"I'm not trying to be sexy. It's just my way of expressing myself when I move around."
- Elvis Presley
June
Blaine looks up from his tablet and stares out of the window from the backseat of his Mercedes-Benz. He knows he should be happy with the initial circulation numbers for the June issue. The head of the IT department has e-mailed him for more money for extra band-width for the unprecedented traffic on the website. Everything is going so perfectly at work, but his private life is a disaster.
"Why the long face, Blaine? I thought everything went well last night."
"It did, Bentley. Everything went brilliantly, but… Kurt and I had our first fight."
Bentley remembers the sniffles coming from the back seat when he took Kurt home last night. How he curled into the corner like a hurt soul. Bentley silently waits for Blaine to continue.
"Kent Gash, the director of NYU Tisch School of the Arts, was at the after-party and we were talking. When Kent glanced over at Kurt, I told him about Kurt's amazing acting and singing talents. How he was destined for the Broadway stage. Kent seemed interested in Kurt, in, you know, a professional way."
"I see," Bentley replies neutrally, encouraging Blaine to speak on.
"When I mentioned it to Kurt later, he flipped out. Told me that I had no right talking to Gash without discussing it with him first. I thought he'd be pleased that I put in a good word for him. But I was obviously wrong, and I'm not sure why. What did I do wrong, Bentley?"
"My impression of Kurt is that he's a very proud young man, and he wants to impress people all by himself. So maybe he was upset because you didn't give him the chance to discuss his talents with this NYU guy? Kurt might doubt that the director would even consider him without you putting in a good word on his behalf."
"I'm a real idiot. I never thought about it like that. I really wanted to help him, not make Kurt think he couldn't do it on his own."
"And that's why you and Kurt get along so well. You are both very giving of yourselves, but neither of you are very good at receiving kindness in return."
"How do I fix this?"
"Don't make a big deal about it. Kurt's probably worried as well this morning. Let him tell you why it bothered him and really listen to what he says. We all make mistakes, but any relationship gets stronger when you can work things out by talking."
Blaine nods his head and wonders how Bentley became so wise. He then sends Kurt a text message, Hope you've recovered from last night. You were wonderful btw. Sorry for messing things up. You're right, I should have talked to you first. Forgive me? B x
"Have you seen Twitter?" Tina cries out as soon as Blaine steps into the office.
"Morning, Tina. I had a quick look at Twitter when I woke up. The usual red carpet and after-party stuff. The photos were great."
"No! I'm talking about what's been trending for the past hour. Come and take a look!"
Blaine stands behind Tina looking at her computer screen. His jaw drops open when he reads:
#HamiltonBroadway
#TheTonyAwards
#Vogue
#MBL
#Lin-ManuelMiranda
#OneDirection
#Trubama
#KurtHummel
#GetAMovieIntoShape
#Krian
"Wow. Half the items are about last night… and Kurt's trending!"
"Yeah, he hit the list about 30 minutes ago and is slowly making his way up."
"What are they saying about Kurt?"
"Interesting that you want to know about Kurt first and not Vogue. Most tweets are about his appearance on last night's red carpet. There's also the usual stuff about his looks and what color his eyes are. There's the odd one or two tweets that are nasty, but they come from people in Lima, Ohio. Sounds like Kurt has a few enemies there?"
"No, just some losers that are envious of his success. I've got to call Kurt and let him know."
Tina hands him a cup of coffee and gives him a smirk. "Well, after you do, you need to take a look at the latest circulation numbers, because I have a feeling my day is going to be spent at the printers."
Tina has peaked Blaine's interest, so when he enters his office, he signs onto Vogue's network and looks at the latest sales figures. They're even better than he had expected. He had authorized 1,900,000 copies, which is about 50% more than the usual sales. Then he notices his inbox filled with new e-mails from the major distributors, clamoring for more copies.
"Tina, can you come in here for a minute?"
Tina enters as she pulls on her jacket. "Just tell me how many, Blaine."
"Five hundred thousand."
"Really?"
"Yep, really. And when you are done at the printers, I want you to organize a Vogue staff party. We are going to celebrate hitting over two million issues sold!"
"That's a brilliant idea, Blaine. I'll get right on it, once I've sorted out the print run. What sort of party are you thinking about?"
"I'm thinking about a fun party, where people don't have to get dressed up. So no media allowed. A place where they can relax and let their hair down. Music and dancing and fun stuff to do. That kind of party."
As Tina leaves the room, Blaine adds, "One more thing, Tina. Let's have the party as soon as possible. We have some serious celebrating to do after doubling our circulation in only two months."
"I know! Rachel woke me up to show me. I can't believe it's happening! I never thought I would trend on Twitter! Just a sec, I'm going to turn off my notifications so I can give you my undivided attention."
Blaine quietly chuckles at Kurt's exuberance whilst he fiddles with his phone. He doesn't want to ruin the moment, but he also knows that he has to raise the delicate subject of last night's fight.
"You deserve it, Kurt. You deserve everything wonderful that happens to you. In between reading the tweets, did you have a chance to look at my text?"
"Blaine, of course I did. Your texts matter so much more to me than random tweets from people I don't know. I haven't replied yet because I was thinking about the best way to respond."
"Oh? Are you that mad at me?" Blaine replies with a shaky quiet voice.
"No, I'm not mad at you, Blaine. I'm mad at myself. I didn't control my temper and explain why I was upset."
"I'm listening now, Kurt."
"It's… It's hard to explain. I want to be on the Broadway stage more than anything else. But I want to get there on pure talent. Not because someone feels they have to give me a chance because you told them to."
"I understand what you're saying, and I'm very sorry I overstepped with Kent Gush. I promise not to talk about you to people working in the entertainment business. However, I will have to keep talking you up at Vogue and to those in the fashion world. That's part of my job."
"That's okay."
"So… Are we all right now?"
"Yes, Blaine. Of course we're all right."
"Duuude! I'm glad your home! I've got something to tell you!"
"There's another update from KrianFeels? What is it this time? Blow jobs in the senior common room before glee rehearsal?"
"Nope, it's even better than that!"
Blaine raises his eyebrows at Sam as he toes off his shoes and hangs his suit jacket over a dining table. He walks to the living room and joins Sam on the couch.
"I'm all ears, Sam."
"Mercedes and I were skyping today and she's finally agreed to marry me!"
"You proposed to Mercedes on Skype?"
"Naw, I'm not that stupid. I proposed to her during my last trip to LA, on a moon-lit beach, on one bended knee. Give me some credit! She just didn't give me an answer until today."
Blaine jumps up and gives Sam a great big hug. "I'm really happy for you two."
"Yeah, me too. I never thought she would say 'yes' to me."
"So have you worked out any of the details?"
"We've decided it's going to be sometime in September, after Mercedes finishes her national tour. We don't have all the stuff worked out yet, but we know we want to keep it small. We're thinking that we might elope."
"What? I don't get to be your best man?"
"Umm… Like I said, nothing's worked out."
"I'm kidding, Sam. You need to do what's best for you two. Don't worry about family or your best man."
"Thanks, bro. I knew you would understand. There's one more thing. It's, like, all hush-hush. Mercedes is starting negotiations with Sony on a record deal next month. We don't want them knowing about us getting married in case it changes how they think about her."
"Got it. My lips are sealed."
"I'm serious, man. I don't want to mess up Mercedes' big break, so I don't want anyone to know about this. Well, I've told you, and I'll tell Amy and Bentley, but nobody else. So don't tell Kurt. He lives with that Rachel Berry, and she's such a blabbermouth, talking to the press any chance she gets."
"I haven't told Kurt about our 'arrangement' and I won't tell him about this. But we'll have to talk about this again at the end of September if the news isn't out. I'm really hoping Kurt and I will get together once Vogue has renegotiated Kurt's modeling contract."
Sam fist-bumps Blaine to seal the deal.
"Kurt! What are you doing?" Rachel asks in an exasperated tone.
"Placing the Aladdin musical ticket inside an envelope so that I can send it back to Sebastian Smythe."
"But those are the best seats in the house!"
"I don't care, Rach. Sure, I want to see Aladdin, but certainly not with Sebastian Smythe. God knows what he would expect from me after the show. Besides, I can now afford to buy my own tickets and take Blaine with me. He really loves Disney movies."
"You know, Kurt, there are more guys out there than Blaine Anderson. Blaine spoke to Kent Gash about you and where did it get you? Absolutely nowhere! No meeting, no audition, nada! Maybe Sebastian Smythe will be better to further your career."
Kurt places a finger inside each of his ears and sings la-la-la-la-la as he goes to his bedroom. He's never been so angry at Rachel in his entire life. How dare she insinuate that he should only go out with somebody if they can further his career. And he'd already told Rachel to stop nagging him about Blaine! He slowly calms down as he can hear Rachel leave the loft. Thank god for small mercies. His phone pings to notify him of an incoming text.
Do you have time to stop by the Vogue offices before the party tonight? There's something I want to ask you. B xx
The message peaks Kurt's interest, as they met for a coffee only last week, discussing the plans for tonight's Vogue staff party.
Sure. I'll stop by after my hair appointment. K xxx
Kurt enters Blaine's office suite and greets Tina at her desk. "Hi, Tina. Blaine asked me to stop by. Is he available?"
Tina stares at Kurt for a moment before she grabs a fluffy towel and hands it to him with a smirk.
"Sure. Blaine's at the Vogue gym, on the second floor. Would you mind taking the towel down to Blaine? He forgot it. But I'm not sure who's going to need it more – you or him."
Kurt raises one eyebrow and gives Tina a questioning look.
"Uh-uh, not going to tell you, but you'll know why soon."
Kurt can hear Tina's laughter as he walks to the elevator lobby.
Kurt enters the gym and looks around for Blaine. He's not on the machines, but he can hear grunts coming from a small room just beyond. Kurt quietly moves towards the back room, because he's not sure what he's going to see. When he gets to the doorway, he bites into the towel to stifle the moan pouring out of his mouth. The image provides enough fodder for his wank bank to last for a month, probably more. His face heats up thinking about Tina's comment and her laughter.
In the corner of the room hangs a punching bag that Blaine is pounding – jabs, hook punches, knee strikes and other moves Kurt can't identify. Kurt's impressed with the moves, but he's even more impressed with the body. Blaine's wearing loose boxing shorts with a thick elastic band that accentuates his tiny waist. Kurt can see the bulging muscles of his powerful thighs as he moves this way and that. Blaine is topless, and his upper-back muscles ripple as he jabs the punching bag. Sweat drips off his curls as he works out, leaving little beads trickling down his neck and back. Kurt bites into the towel again to stop himself from going over and licking it off his body.
When Kurt feels like he has his urges under control, he knocks on the doorframe and loudly clears his throat. Blaine quickly stops and turns around, and it takes every bit of Kurt's self-control not to look at his abs.
"Oh, hey, Kurt. Thanks for stopping by. Oh, is that towel for me?"
Kurt hands the towel to Blaine, who rubs it all over his body and hair.
"You box."
"Yeah, it's something I picked up in high school after the Sadie Hawkins dance thing. It made me feel more in control of what haters might do. That fear is long gone, but I find it's a really great way to stay in shape, and a great way to channel any aggressive energy."
"Chrystal's told me all the advantages of boxing, but I didn't realize how great the umm… benefits would be. You wanted to talk to me?"
Blaine takes a water bottle and drinks it slowly. Kurt can see his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, and knows he can't go there with his thoughts. Blaine puts the bottle on the bench and sits down, with his head held low. Kurt knows Blaine well enough to realize that he's nervous.
"So, what gives?"
"You know that in September, there's the Fashion's Night Out. This year, the theme is diva and the main event will be a diva-off along the catwalk."
"Oh, I know all about it. Unique mentioned it when I got my hair cut. I took her along, 'cause there's no way anybody's touching my hair without her in tow."
Blaine laughs loudly. "I'm glad it's not just me. Unique has total control of my hair as well. Anyways, I've agreed to be the only male model for the diva-off. It will raise lots of money for charity and help Vogue get into the limelight. But I'm having doubts, lots of doubts, about it. I've really been pushing myself training to get into shape for the event. There are lots of people encouraging me, cheering me on for the diva-off. But Kurt, do you think I'm… umm …. too old to do something like this?"
Right at this moment, Kurt remembers why he has fallen in love with Blaine. Blaine, who is so gorgeous and sexy and doesn't really know it. Blaine, who can distinguish between people who tell him what they think he wants to hear, and people whose opinion matters. Kurt feels honored that he falls into the latter category.
"No, Blaine. You're not too old for the diva-off catwalk. I mean, come on, look at you. You're New York's most eligible gay bachelor. When they see that body strutting along the catwalk, every warm-blooded man, gay or otherwise, is going to want you. But you already know that. Do you want to know what I really think?"
Blaine lifts his head and nods slowly.
"I think that maybe you've lost your inner diva. That you need a boost to your confidence. And do you know who can help you with that?"
"You?"
"Hell no. I might live with Rachel Berry, but I haven't picked up her ways. At least I hope not. I'm thinking about Unique. She's the biggest diva of them all."
"You're right, Kurt. Maybe I should focus on my inner diva as well as what I physically look like. And yeah, Unique would be perfect for the job. I knew that you could help me out with this. Your opinion is really important to me. It means so..."
"Looking good, bro! Those abs are coming along nicely," Sam exclaims as he enters the gym, rushing over and running his hands along Blaine's abdomen and scooching down to inspect even further.
"Now let's work on your glutes, because everyone will be looking at your ass…. Oh, hey, Kurt. I didn't see you there. Am I interrupting anything?"
"No, I was just about to leave. See you guys tonight."
Kurt gives a closed-lip smile and waggles his fingers as he leaves. He doesn't dare look at Blaine's face – Kurt can't bear to see Blaine's expression as he's looking into his lover's eyes. Kurt's never been as jealous as he is right now of Sam.
Kurt enters The Ace Bar in the East Village, which has been booked out the entire night for Vogue's private staff party. There are buckets of tokens everywhere for the skee-ball, pool table, arcade games and such. A large projection screen shows the band playing the song pumping out of the jukebox. However, Kurt notices Tina in the corner setting up what looks like karaoke next to a raised platform. The tables have been cleared to one side, allowing people to freely mingle and dance later in the night. The tables are loaded with sliders, Buffalo wings, peel-n-eat shrimp, mozzarella sticks and the like. For the more health-conscious staff, there is hummus, popcorn and a raw vegetable platter.
The bartenders are working hard to make sure everyone has a beer. However, Kurt decides to drink a non-alcoholic version. He doesn't want to get too sloppy around Blaine.
"Kurt, there you are! I've been looking all over for you! You look delicious. Let me take a photo so that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas."
Kurt can't help but giggle at Chandler's ridiculous lines. He agrees to the photo – only one – before Chandler has a chance to monopolize him further. Kurt hasn't seen him since that first photo shoot back in February. At the time the flirting and flattery felt good, but now it feels uncomfortable and awkward. His eyes dart around the bar looking for someone he knows, and then wanders to the entrance to plan his escape. But instead, he sees Blaine and Sam enter the bar.
Blaine is wearing the same ripped jeans and white T-shirt that he wore when they went to the Brooklyn Flea Market. But now they fit more snugly on Blaine, with all the working out he's been doing. Kurt can see his biceps bulging underneath the short sleeves. Blaine's hair is a mop of tight curls and - OMG! - he's wearing guyliner. The black kohl eyeliner is perfectly smudged and makes his hazel eyes pop. Kurt puts his bottle of beer against his forehead to cool down. Kurt's heart sinks when he sees the diamond-studded ring on Blaine's finger. It's not his left ring finger, but who knows what it means.
"Let's get this party started!" Blaine shouts as he grabs a bottle of beer. He then goes to the cleared-out space in the bar with Sam and they start dancing. Soon others are joining in and letting loose.
Kurt zones out Chandler's incessant talking and leans back against the bar, quietly taking in the celebrations all around him. Afer a few songs, he sees Blaine walking towards him, swaying as if slightly tipsy. Kurt can't decipher his expression but he notices that Blaine's eyes have darkened and his lips are tightly drawn together.
"Hey, Kurt. I was looking for youuuu…"
Blaine stands with his back towards Chandler and gives Kurt a hug. When they part, Blaine wraps his arm around Kurt's waist and gives Chandler a pointed look.
"Stop bugging Kurt all the time. He's mine. Now go away!"
"Oh, my bad, I-I-I didn't realize that you two were together," Chandler stutters.
"We're not, but he's really, really, really special to me. So back off! Kurt doesn't need you harassing him."
Kurt's astonished at Blaine's behavior. Could Blaine be jealous? Or is Blaine worried that Kurt can't take care of himself with Chandler? Kurt decides to diffuse the situation before Blaine does something stupid.
"Chandler was just about to ask Tina when the karaoke will start. Weren't you?"
Chandler nods and scurries to the corner of the bar where the karaoke machine is set up.
"What was that all about, Blaine?"
Blaine hangs his head in shame. "I don't know. There's something about Chandler hitting on you that I don't like one little bit."
"You don't need to worry about Chandler. I can handle him. I guess I do appreciate you being my knight in shining armor trying to save me."
Blaine grins happily, and Kurt can't help but tease him a little. "So I'm yours, huh?"
"Well… I… not really… umm…"
"Blaine, look at me, please."
Blaine looks up, and Kurt can see the sincere warmth in his eyes. He can also see the nervousness thrumming through Blaine's body.
"It's okay to look out for a friend, and I do appreciate it. Perhaps a little bit of finesse next time? Less of the caveman claiming his mate?"
Blaine giggles. "I guess I was a little over the top. Sorrrrrry."
"By the way, I like the guyliner, Blaine. It's a good look on you."
Blaine perks up with the praise. "Do you like it? After the gym, I spoke to Unique and she's agreed to help me out. She came straight to the office and said that if I wanna be a diva, I have to look like one too. And so she fixed me up for tonight. What do you think of the ring? Unique said I could borrow it."
Kurt can't help but clasp his hands together and jump a little with the news that the ring was Unique's and not Sam's.
"It looks great, Blaine. It could be your signature piece."
"Ha, ha, Kurt. Very funny. Hush now, Unique is going to start off the karaoke."
At first I was afraid I was petrified
Thinking I couldn't live without you by my side
And I've been spending nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
"Wow, Unique can really sing," Kurt observes.
"She really can. But look at her on that stage. She owns it. And the way she struts, she's the biggest diva of them all. She should be in the diva-off instead of me."
No, not I, I will survive
Long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And all my love to give and I'll survive
I, I, I will survive
"Come dance with me, Kurtttt."
"Dancing when we are alone together, sure. Dancing at the Vogue staff party? No. Too many tongues will wag."
Kurt's glad that Unique's song is over, because he really doesn't want to dance with Blaine tonight. Kurt's not sure what to do, because Blaine's getting a bit sloppy. Kurt whips his head around when he hears the next performer.
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
come on honey tell me so
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
come on sugar let me know
Chandler is singing, well actually screeching, his song. Kurt takes this as his cue and excuses himself to the restroom.
"I know it's late, but I've saved the best act for last." Tina pauses as the excitement builds up at the bar and synchronized clapping starts up.
"Let's hear it for Blaine Anderson, our fearless leader and friend."
The noise in the bar reaches new decibels as Blaine smiles broadly and jumps on the stage.
"And let's also welcome Vogue newcomer… Kurt Hummel," Tina adds.
Kurt is shocked that Tina has announced his name and shakes his head.
"I'm not having any of this, honey. You are going to get up on that stage and give the people what they want!" Unique pulls Kurt through the crowd, who are quietly whispering to themselves.
Kurt's on stage and gives Blaine a quizzical look. At least Blaine has sobered up since he last saw him.
"Honest, I didn't know anything about this. What do you want to sing?" Blaine whispers.
"Don't worry about that. I already picked something out," Tina laughs as she leaves the stage.
Can't keep my hands to myself
No matter how hard I'm trying to
I want you all to myself
You're metaphorical gin and juice
So come on, give me a taste
Of what it's like to be next to you
Kurt knows the lyrics to the song. Who doesn't? It's been playing several times an hour on every top forty radio station. His and Blaine's voices sound great together. But Tina is an evil woman for picking this song. The staff are clapping along to the beat and Blaine starts moving his hips, waggling his eyebrows and coquettishly moving to the side of the platform. Well, two can play that game. I'm a performer, after all.
Kurt turns his back to Blaine and starts swaying his hips. He throws his head back and gives Blaine a wink.
Can't keep my hands to myself
I want it all, no, nothing else
Can't keep my hands to myself
Give me your all and nothing else
Blaine runs to Kurt and turns him around, placing his hands on Kurt's hips so they are swaying together to the beat. Kurt tugs him closer as they continue singing.
Oh, I, I want it all
I want it all, I want it all
Can't keep my hands to myself
I mean I could, but why would I want to?
My hands to myself
Can't keep my hands to myself
As the song fades from the speakers, there is clapping, whistling, hooting, and hollering throughout the bar. But time stands still for Kurt, and Blaine's face is close to his. The only thing he can hear is Blaine breathing little puffs of warm air that he feels on his neck. The only thing that he sees is Blaine's lust-blown eyes. And the moment feels too intense, like he could lose control of himself any second, and so he closes his eyes and shivers.
Kurt opens his eyes again when he can't feel Blaine's hands on his hips any longer. And he sees Blaine smiling and waving as he makes his way over to Sam. Blaine walks into Sam's arms and they whisper for a few minutes. Soon after, Blaine says his goodbyes before he and Sam leave The Ace Bar.
Kurt thinks it's probably a good thing that Blaine went to Sam after their duet. It was pretty intense. And Blaine was right to hold Sam and whisper reassurances that Kurt was just his friend. But that doesn't mean that Kurt didn't want the evening to end a different way – his way.
"Shhhh… It's all right, sweetie," Amy whispers, rubbing Blaine's back in slow soft circles. She tries not to cry for this wonderful but vulnerable man she holds in her arms.
"Nooo, it isn't. He knooows."
When the sobbing dies down, Amy hands Blaine a mug of warm milk. "Is that such a bad thing? Now drink this, it's going to make you feel better."
After a few sips of warm milk, Blaine gains control of his sniffles. "You can't imagine what Kurt looked like on stage. If you think I wear tightly-fitting trousers – Kurt's are practically painted on his long, long legs. He just had his hair cut and it was styled in that sexy tousled look I love so much. And he was swaying his hips and winking at me like… like… like a siren."
"Well, you probably looked good to him too, particularly with that eyeliner on. Never thought a man could pull it off, but you do."
"When the song ended, we were so close. All I could think about was drowning him in kisses. But then Kurt closed his eyes, and I knew the moment was over. It felt so overwhelming, and it was all I could do to walk over to Sam and ask him to bring me home."
"Maybe Kurt closed his eyes because he felt overwhelmed too. It might feel hopeless now, but time will work everything out. Now let's get you to bed, and I'll tuck you in as snug as a bug on a rug."
"Feeling better this morning?" Amy asks as she hands Blaine a cup of coffee.
"Yeah, I guess I do. In spite of everything, I managed to get a solid eight hours of sleep. Thanks for everything last night. I know it was late and it was way beyond your duties."
"It certainly didn't feel like a duty, Blaine. It felt more like being there for someone who's special to you."
Blaine sits down on the couch and swipes his finger over his tablet to check Twitter. Under his hashtag, he discovers photos from last night's Vogue staff party. He's angry that photos were posted, as all the staff know about the privacy policy. He makes a mental note for Tina to find out who's responsible. Most of the tweets are compliments about his new look with the manliner, but he feels uncomfortable when they start commenting on his duet with Kurt, even if the remarks are innocent. His phone vibrates with a new text. He laughs out loud when he reads Unique's message, Guyliner is a go!
He then receives an e-mail informing him that KrianFeels has updated their Breakout fic earlier that morning. He curls up on the sofa, ready for an hour of escapism. The story left off when Brian was selected for the cheerleading squad and Kevin insisted that he wear the outfit for that evening's Skype call. It promises to be a delicious chapter.
Author's notes
Songs used at the Vogue staff party
Unique sings 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gayner
Chandler sings 'Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?' by Rod Stewart
Kurt and Blaine sing 'Hands to Myself' by Selena Gomez
Thank you to Lilyandersteen, the most fabulous beta ever, although all mistakes are mine. Come visit me a Tumblr (HKVoyage) for the story artwork and my thoughts when writing this chapter.
I'm changing time zones this weekend, so upcoming chapters will be posted roughly 12 hours later (but still on Saturday). Since it will be eight days until I next post, you might want to check out Lilyvandersteen's stories on this site. Not only is she a great beta, but she's also a fantastic storyteller.
Next up: Kurt and Blaine spend a rainy weekend at the penthouse.
