I haven't had time to write since I've been busy with a whole slew of stuff. AAAAHHHH!
Anyway, enough with my little rant.
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry is online
JackarateB is online
Kim A. Crawford is online
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: Hi! I'm watching Aladdin! I love the genie-bug!
Kim A. Crawford: Genie-bug?
JackarateB: He means when Aladdin is trying to impress Jasmine and Genie's trying to give him advice. Genie turns into a bumble-bee.
Kim A. Crawford: Jack, I'm a little disturbed that you know that. /:
JackarateB: It's not my fault that my little sister loves Disney movies! Besides, I grew up on that stuff.
Kim A. Crawford: But you still watch them.
JackarateB: No. No I don't.
Kim A. Crawford: It wasn't a question. I've seen you.
JackarateB: O.O Stalker!
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: Wait, what? Kim's a stalker now?
Kim A. Crawford: No I'm not!
JackarateB: I'm putting up security cameras around my house tomorrow.
Kim A. Crawford: Fine. Then I'm not helping you next time you babysit and your sisters' attack.
JackarateB: NO! NO KIM! NOOOOOO! I have to babysit tomorrow! D:
Kim A. Crawford: And let me guess, you were counting on me to help you.
JackarateB: Well… umm… Well umm….
JackarateB: I really have no good answer to that.
Kim A. Crawford: Thought so. Never helping you again!
JackarateB: What?! No! I need you!
Kim A. Crawford: Tell you what. Let's make a bet. If you can make it through one night of babysitting by yourself then I will help you babysit every time from then on. But if you don't, you have to treat me to a shopping spree!
JackarateB: Me? Treat you to a shopping spree? What makes you think I have that kind of money?
Kim A. Crawford: Don't you play that game with me! Your family is LOADED. Besides, I know for a fact that your weekly allowance is at least $200.
JackarateB: See? Stalker!
Kim A. Crawford: Excuse me, but I base that off of common sense! Every single week you come in with some useless, expensive, new skater/karate gadget.
JackarateB: D: Mean. They're not useless!
Kim A. Crawford: They are if you only use them once!
JackarateB: :P
Kim A. Crawford: *raises eyebrows sarcastically*
JackarateB: *grins knowingly*
Kim A. Crawford: *slaps the grin off of his face*
JackarateB: *sticks tongue out*
Kim A. Crawford: *throws hands up in annoyance and exasperation*
JackarateB: Sorry to interrupt our little rant, but have you heard from Jerry in a while?
JackarateB: JERRY! ARE YOU THERE?!
JackarateB: JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY!
JackarateB: JERRY MEISTER!
JackarateB: JERRY MAN!
JackarateB: SWAGMASTER!
JackarateB: BOY-IN-LOVE-WITH-MANY-GIRLS!
JackarateB: PROUD OWNER OF A PENGUIN!
JackarateB: MAN, JERRY, DUDE, WHERE ARE YOU!?
JackarateB: SPANISH-MASTER! AAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!
Kim A. Crawford: Woah Jack. Calm. Down. Has someone had too much sugar?
JackarateB: YES! And that someone is me!
Kim A. Crawford: Doesn't anyone know not to give you sugar right before bed time?
JackarateB: Kim, you know things you really shouldn't know.
Kim A. Crawford: Don't you remember our gummy-worm fight at that sleepover last summer?
JackarateB: Oooohhhhhh…. Yeah. Good point.
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: STAB THAT SNAKE!
Kim A. Crawford: Still watching Aladdin?
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: Jafar, Jafar, he's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!
JackarateB: I'll take that as a yes.
JackarateB: Anyway, Kim, I'll take that bet! And I will do it ALONE. I'm just that awesome.
Kim A. Crawford: No, you're a spineless bowl of jello. I mean, who can't handle two 7-year-old girls?
JackarateB: Have you met them?
Kim A. Crawford: Multiple times. I don't see the big deal. They're sweet girls!
JackarateB: So they seem. So they seem…
Kim A. Crawford: Jack I'm fed up with your stupid fears. I'm leaving.
JackarateB: Fine then!
Kim A. Crawford: Alright!
JackarateB: Fine!
Kim A. Crawford: Good. BYE!
Kim A. Crawford logged off at 9:39
JackarateB: Well HISS to you too Kim!
JackarateB: Bye Jerry!
JackarateB logged off at 9:42
Next Day
Kim A. Crawford is online
Milton David Krupnick is online
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry is online
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: Hey Milton, I have a question!
Milton David Krupnick: I'm scared to ask…
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: How do cows fly over the moon? Because they don't have angel wings. OOOH! I know! They use jetpacks, am I right!?
Kim A. Crawford: Oh gosh…
Milton David Krupnick: Jerry, cows can't fly.
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: What?! Eddie lied to me… Oh well. At least we all know that platypuses are a myth.
Kim A. Crawford: Uhhhh…
Milton David Krupnick: I'm not even going to reply to that.
Kim A. Crawford: Wait, where is Eddie? And Jack for that matter? He was done babysitting like 3 hours ago!
Milton David Krupnick: Jack said something about his grandpa and a car… I don't know what he was talking about.
Kim A. Crawford: Well I can always text Jack, but where is Eddie?
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: He's entering the yearly Seaford Corn Eating contest!
Milton David Krupnick: Don't you mean corn-dog eating contest?
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: No, I meant what I said.
Milton David Krupnick: Well, I'll wish Eddie good luck if I see him. I, on the other hand, can't stand corn. All that horrible stuff gets stuck in your teeth. Yuck! And that sickly yellow color!
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: Dude, don't let Jack hear you say that.
Kim A. Crawford: ?
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: His favorite color is yellow!
Kim A. Crawford: Where do you come up with this stuff?! Jack's favorite color is green. Forest green to be exact!
Kim A. Crawford: Speaking of Jack, I'm going to text him.
Milton David Krupnick: Ok
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: I'm bored.
Milton David Krupnick: Tough luck. I'm not! I'm learning about an endangered species: Clouded Leopards!
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: Dude, even during Spring Break you still learn things! Give your brain a break!
Milton David Krupnick: Easy for you to say! You've only used your brain as many times as an average boy would stumble into the girl's bathroom!
JackarateB is online
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry: Hey! I've stumbled into the girl's bathroom a bunch of times!
JackarateB: O.o I really didn't need to know that.
Kim A. Crawford: Hi Jack! How'd your babysitting session go? *smirks haughtily*
JackarateB: Perfectly! It was, well, magnificent!
Kim A. Crawford: Yeah right. *scoffs*
JackarateB: Oh Kimmy. Oh Kimmy. You're just a sore loser.
Kim A. Crawford: Oh Jackie. If you keep calling me that, you are going to end up in the HOSPITAL.
JackarateB: Ah contraire!
Kim A. Crawford: You're stupid.
JackarateB: We both know that you're just a sore loser!
Kim A. Crawford: Grrrr… You better watch it Jack. Just because I have to help you watch your sisters doesn't mean that I can't put you in the hospital.
Kim A. Crawford logged off at 4:25
The next day:
Kim A. Crawford is online
JackarateB is online
"The Playa" Eddie is online
Kim A. Crawford: BREWER! You're dirty rotten liar!
JackarateB: Ready for tonight Kimmy?
"The Playa" Eddie: What's going on?
Kim A. Crawford: There isn't going to be any 'tonight' Jack. I found out your little secret.
"The Playa" Eddie: What? What secret? Are you two going out? (;
Kim A. Crawford: NO EDDIE! How many times do we have to tell you that?!
JackarateB: Seriously dude. We've told you at least 102 times, and counting.
Kim A. Crawford: Besides, I would never even think about going out with such a two-faced, lying, back stabbing little… you know, I'm thinking about some words that no one should really have to look at, so I just won't put them down.
Kim A. Crawford: But just so we're clear, I HATE YOU JACKSON!
"The Playa" Eddie: Dude, what did you do?!
JackarateB: Beats me. Oh wait… *puts finger to chin in mock thought* I WON THE BET!
Kim A. Crawford: Yeah, won by CHEATING!
JackarateB: You. Have. No. Proof.
"The Playa" Eddie: Guys, I'm really confused. Like, Jerry confused. Wow. How does Jerry live like this?! O:
JackarateB: How did I cheat, Kimmy? Cause I've still won the bet if there's no proof against me! (;
Kim A. Crawford: Oh you'll get your evidence Brewer. You'll get it real soon.
3 days later
JackarateB is online
The Swag Sexy Beast Jerry is online
Kim A. Crawford is online
"The Playa" Eddie is online
Milton David Krupnick is online
JackarateB: What the heck Kim?! Where were you today? I had the evil twins and the little devils that I have to call my cousins! ALL IN ONE DAY! I repeat, WHAT THE HECK KIM?!
Milton David Krupnick: Ok, you guys have serious problems. You've been yelling at each other for a week. I'm leaving before I get caught up in this - *shudder* - drama.
Milton David Krupnick logged off at 8:53
Kim A. Crawford: You are a fool Jack. An utter fool.
JackarateB: How?
JackarateB: In fact, it doesn't even matter. You didn't show up! Who does that?!
"The Playa" Eddie: Dude. Cool it. You're acting like she ditched you on a date or something. No reason to get mad.
Kim A. Crawford: No, no… It's half right. Jack has a reason to be mad. Just not the reason you're thinking of.
"The Playa" Eddie: Well Jack?
JackarateB: Well what?
"The Playa" Eddie: You know. What's your reason for being mad?
JackarateB: Isn't it obvious?! She ditched me with little, evil, pitiless children! FOR 4 FREAKIN HOURS! Do you know what they did to me?!
"The Playa" Eddie: Uh… I'd rather not find out, thx.
JackarateB: Oh, you're going to hear it anyway! First. They rigged the stairs with a huge bucket of red goo! GOO!
Kim A. Crawford: Jack, that's not the reason.
JackarateB: And, before someone asks, no, I didn't trigger it. My dog did.
Kim A. Crawford: Jack, can we focus?
JackarateB: Do you know how long that dog's fur is? And how white?! She's still dyed blood-red!
"The Playa" Eddie: Jack, are you done yet?
Kim A. Crawford: Sigh.
JackarateB: Eddie, I've got like 50 other stories.
Kim A. Crawford: Hey, I just realized that Jerry's logged in… but he's not saying anything, which is unusual. Usually his stupidity would have been showing in misspelled words or stupid questions by now.
"The Playa" Eddie: Oh yeah. Well, we were on Rudy's computer last night and a popup add came up for saltine crackers. Jerry screamed and ran. The screen's now stuck on his chat page.
JackarateB: That's kinda ironic…
JackarateB: But it doesn't beat the horror Kim set me up to!
"The Playa" Eddie: Kim, can you just tell the kid where you were so we can stop dwelling on HIS STUPID BABYSITTING?
Kim A. Crawford: Yeesh. Ok, fine. Gosh.
Kim A. Crawford: So there I was. Four days ago. In Trueman's dad's office.
"The Playa" Eddie: What in the world where you doing there?!
Kim A. Crawford: I'm getting there! So, I was asking Trueman for a favor since, you know, I have connections. (; Anyway, I snagged one of his 'prize' video cameras (which is really a bedazzled Kodak camera) and set it up in a tree in Jack's yard, and hit record.
JackarateB: I knew you were a stalker! HA! I WAS SO RIGHT!
"The Playa" Eddie: How did you get Trueman to do you a favor anyway?
Kim A. Crawford: I told you Eddie. I have my connections.
Kim A. Crawford: Anyway, I grabbed the camera 4 days ago, and guess what I saw?
JackarateB: *gulp* Is it too early to say, 'this isn't what it looks like?'
Kim A. Crawford: Actually, it's a little too late.
"The Playa" Eddie: K, so what did you see?
Kim A. Crawford: Oh yeah. First, quietness. His parents left for a birthday party. And then I saw it. A sleek, red convertible pulled up and Jack's sisters ran out to it. Imagine the surprise I felt when I saw that it was Jack's grandpa. And then, since the camera could zoom into the window, I saw Jack, dancing on the couch. After that it was pretty boring. He ordered pizza. Actually two pizzas. Who eats two pizzas Jack?! And then I saw some very interesting things…
"The Playa" Eddie: What?
JackarateB: Kim… Don't you dare…
Kim A. Crawford: *creases forehead and taps chin* Hmm… I'm seem to recall someone making out with a Carrie Underwood pillow.
JackarateB: KIM!
"The Playa" Eddie: Ok, I am so taking a screenshot and sending it to Jerry!
Kim A. Crawford: Anyway, the fact is, Jack Brewer, you owe me a shopping spree! :D
JackarateB: Well crap.
And there you go folks. There you have it. If it wasn't funny… I'M SORRY!
