"How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?" – Hamilton on Broadway
March
On Monday evening, Kurt is eating the Oz Garcia delivered meal of Japanese miso soup, salmon and tuna sashimi, and a daikon and carrot salad. The Hamilton soundtrack is playing in the background and Kurt is carefully listening to the words. Blaine managed to get tickets for Saturday night's performance and Kurt is beyond excited to go.
Rachel slides open the loft's door screeching, "Kurt! I got the part! I got the part! I'm going to be Fanny Brice!"
Kurt jumps up to give her a huge hug. "That's great news! I'm so happy for you! When do rehearsals start? When does it open? I want all the deets!"
After they finished jumping and dancing around in a circle, Rachel hangs up her coat and toes off her boots, before joining Kurt at the kitchen table. In the meantime, Kurt has put the kettle on to make her a cup of peppermint tea. Once the drink has been served, Rachel relates the events of her day. "After pushing so hard and visiting the producers at their offices, it was really quite simple. They came to the Starlight Diner and offered me the role. I quit the job immediately and rushed to NYADA. I quit that too."
"What!? You quit NYADA?" Kurt interrupts.
"Yeah, I did. Ms. Tibideaux wasn't very happy about it. She kept going on and on about me needing a foundation, but I think she just wants to have a Broadway star at NYADA."
"Was that the right thing to do? I mean, Rach, what happens if Funny Girl doesn't work out?"
"Of course it's going to work out! I was made for the role!"
Kurt gives Rachel a big smile – after all, he doesn't want to rain on her parade.
On Saturday late afternoon, after returning from his session with Chrystal at the E at Equinox gym, Kurt has a luxurious shower. His muscles feel loose - not achy as they had done when he'd first started going to the gym. He lathers up with his vanilla, rose and sandalwood fragranced body wash, imported from England. After toweling off and putting on his fluffy terrycloth robe, he goes to his partitioned-off bedroom to dress for the evening. Kurt has already planned his outfit for tonight – black tailored slacks that contrast nicely with a teal-colored shirt, opened at the collar to give a peek at the black T-shirt underneath. After dressing, Kurt ties a short red kerchief around his neck and knots it at the front. He then focuses on his hair and instead sculpting it into his usual quiff, he works his hair back to give it a long, wavy look. Cristiano Cora has given him really great tips on how to create a variety of fabulous styles.
Kurt moves to the kitchen and is grateful that Rachel isn't home. He's nervous enough as it is, without her giving pointers on how to behave on his 'not-quite- a-date'. He knows that Blaine's invitation to see Hamilton is motivated by business. Blaine is smart that way - Kurt needs to see the play if he's going to give Vogue the best creative ideas for the June issue. However, no matter how many times Kurt rationalizes tonight in his mind, his heart thinks of it as a date.
After drinking a glass of water, Kurt sits down on the window seat, lost in his thoughts, waiting for Blaine's arrival. When he sees a Mercedes-Benz pull along the curb, he jumps up. In his neighborhood, the sedan is a rare sighting, and Kurt knows it has to be Blaine. Kurt puts on his washed-brown John Varvatos jacket and has one last look at the mirror before the intercom buzzes. "I'll be right down, Blaine."
It's a cool March night, and Kurt can see Blaine shiver as he opens the apartment complex's door. Kurt thinks that Blaine looks stunning in his gray slacks and Hugo Boss wool plaid sports jacket. The whole outfit pops with the the cobalt-blue polo he's wearing underneath. Kurt is surprised that Blaine is clean-shaven and his curls appear more tamed than usual, brushed away from his face. Kurt's gaze is interrupted when Blaine says, "Hurry inside the car. It's freezing out here!"
Blaine opens the back door for Kurt to slide in. He quickly rushes to the other side of the car and when he enters, Blaine blows on his hands in an attempt to warm them up. Kurt impulsively takes Blaine's hands in his own, and rubs them to create some heat. Judging from the smile on Blaine's face, Kurt knows he has done the right thing.
"Directly to the Richard Rodgers Theater?" Bentley asks, hating to interrupt the hand-holding in the backseat of the car. He likes Kurt already – likes the way he's taking care of Blaine, even if it's only of his cold hands.
"Yes," Blaine replies, reluctantly taking his hands away from Kurt's. "Bentley, this is Kurt, who also works for Vogue. He's been helping me out with the June issue."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Bentley says, smiling at Kurt through the rearview mirror.
"Same here," Kurt replies, with a questioning look to Blaine.
"Bentley is my driver, so you'll probably see him a lot. He knows New York City like the back of his hand. Between him and Tina, they make sure I'm where I need to be."
Of course Blaine has his own personal driver. It must be a perk of the job. And Blaine thinks I'm going to see him a lot? Sometimes Kurt has difficulties remembering that the incredibly sweet man sitting beside him is a powerful mover and shaker in the fashion industry.
"So Kurt, the brooch… it's rather unusual," Blaine praises as he glances at the zipper tied in a bow, with silver buttons on the knot.
Kurt preens at the comment. "I made it myself, but it's inspired by a Jill Pineda creation. I think the little row of buttons might work well with the Hamilton theme."
"You're unbelievable, Kurt. I'm so glad I found you," Blaine says sincerely.
Bentley briefly glances in the rearview mirror at Kurt and realizes that he is looking at Blaine's blossoming flower from their conversation last month.
As the car approaches the theater, Blaine quickly sends a text. "Bentley, drop us off in front of the backstage door."
There is a huge throng of fans standing at the front door, with phones held up high. "What's going on?" Kurt asks.
"It's the Ham4Ham preshow performance," Blaine explains. It happens twice a week and fans get something special. It might be a song from the show, a poetry reading, or a silly dance. No two performances are alike, and a variety of people come out to perform. It's aimed at those that can't get tickets, but want to see something."
Bentley pulls along the curb near the backstage door. Blaine immediately jumps out of the car, rushes along to the other side, and opens the door for Kurt.
"I could really get used to your dapper ways," Kurt says, smiling, as he takes Blaine's offered hand.
Once they've waved Bentley goodbye, Blaine keeps a hold of Kurt's hand as they walk towards the backdoor. It's immediately opened by a guard, who gives Blaine a quick glance and a nod, and allows them to enter. They follow the guard along the windy passage ways, until they are in front of a door with a gold 'VIP lounge' plaque. The lounge is small, but comfortable, with a leather sofa and chairs. "A Diet Coke?" Blaine offers as he approaches the small buffet with drinks and canopies.
"Sure. I can't believe that we're backstage. How are we even here?"
Before Blaine can answer, Lin-Manuel Miranda barges in, half-dressed for the performance. "Hey, Blaine. Glad you could make it tonight."
Blaine rushes over to shake his hand, and then goes behind Lin-Manuel to do up the back buttons on his shirt. "Well, thanks for getting me the tickets on such short notice. I'd like to introduce you to Kurt Hummel, who I've told you about."
Lin-Manuel gives Kurt a broad grin and a one-hand wave. "Great to meet you, man. Blaine's told me of your ideas for a Hamilton-inspired photo spread. That's so cool. I can't wait to see it all pulled together." Lin-Manuel turns his head and adds, "Blaine, you forgot to tell me how dishy Kurt is!"
Kurt ducks his head and blushes at the comment.
"Between you and me, Kurt will be Vogue's fresh face in the May issue. Top secret info," Blaine informs.
"My lips are sealed. I've got to get going… I've got a show to get on. Enjoy the performance." Lin-Manuel dashes out of the lounge as quickly as he entered.
I can't believe that I just met Lin-Manuel and didn't even say a word. I stood there like a blushing bride on her wedding night.
"Wow! How do you know Lin-Manuel and when did you discuss me?" Kurt asks.
Blaine smiles, before relating their recent meeting. "I met with Lin-Manuel last Monday to tell him the plans for Vogue's June issue. He was really excited about it and agreed to allow us access to the wardrobe and set departments to throw around ideas. And I might have mentioned you and how I wanted to take you to see the show this weekend."
"You certainly have friends in high places," Kurt replies, in awe of Blaine's business acumen.
An usher arrives and leads them to their seats in the theater – center stage, sixth row, in the orchestra section. There's a buzz in the audience and Kurt can feel himself practically bouncing in his seat. "This is the first time I've been to a Broadway show. I've seen bootleg copies on the Internet, but this is really something special. And these seats are perfect. I can see the entire stage. I might have to pinch myself to make sure this is real. Do you mind if I take a selfie of us? I want to remember this night forever."
After a quick selfie or two are taken, Blaine softly smiles at Kurt and gives his hand a gentle squeeze. It's exactly what Kurt needs to calm down before the performance begins. The lights start to dim and the orchestra begins to play. Kurt is soon transported into another world.
When the curtains close to the last round of thunderous applause, Kurt is standing with a huge smile on his face and his body literally humming. "I've never experienced anything like that! The musical numbers! The set! The acting! The energy! It's made me see hip-hop music in a whole new light!"
Kurt turns to Blaine who gives him a close-lipped smile. His eyes are warm and sparkling with delight.
"You've seen this before, haven't you, Blaine?"
"I saw Hamilton when it was playing off-Broadway and made sure that Vogue published a review. Then, Lin-Manuel sent me tickets to the Broadway opening night as a token of his appreciation."
Blaine shuffles his feet, puts his hands in his pockets and softly adds, "But it felt like a whole new experience, sitting next to you."
The usher that seated them earlier in the evening is now back, and they are soon following her to the backstage door. Fortunately, they have beaten the crowds of fans and Blaine whisks Kurt to the Mercedes-Benz, waiting at the curb.
"Thank god you're here, Bentley. I can already see the fans coming this way. I think we'd better get going quickly."
Bentley pulls the sedan away from the curb and safely drives to the next block. "Where next, Blaine?"
Kurt takes a deep breath before he hears Blaine's reply. He doesn't want the evening to end so soon. He wants to spend more time with Blaine... just a little bit longer.
"Kurt, how about we go for a drink and brainstorm some ideas?" Blaine suggests.
"Sounds perfect to me," Kurt replies with a huge toothy grin.
"There's a jazz club in Greenwich Village that I like. It's pretty low-key, but the music is amazing. I know it's a lot different from the hip-hop we just heard, but we won't be bothered."
"I've never been to a jazz club before in New York… or anywhere for that matter. It's like a big new exciting adventure. I'm so game!"
When they enter the Treble Clef Jazz Club, the hostess immediately comes over and greets them warmly. "Long time no see, Blaine. Marley Rose thought you might be stopping by tonight. Follow me."
Kurt is amazed at just how many people Blaine knows in the city. Sure, Blaine's ten years older, but he's so sophisticated, so cultured, so experienced, so accomplished. Kurt wonders if Blaine has taken Sam here before, but he can't quite see Sam enjoying this kind of club.
As the hostess leads them inside, Blaine places his hand on Kurt's back, guiding him along the way. The gentle press of Blaine's hand makes Kurt tingle inside, and he can feel the warmth radiate along his back. It makes him feel special and really taken care of. They are soon at a table, just off-center at the front of the stage. There's plush half-moon seating and as Kurt sits down, he scooches to the center so that his thighs are almost touching Blaine's.
As Kurt looks around, he can tell that they have the best seat in the house. The club is dark, but the slow-burning candle on the table provides a soft glow and the perfect amount of light. The walls are wood-paneled, with little scratches, and the varnish is fading in places, as a reminder that the club has been around for a while. There are framed photos scattered along the paneling with musicians performing - some famous and some not - and Kurt feels like he has been transported to another New York City altogether. The place is sophisticated, yet cozy, and reminds him of Blaine.
"I'll have a whiskey and soda. Kurt, what will you have?" Blaine asks when the waitress is at their table.
"A soda water with lemon, please," Kurt responds. He doesn't want to remind Blaine that he is too young to order an alcoholic drink, so when the waitress leaves, he adds, "It's my go-to drink when I'm out. It's definitely on the approved list on my diet."
They are silent as the musicians start up with a new song, and the music fills the club with its sounds. As he listens to the music, Kurt thinks that the bass clarinet might be his new favorite instrument. When the song is over, the band announces a break, and soon after, their drinks are served.
"So what's your favorite type of music, Kurt?"
"I really love show tunes, but I also like pop. As you probably know from the photo shoot, Lady Gaga's my absolute favorite."
"Well, my guilty pleasure is Katy Perry," Blaine retorts.
They soon get into a Katy vs Gaga debate, laughing at each other's absolute conviction that their artist is best. The conversation soon drifts to Kurt's attempts at a musical theater career.
"When I was rejected by NYADA, I decided to come to New York City anyways and try to make it on the big stage. But I was typecast at every audition I went to. I was told that I was suited more for the best friend, the brother, that sort of thing. Always the supporting character. So I decided to take a break and then this Vogue gig came up."
"Don't give on your dreams, Kurt. You're still young. If Lin-Manuel can make a success of a show based on Alexander Hamilton, anything is possible."
Kurt laughs at his comment. Maybe his Pippa Middleton play idea wasn't so bad after all. Blaine's right. There are still endless possibilities for him in the New York theater scene. He just has to find them and get the timing right.
"Besides, you must be an incredible singer, Kurt. Your voice is so beautiful… I can't even imagine what it sounds like when you sing."
Kurt blushes at Blaine's flattering comment. "Well, one day, I just might sing for you, but you'll have to bribe me first!"
The discussion is abandoned when the owner comes on stage to announce the next act. "And now, for the highlight of the evening, please welcome Marley Rose."
Kurt sees Blaine's genuine smile and how enthusiastically he applauds the singer walking onto the stage. The slender young woman must be one of Blaine's favorites. Marley Rose starts the set with 'New York State of Mind', and she has the audience in the palm of her hands by the end of the song. As she sings through her set, there are various couples out on the dance floor. Kurt loves to dance, but doesn't feel confident enough to ask Blaine for a spin.
"Thank you. You're a really great audience tonight. Before I finish the set, I have a really special treat for you. A very good friend of mine composed a song recently, and it's beautiful. I've never sung it in public before, but I want to share it with you. I expect to see a lot more couples dancing to this song."
Kurt notices that Marley Rose is smiling at their table and thinks that this might be a hint to ask Blaine for a dance. As the piano starts the opening notes, Kurt quickly stands up and asks Blaine, "May I have this dance?"
Kurt is surprised to see Blaine blushing so furiously, but is relieved when Blaine nods his head and softly replies, "Yes. Yes, you may."
Now it's Kurt's turn to place his hand on Blaine's back and gently guide him to the dance floor. Kurt places one hand on Blaine's shoulder and gently tugs him closer as he clasps Blaine's hand. They are close - but not fully touching - as their bodies sway to the music.
Dancing in my arms
Search your heart - search your soul
Find the real me
A hundred thousand things to see
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
The music is led by the piano and there is an underlying bluesy melody to the song. As Marley Rose sings, Kurt gets caught up in the song's feeling and pulls Blaine close to his chest.
You holding me in your arms
At last my dreams come true
You are so beautiful to me
Some things are meant to be
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Kurt feels Blaine's arms shift as they engulf his back. Blaine is gently humming as he rubs soft circles on Kurt's back. It feels so good, and Kurt has never felt so connected with another person - with a man - before. He feels safe and cocooned in Blaine's arms and never wants to leave.
I've been looking for you forever
They don't know how long it takes
I love your smile, your laugh
For you are mine...
Kurt hears Blaine gently sing the chorus and loves his rich tenor voice. Kurt loses himself to the sensations – the beautiful sounds in his ear, the press of their bodies together, the piano playing an interlude the background. The dim lighting makes it feel like a dream, and Kurt rests his neck along Blaine's shoulder. He slowly inhales and takes in the smell of cologne, a freshly-laundered shirt and something else… that is utterly Blaine. Kurt's never felt this way before and he isn't sure how to label it. But it feels so good, so right.
Say you love me every waking moment
That you understand the man deep inside
Tell me I'm worth tryin' for
And we were meant to be
Oh, Yeah, yeah, yeah
The song soon ends and the piano chords slowly fade. Soon, there's a huge round of applause and Kurt steps away from Blaine to join in. Kurt smiles broadly when he notices that Blaine's eyes are sparkling and full of something… maybe hope.
"Thank you very much, folks. I'll let the composer know that you loved the song as much as I do. I'll be here again next Tuesday night and hope to see you then." The audience applauds Marley Rose and she bows before exiting backstage.
Blaine steers Kurt back to their table, both sliding in so their thighs are connecting.
"Blaine, you have a beautiful voice. I could get lost in it forever. But there's something I don't understand. Marley Rose said the song was recently composed. How did you know the lyrics?"
"Becauseiwroteit," Blaine mumbles quickly, and immediately looks down at his lap.
"You what?!"
"I wrote the song. It's no big deal, Kurt."
"Blaine, look at me."
Blaine slowly looks up, as if he's afraid of what he may see. Kurt immediately takes one of Blaine's hands, pulls it to the table and encases it with his own, slowly moving his thumb over the top. He can see Blaine visibly relax, so he continues.
"Of course it's a big deal. That song is so beautiful. You are talented in so many ways. How long have you been writing songs?"
"Look, I'll answer all your questions, but I need to go to the restroom. I'll be back soon with another round of drinks." Before Kurt can respond, Blaine dashes off.
Blaine splashes water over his face in the restroom. He mentally kicks himself for not thinking through the idea of bringing Kurt to the Treble Clef Club. He should have known that Marley Rose was performing tonight. That she would sing the song he had shared with her only days ago. Of course she would want him to see the audience's reaction firsthand. And when she smiled at the table before performing the song? She was like a siren luring them onto the dance floor. Kurt didn't have a choice but to ask for a dance.
Blaine hands tremble and his heart races as he thinks back to the dance floor, when he had held Kurt in his arms. He wants to sob at the memory because it had felt so good… so perfect. It was everything he'd imagined it would be. But he can't let Kurt know that he composed the song thinking of him. It's too soon, it's too much, and Blaine feels too vulnerable and emotionally exposed. But maybe he can open himself up to Kurt a little bit more. Tell him about his aborted music career. Peel off a layer to reveal more of himself. With his newfound courage, he quickly goes to the bar and orders another round of drinks, before returning to the table.
"I'm so glad you're back, Blaine. I was afraid I'd scared you away. You don't have to tell me anything about your music if you don't want to."
"I…I want to, Kurt. But it's a long story."
"Well, then it's a good thing that there's nowhere that I'd rather be," Kurt replies. He encases Blaine's hand in his own and gives him a reassuring look.
Blaine is pleased that Kurt is gently rubbing his thumb over the top of his hand once more. It makes him feel grounded and at ease.
"Music has always been a part of my life. My father is an accomplished sax player and my mother is a piano teacher. Growing up, we went to lots of live music performances in the area and spent many a night jamming at home. I even performed with my brother at the local theme park during the Christmas and summer holidays. When I went to Dalton in high school, I joined the glee club and was their lead soloist. I really wanted to pursue a music career."
"So what happened?"
"I came out to my father…. That's what happened. All of a sudden, he wasn't supportive anymore of my love of music." Blaine shakes his head slowly, before he adds, "I'm not sure whether it was because he didn't think I was good enough to make it… or whether he was worried about what type of Bohemian lifestyle I would lead around so many gay guys."
Blaine chuckles softly as he adds, "Little did he know that I would pick the fashion industry to work in, which has even more gay men."
Kurt rolls his eyes. "I can't believe he doesn't love you for who you are. How can he not love you and support you?"
Blaine isn't sure how to take Kurt's remark, so he decides to continue with the story.
"My father did love me… does love me. He just has a different way of showing it. During my senior year at Dalton, when I was trying to decide on a college and a major, my father refused to fund the tuition for any studies relating to music. When I received the letter accepting me at Harvard, he was over the moon… so proud of me. He went on and on about Harvard's business studies department and how the degree would set me up for life. I just couldn't reject Harvard… and my father's acceptance. I really wanted him to be proud of me."
"Did you like Harvard?"
"I loved Harvard, Kurt. I found I was a natural at business and got involved in all sorts of clubs. I even ran the LGBT club for two years. Back then, I'd decided not to pursue anything musical, as it would have only have created tension between me and my father. So I focused on another love of mine – fashion. And that was the beginnings of my 'Bowties and Suspenders' blog. The rest, as they say, is history."
Kurt takes a sip of his club soda and Blaine can almost see his mind whizzing away at a thousand miles per hour. "So, when did you get back into music?
"Umm… Last weekend," Blaine replies. He hopes Kurt doesn't put two and two together and realize that it was after their lunch date at his place. "I mean, I always play the piano, as it relaxes me, and I love listening to all types of music. When I woke up on Sunday morning, there were a few music notes playing in the back of the mind. By the time I'd eaten breakfast, the notes had formed the beginning of a tune. By the time I sat at the piano at noon, the lyrics were coming out of my mouth and I had the song composed before sunset.
"So, how do you know Marley Rose? How did she get your song?"
"I used to come to this club every Saturday night, when I first arrived in New York. The music reminded me of the jam sessions we used to have back at home. Marley Rose is a songwriter as well, but isn't as good at musical composition. We have spent many a Sunday afternoon at my place, fleshing out the music to her songs. She is always encouraging me to compose an original song of my own, so when I did, I showed it to her. I had no idea that she was going to sing it tonight."
"I'm glad she did, because otherwise, I wouldn't have learnt about this fascinating side of you. Now that you have your songwriting muse, are you going to continue composing?"
Blaine laughs internally at Kurt's turn of phrase. I most certainly do have a songwriting muse. You just don't know that it's you.
Blaine's not sure whether Kurt is just being polite with his comment. "No, I don't think so. I mean, I love composing music, but the Vogue job is pretty full-on. I don't have a lot of spare time left after work and the related night-time functions."
"You're your own man now, Blaine. You can do anything you want to. As a wise man once told me, don't give up on your dreams. You're still young."
Blaine's eyes widen when he hears Kurt repeat his very own words back to him.
"Blaine, you need to make sure that you put your happiness first – top priority, so to say. Are you happy?"
Blaine gently nods in appreciation of Kurt's sentiment. He loves that his happiness is important to Kurt.
"So are you…you know…happy?" Kurt asks shyly again.
Blaine laughs and replies, "Yes, I am. Right at this moment, I'm really, really happy."
"But usually?" Kurt prods.
"Y…es… Yes, I am. However, there's one last puzzle piece to put in place in order for me to be ecstatically happy." Blaine hopes that Kurt hasn't figured out that he is the missing puzzle piece.
Bentley pulls the Mercedes-Benz sedan to a stop in front of Kurt's Bushwick apartment. As Blaine walks Kurt to the apartment complex's door, he's wondering whether the evening should end with a kiss. Kurt looks so damn sexy, and Blaine worries his bottom lip with his teeth, deciding what he should do.
"Was this a date, Blaine? I don't have much experience, but it certainly felt like one."
Blaine is thrilled at Kurt's question. It had felt like it was a real date to him as well. But shyness takes over and he ducks his head so that Kurt can't see him blush. He peeps up over his eyelashes and replies, "Only if you want it to be."
At the worst moment possible, Bentley's window goes down and he shouts, "Hey, Blaine. I've got Sam on the line. He's wondering if we can pick him up on the way home. Is that okay with you?"
Blaine can see Kurt startle, but he can't read the expression on Kurt's face. He wants to say something, but words won't form in his mouth.
"Anyways… I had a great time tonight. Thanks for inviting me out," Kurt says in a breathy voice. Kurt gives Blaine a quick kiss on the cheek before rushing inside the building.
Blaine now knows how Prince Charming must have felt when Cinderella disappeared from the ball at midnight.
Author's notes
The songs Marley Rose sang in the jazz club were
'New York State of Mind' by Billy Joel
'I've Been Looking for You Forever' by me. Let's just say that I'm not giving up my day job anytime soon xD.
Thank you to Lilyandersteen, the most fabulous beta ever, although all mistakes are mine. Come visit me a Tumblr (HKVoyage) for the story artwork and my thoughts when writing this chapter. Reviews are like watching Blaine Warbler sing 'oh, yeah', pursing his lips together and making ridiculous faces.
Earlier this week I posted a short story called 'Friday Night Dinner'. Please check it out and let me know what you think.
Next up: Kurt feels confused about his feelings for Blaine… but he comes up with a plan.
