fledged swordsman. To Nami, a woman who cherished the beauty of her body, an out-of-body injury sounded as if it was the end of her youth, what with the two doctors providing her with helpful tips to heal the tarnished skin. It all sounded ridiculous to him – though the pretty brow boy nearly bowled the two physicians over as he ran off to attain their suggested healing regiments for the spoiled princess - but, he assumed, to each their own.

"Anything else to speed this along?" Nami impatiently interrogated. He wasn't sure if he was the only one to see her do so, but she did slip a hand over the afflicted area, rubbing it gently as if to begin her own informal treatment.

"Hm," Law shut his eyes tightly, pensive for whatever reason, "you could try resting on your stomach for the next few days instead of your back."

"It'll help the bruise if you take any pressure off of it." Nodded Chopper in agreement, much happier to involve himself when he did not need to specifically address the part of Nami's body that they were discussing.

Marginally calmer now, Nami sighed with defeat before accepting the conditions they presented for her speedy recovery. Lazily, Zoro's gaze secretly scrolled over her enormous bust for the second time that day, wondering if the position the human doctor had recommended would be any more comfortable for the voluptuous woman that was his nakama. Now that the matter was settled though, he couldn't help but release a relieving sigh of his own.

That is, until he felt those searing brown eyes glaring down at him.

"Don't think you're out of trouble, Zoro," she warned in a voice only he could hear, "You're not getting away with this."

"Oh YEA—"

"Oh, yeah!" exclaimed Chopper, popping the angry bubble that had begun to form around the longest-standing crew members. As the bickering duo turned to observe him, they couldn't help but notice the speckled hat of Trafalgar Law as it bobbed down the steps, out of sight.

"What?" Nami asked kindly to the youngest of the crew.

"I have something else that might help you!" He cheered, looking just as proud as the witch felt excitement.

Greedily, she questioned, "Oh yeah? What is it?"

"I have the ingredients for a cream I could make. It should speed up your healing" – everything had sounded blissful, perfect even, until the young doctor made sure to say – "and all you would need is for someone to apply it to the affected area."

Maybe it was because of his buried guilt, maybe it was because she had just threatened him – Zoro and Nami immediately looked into each other's eyes. Though the act had been almost reflexive, the moment they realized where their stares had lad, vibrant blushes ran across their faces like a scorching fire.

If only the heat of their embarrassment could have tanned her instead.

Nami refused to stay bashful, and instead grew aggressive as she hit him for the third time, yelling, "You should be so lucky!" Then she stomped away, past the befuddled Chopper who had leapt out of her way, even going as far as to snatch the opposing temperature packets that the blond fool had prepared before marching her way into the Women's Quarters.

And damn him, even as she made her way across the lawn deck and up the stairs that led to her room, Zoro stupidly watched her bruised bottom as she left. That red mark caught his lone, honed eye even from such a distance as if to taunt him for mistakenly behaving carelessly with her body on Punk Hazard. Uncomfortable in his remembrance – he wasn't sure what compelled him to grab her hand anyway! – the disgruntled Zoro crossed his arms and shifted about until he sat comfortably in his chosen resting place, hopeful that he could now rest efficiently without the aggravating Nami near him!

…Tch, like he wanted to rub her anyway.


Author's Note:

Come ooon, I couldn't have been the only one who wanted this conversation (in some form or another) to happen? I've been thinking about this ever since the ZoNa community went crazy when this moment happened in the anime.

There's also some Law and Chopper partnership for you guys to enjoy~

Thank you for reading!