So this one is sort of inspired by a line in the previous one and is probably the most cracky thing I've ever written... I'm sorry if it sucks.

The next one is more serious I promise. Also (as long as the world and my muse behaves) I will have better quality stuff that is not the Side Stories going up next week.

... I still have ideas from like the fourth chapter of Fork in the Road to write into these and instead I'm doing this... someday my brain will behave and focus on the ideas I actually want to write.

Warnings: mpreg; having a literally uncountable number of children (like I said – this is cracky); making a joke about the massacre at the Jedi-school (CRRRAAAACCCKKKK)

Kylo Ren is facing off against his father on the catwalk when the situation suddenly becomes clear to him. The base is under a serious enough threat to warrant moving the children into an escape ship that is to be deployed the second things look remotely dire. The escape ship will be thinly guarded with all the non-necessary troops being repositioned to fight off the attack (and hopefully prevent it from becoming dire). He could take them all out himself but then he as the problem of getting off the planet and would need to get a clean ship quickly without being recognised in order to keep the First Order from simply tracking him down and taking back what Snoke believes to be rightfully his.

Kylo Ren realises the solution to all those problems is standing right in front of him.

"Can they pilot the Falcon?"

"What?" So Kylo can admit the question does come a bit out of nowhere but his father cannot be that stupid.

"Can they," he punctuates that with a head nod towards the girl and the traitor, "pilot the Falcon?"

"She can. Why?"

"Tell them to take it back to the resistance base and follow me."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it." He really doesn't want to explain everything right now. They don't have time to explain everything right now.

There must be something in his face that convinces his father because he yells up at the two to go back to the Falcon and get off the planet.

They of course protest. "I've got Chewie with me, I'll be fine!"

The other two reluctantly agree and disappear.

Kylo leads his father out of the room. Chewie asks whether he should set off the explosions and Han tells him that of course he should, it was what they came there for anyway. Kylo doesn't even flinch as the explosion echoes through the walls. He has a more important task to complete.

The escape shuttle is exactly where he thought it would be (which is good because the explosion is apparently 'dire' enough for the launch sequence to be activated). Killing the two guards is the easiest thing he has ever done in his life. Except maybe killing the pilot.

"Can you fly this thing?" Kylo asks his father despite already knowing the answer.

Han snorts in response before taking over the launch preparations from where the previous pilot left off.

They have been in the air for barely five minutes (and about to break into an argument about whether they should use the guns on the thing to help) when Kylo's second eldest enters the cockpit. She was the second born from his first little and nearly to the point in her training where she is deadly. He doesn't even need to reach out with the Force to know his eldest is a little behind in case she needs back up in becoming deadly.

She assesses the situation and has no idea as to what the correct (Snoke approved) response is. So she asks the person who always gave her the answers she needed.

"Mum? What's going on?"

Han Solo nearly chokes on his own saliva as he turns around to address what he just heard. She is older than he would want a grandchild to be all things considered.

"Just a minor change in plans," Kylo brushes his daughter off easily but his father's burning gaze is harder to shake.

"'Mum'?"

"There may have been something I didn't tell you."

Of course that is when his eldest makes his presence known. "Who are these guys?"

"None of your business."

"Don't tell me-" Han says and Kylo's face apparently tell him. "Oh Force, how many more? Please tell me you know that!"

"I... lost count," Kylo says after a minute and he can hear the shake in his voice. After five pregnancies with five-to-seven children each he really did lose track.

Chewie tells Han to give over the controls while he deals with his 'family' (Kylo is glad his children cannot understand the growls for words). He doesn't bother asking if they should stick around to help, just flies the ship directly off the planet and back the resistance base.

Han takes a calming breath. "Okay, so I'm a grandfather."

"But-" Kylo's daughter goes to ask but is silence by her mother's hand held up. She is too well trained not to follow the unspoken order.

"Are the rest on here too?"

Kylo looks at his son for an answer and gains a (militarily given) affirmative.

"Can I see them?"

"If you want to."

The ship is not large but the children were given a room clearly spate from the rest of it. Kylo is pretty sure they are all there.

"By the Force – were you trying to breed an army?"

"Yes." It is an easy answer for him but it makes his father wince.

"I don't know how I'm telling your mother this."

Again Kylo's second born goes to speak up, again Kylo silences her. He will deal with trying to explain to them why he made the decision he made later.

Right now the ship is landing so his father has to go stop the Resistance from just blowing it (and everyone on it) up.

"Stay," Kylo commands to his children before following his father.

He doesn't follow Han and Chewie out. Stays on board as his father talks down the Resistance's guns, and (apparently) talks Leia aboard alone.

Leia hugs her son tightly the second she sees him.

"There's something else you should see," Han mutters and his voice gives away that it is something bad.

When Leia enters the room of the children there are six blasters pointed at her. Kylo easily disarms his first litter (they are still weaker than him).

Again the confusion as one of them blurting out the word and Leia turns to her son white faced.

"Ben, no..."

He gives her a nod (refusing to let the tears he wants to cry even show) and she reaches to pull him into a(nother) tight hug.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." It had been his decision. Sure Snoke had wanted it but he had left it as Kylo Ren's decision. Kylo Ren was the one that agreed to it.

He realises he just might need Luke's Jedi-school after all (and this time he probably won't massacre the students).