Day 6: Of parameters and variables
In order to successfully perform the given mission, the cell of shinobi was usually formed by different individuals who had skills on various fields, including the ones not directly connected with battle situations only. The chosen shinobi usually complemented each others' skills and were compatible in rank, which did increase the possibility for all of them to come back home alive and well. Sometimes, on the other hand, they were needed to focus on certain areas such as intelligence and infiltration, or searching and destroying, their needed traits then depending on the given order, which was another fact that also guided who were put in the same two or three-man cell.
The facts given, Tsunade had vaguely known what she was dealing with when she had formed her two-man cell, ending with an intriguing mixture of various levels of intelligence, perseverance, impressive observing skills and different temperaments. A rather unfortunate cell with both of its members located in their beds with two medics keeping watch over them. The amber eyes trailed over the latest patient she had saved from his ambivalent chakra system while Neji had summoned Shizune and others to continue her work as she then decided to have a few strong words with her ANBU squad. The faintly glowing map of Iruka's chakra points had vanished when the whole pathway system had been enhanced and stabilized, and the watery liquid had stopped its flowing from inside the bronze-skinned man. Now the chuunin appeared to teeter on the better side of the coin, and Tsunade was slightly pleased to see that Kakashi's situation had stayed unchanged for the time being.
However, that also meant the lack of any improvements in the man's condition as well.
The Hokage left her valuable patients with others and stepped to the eerily silent terrace that glowed dimly in the dark night. She released a quiet, tired sigh and nursed her hurting temples while she took a few, soothing deep breaths of fresh air. It had been roughly eighteen hours since they had taken the brat to the hospital and approximately twelve since the teacher had grumbled down, and with the feeling of a cold dread that had settled in her gut, Tsunade grudgingly acknowledged that they were far from finished with the future difficulties as her self-ordered research mission went forward.
It wasn't the first time she had second-guessed her approach on the particular mission that had been bestowed on two of her most reliable assets. When the outlines were created and the orders were given, she hadn't doubted a second if she had made the right choice on who would perform the task. She did know about the past history of the bickering duo, but also about the surprisingly well-functioning collegial relationship between them, the amiable mood being something that not many noticed beneath their entertainingly explosive communication. A deep frown creased her young features and Konoha's best healer felt her hands clench into tight fists on her side, resisting an urge to split the wall beam next to her figure in two as darker thoughts surfaced in her mind.
Even though her shinobis were considered as her tools, hell, Konoha's tools, she had been determined ever since receiving the responsibilities of the Hokage to do anything in her power to keep them healthy, safe and sane.
A cracked blade became a dangerous burden she didn't want to impose upon her village.
Precisely for that determination she couldn't help but feel extremely pissed as she stepped to the dark yard, her darkened amber eyes scrutinizing the muddy traces of what seemed to be a struggle. She couldn't help but wonder if there was something she was missing with those two men. Something that was connected with their sudden collapses aside the obvious chakra failure. Her sight trailed one particularly deep gutter drawn to the ground, and seeing the other lines circling it she felt a dry smile form on her lips. Judging from the directions and weight of the traces, apparently the brat had had a challenging time with the sensei, who was proving to be an interesting case. Iruka seemed to run his thoughts and acts on much deeper level than it was first anticipated. Not that he ever gave himself away when they worked, but the edge was there, occasionally surfacing beneath the calm mask of a desk chuunin whenever the discussions wandered to the small blonde nuisance who had went off to train with Jiraiya.
On that small thought the painted lips tilted into a pensive line and after a short moment of recalling the past events, the tired woman shook her head.
That wasn't what she had missed. It was something else.
Something that was individually different in those two dimwits who couldn't even properly take care of themselves, which reminded Tsunade to have a talk with both of them after they have pulled through this misfortune. For Kakashi she could understand the man's ignorance towards his well-being, since the jounin hadn't seen himself in any light for a very long time, especially since the Uchiha child left their team. Iruka, on the other hand, was relied on having enough sense in him to think for both of them, him working with kids all day and observing the returning jounins in the mission room, from where they occasionally received a notification or two when the tanned man had suspected not everything to be well with his fellow nin. She didn't expect him to have a blind spot for himself, moreover for Kakashi. Her eyes narrowed and the fair-haired medic crossed her arms over her chest.
Then again, she knew that to be a high possibility.
After all, whatever it was, it was happening inside their bodies, and the blonde woman had lived long enough to know the fundamental factors that were both invigorating and sadly tragic epitomes of the philosophy she had been trained into, just like every shinobi of Konohagakure.
The man's body was as strong as his mind.
Thus, it was just as easy to conceal and break.
An alerted shout caught her attention and she was already on her way back in before they called for her. An aggravated, sharply hissed curse escaped her painted lips as the noises suddenly turned into panicking yells in the room with two of her sharpest blades with their lives on the line.
The wooden beam didn't stand a chance.
"Shizune."
"Yes, Tsunade-sama?"
"Bring me their files." The order was clear.
"...Yes, Hokage-sama."
Tsunade watched as her dark-haired assistant and a close friend bowed curtly before vanishing from sight. She popped a painkiller in her mouth and took a gulp of tea to swallow it down, letting her eyes wander over the tired medic-nins in the bedroom. They had dark rings under their eyes and she could tell some of them had exceeded their normal amounts of chakra they usually used when healing, ending with an almost hollow gaze in their eyes. Nevertheless, all of their focus was still directed at the now sleeping two shinobi, one dark and one pale, who had been keeping them busy for the whole night. Tsunade turned her eyes to greet the first rays of morning sun that dared to sneak inside the room, the tiny line of light seemingly unsure if it was proper to illuminate such a gloomy crowd. Then she swirled the cold green tea in her cup and gave her crew a tired, but hopefully positive smile.
"Good work, everyone. I'll continue from here, so go home now to rest. I need you in good shape in the next week", her smile grew a bit wider at the mixture of disbelief and relief washing over the exhausted faces and slowly, one by one, they thanked their superior and took off to their homes, each of them casting one last look at the still figures they had struggled with the previous agonizing hours.
As the last person closed the front door, Tsunade gave in to her tiredness.
She slid further down the wall she had been sitting against, her eyes ffell closed and the tea cup tilted in her hands, and for a few passing minutes, she concentrated only on her breathing and the dull ache on her temples, counting the beats of her heart while her pulse calmed down while her inhales turned deeper. She had used a lot of her energy, but more than that it was the lack of proper sleep that had her mind turned into lethargic, sluggish mess-
...Katsuyu wouldn't like that pun, she was sure.
Chuckling quietly at her musings, she swigged down the rest of her tea, then snuggled more comfortably against the wall and gave a yawn before directing a tired glare at the sleeping forms before her. After the night's rather unexpected escapades and the narrow escapes from death or worse for both the healers and the healed, she was certain that the participated medics had indeed learned some new aspects on their profession. Even Tsunade herself had been surprised more than once over the long night. The memory of the last incident before dawn made a tiny smile form on her ever more so yawning lips.
This certainly was a peculiar mission.
Shizune found her fast asleep fifteen minutes later.
"That hit the spot. Thank you, Shizune."
"You're welcome, Tsunade-sama", Shizune smiled and finished calmly her own meal, comfortable silence settling between the two women. Tsunade took one of the manila folders the younger woman had brought earlier and flipped through the well-worn pages. Shizune observed her doings discreetly over the lunch she had set for them in the quiet bedroom. It seemed that the older kunoichi had spotted something concerning the recent events. "What is it that you're searching for, Tsunade-sama?"
Tsunade glanced at the younger jounin over the folder and then turned to look at their patients. "I wonder...what was it that Iruka said he had spotted when Kakashi had dived head-first to the ground?"
Shizune munched on the last bite of her lunch and Tsunade could see the woman go through her mind for the answer her leader needed. Ever so diligent and well-organized, no wonder why the woman was so frustrated with her slacking on the paperwork. "First it was the glowing blue spot on Kakashi-san's chest, and then Iruka-san said that he could also hear a faint buzzing sound surround Kakashi-san. Like electricity." Shizune saw the red lips pull into a wry smile over her words, making her frown in question. The Hokage was onto something, and the aide had a feeling she was only needed to confirm the suspicions that had already formed in the woman's mind.
Tsunade gave a lighter sigh and smiled a bit brighter. This may be what she missed. All she needed was the men awake and answering her questions.
"..Well. The things you learn-" suddenly Tsunade's eyes narrowed and she closed the folder sharply, her amber eyes trained on Kakashi's immobile form. Shizune followed her gaze and for a passing, frustrated moment she suspected yet another hellish seizure, the younger woman not sure if their drained energy was enough for handling one more. Or two in the worst case scenario.
The sharp, hissed cuss on her left was all the clue she got.
There were, in Kakashi's well-argued opinion, different kinds of silence.
Some of them had the nature of contentment, like the ones after an accomplished mission or a good meal, some carried a sliver of anticipation in them like the ones that usually took over the mission room when he harassed the particular honey-toned tyrant on the man's shift, and some were merely a sign of nothing significant going on at that moment, mostly meaning the maniac in green having been sent off on a mission, which usually gave enough reason to immerse oneself in good hours spent with adult literature.
Some types of silence, however, had a nature that made his neck prickle. The nature of an unpleasant, often ridiculously dangerous occurrence which was either about to happen or had just recently happened. An eerie type of silence which had become close to serving as the seventh sense for all jounin and ANBU members and, without a doubt, for all the ninja academy teachers as well.
For a moment he considered if opening his eye was worth risking his ass.
The fleeting thought made him realize his physical condition, which wasn't one to feel proud of in his opinion. His mind was a mess, his eyelids felt being swollen twice their size and it seemed that the bastard son of the mother of all headaches was playing drums with the both sides of his head. His legs and arms felt numb and heavy as lead weights and he wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to know what had managed to crawl under his mask and have an orgy on his tongue and rub itself against his tonsils. That and the ominous killing intent radiating closer than a feet away from his face was putting the wages quite well against the action of opening his eye, which had started to throb very irritatingly.
The only comforts he did manage to gather was that he was in a familiar bed and the growling voice didn't belong to the vastly feared tanned spawn of deranged demons. Then again, when he did recollect whom the now gritting teeth actually belonged to, he became also highly aware of the fist that was already sent to his direction.
Splendid.
Pulling out every ounce of self-preservation skills he was sure to harbor somewhere, Kakashi dove to the right, barely escaping from the blow that landed squarely in the center of his pillow, the power behind the impact making the seams break and thus creating a rather impressive feathery cloud scattering around the room. The now wide awake copy-nin crept further away from the assailant who he sadly knew all too well to really even think he would have a chance to run away from. Amidst the commotion his sight fell to the right on a form of another fairly familiar person, and for some reason his focus wasn't any longer on the outraged Hokage but the sickeningly still figure of the usually very lively chuunin teacher. Then his ears caught on the cursing voice close to him and he turned his gray eye to look at the furious blonde woman, who, as his fuzzy brain pointed out, was someone to better pay more attention to instead of ogling an unconscious tanned man. If his concern was visible and that was the reason for her to stop ranting about 'wankers that shouldn't be jounins', he wasn't going to wallow on that. "What happened here?"
Tsunade snapped her mouth shut, closed her eyes with a frustrated sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose, apparently to calm herself down before she would do something to regret later on. Then she glanced under her brows at Shizune who nodded and left to the kitchen, although not without giving Kakashi a slightly unpleased look as well.
What has he done now?
"..Not even a minute awake and already asking questions. Get back to your bed, brat, before I have to drag you under the covers. You may not be fully recovered and as fun as it might be, I'm not in the mood of picking up your body parts from the floor any more than I already had", Tsunade grunted and wiped the floating feathers both from the bed and her coat before she sat back and observed as Kakashi slowly crawled his way back towards his bed, the man looking still weak and shaken. After the silver-haired nin had settled back under his blanket, save for the annihilated pillow, she saw him send a passing look at the younger man who seemed to have stayed unfazed despite all the loud noises around him. From the tiniest look of worry that passed in the gray eye, Tsunade could guess that the combination of vociferous cacophony and calm Iruka-sensei wasn't the most plausible scenario in the jounin's mind. That and the given look was carrying a very familiar undertone she had already witnessed earlier, if on an other person.
"He's fine, if that's what you're wondering. Well, in better shape than a few hours ago, to be more precise", Tsunade said quietly and answered the inquiring look in the narrow dark eye with her amber eyes.
"...What happened?" As much as Kakashi hated to sound like a broken record, he was fairly sure that to be the only question he had enough information to form. His thought was confirmed with the wondering look he received from the blonde woman.
"What can you remember?" The question was quiet but the intention behind it spoke volumes.
Kakashi fell silent and turned to look at the light ceiling, noticing now the sounds Shizune was making from the kitchen. He also noticed the unnervingly quiet and raspy breathing of the brown-haired chuunin a few feet away from him. "..Not much, unfortunately. We had breakfast. Sensei lost in rock-paper-scissors so he did the dishes. Then it all went black." He frowned. "No. Not black. Bright blue."
"Bright blue you say?" The keen interest was obvious in the woman's voice.
"Yes", Kakashi nodded. Then he turned to face the now very silent Hokage next to him. "And the constant chirping was honestly getting very badly on my nerves."
The amused snort hadn't been on his list of possible reactions from their Hokage. "I see."
"See what, Tsunade-sama?" Kakashi could have raised his eyebrow if he felt like doing it, but he decided to go for the lazy gaze he knew all too well to piss off many of his co-workers, Hokage included. Maybe he could irritate the wanted information out of her. Unfortunately, Tsunade waved her hand dismissively at his question, gaining a small annoyed frown from the pale jounin, and decided to wait until the chuunin had woken up as well in order to probe the spoken question.
If she had understood things correctly, then it was getting a bit clearer on what was happening with her shinobi.
"What else do you remember?" The amber eyes looked over him in a calculating manner and Kakashi wasn't so sure how he should respond to that look. His medical history was quite a tale to be told to the later generations, as well provided very informative lecture material for the new medics in training, and he was reluctant to think that they had yet another dozen pages to add to that neverending story of misfortunes.
In order to focus back on track, the copy-nin closed his eye, thinking back the previous moments. "I'm afraid there's nothing else to add, Tsunade-sama. But..why's Iruka-sensei knocked out as well?" With that he gave another unsure glance at the chuunin. He couldn't have attacked the man? Could he? He had heard about some jounins doing the unthinkable during their blackouts, but in those cases it was usually a result of a mental breakdown.
He certainly hoped his porn wasn't anywhere near the equation.
"You both collapsed due to your pathways kicking the bucket, so to speak. Iruka summoned us here and we took you to the hospital where we pulled you together before bringing you back here to rest, and then Iruka, who supposedly thought it unfair for you to be the only one to have some slack, went down as well. Which reminds me.." A firm fist slammed next to Kakashi's head and the once again peeved Hokage leaned a bit closer to the jounin who was fervently thinking back if they had done something to set her off so badly again. "...When has ANBU been adequate enough to act as the supervisor of your health, hmm?"
Blinking a few times at the woman's words, Kakashi felt the cold sweat push down his covered neck. The ANBU? What did she-
...Ah.
He'll kill that damn kohai. Although, the dark glare set upon him did put a damper on his thoughts of living that long to do that.
Never had he been so grateful for Iruka to have the perfect timing in everything.
A suffering groan snatched Tsunade's immediate attention and the planned homicides were forgotten for the time being as the medic shifted her eyes to watch the awakening man on the other bed, meanwhile giving Kakashi hope to form his plans to escape. As if sensing the older nin's intentions, Tsunade casually grabbed a firm hold on his shoulder, thus effectively pinning him in place and ignoring the pitiful whine from the man. She wasn't through with him, nor had she any thoughts of letting the now groggily blinking chuunin go with any lesser punishment for hindering essential information from her. She had just been given a chance to give them a slap of a lifetime and she wouldn't give it up at any cost. They owed it to her and her aids.
"..Where..what happened..?" Painstakingly slowly, Iruka propped himself on a shaky elbow and rubbed his eyes which felt heavier than in ages, the eyelids being very uncooperative for staying up by his will and his chest burned dully, as if he'd been coughing up his lungs for the last ten hours or so. Even his throat felt raspy and torn, which did little to make his already ill mood any better. Then the still unfocused, dark brown eyes landed on the two shadows in the same room and Iruka gave another groan as the damn eyes felt obliged to make it impossible to focus on anything. "...Damn it..Kakashi-san? ...Are you there...?"
"I'm here, sensei." Despite his earlier worry over the other man, Kakashi felt a playful smile tilt his lips at the disoriented chuunin. Iruka's hair was a tangled mess at the back of the man's head and the dark eyes stared right at him, all bleary and confused. "I'm the more handsome blur on the right, in case you're not sure."
Ah, there was the missing blush.
"...Piss off, will you."
...And there came the rest.
Shizune tapped the pen against the clipboard she had resting on her lap, the few papers already filled with detailed information on the past occurrences. The dark eyes followed the discussion between their Hokage and the two recovering nins, the men looking seemingly better after getting some edible and drinkable substances in them. The pen was lifted and scraped the paper again, the valuable words molding into valid sentences and further into interesting descriptions to be examined more closely in the future.
"..Why would our elemental base react to this? It's understandable for chakra to cause problems, but aren't the elements supposed to be the most stable foundation for a shinobi?" Iruka felt dumbfounded beyond comprehension and the tanned chuunin stared at the busty Hokage over his beloved tea cup as the man sat on his futon. This mission was proving his teachings wrong with a whole new variety of things he had to study more into once he got back home, and even though he wasn't all happy to endanger his own well-being for correcting some facts on their physiology, the thought of providing accurate knowledge for his students did miracles on his current motivation towards their mission. Others' opinions be damned, he was a teacher to the bone.
"We're astonished as well, sensei. But that's how it seems to be at the moment. I also doubted if that really was what had affected you beside the other systems going down before I read your files", Tsunade said with a purse of her lips. "Also based on what you both have just told me, and considering the things that happened when we healed you, I could fairly well confirm that, for a reason yet unknown, your elements are breaking free from your control."
"And how do you know when an element tries to get loose, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi laid on his bed with arms behind his head, turning his eye from its previous spot on the ceiling to face the pensive woman. This part was poking his interest much more than the everyday lecture about his chakra misuse, which had been the most discussed topic during the years of his constant hospitalization because of the damned red eyeball.
Tsunade pointed at the pale man with a slightly accusing finger, and they could all see the blazing, miffed look in her eyes. "For one, you tried to electrify both yourself and two of my medics at least three times. Kami knows why, but you did enlighten that part when you mentioned the irritating chirping, which could only refer to your raikiri. In other words, it was your lightning that tried to fry up your intestines as well my crew. As for you", Tsunade turned her glare at Iruka who gulped at the stern look of the amber eyes, "our sensei here thought it immensely funny to either try and drown himself or spill water all around the room whenever his body became active [1]. With that over-eager imitation of a waterfall combined to a simultaneous pulse of electricity I'm actually surprised to see this house still in one piece. Not to mention the limbs and the central nerve system of the very unfortunate medic who was caught between you two idiots when it happened the first time." Tsunade had a hard time to conceal her sadistic smirk as the looks of her favorite pair turned into the ones of being utterly sorry for all that had happened to their colleagues. Undoubtedly the men were able to picture the rather humiliating events in their minds, if Iruka's creeping blush of embarrassment was anything to go by, and seeing the infuriatingly lazy gaze of Kakashi turn into one of miserable shame did brighten up her mood for the shitty night's worth.
What pleased her the most was that she had more coming.
"...Furthermore", and now she was highly aware of her lecherous smirk that seemed to make even the everlasting tan on Iruka's face to disappear, "if what happened the last few times you two gave us double trouble was possible to be applied for others, then we might have also found a very...exclusive way to expand our knowledge on one very specific medicine."
Shizune was blushing furiously at this point, her pen wavering over the paper as if doubting if it would be proper to continue the data gathering. Noticing the assistant's reaction, Iruka and Kakashi shared an equally uncomfortable look, the men undoubtedly debating between each other if it would be wise to let the broadly grinning sannin in question elaborate her implications. After the brief exchange of looks, Iruka hated to realize him to be chosen for the thankless job of asking what the woman was baiting them for.
"...What..medicine..exactly, Hokage-sama..?" Iruka swallowed thickly at the flash of their leader's eyes. He knew that look. It was one of those gleams his students always had when they had thought up yet another 'genius' thing to make his day shittier than it had already been. The one-eyed imbecile had better compensate him well for this.
"Why, the various forms of viagra of course, Iruka-kun", came the smooth reply.
Some types of silence, in Kakashi's all the while growing list, were the ones one experienced just before the storm broke.
"..The WHAT?!" Iruka's cheeks exploded bright red and for a moment the other occupants in the room wondered if the now beetroot-red teacher would faint due to the abruptly unbalanced blood circulation, whereas Kakashi's eye had snapped open and attentive, bordering on the lines of very uncomfortable shock and mild interest, as if the man couldn't decide whether to make himself deaf with an accurate lightning bolt or to patiently hear the rest.
"You heard me, sensei", Tsunade chuckled at the absolute look of mortification passing the astoundingly red features of the chuunin. She would have all the fun she wanted with this. "You see, we learned that when the elements of two persons mingle without the control of a cast jutsu that would give them the wanted form and dynamics, even for the briefest times, the result is the increasing of one's libido. Although I do feel that we need to study that phenomenon a bit more, since it might also be a very personally projected reaction between individuals. But, what made the whole thing even more interesting wasn't the act itself, but the rather..selective nature of it, which we witnessed the most exceptional way", the busty woman purred and directed her eyes towards Iruka who now seemed to contemplate the challenge of scorching himself to death with his lukewarm tea. Kakashi had sat up completely and directed a keen look at the very much blushing Shizune who gave Tsunade pleading looks of letting her leave the room before all hell broke loose. Not that she was given that luxury, as her superior's smile radiated clear enjoyment over their situation. Tsunade was hell-bent on getting her money's worth back from the pained struggles the two men had put her through, and she seemed inclined to take everyone else down with her.
"...It was only Iruka-sensei who got the reaction."
As Kakashi later added on his list, some silences appeared to have a nature of inevitable doom in them.
Even the daylight itself cowered from the silent chuunin.
"...You mean to tell me..with all due respect, Tsunade-sama...that..I...on electricity?" The shell-shocked features were a new addition for Kakashi's archives of the teacher's many faces, but for what he could tell when reflecting his own facial muscles with the tanned, well, crimson ones, his own masked expression wasn't far behind resembling the chuunin's.
"If you mean to say 'erection' then yes, you did have one, sensei", Tsunade countered calmly and then pensively scratched her chin. "Well, several, in fact-"
"SEVERAL?!"
"...Exactly how many, Tsunade-sama?"
"I lost the count after four...any numbers to throw, Shizune?" Tsunade looked over to her assistant. Shizune seemed to have stopped moving altogether, and if the things were to continue at their current direction, she was undoubtedly in a need of a handkerchief any minute.
"Well, never mind, the point is that he got them and you didn't, brat. I'm curious to know why."
"Maa, were they at least good ones? I have a reputation to maintain-"
"Could you two please stop discussing about my accidental hard-ons?!"
"Now, now, Iruka-kun. Don't be so bashful. After all, every professional shinobi need to know just how big and treacherous opponent they're facing."
"Or nonexistent and harmless."
Any other time Tsunade would have been immensely proud of her chuunin who could single-handedly outrank an elite jounin, but as she and Shizune both dislodged the tanned fingers from strangling the pale throat and forced the swinging fists back and away from the masked face, she now understood why others had so heavily questioned her decision for the shinobi best suited for the research mission.
The well-manicured hands pulled back from two well-trained chests and Tsunade gave a pleased hum at the new seals embedding in them.
"...Now it should be sufficient, but let me know if any of the previous symptoms come back and we'll have another look at you", Tsunade said with a smile as she watched the faint blue glows of the seals settle inside the two shinobi sitting in front of her. "If it feels too much then tell that as well, since we still need to keep this research in reliable condition in order to use the information later on." She stood up from the floor and stretched her sore muscles, already planning on soaking in a nice, long hot bath after she got back to her quarters. Never mind looking younger than her age, she felt more than justified to act like an old hag from time to time when it suited her goals.
"...We will, Hokage-sama", Iruka muttered with a scowl and watched as the light died out on his chest and the familiar feeling of heavier muscles crept over his body. His muscles didn't ache as much than before, but the familiar feeling of them being used in harsher ways than usual was still there. That and the subtle tingling of new chakra flowing through him was an interesting sensation to say the least.
"Do we still focus on taijutsu, though?" Kakashi asked and nodded his thanks at Shizune who finished up healing his left cheek. Even while recovering, Iruka's fists and fury were clearly not to be underestimated.
"That would be the wisest, since offering too many factors to your fighting might also create a false effect on your development. It would be the best if you two would reflect your matches even more closely than before and focus better on the mandatory stretches." The blond woman nodded at the copy-nin and then her eyes lightened up as she remembered something. "Ah, that reminds me, have you tried out the massage oil I sent you the other day?"
Kakashi wasn't really sure how much more maiming a recently healed body could actually take.
Still, he shook his head in answer all the same and resigned himself for the yelling of the century, as he could sense the tensing on the chuunin next to him. Despite knowing that in most cases he was right no matter how things were viewed, the silver-haired jounin became grudgingly conscious that their earlier brainstorming over the existence of the tiny oily substance wasn't going to get an understanding response from the other party.
The rising anger didn't even bother to stay hidden in the woman's voice. "Care to explain why?"
For her small surprise, it appears that the over twenty-year-old professional killers could quite easily resemble two fearful three-year-olds.
"..We, erm, saw that the stretches were sufficient enough, Hoka-" Iruka's voice died out at the furious look directed at him. Damn them and their naive thoughts of getting away with their plan. He felt like the eight-year-old he was when he was caught pranking for the first and the last time by the Sandaime Hokage. He couldn't sit properly for a week after that, and not that others ever needed to know, his left ass cheek still gave a dully throbbing ghost of the once stinging pain every time he visited the old man's grave. For some reason, the ache was back as he stared at the seething Godaime just a couple of feet away from him and the surprisingly silent genius bastard.
"If I may remind you, Iruka-sensei, those seals in that book are made to match your needs and the needs of this mission you're trusted to complete without any further complications nor disobedience towards my orders. Should either one of you fail to do so, you'll answer for your actions directly to me, the following violent punishment included. Do you understand me, shinobi?"
The hastily nodded respond from both men did lessen her urge to slap them to the next month.
Except.
A sharp slap sent Iruka tumbling on his side to the futon and Kakashi jumped to the side to avoid being hit by the falling man. He saw the utterly aghast look in the dark eyes and looked inquiringly up at their Hokage who crossed her hands under her ample cleavage. "That was just the footnote, sensei. I did have a word with the ANBU who neglected to inform me about your previous collapse and trust me, he'll think twice before doing that again. I suggest you do the same." Then the woman turned on her heels and nodded at Shizune who bowed lightly at the men before teleporting away. Tsunade sighed and then cast a last look at the duo who flinched a bit back from the woman.
"I'll be off now, since the other things in the village need my attention as well. I'd advice you to rest for the day and then proceed with your training tomorrow. I'll come and check on you as soon as I can. Meanwhile, carry on with your mission." She stopped forming her seals and gave a bright grin at the men. "And Hatake, take separate shower turns for a couple of days, we don't want any repetition of the previous night. Oh, and Iruka-kun, watch out for any thunder, will you." Her smirk vanished from sight as she completed the seals and disappeared.
It took them a while to understand that they were no longer in direct physical danger, and both the jounin and the chuunin slowly released the breaths they had been holding. Iruka groaned and rolled on his back on the futon, the teacher rubbing tentatively his painfully throbbing cheek. That punch was definitely going to leave a mark. "Oh, hell. For a moment I thought we were done for."
Kakashi chuckled and laid down next to the other man, looking lazily up at the ceiling once again. "Same here, sensei. You almost were, though."
Iruka gave a heavy sigh, which turned into a large yawn stretching his jaws. "True, but it's good to know that the stupid ANBU got his share as well. It doesn't pay off to trust those guys, apparently."
"Well, I wouldn't say that. You seem to trust me well enough, sensei", replied the equally tired yet amused drawl next to his ear.
"Sure. Having an annual ulcer is always fun", Iruka slurred with a lazy chuckle at the silver-haired nin's mocking growl. His body felt increasingly heavy and unwilling to move even an inch, apparently the strain their systems had gone through was more than they were capable of working with without the proper amount of sleep. "..I think it would be the best if we got some sleep now that things seem to have settled...Get off my bed, Kakashi-san."
Only light snoring met his sleepily whispered words.
[1] I tried to validate the fact that Iruka-sensei's element truly is water rather than just an invention made by the implications of his name, but as the lacking facts had it, I settled for the watery chuunin, even though it might be wrong. So let's just enjoy the ride, neh?
