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Goodbye Is Never Forever

Chapter Two: Reuniting

Lawrence, Kansas - 11:32 am

Dean cleared his throat as he knocked on the front door of his home. He wasn't quite sure what possessed him to knock, there was a car parked on the driveway, which clearly gave away that at least someone was home, and, failing that, he had a key to the door in his pocket. Yet, he stood there and he waited, until he heard the shuffling sound of someone leaving the kitchen and heading down the hallway towards the door. He could make out the curled blonde hair through the small, glass panel in the wood, and a smile spread across his face. He had waited a long time for this moment.

The smile on his face quickly became a grin as his mother pulled open the door, and her eyes went wide at the sight of him. For a moment, she had looked as though she were going to say something, maybe to greet whoever it was on the other side of the door, but everything came to a complete stop when her green eyes fell to the man standing before her. She looked as though someone had slapped her in the face.

"Dean?" she breathed out, and a smile spread across her face.

Dean didn't miss how her lip quavered the slightest bit, or how the tears seemed to well up in her eyes. She looked like she wanted to burst into tears. It was as though she was seeing her son for the first time in what felt like forever. For him to be away for so long was hard, but knowing where he was, what he was doing, how dangerous it could be for him, to know that there was always the possibility he wouldn't come home again, it made it so much harder. Spending birthdays without him, Christmas without him, even just having a family dinner without him, it always felt like a part of the family was missing. And having him there before her again, a part of it all didn't feel real. She had prayed every night for him to come home soon, for him to be okay, and there he was. Alive and well, standing on their doorstep.

He didn't respond to her at all for a long moment, he didn't even look as though he had registered her words. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, but nothing left him. The grin on his face only seemed to grow wider.

"Hey, Mom." he eventually replied, his voice seemed quiet and distant from there, like it wasn't him that had said it.

"Dean." Mary looked him up and down slowly, as if to ensure he was really there, and she almost sobbed his name. She stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around him tightly, running her fingertips through the back of his short hair. "We've missed you."

Dean tightened his arms around her middle as he returned her hug, and he smiled to himself. He had missed her more than he had even realised. Being back there, having her hold him, it was surreal. He had imagined it a million times while he had been away, what it would be like to come home, what she would say when she saw him again, and there he was. Home.

"I missed you, too, Mom." he said quietly, pulling back enough to face her. There were tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

"Come inside, honey." she told him, moving aside for him to enter the house.

Dean stepped inside, and she closed the door behind them as she followed. It seemed like a lifetime since he had been there, and something seemed so different. The house usually seemed so busy, so full of life and people, but it was silent. He was so used to coming home and having his mother there cooking dinner, his father coming home from work. His brother would be reading a book somewhere, his sister there to greet him with a sarcastic comment and a smirk, but there was nothing. No one.

"Where is everyone?" he asked, curious.

Mary stepped past him and led the way into the kitchen. "You know Sam isn't here, right?" she asked him, glancing back to ensure he was following. "He's headed up to Stanford to check out his apartment before he starts there."

Dean nodded slowly as he realised, he had honestly forgotten about that. "Yeah, I know, I spoke to him the other day." He smiled a little, sitting down on one of the chairs at the counter. "I can't believe he's going to college. He sounded so excited about it."

"I know." Mary chuckled softly as she leaded against the counter, facing him. "I've never seen him so happy, he can't wait to start. He's worked so hard to get himself there."

Dean could see the pride in her as she spoke about his brother, and it brought a smile to his face. He was proud of him, a small part of him just wished that he had been there. He missed Sam, and he couldn't help feeling a little disappointed that he wasn't there. "What about Dad? And Ali?" he pressed.

"Uh, your Dad's at work, he should be home soon." she said lightly. "And Alison's out. She said she wouldn't be late."

Dean nodded slowly. "How is she?"

"She's alright." Mary said simply, but Dean couldn't help but notice she didn't look at him as she said it. For a second, he could have sworn she looked worried. But, whatever emotion had flashed across her face, it was quickly replaced with a bright smile. "She's doing good. It was hard for her, when you first went away. She misses you, a lot. We all do." Dean nodded, but he said nothing. "But she's so proud of you, Dean, that much I know."

"She still working at that nursing home?" he asked.

Mary nodded. "Yeah, she's still there. She loves it, keeps saying she's going to bring her elderly friends home for dinner." She chuckled. "She's actually been going to a lot of college weekends lately, you know."

Dean raised an eyebrow, that took him by surprise. His sister had never seemed interested in college. Ever. She had always seemed to laugh off the idea. "Really?"

"Yeah, she went over to Illinois a couple weeks ago. She's been down to Mississippi, uh, over to Arizona, up to Montana. She can't decide."

"Huh." Dean thought it over for a moment, he couldn't imagine his sister being interested in college, at all. It just didn't seem like her.

"We were shocked, too." she quipped. "She came home one day and told us, completely out of the blue, but she seems dead set on it."

"Wow." Dean commented. "Good for her."

"Hey, you must be hungry, you want me to fix you something to eat?" Mary asked him.

Dean thought for a moment, but he shook his head. "Uh, no, no, I'm good, thank you." he said. "So, where did you say Ali was?"

"Alison? She went out with some friends, I'm sure she'll be back soon, Dean." But there was a look on her son's face that she recognised, she sighed, defeated, and a fond smile found it's way to her face. "But, of course, you're not going to wait on her, are you?" She reached behind her and picked up a set of car keys, handing them to him. "Go find her, she'll love to see you."

Dean smiled at her. "Thanks, Mom."

Mary nodded, resting her hand to his cheek gently for a moment, as though she was studying him. "I'm so happy you're home, honey."

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "Me, too."


Lawrence, Kansas - 12:49 pm

Dean pulled up the car and glanced out over the field before him. It hadn't taken him long to work out where his sister could be, there were only so many places that kids her age would hang out on a day like that. It was busy, as though all of the kids in town had taken advantage of the weather and headed there. His eyes scanned the crowd, and that was when he saw her. His face broke into a grin at the sight. She stood with another four girls, completely oblivious to the fact her brother was staring at her from across the field.

Even from where he stood, Dean could hear her laugh clearly, and he chuckled to himself at the sound. Alison always seemed so happy, she always seemed to be smiling, no matter what, he had missed that about her. She wore some white jeans, even in the burning sun, and he smiled at the thought. It was so typical for her. She wore a black vest and a sleeveless, denim jacket with it, one that he was pretty sure had sleeves attached to it when he had left. The black sunglasses she wore hid her face, but he didn't miss her bright smile. He couldn't help but notice as he watched her, she was so grown up, she looked so happy right there. Simply standing there and talking to her friends, nothing too exciting, but he could almost feel the energy she had.

Alison always seemed to be so present, with anything. No matter what, she was always right there in the moment. She didn't worry about the future, ever, and a part of him was sure that was why she had never followed in Sam's footsteps and gone to college. She didn't care about the past, once it was over she would barely give it a second thought. She was always just there, happy. And that was something he had always admired about her.

It was at that moment, one of her friends seemed to notice him, standing there and watching her as he leaned against the car. He watched as she said something to the girl standing next to her, and, whatever it was, seemed to take his sister's attention. She glanced back over her shoulder, not looking to be thinking too much into it, and her eyes scanned the crowd. But then she saw him, and she froze. She turned completely, facing him straight on, the smile now gone from her face, and she stared back.

Dean watched as she pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head as he began to walk towards them, and the shock was nothing but evident on her face.

Alison stood there for what seemed like forever, just staring at him, as though her mind couldn't process the sight before her. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open, she looked completely frozen on the spot, as though she couldn't move a muscle, and something about it reminded him of that day fifteen months ago. He stopped walking and grinned at her, eyebrows raised, giving a small shrug, as if to say that the rest was up to her.

Slowly, almost hesitant, Alison began to move. She walked slowly, never blinking, tentative, like she wasn't sure that it was actually happening. She had been through the idea of him coming home a million times in her head, she had waited and waited for the day he would return, and now it was happening, it was as though she wasn't even there. She could feel her legs moving gradually faster, but somehow it didn't seem a reality. She broke into a sprint and ran right at him, and he didn't even have the time to speak before she lunged herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck. The force was enough to knock him back a couple of steps.

Dean laughed, and he brought his arms up to hold her around her middle, just as tightly.

Alison didn't even realise that she was doing it, but Dean felt her hands tighten the grip on the back of his t-shirt. It was as though she was trying to pull him closer, clinging onto him as though a part of her thought that he would disappear again should she let go. She wasn't sure the last time she had felt like that, she was torn between laughing and crying, and, right there, she was doing both at the same time. Everything just seemed better, safer, when Dean was home.

Dean's arms secured around her tighter, firmer, when he felt her shoulders give the smallest shake, and her feet were no longer touching the ground. There was no denying the overwhelming emotion when the softest whimper left her, or when he heard her draw a shaky breath, somehow mixed in with a laugh. Her face buried into the front of his shoulder, but he said nothing as her hands fisted tightly in the material of his t-shirt, unwilling to let go.

It didn't even feel real that he was there, but he was, and that was all that mattered.

Dean was home, and everything seemed okay. For the first time in a long time, since he had gone away, it didn't feel as though there was a piece missing from their family. Things had been different without Dean, somehow the house had suddenly seemed so quiet. There had been no one there for her to bicker with, no one who would have childish arguments with her about nothing. There was no one there to play fight with her when it was raining and they were all stuck in the house. Somehow, even with four of them still living there, it had just been quiet.

Eventually, seeming reluctant, Alison pulled back enough to look up at him, and her feet found the grass beneath her again. There were tears in her eyes, staining her cheeks, though she looked nothing but happy.

"Hey, Kiddo." he grinned. Alison laughed, working to compose herself a little, saying nothing for a moment. Dean rolled his eyes at her and wiped the tears from her face. "My god, you're such a sap. You cry when I leave, you cry when I'm home..."

Alison shook her head. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming home?"

Dean gave a soft shrug and chuckled. "Surprise."

"Surprise?" Alison repeated, shoving him playfully in the chest. "Man, I had a whole welcome home party planned for you. We were gonna have beer pong."

Dean rolled his eyes at her. "Beer pong? Really, Alison?"

"Hey, Dad was all for it." she said, sounding a little offended. "He even said he'd talk Mom into playing."

"Mom?" Dean thought on her words for a moment. "I'm kinda regretting not calling, you know." he muttered, more to himself than to her.

Alison nodded, her face serious. "And so you should be."

Dean scoffed, shaking his head at her, an amused smile on his face. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Well," She shrugged. "Someone had to cover for you while you were away." Her face became a little more serious, and her eyes found his. "I really missed you, Dean."

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "I missed you, too, sis."

Dean opened his mouth to say more, but something caught his attention, and the smile fell from his face, any words in his mind instantly forgotten about. He narrowed his eyes at her, there was a dark bruising down one side of her arm, something that he hadn't noticed until then. It was red and grazed beneath the deep purple shadow there. "What's that?" he asked, genuinely curious, and she didn't miss the note of concern lacing his tone.

But she frowned, unsure what he meant. "What's what?" But she followed his gaze to her arm and realised. "Oh. That."

"Yeah, that." Dean took a hold of her elbow and twisted her arm to get a better look. "Whoa. That's a mess, Ali." He didn't sound impressed, he sounded worried. "What the hell happened?"

Alison shrugged, almost sheepishly. "I fell."

He raised an eyebrow at her, sceptical. "You fell?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "Down the stairs. Tripped on my laces."

Dean continued to frown at her. "Jesus. Must've hurt." he commented. She spoke so casually about it, as though there was nothing at all wrong, and he wanted to believe her, but he wasn't sure that he did. With Alison, a broken arm, a bleeding cut, that was nothing to her, she didn't shed a tear, but the little things, like a grazed knee or a paper cut, that was when she'd complain as though she were dying. It was as though she had something to hide, like she was covering up what had really happened to her.

"I'm fine, Dean." she said simply. "Just clumsy. You know me."

"That's pretty bad for falling down the stairs, Ali." he told her bluntly. "Are you sure that's all it was?"

"Yes," She laughed. "I promise, that's all it was. Stop worrying."

"Hey, I've got fifteen months of worrying to catch up on, cut me some slack." he quipped, nudging her in the arm as they began to walk.

"So," Alison glanced up at him, unsure she even wanted to ask. The thought scared her, but she wanted to understand. "How was it?"

Dean thought over her question for a long moment, contemplating his answer. "Different." he commented. "Not what I expected."

"Huh." She nodded. "Was it hard? I mean, obviously it had to be hard, but...I don't know...I worry about you. You know...you see this stuff on the news and..."

"Hey." Dean shook his head slowly, smiling at her. "It's nothing I couldn't handle, if that's what you mean." But he could tell, she didn't look convinced. "I'm alright over there, Ali, really. You don't have to worry. I'm never not gonna come home, okay? I promised."

Alison nodded. "So, how long are you home?" she asked, almost hesitant.

"Long enough." Dean assured. "You don't need to worry about it."

She sighed. "Dean—"

"Ali." he stopped her. "Really, let's just enjoy it while I am home." He placed an arm around her shoulders and gave her a light squeeze. "C'mon, we'll grab some lunch."

Alison caved, and she nodded in agreement. He was right, he was home, they had to make the most of it. In that moment, it was all that mattered to either of them.

Alison pretended like she wasn't worried about him. She acted as though there was nothing at all weighing on her mind. But, honestly, she was scared. She was afraid of the look she had seen in his face when he had thought she wasn't paying attention. To anyone else it was unnoticeable, but she knew his every expression. Dean looked weary, he looked exhausted, not just physically. Behind the bright smile and the laughter, he looked damaged, like she had never seen him look before. He looked haunted by something, she just didn't know what. She didn't like to imagine the things he had seen while he had been away, she didn't want to. But something had stuck with him. Something had happened. There was so much pain that clearly weighed down on his shoulders, so much life visibly drained out of him. He just didn't look himself. It was only for a split second, but she had seen it. She had picked up on the hurt behind his eyes, lurking in the green depths. And she was terrified of what it was.

Dean pretended like he wasn't worried about his sister. He acted as though there was nothing out of the ordinary about her, but there was. Something was going on with her. He didn't believe for a second that she had tripped on her laces and fallen down the stairs, because that just wasn't something she would do. He wanted to know what had suddenly made her want to up and leave to go to college when she had never once in her life expressed any interest in it before. He wanted to know what was really going on in her head, and why she seemed so reluctant to tell him the truth.

Maybe it was nothing, maybe it was everything, but they both acted as though there was absolutely nothing wrong.

In that moment, Dean was home, and that was all that mattered.