Author's note: Have I told you that I now have a beta? She's awesome and fast as lightning. Thank you, UntilNeverDawns. So that means you have to put up with less spelling and grammar atrocities committed by yours truly. Great, huh?
As we're 13 chapters in, I feel the need to mention again that I still don't own anything concerning the trademark WWE. Please don't sue.
Nina was lying in her bed, sprawled out on top of it face first. She was fully clothed and her head was turned to the side. Soft snores escaped her mouth with every intake and exhale of breath. Her cellphone started buzzing in the back pocket of her jeans. She slowly started to come to. Her left leg began to twitch, her face contorting in a grimace. She scratched her nose. The phone continued to ring.
She rolled on her back with a groan. Her head hurt, but not from being hungover, she was old enough to know when to stop drinking in order to avoid the negative side effects of alcohol. It hurt because she had bumped her head last night. She couldn't remember when or where, but when she rubbed her fingers over one particular spot at back of her head, it hurt.
Apart from the feelings of discomfort and pain, the cellphone was becoming an increasing nuisance. She pulled it out of her pocket, her eyes still closed, and tiredly murmured her name into it.
"Hey, sis," the far too cheerful voice of her brother greeted her.
At this point of the conversation she should have already been suspicious, because her brother only faked cheerfulness whenever he was in some kind of trouble. In her current state however, she was too tired to notice.
"Timmy...," her voice sounded muffled against the pillow. "It's too early..."
"It's ten thirty in the morning," he chuckled. "Shouldn't you be at work already?"
"I've got a couple of days off," she told him rolling on her back. "What's your excuse? Shouldn't you be at university or something?" Nina let out a yawn and ran her hand through her messy hair.
"Nah, I'd rather sleep in," he chuckled.
Nina sighed. The sound communicated all the exasperation she felt in dealing with her younger brother. He was the one who always got to break the rules and only got slapped on the wrist because he was the-oh-so-charming second born while she had had to fight for every single one of those liberties he enjoyed now.
Tim liked to enjoy life. She had once likened him to the decadent, hedonistic robot from Futurama who liked to eat grapes all day and got carried around on a divan bed. Tim wasn't all that bad, actually he was rather smart, but he easily got distracted. By life in general, parties, girls...
"So what have you done this time?" she finally asked the inevitable question, waiting for his answer with bated breath and a slight headache.
"Why do you always have to be so damn distrustful? Can't I just give my big sister a call, because I miss her?"
"No," she answered dryly. Nina wasn't in the mood for mind games right now. "Experience proves you're usually in some kind of trouble when you do..."
"Ha! I bet you can't even name one single incident..."
She interrupted him. "How about when you kidnapped the faculty mascot and I had to drive over to university and work my charms on the dean, so he wouldn't call the cops..." There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. She continued to speak before he could even get the first word of protest out. "Or the time when your ex threw you out of her apartment in the middle of the night? Who came to get you when you were hiding out in the bushes in your underwear like some pathetic little squirrel, huh?"
"Alright, alright, you're the best big sister ever," Timmy tried to appease her.
"Yeah, yeah, stop sucking up to me. Spill!"
There was a knock at her hotel door. She abruptly sat up in bed. To her surprise her head wasn't even spinning. Barefoot she padded towards the door while she waited for her brother to brighten her day with his newest misdeed.
"I might have decided to...," there was a moment of hesitation on the other end of the line. Before her mind's eye Nina could see Tim biting his bottom lip like he used to when he was insecure about something as a kid.
"Out with it!" She insisted as she peered through the spy hole of the door. Sure enough there was Stephen standing outside her door. Nina let out a groan. It was still too early in their relationship for him see her in that state. She checked her appearance in the mirror that was hanging on the wall opposite of her. Her hair was a mess, the mascara she had worn yesterday was smudged because she had rubbed her eyes and had inadvertently distributed some of it under them. Yes, it was just like she had expected. She looked like death warmed over. She let out another sound of displeasure.
"Are you okay there?" Tim asked dutifully. His question was followed by another knock.
She knew Stephen well enough already to be aware of the fact that it would be a good idea to open the door in the next couple of seconds. He wouldn't just go away. In the worst case scenario, if he worried too much and wouldn't get any sign of life from her, he wouldn't hesitate to kick down the door.
"I'm peachy. Just fine. Why'd you ask?"
Nina tried to pat down her hair and wipe away the mascara under her eyes
"Cause you sound like you're pissed off or something...," Tim observed.
"Oh, really? Whatever gave you that idea?" she hissed into the phone and opened the door just enough to briefly stick her head out. Her hand covered the mouthpiece of the phone as she addressed a bewildered looking Irishman with a fake grin and the following words. "Hi, I'm fine. See you later."
She was about to close the door in his face. It was not out of rudeness, she just had the oddest premonition that Tim was about to reveal some deep, dark secret to her. Unfortunately Stephen's reflexes were quicker than hers. He got his left foot in the door, gently ushered her back in the room and stepped inside.
"Shit!" she swore. Out from underneath her hand she could hear Tim's muffled voice. She pressed the phone back against her ear with an eye roll. Had it not been for her thrice damned brother, she would have handled the situation better. "What is it?" she snarled into the cellphone.
Tim seemed to figure she couldn't get any madder than this so he finally dropped the bomb on her. "I've dropped out of university."
Her voice was eerily calm when she spoke again. Because he could see her face, Stephen was able to tell it was the calm before the proverbial storm. He took a step closer.
"Sorry, but can you please repeat that? I must have misheard...," she held out her hand admonishingly, telling Stephen without any words not to come closer. "Have you just told me you dropped out of university?!" Her shrill voice doubled over when she asked that particular question. "Have you lost your fucking mind, Tim?"
"No need to start screaming..."
"No need to start screaming?" she echoed, this time trying to keep her voice down. She managed but it only sounded scarier. "If this isn't a reason to start screaming, then I don't know what is..."
"I knew you would take it badly. There's no talking to you when you're like this."
"Timothy Percival Stewart, I swear if you hang up on me now, I'm going to get on the next plane to Hartford and kick your sorry ass all over town...," Nina threatened quite convincingly. Stephen made a face, mentally envisioning the scene.
"You sound just like Mom." That was the lowest blow Tim could have possibly dished out and he was well aware of it, because after having said those words, he immediately hung up. Nina held the cellphone away from her face and looked at the display in utter and complete disbelief. He really had just accused her of sounding like their mother and ended the call. It was not just in her mind.
With a scream of rage she hurled her cellphone at the couch where it left a deep indentation in the soft cushions. Her hands were balled to fists at her sides and had she been the Hulk, she would have probably turned into a green rage monster by now.
Stephen was conflicted whether to find her incredibly hot or extremely scary in that state. The vote was still out on that one when her eyes finally settled on him. She was breathing heavily. He knew how it felt being that angry, so he gave her space and just stood there and waited.
Eventually her breathing slowed down. It happened around the time she started pacing in front of him and running her hands through her hair, muttering to herself quietly. He caught bits and pieces of what she was saying. "If mom and dad find out..." "Is he even aware of what he's doing?" "What hasn't he told me?"
She eventually scurried over to the couch and picked up the cellphone again. Just as soon as she had dialed what he supposed to be her brother's number, she pressed the phone to her ear with an expression on her face that was somewhere between anger and despair. She gave the display another incredulous stare. "He's hung up on me again," he told him, her eyes huge and round in her anger. "Can you believe that? That's just fucking incredible!"
"Nina...," he started. His voice was familiar anchor in the emotional upheaval she felt. She looked at him. The look turned into a stare. She finally blinked as if coming out of a daze.
"I'm sorry," she eventually pressed out, slowly becoming aware of the situation and what it must have looked like to him.
Stephen just shook his head. He doubted he would have reacted any differently if one of his sisters would have presented him with similar news.
"You don't need to apologize. Least of all to me."
"It feels like I have to... It's just that... Argh!" she let out an inarticulate growl. "Next to my mother, my brother has the uncanny ability to get under my skin like no one else... He's just so irritating!" The gesture she made with her hand was supposed to communicate some of that irritation she felt, but is she was unsatisfied with its ability to convey her dismay. "You can't imagine how irritating he is," she sighed.
"I have two younger sisters. Try me. I think I can." He crossed his arms over his chest.
"Really?" She gave him astonished look. "How much younger?"
"One's your age. The other one's 25."
"Wow, growing up with so many women around you must have been difficult. No wonder you are able to put up with me so well..." She threw him a grin for the first time this morning. The grin fell when she caught sight of herself again in the reflecting surface of the TV. "Damn, I look like something the cat has dragged in..."
"Ah, that's guff! You always look fantastic," he said and she couldn't detect any kind of deception behind his words.
"Wow, you must really like me. I do look a mess," she sighed in exasperation and smiled at him.
"You're right. I've taken an odd liking to you," he confirmed with a smirk.
"I'll grab a quick shower if you don't mind. You wanna watch some TV while you're waiting for me? I promise I'll try to look less like the thing from the crypt when I get back."
He smiled at her remark. "Alright."
She was already heading towards the bedroom where she had parked her suitcase and her cosmetics yesterday, when something occurred to her and she headed back to him.
"I'm sorry," she said as she walked back in. He turned to look at her in surprise. His left arm was stretched out over the backrest of the couch. "I'm such an egotistical idiot. I didn't even ask about your back..." Her hand came to rest on his forearm.
"Better. Some of the welts are already starting to fade," he told her.
She smiled at him, pleased to hear that news. Her fingers gently started stroking back and forth on his arm without her noticing. He registered her actions with a smile on his face. Their eyes met and she became aware of what she was doing as well.
"I'll hit the shower," she winked at him and turned around quickly. But not quickly enough. He had already spotted the soft blush on her nose.
He shook his head and began surfing channels in order to focus on anything other than the thought of her standing naked underneath the spray of the shower. His choice fell on a sports channel where they showed a transmission of last night's Champion's League match. Neither of the currently playing soccer teams were one of his favorites, but he could get enthused by the way they executed certain strategic moves or how fast paced their attacks on their opponent's goal were.
He got so engrossed in the game that he only noticed she had returned when he felt her hug him from behind and nuzzle his cheek. The affectionate gesture soon turned into something that made his heart rate speed up. The way her lips closed over his skin, the way her breath caressed it, the little sounds she was making, it fired up his imagination and let him consider forgetting his initial plan of taking her out for breakfast.
He turned and pulled her over the headrest of the sofa onto his lap. Now he was able to kiss her back and so he did. Their kisses were long and lingering and made it difficult for both of them to think straight. He just couldn't help himself. Who was he to resist her when she smelled so nice and kissing her felt so right? Also she was wearing a dress, which surprised him because she usually wasn't the type to wear dresses. It was a pity though, because it suited her quite well. It was classy, not revealing too much cleavage, but it was tight fitting and showed off her legs. Legs which he was able to touch for the first time. His hand was currently resting on her knee and he kept asking himself what she would say if he moved it upwards.
She interrupted that particular line of thought by leaning her forehead against his, trying to catch her breath. "Steve..." The way she said his name in moments like that made him want to let go of all reason and propriety and drag her to the bedroom. He swallowed hard and tried to focus on whatever she would have to say.
"Do you sometimes feel like your head can't keep up with your heart?"
Now what was that supposed to mean? How did she come up with questions like that?
"What do you mean?" he asked her.
She shook herself like one might have to in order to get rid of the dizzying effect of alcohol. "Head and heart is just a fancy way around saying my libido and my brains," she smiled at him.
He smiled back. "Give a fella a second there. I'm still trying to get me brains to function after all that snogging...," he licked his lips. He could still taste her there which was really distracting. It took a bit longer than usual for him to find the right words. "So basically you're saying this is moving too fast?"
She hesitated. It was clear she was conflicted about what to say. He grinned and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "You're just as dazed as I am. I can see we're at least on the same page when it comes to that."
Nina laughed softly. "Yeah, definitely. But I do tend to agree when people say sex complicates matters." She got to her feet and he couldn't help but throw her a questioning glance.
"I can't think properly when I'm that close to you," she admitted with a shy smile, which made a smug smirk appear on his face.
"What are you trying to say?" he asked.
"Do you want the 'normal-people-version' or would you prefer the undiluted truth?" she looked at him expectantly.
"So are you gonna rip out me heart now and dance a little jig on it?" He ran his hand through his hair.
"No," she took a step closer and caressed his cheek in a gesture of reassurance. They locked eyes. Her gaze swept over his features. She took in the serious expression on his face and could hardly stand it. He wasn't supposed to look that serious. No, she could never rip his heart out. How could she? In the brief amount of time they knew each other... How long was that? Two months? Three months? Anyway, however long it had been, in that brief amount of time she had come to crave his company like a drug. Had someone asked her why, she would have had trouble giving one short, coherent answer. Well, she could have perhaps said that she was in love with him. But being in love was not enough in their situation. It wasn't enough when there were jobs on the line, when being with him would mean having a long distance relationship and meeting at different airports all the time. Not to mention all those sleepless nights she would be spending, because his job was that dangerous. Being in love was something elusive. She had been in love a lot of times in her life. This was the head over heels variety that made her pick at food listlessly when he wasn't there. She recognized it quite well. But it was only a cocktail of endorphins and hormones. They needed more.
"I just want us to be sure about this," she paused. He waited patiently for her to continue. When she spoke again, her voice lacked its usual reassurance. Something shy and fragile shone through that tough chick facade she was broadcasting to the world and made him feel a wave of affection for her. "Perhaps you have noticed already, I'm a bit messed up. I get excited over new things and people and sometimes I have trouble figuring out what it is that I feel, whether it's just plain old excitement or something more lasting. With the way things are, we need to make sure it's not like or lust or anything. We need the real deal. After all, this is going to impact both of our lives profoundly."
"Let me get this straight. We're talking about the big L-word here, right?" he smiled at her and she felt immediately reassured by that smile, because it told her, she hadn't gone too far and he was still with her in this.
"The big L-word," she nodded in confirmation.
"You're quite demanding, you know that, right?" he teased her.
"Come on, Farrelly, you don't fool me. You like your challenges cut out for you, don't you? This is just a different sort of game," she sat down opposite of him on edge the coffee table.
Her cellphone was resting next to her on the tabletop and looking at it made her suddenly go all quiet and serious.
"Tim?" he asked simply.
"Yeah," she nodded. "I need to give him a call again. I've got to figure out what happened."
"Maybe you want to try a different approach now. Less reproach, more understanding," he suggested.
His advice gave her pause and made her look at him in wonder. "Since when are you so clever about giving advice on family problems?"
"Since I made the mistake of nagging at me sister which resulted in me having to grovel for half a year to get back into her good graces," he told her with a bitter smirk. Despite that bitterness there was amused expression in his eyes, so she thought it would be alright for her to laugh as well.
"What did you do?"
"I told Sinead her 'then-boyfriend-now-husband' was a complete eejit and she'd better stay away from him."
"Clever move," she praised him, her voice laced with irony.
"Yeah, right? What can I say, luv? That's me, always saying a bunch of bloody smart things." The self-irony in his voice was rather endearing and made her grin as she reached for her cellphone.
She picked it up and dialed. Two long bleeps told her to hold the line. Her grin however faded more and more with each second she spent waiting for Tim to answer the phone. Eventually his voice mail picked up the call. "Just leave a message after the tone," Tim's voice announced and it struck her how ironic that little word 'just' was. It wasn't like she could just blabber away now. She had to weigh her words. She mentally gave herself a gentle nudge forward. Stephen touched her knee and gave it a brief squeeze. 'Come on! You can do it!' the gesture seemed to say.
"Tim? It's me again. Listen, I'm sorry I overreacted earlier, but you caught me at a bad time. It's just that you are my little brother and I worry about you, okay? So please give me a call once you hear this? You know I love you, right? No matter how much of an idiot you are." Stephen threw her a reproachful look. She caught herself. "I'm sorry, that was out of line. Just call me, okay?"
She hung up. "Satisfied?"
He nodded. "Maybe a hint more sincerity," again with the teasing, but instead of hating it in a situation like that, she welcomed it, because it cheered her up. "But yeah, overall a satisfactory performance."
"Gee, thanks, sweetie," she said back. There was a healthy dose of sarcasm in her voice, which he took in stride and with a disarming smile.
"So breakfast?"
"Oh, God! Yes! I'm starved." She shot up from her seat and got her purse.
"I still can't believe you ate four pancakes," he threw her a brief, but rather pointed look before he focused back on driving again.
They were at the airport too quickly, their goodbye-kisses were too short, and the plane ride home was too long.
They were approaching LaGuardia and the aircraft was slowly descending, its belly sinking lower and lower in those dark and heavy rain clouds that covered the area. Her reflection was staring back at her from a windowpane that was beginning to be covered by rain drops. She looked sad. She was sad, sad she had had to leave him already. It was unreasonable to feel that sad because it was not goodbye forever, only until Extreme Rules. She thought of him and his teasing remarks, his blue eyes, his sense of humor, the way he was sometimes oscillating between being a complete macho and a total softie and smiled. Nina slightly banged her head against the windowpane. She knew she wanted to call him once she got off the plane, but first they needed to land.
The man beside her had long since given up trying to make small talk with her and decided that he would be better of sleeping. She had been too distracted to keep up conversation with a stranger. Her thoughts had always strayed back to him and their conversation back at the hotel this morning. She could help but wonder whether what they had was already that "something more" they had talked about.
Now that her mind wasn't clouded by the inevitable attraction she always felt whenever she was near him, it was easier forming coherent thoughts. Those thoughts inevitably centered on a possible future with him. Was she ready for all those complications that being with someone who was constantly on the road entailed? What about the fact that he was famous? Would that complicate matters?
She came to the conclusion that she didn't care. It surprised her. Why the hell didn't she care? She should be worried about that, instead nothing. She didn't care which was kind of upsetting. It surely wasn't for a lack emotional investment. She was all kinds of emotionally invested in this. Then why the hell didn't it matter? Why was the thought of talking to him on the phone later rivaling the intense and joyous anticipation she had felt waiting for Christmas as a child?
She loved him, she concluded. It was the only explanation and yet it was completely unreasonable. What did she know about him? Her mind rattled off a mental list of things. He snored, he liked to tease her, he was a decent singer, a soccer fanatic, he had two younger sisters, he liked to steal food from her plate when he thought she wasn't watching - she chuckled to herself quietly at that - he was clever and handsome and... Well, he was just Stephen to keep it concise and less girly. She loved him. Why else would she keep waxing on about him in her mind like some blithering fool?
The plane landed. The seat belt sign above their heads was switched off. They disembarked the plane and the mass of travelers trotted obediently towards the baggage claim.
Nina still hadn't switched on her phone. She knew once she did, she would call him and tell him. It was bad enough it would have to happen over the phone, but she had no illusions about the fact that she wouldn't be able to keep it bottled up until she saw him next, but she didn't need to make it worse by calling from baggage claim. It just didn't seem right to tell him with all of those other people around.
The way from baggage claim to her car provided her with a little extra time to think this through. But how much rational thinking was one really able to do in a situation like this? Some scientists called love a biologically dictated state of insanity. She tended to agree with them when she wasn't suffering from that particular case of insanity herself. Because let's face it, what she was about to do was insane. Call a man she knew for... How long exactly? Three months? ... and tell him that she loved him? Total insanity! Wasn't there a rule somewhere that said you needed to wait for the man to say it? Ah, screw it! Screw those rules!
She was finally inside her car and switched on her phone. She took a deep breath. Was she really going to do this? Yes! Because there was no time like the present. Missed opportunities were for losers. Her index finger pressed down on his name in the address list. A slight tremor shook her hand when she held the phone to her ear.
"Hello?" The sound of his voice let her pulse spike up. Her throat felt constricted, but she knew now was the time to act, so she forced herself to speak. Life had already taught her enough lessons about missed opportunities and she didn't want this to become another one.
"Steve, it's me," she told him unnecessarily. These days nearly all phones had caller-ID.
"I know," he said and she could hear the amusement in his voice.
"I... I need to tell you something. Can you talk?"
Something about tone of her voice got his immediate attention. "Yeah, I'm in me room," he sounded worried. "Is everything okay?"
She paused, considering his question. "Yes." A couple of awkward seconds passed. "No," she finally said meekly. "I don't know..." She was actually as dejected as she sounded. Whenever words failed her, she felt defeated.
"Are you okay? What's going on?"
Two questions for the price of one. She had to say it now or else she would only make him worry.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be doing this over the phone..."
"What? Breaking up with me already?" He was trying to sell that remark as a joke, but by the way he said it she could tell he was actually concerned about that.
"No, the opposite actually," she said, dodging the real issue like the proper coward she was.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She could hear his frown and envision it before her mind's eye as well.
"I...," she started and paused because she was unsatisfied with the beginning of a sentence. If she were to write a love scene like this, she would need hours, if not days to get the words right. But life was too fast-paced for that. You didn't get to make eloquent declaration, you were lucky if you just got to make them. She sighed. "I realize that you might find this strange and maybe you'll think that I'm some kind of crazy psycho-bitch after this call... I... I," she stuttered, which was pathetic because she hadn't stuttered anymore since she was a shy and awkward teenager. "I love you."
There it was. She had said it. There was an excruciating silence at the other end of the line. Perhaps she shouldn't have sprung it on him like that. It had been a mistake. You just don't go around blurting 'I-love-yous' at people like that, she admonished herself.
She didn't give him a chance to answer; instead she already started to ramble out an apology. "I'm sorry. My timing sucks... I shouldn't have said it now. I should have said it back at the other airport or waited until..."
"Nina...," he interrupted her gently. He sounded amused and exasperated, which was a good sign because he could just as well have sounded pissed off and angry. She continued nevertheless, because if she didn't, she was sure there would be more of that awkward silence she dreaded.
"Just pretend like I haven't said anything...," she said, running her hand through her hair. She leaned back her head against the headrest and looked at the car roof.
"What!? Nina, are you completely off your bloody nut? I can't pretend like you haven't just said that..." Now he did sound kind of pissed off. She braced herself for things to go downhill from that point of their conversation.
"Why? It would make things that much easier..." She was assuming that he didn't share her feelings. If he did, he would have long since said something.
He sighed. It was a long suffering sigh, but the fact that she heard a smile in his voice had her confused. "It wouldn't make things easier. It would in fact be the most stupid idea in the history of stupid ideas." A weak smile appeared on her face at that remark.
"Why?" she asked again, feeling something like hope blossoming up inside her.
She heard him take a deep breath and then he said it. "I love you too."
Her mind congealed in shock and then she felt something like utter and completely stupid, the world-is-a-lovely-ol'-place happiness wash over her.
"That's a relief," she blurted out, which made him chuckle. "But I'm afraid we're doing this all wrong," she smiled. "We were supposed to say that at the other airport."
"Really?" he said. And for once she wished her phone could do video calls, so she could not only hear, but see the smile on his face. "You can always come back here to tell me face to face..."
"God, I'd love to," she sighed. "A bit of kissing might be nice too right about now."
"We'll do that next time, we'll see each other," he reassured her with a laugh.
"What do you call it? Snogging?"
"No, after what we just said to each other calling it snogging would do it justice any more. It would have to be more poetic."
"Softie," she teased him.
"You love me," he told her matter-of-factly.
"I do," she said.
"You're too far away."
"So are you." Her voice was tinged with a regretful undertone.
"Two more weeks," he told her as much as himself.
"That's 14 days until we next see each other." Nina became aware of what she was saying. Seen from the outside, their exchange was so sweet, it was vomit inducing. "Argh! I hate you Farrelly, you've got me sounding like some teenage girl with a crush."
"I think it's rather cute. Just think, I even got you wearing a dress this morning. Next time it'll be something pink," he teased.
"Never," she laughed. "I'd rather die... Besides, I don't think you'd like me in pink."
"I like you in anything," he told her and the remark took away her breath.
"Really?" her voice sounded kind of squeaky in her surprise.
"Really," he confirmed. After a brief pause he continued to speak. "I love you," the timber of his voice made her heart skip a beat. It was clear they were nearing the end of their conversation.
"I love you," she replied, wishing that she could make this conversation last longer. In fact she was wishing for a whole lot of things: that he wasn't so far away right now, that she didn't have to return to work tomorrow and could hop on another plane to see him, that their time together would not always be cut short by their jobs... But there was no use making wishes. Their situation was what it was.
"Have a safe drive home. Call me when you get there," he told her.
"I will," she promised and ended the call with a smile.
