"Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

September

Yesterday, Kurt Hummel signed a one-year modeling contract with Elle Magazine. The 19-year-old model started his meteoric rise to fame when he signed on with Vogue last February. Hummel was touted as their new 'fresh face' and was first seen on the cover of its May issue. He's since been featured in every Vogue issue and was in Marc Jacobs' advertising campaign last summer.

Sebastian Smythe, Elle's editor-in-chief, reports, "We are happy to have Kurt on board with us at Elle and we have exciting plans for him to feature in every issue. Make sure to subscribe to the Elle newsletter, because we'll release behind-the-scenes photos and news when Kurt starts working next week."

Wesley Montgomery, Hummel's agent at Fushion NYC, stated that Kurt is not available for comment. Montgomery denied rumors that Vogue dumped the fresh-faced model once the infamous Klainegate video was released. "Mr. Hummel's contract with Vogue expires at the end of this month, and he's been exploring a number of exciting offers on the table. The timing is purely coincidental." - Fashionindustrynetwork website

Blaine closes his eyes and resists the urge to throw his tablet against the wall. He's shocked that Kurt has signed a modeling contract with Elle without telling him. Hadn't they agreed to sit tight and speak after the press conference? Blaine now knows why Kurt hasn't answered his phone or replied to the texts. In one single action, Kurt has brought on a media frenzy again.

Blaine's stomach twists in knots. He has left countless voicemails and texts suggesting that they get away together this weekend. Tina has even booked a cottage in Woodstock through Airbnb. Not only is it the peak foliage weekend to see the autumn colors, they would have time to really talk away from the media circus in New York City. He has been hoping that Kurt would agree to be his boyfriend. What they have shared backstage at the diva-off has been tainted by the Klainegate video, yes, but doesn't it mean anything to Kurt? The thing that hurts most of all about Kurt signing with Elle is that it feels like a personal rejection.


Blaine feels exhausted as he exits the elevator at Vogue's executive level. He has just given an impromptu press conference outside the Vogue building upon his arrival. It went pretty well, with 'We are sad to see Kurt Hummel go… It has nothing to do with the video on the Internet last weekend… There were many competitive offers before Fashion's Night Out…We wish Kurt Hummel every success in the future…'

"Wait till I get my hands on that bastard! Kurt will be sorry he was ever born," Tina exclaims when Blaine enters his office suite.

"Don't be too harsh on Kurt. It's been difficult for everybody since the diva-off. Can you arrange an emergency meeting for the management team at noon? We need to go over the next few issues to discuss their contents, without Kurt in the spreads."

Blaine can hear Tina mumbling as he enters his office, "And to think I thought Kurt was perfect for you."

On top of his desk is a formal notice from Wes informing him that Kurt will not be accepting Vogue's contract offer. There is also a huge vase of white lilies. He hunts around the bouquet, pulls out an envelope and reads the message in the enclosed sympathy card.

My thoughts are with you at your time of need – Sebastian

Blaine rips up the card and shouts out, "Tina! Get these flowers out of here – I don't want to see them anywhere in the building!"


After an intense management meeting, where Blaine asks everyone to focus on finding Vogue a new 'fresh face' model, he returns to his office. Blaine's so busy thinking about the effect of not having Kurt and Sam in upcoming issues that he startles when he hears Unique rushing into his office.

"Chandler! It's got to be him that took the video backstage at the diva-off. I came right over as soon as I figured it out," Unique exclaims, panting for breath.

"Slow down, girl. Sit down and calm yourself down. Can I get you some water?"

Unique nods and quickly sits down on the sofa, and continues talking as Blaine finds a seat on a nearby chair.

"Both Chandler and I have been on set this week, shooting for next month's issue. Chandler has been acting skittish and startles when someone approaches him. Chandler's acting strange, which is really saying something, because he's normally all sorts of strange. Anyways, I decided to return to the dressing area a little earlier at lunchtime to clean the make-up brushes. Before I entered the area, I could hear Chandler on the phone, and he wasn't happy." Unique stops to take a sip of water.

"Oh, really? Do tell," Blaine replies, prompting her to continue.

"I'm not sure who Chandler was talking to, but he was begging for a meeting. Chandler then went on to say that he doesn't feel safe and he's sure that everything will be linked back to him. Then I remembered that Chandler was loitering in the hallway backstage after the diva-off. You know, before I came back for the…umm…final touch-ups. He was also outside the backdoor when you left, and busy with his phone."

"That's very interesting, Unique. Thanks for letting me know. I didn't see Chandler, but then again, I had another person on my mind at the time. Leave it with me and I'll check it out."

After issuing instructions for Tina to summon Chandler to the office for a meeting, Blaine feels he can no longer put this off. He spends a few moments composing himself, going through what he is going to say in his mind. Then he picks up his phone and calls Kurt. To his surprise, Kurt answers on the first ring.

"Blaine," Kurt says sharply.

"Kurt."

"I take it you know by now."

"You think so? Couldn't you have had at least told me yourself?"

"It all happened so quickly. There were the paparazzi at my door…. And I had met with Sebastian earlier in the day who said he would help me, dangling the Elle contract in my face."

"You were with…. with Sebastian?"

"It doesn't matter who I was with, Blaine. What matters is that I was by myself. I needed you. I needed you around and you weren't there!"

"That's not fair, Kurt, and you know it. I've been working day and night to fix the damage caused by the video and we agreed not to talk until after the press conference. I've been calling you nonstop ever since."

"Oh, you mean the unfortunate incident? The one that you have distanced yourself from and have been telling your version of events about to the press?"

"You know that what's in the media is PR stuff. Kurt, we need to talk. That's why I suggested getting away this weekend."

"I'm not interested."

"What!? You're not interested in talking with me? You need to know…"

Kurt interrupts, "What are you going to tell me? That what went on in the dressing room after the diva-off was a mistake? That you want me to be your friend? Ugh! I can't deal with this right now! It was a stupid decision to talk to you. Rachel's right. I need to look after myself for a change."

Blaine is shocked to find that Kurt hangs up on him.


"Ouch! That sounds like it was a painful conversation."

Kurt quickly turns around from the window and replies, "Sebastian, I didn't know you were here."

"I hope you don't mind that I let myself in. The door was open. I see that the movers are almost finished here. Your furniture has been placed in storage until you figure out what to do with it."

"Oh… Right. I guess I'll sell it all. This apartment has everything I need. God, it's just another thing on my long list of things to do."

"Consider it done. I'll deposit the sale proceeds into your bank account. I've got a new phone for you, with a new number. You can decide who you give the number to… or not."

"Thanks… Ooh, wow. How did you get the new iPhone? It hasn't been released yet."

Sebastian smirks and replies, "I've got friends in low places. That's all you need to know. I've already added my contact details. Call me if you need me for anything. In the meantime, take the week off to settle in. Robin, the head of the photo and art department, will contact you about work next Monday."

After Sebastian has left, Kurt looks over his new phone, checking out the new features. He rolls his eyes when he sees that Sebastian had added himself in the contacts as sex on a stick.


"No worries, Sam. I figured you would move to LA to be with Mercedes. Look, it's probably not a good time anyways for you to return to New York. Give me your new address and I'll have Amy arrange for your stuff to be sent to you."

"Thanks, man. I knew you'd understand. Get someone to send me my work schedule and I'll return to New York City to be on set."

"Do you know what you plan to do at the end of the year when your contract is up for renewal?"

"Umm… I'm not sure. Mercedes and I are talking about it. She's concerned that if I continue to model for Vogue, that people are still gonna talk about us and Kurt. But I don't want to let you down, man. You're my bro. Can I let you know next month?"

"Sure, take all the time you need. I think you and Mercedes need to focus on what's best for your marriage."

"So what have you been doing with yourself lately? I haven't seen you in a few weeks," Sam asks.

"Not much, I've been feeling down for obvious reasons. How about you?"

"I'm learning to surf, but it's driving Mercedes crazy 'cause the chicks keep checking me out. But a crazy Mercedes is pretty hot! Otherwise, Mercedes has been putting in long hours at the recording studio, so I'm home by myself a lot."

"I know that feeling, Sam. It sucks."

"Not really. I've always liked doodling stuff and with surfing, it's given me an idea. A sort of comic about people who meet surfing on the weekends, hook up, and stuff like that."

"This isn't a modern-day Baywatch is it? I thought those days were long over."

"Nah. It's more like people who don't feel like they fit in but do when they find each other."


Early-October

Blaine groans as the sun hits his eyes when the curtains are suddenly opened, and he sees Amy standing at the foot of his bed.

"I don't have to be at work today. It's Columbus Day weekend. Actually, what are you doing here? You have the day off."

"Blaine, you've been moping around for a few weeks. I think I'll scream if I hear Adele sing one more song about break-ups. You've also been binging on ice-cream and junk food. Don't think for one moment that I don't notice the Cheeto dust around your mouth."

Blaine cheeks redden and he quickly wipes around his mouth. He thought he had been so careful sneaking in snacks but obviously not. He watches Amy rooting through his chest of drawers and pull out his running gear.

"Blaine, you need to go for a run and shake those cobwebs off. In the meantime, I'm going to prepare you a healthy breakfast. Then after you have eaten, I'd like a little talk with you." Amy pauses and then adds with a hesitant voice, "If that's okay with you?"

Blaine fondly rolls his eyes and replies, "Sure. It looks like a perfect morning for a run."


Blaine returns from his run, a little out of breath. He can't believe how out of shape he's become over the past few weeks. He looks around the penthouse, and it looks different now that Sam's stuff is moved out. Before he can dwell on how lonely he feels without Sam and Kurt in his everyday life, Amy pops her head out from the kitchen. "Go take a shower. Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes."

Blaine takes a quick shower, but spends the whole allotted time in the bathroom. He first shaves closely to remove any stubble. Then he squeezes a large dollop of hair product into the palm of his hand and carefully gels back his hair until it's smooth and slick. He's taken to gelling his hair on weekends – it makes him feel more in control on the outside. It's a reminder of years ago, when everything was going his way.

After a breakfast consisting of a power smoothie and a vegetarian omelet, Amy goes to the couch and pats the seat next to her. Blaine pours two mugs of coffee and joins her.

"I really hate to see you this way, Blaine. I know you're upset, but you need to pull yourself out of this slump before it starts to destroy you inside."

Blaine sighs deeply and slumps down to rest his head on Amy's shoulder. "I know; it's just… I've tried to call Kurt, but his phone number has been terminated. I've gone over to his place, but the neighbors told me he has moved out with no forwarding address. Kurt has even blocked me on his social media accounts. I've lost Kurt forever and I'm not sure what I did wrong. It… really hurts."

"You're grieving for someone you've lost. You won't believe me now, but over time, that hurt will slowly fade away. Everything has a way of working out, one way or the other. Your happiness doesn't depend upon one person or thing. You have to find happiness deep within yourself. You are a wonderful man and you will bounce back."

"Thanks, Amy. You're pretty wonderful too."

Amy pauses for a few minutes before she continues speaking. "Do you know what I liked best about Kurt? It wasn't anything particular about him – although Kurt's a remarkable young man. It was his effect on you. Instead of burrowing yourself away at work and going to those public events with Sam, he gave you strength to open up and try new things."

"Well, you're right about that. Kurt has given me an entirely new perspective on life. I had so much fun with him exploring new places and experiencing new things. I'm really going to miss our dates and knocking things off our bucket list."

"Who's to say that you can't still go on checking things off your list? Bucket lists don't just go away when you're on your own. I think you should find something to channel your energies into. Something that makes you happy and creative. Something you do just for yourself."

"I've always had music to help me through bad times, but when I sit down at the piano now, my fingers refuse to find the keys. I feel haunted by Kurt's voice singing 'Blackbird' to me."

"Then try a new hobby. You'll find your way back to music when you're ready."

Blaine mulls this over in his mind, because Amy's right – he has spent too much time wallowing. He thinks back to his conversation with Sam last week. Sam's trying out new things with his surfer comic idea, and who knows where that will lead. "Well, I do like a good crafts project. I haven't scrapbooked for a while. Maybe…"

Amy quickly interrupts. "Can I be honest? I don't think scrapbooking is a good idea right now. You'll focus on the past and the memories. You need to think about making new memories before you get the paper and stickers out."

"I guess you're right. But what else can I do?"

Amy rattles a list of potential hobbies that she has researched on the Internet over the past few days, and Blaine interrupts her when she says something that interests him.

"Photography?"

"When you think about it, photography's perfect. When you're taking photos, it makes you look at what's in front of you from a different perspective. Often you see things through the camera that you normally wouldn't notice. You can go out and have new experiences and capture new memories. If you get stuck for ideas, there are tons of communities on the Internet, including ones that give you a weekly challenge to complete."

"I love taking pictures with my phone, so maybe this isn't a bad idea."

"You can keep taking them with your phone, buy a fancy camera or take a course about the more technical aspects of photography. I'm sure that the camera guys at work can show you a trick or two."

"How did you get to be so smart?" Blaine asks.

"I don't know about that," Amy replies, blushing. "Remember, Blaine, you're not alone. There are a lot of people, including me, who want you to be happy and who are here to support you."

When Amy eventually leaves, Blaine feels a little bit better. He goes to the Internet and googles 'creative photography'.


"Chandler Kiel is here to see you," Tina announces.

"Send him in."

When Blaine looks up from his computer, he sees Chandler enter, trembling. Chandler glances at the casual seating area in the office, but Blaine indicates for Chandler to sit on the chair in front of his desk. When he sees Chandler squinting from the sunlight pouring through the window, Blaine adjusts the window blinds so Chandler's a little bit more comfortable. This isn't a CIA interrogation, after all.

"Why?"

"Why what?" Chandler responds with a trace of defiance.

"We can play this one of two ways. You either talk to me truthfully now about the video or we can have a meeting in an hour's time with the lawyers and the police. So, I'll ask you again - why?"

Chandler slumps in his chair and passes a hand over his face. "Ever since Kurt joined Vogue last February, you've had it in for me. I'm never involved in the important photo shoots anymore. Kurt gave me the cold shoulder when I was trying to be friendly. When someone else said he would take care of me if I gave him some information, I decided to take him up on the offer."

"You have been used on plenty of photo shoots, just not the ones where Kurt has been a model. Kurt told me you made him feel uncomfortable, that you were bombarding him with inappropriate texts."

"I was trying to make Kurt like me," Chandler whines.

"Kurt assured both me and HR that it wasn't a case of sexual harassment. So, it was decided to allow you to stay, but to remove you from any work where Kurt was the model. Now back to the video. How did you take the video?"

"I was coming backstage to talk to you about getting reinstated onto the important photo shoots. I figured you would be in a good mood after winning the diva-off. I could hear you talking to someone, so I cracked open the door to peek. When you were standing so close to each other and holding Kurt's hand against your heart, I decided to take a video."

Blaine sighs. He'd been so consumed in everything Kurt at the time that he hadn't noticed that the door was ajar. "The employment handbook contains a strict privacy policy about staff, which includes both Kurt and myself. Keeping my private life to myself is very important to me."

"Honestly, I didn't think he would put it up on the Internet."

"So who did post the video to the Internet?"

"Sebastian Smythe. You won't tell him I told you, will you?"

Blaine decides not to answer this question and pushes a letter across the table. "This is a letter of your employment termination. You will not be getting a reference letter. Go pack up your things and get out."

Once Chandler has dashed away, Blaine thinks about the video and the wreckage that it has caused. Blaine isn't surprised that it was Sebastian behind the video – he had expected it. If Kurt only knew how he had been manipulated. Sebastian has created this problem in order to get Kurt to move over to Elle magazine.

Blaine is faced with an important choice. He can hold on to his anger and bitterness – take legal action, find a way for Kurt to learn about the video's culprits, and seek revenge against Sebastian. However, that won't get him Kurt back - the damage is already done. Or Blaine can let the anger and bitterness go – get on with his life, be a better man than Sebastian, and lead Vogue to become the best fashion magazine based on its merits.

Tina buzzes the intercom "Do you want me to get Jenni in Legal?"

"Don't bother, Tina. It's not worth it."


"I'll summarize what we agreed in the meeting. The November issue goes as planned, pulling photos of Kurt from the spreads. December is the usual holiday issue and the main features will be one on cocktail dresses and an accessory gift guide for fashionistas."

Blaine looks around the table and sees the Vogue managers furiously typing notes. Everyone looks happy with the new plans for future issues. The dramas of the 'Klainegate' video and Kurt moving to Elle Magazine have blown over. The media is now focused on identifying the celebrity who was involved in a threesome – reported in the British tabloids, but not named.

"January will be the India-inspired theme. We'll send some staff to Mumbai to cover its Fashion Week, which is happening in a couple of weeks. Vogue India will be responsible for the main article and photo spread. We'll be looking outside our normal advertisers for this issue – Air India, travel agents and luxury resorts."

Blaine smiles at everyone and adds, "We'll have the issue wrapped up by mid-December so that everyone can have time off over the Christmas holidays if they want to. I don't know about you, but I could sure use some downtime. It's been a busy and crazy year."

When the meeting is over, Blaine leans over Isabelle and whispers, "Are you available for a drink after work? I need to talk to you."

"Sure, Blaine. Call me when you're ready to leave."


Once two glasses of wine and some nibbles have been served in the secluded booth, Isabelle immediately starts the conversation. "This is a great idea, Blaine. I don't feel as if we've had a chance to really talk since Fashion's Night Out. I've been worried about you. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay. The paparazzi aren't hassling me anymore. I don't envy the celebrity involved in the threesome when his name is found out. I'm glad that the New York Fashion week is now over. Thank god my mother came to New York to help me out. The press was a little bit more respectful about their questions with her by my side."

"Your mother is great. She could be a model herself."

"Please don't tell her that. You'll only give her ideas. Life's complicated enough at the moment."

"So, have you spoken to Kurt lately?"

"The last time we spoke was the day Elle announced that Kurt was their new model. Let's just say that the conversation didn't go very well. Kurt's so angry at me, like the whole video drama was my fault. I left it for a week for both of us to calm down and figure out where we go from here, but now his old phone number has been disconnected, and he's moved out of his apartment. He's left no way for me to contact him. So, Kurt is the one who'll have to get in touch with me if he wants to, but I'm not holding my breath for that one."

"You really care for Kurt, don't you?"

"I really do, and I always will, only, I've been reminded recently that I need to stay focused on myself."

"That sounds like a good idea, Blaine. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"As a matter of fact, there is. I feel like I need to get away from New York and everything that's happened over the past month. I enjoyed myself on my trip to India last March – meeting people at the local Vogue office, talking to designers and figuring out the fashion trends. Since I was the driving force behind the India-inspired issue for January, it feels like my baby. I want to go to India with the crew in a few weeks' time."

"That's a great idea. I agree you need to get out of New York and I think you should go. Besides, having the Anderson touch on location will make for a better issue."

"If you're willing, I'd like you to take over things in New York while I'm gone. I trust your judgment in wrapping up the November issue."

"I'm honored that you've asked me. I'm more than happy with that."

"I knew I could count on you," Blaine replies as he pours them another glass of wine.

"When was the last time you have taken a vacation?" Isabelle asks.

"Not since last Christmas. Why do you ask?"

"If you're going all the way to India for its Fashion Week, why don't you take an extra week or two for yourself and relax? I think it would do you good to spend time there without work pressure and responsibilities."

"Now that you mention it, a vacation sounds really, really good right now. I've always wanted to see the Taj Mahal. Last March, people were telling me about old Raj palaces that have been converted into hotels. They sound pretty cool. So yeah, a trip to Agra and Rajasthan sounds perfect. Do you mind holding down the fort for an extra two weeks? You would also be responsible for getting the December issue finalized."

"Of course not, Blaine. I can do articles about cocktail dresses and gift fashion accessories in my sleep."

After warm hugs goodbye, Blaine walks towards the office to meet Bentley, thinking about things he needs to pack for a three-week trip. Along the way he sees a hanging sign for a camera shop. He notices that the 'Open' sign is still hanging on the window, and with a sense of excitement, he enters the shop.


Author's notes

The KurtBigBang (dot tumblr dot com) started last week and there are already some really great stories posted. Completed stories, 15k word minimum, Kurt is the main character, artwork and/or videos, and all ships. I had the privilege of being the beta for Lilyvandersteen's story, "Picture Perfect" which was posted last Sunday. I encourage you all to read it.

Next up: Kurt at Elle Magazine.