Sonny can feel himself trembling with anger. He feels like his blood is boiling. He can't seem to recall the last time he has felt this angry. This betrayed. He can feel his emotions consuming him. Taking over his body. He is feeling out of control for the second time today. But this time for a very different reason. All Sonny wants to do is scream. Or punch something. He needs some sort of release to get all of this anger out of his system. He picks up the flowers and throws them across the room as he lets out a guttural scream. This provides Sonny with a small amount of catharsis. And the first thing his minds goes to is Will.
Sonny has come to realize that maybe he's been denying his feelings for Will. He keeps trying to convince himself that he felt only a friendship towards him. And he was actually able to fool himself into believing that. Sonny realizes that he wasn't quite as convincing to other people. Namely, Brian and Neil.
Sonny knows that he was doing this for Neil. He chose to be with Neil. And what did Neil do in return? Cheat on him with Will's boyfriend. But Sonny begins second guessing himself. Was this just another one of Neil's games? Did he say this to hurt me? Did he want me to go run to Will with this information? Was Neil telling me the truth? So many things are swimming in Sonny's head and he can't keep things straight. His head is pounding. He is emotionally and physically exhausted from the events of today. And utterly confused on what he should do next.
Sonny knows who he needs to talk to. He needs help clarifying all the thoughts and feelings that are in his head. Someone who can help ground him and help process everything. Sonny grabs his coat and heads out the door, hoping someone can help him solve this crisis.
"Daaaaaddy!" Arianna shrieks as she bounces on the bed.
Will groans, still feeling completely drained from the day. He opens his eyes and sees his daughter's dancing blue eyes and everything just melts away.
"Where Sonny?"
"He had to leave."
"Why?" Arianna asks sadly.
"What are you doing up?" Will asks, avoiding his daughter's question. Then he smiles at his daughter and pulls her into a hug. This sends Ari into a fit of giggles and Will begins to tickle her.
"Daaaaaaddy!" Arianna exclaims with laughter. "Stoooooop."
Will looks into his daughter's eyes, which are full of laughter and joy. He knows this is what happiness feels like. Well, at least contentment, he presumes. Will believes he knows what would make him feel completely fulfilled. He has had fleeting moments of it over the last couple months. And it was in those moments that Will began understand what he has been missing in his life.
Will knows heartache. Loneliness. Detachment. Struggle. But happiness he doesn't really know or understand. Everything in his life has encompassed pain, in one way or another. And regret. And longing. But those feelings went away briefly when Sonny was around. Will struggled with this. He tried to figure out what it was that he was feeling because he wasn't sure what it was. He wasn't sure what it was about Sonny that made his heart race. That made him feel so alive. That made his life have a new meaning. A different meaning.
Arianna gave Will's life meaning, of course. But it was different how he felt about his daughter and how he felt about Sonny. Arianna brought him a joy he never thought he could have. A type of unconditional love that was all-consuming. He was so preoccupied with loving his daughter and protecting her from everything. Especially the step-father that she never should have had. Will knew almost losing Arianna changed everything for him. Seeing her so helpless in that hospital bed killed him. It was that moment that he knew he would sacrifice anything and everything for her. And then Brian came along. This made Will believe that he could have it all. He could have the love of his daughter and also find someone to love. He had thought he found that someone to love him and his daughter in Brian. Someone to take on this packaged deal. And Will felt so lucky that he could have it all, because this was not how his life worked. Will knew he wasn't the type to have the happy ending. So he overlooked things that he probably shouldn't have.
Will had hoped that Brian would love his daughter. He acted like he did at first. Brian would dote on her. Buy her gifts. Spoil her. But the longer they were together, the more that changed. He looked past the fact that his daughter and Gabi weren't Brian's biggest fans. Will knew that with time they would see what he saw. Plus Gabi really wasn't the best judge of character if she was willing to look past all of Nick's transgressions. But Will finally came to see that he was the one that was wrong about Brian. And he has Sonny to thank for that. It was Sonny that made Will see how unhappy he truly was. Because being around Sonny was like nothing he has ever felt. Will wanted to be around Sonny all the time. He found himself making up excuses to see him or talk to him. But a part of him remains in denial about how he really feels. His life with Brian is good. He is content.
"Daaaaaadddddyyyy," Arianna says pulling on Will's shirt, snapping him out of his reverie.
"Yes, baby girl?"
"Huuuuungry!" She says, patting her stomach.
"Well, how about Daddy fixes that?"
Arianna nods her head enthusiastically. Will picks her up and walks into the kitchen.
"Baby girl, what would you like to eat?"
"Ice creeeeam!" Arianna yells out, jubilantly.
Will shakes his head, smiles and says,"Do you want to try that again?"
"Animal crackers?" She asks quietly.
"How about I cut up an apple and we split that with animal crackers?"
Arianna nods her head. Will lifts her into the booster seat, then grabs some animal crackers for her to eat while he cuts up the apple.
"Juice?"
"Apple or orange, sweetie."
"Apple!"
Will goes into the refrigerator to grab the apple juice when he sees a large brown paper bag sitting on the shelf. He doesn't recall putting that in there, so he grabs it with the apple juice. Will grabs one of Ari's sippy cups and fills it with juice. He places the cup in front of his daughter.
"What's dat, daddy?" She asks, pointing to the bag on the counter.
"I don't know, sweetie. Maybe Brian bought something."
"Open!"
Will smiles at his daughter and her curiosity. He knows that she gets that from him. Will brings the bag over to the table, so his daughter can see what it is.
"Cake?" She asks curiously.
Will pulls a pink, square box out of the bag. He knows this can only mean one thing, Brian got him something from his favorite bakery. Will smiles at the thought that Brian may actually be apologizing for today. Will lifts open the top and sees in big blue frosted letters FORGIVE ME.
"Whats dat?" Arianna asks, pointing at the writing.
"It says, forgive me," Will whispers.
"Why?"
"Daddy had a little misunderstanding with Brian today. I guess he is saying sorry."
"Oh. We eat?"
Will smiles at his daughter. "How about we share a small piece?"
"Yaaaaaaay!" Arianna screams excitedly, throwing her hands in the air.
Will can't help but smile at his daughter. Her joy and laughter is infectious to him. No matter what is going on, she can always lighten his mood. Will cuts into the cake and it is not what he expected. Brian always gets vanilla cake with vanilla whipped icing. But this cake was his favorite and Brian always refused to buy it. Will sees that the cake is double chocolate fudge with vanilla icing. And he smiles to himself that Brian would actually get this for him. Will knows that this shows how sorry Brian is and how much he wants to work things out.
Will cuts a small piece of the cake and puts it on a plate for his daughter to have. He knows by giving her some cake that bath time will be coming up very soon. Arianna doesn't even use the spoon that Will set out for her. She digs in with her hands, making a huge mess and Will just sits back to watch her and laugh. It is these moments that he loves and misses the most when she isn't around.
"My faborite," Arianna squeals with a mouthful of cake.
Will wonders if he was wrong about Brian. That maybe his doubts were ill-conceived. That he was just looking for an out. Because if Brian would do something this sweet, maybe he had it all wrong. This is the first time Brian has ever done something like this before, and Will begins to believe that maybe things are changing between them. Maybe things can actually get better. Maybe he is coming around to loving Arianna and him like they deserve to be loved. Maybe his luck really is turning around.
"After we clean you up, how about we go thank Brian for this cake?"
"Have to?" Arianna groans.
"Yes. He got us this cake, so we need to thank him." Will replies sternly.
"Fine. See Sonny?"
"No, sweetie. Sonny is busy."
"No bye."
"You were asleep when he left. You can see him later, sweetie."
"Wanna see now!" Arianna says, defiantly.
Will sighs and says, "Maybe."
