A/N: I know it's been a long time. For those interested in excuses I was finishing up the last book in my original quartet before my baby was born and then I just had no desire to write. Now I have a two week old infant and very little sleep so I don't know how often I will manage to post. I will be trying to work on this story again. Thank you to all of you who hung in there to wait for me to start writing again!
The walk back up to the palace two days after Kas' ceremony and reception was far better than Kel had anticipated. True to his word, Dom had sent a discreet runner with a package for Kas that had contained several changes of clothing for her. She had left two changes behind in the drawers of his wardrobe for any nights she hoped to spend in the future, and had saved the last outfit for her walk home. She was happy to discover that the stairs didn't bother her as much as she thought they would, but then again, she was no longer as stiff as she had been. Between the exercises Baird had given her and the massages Kas had felt the need to give her when he noticed her stiffness, she had found herself in a considerably good place.
She tried to remember to school her face down into her more natural blank mask or even just to mild happiness as she crossed through the palace gates, but whenever she thought to think of her face, she found her smile had grown again. But when she reached her rooms, she found her good mood fouled. Neal was standing there, arms crossed, a stern look on his face, and tapping his toe against the floor in his agitation.
"And where, pray tell, have you been the last two days?" He demanded when he saw her.
"With Kas celebrating his elevation to Master," Kel crossed her own arms. She had hoped that he would have given up on this but with the way he opened her door and pointed inside, she knew they'd be discussing it once again. She walked into her room and let Neal follow her inside. He closed the door quietly behind them and steered her towards a couch. "Neal, for once, can you recognize that I'm an adult and able to make decisions for myself in my love life?" She tried.
"Just sit," he told her. There was a weariness in his voice that made her at least believe that there might not be so many dramatics as dramatics took energy he did not seem to have. She sat and waited as he raked a hand through his hair and then sat next to her. "First, do you have anything that needs to be seen to? Any tearing? Aches? Bruising?" He asked.
"My leg is fine. In fact, it feels much better. Those exercises your father taught me are wonderful," Kel stopped when Neal held up a hand.
"I meant in more intimate areas, not your leg," he nodded to the space between her legs and her lower abdomen. "If a man is of size and not careful, he can cause tearing. If he isn't properly gentle, he can leave bruises. And I can ease any aches that are a natural part of losing your virginity." He didn't even blush as he spoke, telling Kel he was completely in his healer persona.
"No tearing, no bruising," Kel informed Neal. "Kas isn't a brute if that is what you are getting at." She rolled her eyes at him and his comment about a man not being properly gentle. Kas had been perfectly gentle with her to begin with and even after he had lost some of the gentleness, he had not hurt her.
"I'm not calling him a brute," Neal shot her a look that told her she was wrong about his meaning. "When a man finally gets what he wants, if he's waited for it, he can get over excited. I know I bruised Yuki a little, inside of her thighs and where I was gripping her hips that first night. I know you weren't his first so he might have had a better idea of his strength than I had about mine, but he's waited some time for you."
"And you would know that how?" Kel demanded.
"I asked Dom about when he actually first approached him about you. You were a squire, a fairly young squire, when he noticed you and started making inquiries," Neal tried.
"I was not that young. I was sixteen," Kel reminded him. "Noble women start to marry at that age and commoners are usually married and have families by that age." Kas had been completely honest with her about how long he had had interest in her when she had inquired back when they had first started courting.
"My point is that it's been four years of him waiting for you. It had to have taken some sort of toll on his patience in bed. I'm not judging. I'm simply telling you that it's natural and I want to help fix what I can." Neal reached for her hands to hold them. "You can be honest with me, Kel, I won't judge. There is no 'I told you so' coming."
"Neal, I'm not in pain. I don't think there is any bruising, at least not any I can see or feel," Kel felt a blush rise to her cheeks. "My aches from the first time are gone. Despite waiting so long, as you pointed out, Kas was very considerate."
"Well, he was better to you than I'm sure Cleon would have been," Neal shifted to stand. "I bet he would have been a brute for your first time. He probably would have turned you away from bedding altogether if he had been given the chance to have you."
"Do you have such lack of faith in my choice of sweethearts?" Kel demanded.
"No, but Cleon was young, and inexperienced, and self-indulgent in his own right. He likely wouldn't have considered you and your needs until after he had taken everything," Neal brushed his hands over his tunic.
Kel realized Neal was likely correct in his thinking. Cleon had practically abused her mouth in kissing the first few times and had blamed it on having wanted it for so long. It was likely he would have done exactly as Neal had said and only considered her after. She doubted he would have coaxed her through losing her virginity the way Kas had.
"Did Yuki really give all of that much detail about my preferences in the bedroom?" Neal asked, breaking through her thoughts.
"Yes," Kel tried to smooth her face into a blank mask again. She didn't want to blush remembering how much she knew about him in such intimate ways. "I was a bit shocked by how much women talk."
"Anything you are going to be sharing with her about Kas? Any quirks he has? Names he likes to be called perhaps? Positions he favors?" Neal teased.
"Kas simply prefers I call out his name. He said he doesn't want me to be able to think enough to come up with anything but his name," she barely managed to keep the blush from her cheeks as Neal's mouth opened and closed several times while he searched for a response. "As for positons, if you truly want to know," she stopped when Neal held up a hand.
"No, I don't want to know," he told her. "I'm sure I'll hear enough from Yuki if she decides to torment me at all after you gossip with her." He took a step towards the door. "Roald is a little mortified by what you may or may not know now as well. I did somewhat enjoy having that conversation with him. It seemed he was under the impression his wife was docile to the point she wouldn't talk about his bedroom performance. No doubt he's looking for ways to either black mail you in return should you decide to bring that information to light or for ways to placate you."
"He has nothing to worry about, unlike you," Kel told Neal as she followed him to the door.
"Oh?" Neal turned to look back at her.
"I can gossip to a select few about you and be safe from the general population of court while still torturing you. On the other hand, if I gossip about Roald, the general population of court will believe we have slept together for me to have those details. I have no desire to give them more to believe I am a whore and I do not wish to tarnish Roald's reputation like that."
"Bedding you would not tarnish his reputation," Neal informed her. "You are quite the catch, Keladry of Mindelan, and Kas is lucky to have caught you."
"Were you just here to see if I had been brutalized?" Kel asked as Neal opened the door.
"No," Neal turned back to her. "I meant to ask if you'd be a Godsparent to my child alongside Dom when he or she is born. But if you choose to slander my character, I shall retract that offer."
"Take those charms out from under my mattress and never put them back. Then I will pretend I've never heard the name Duke Stallion," she nodded back to her bedroom.
"What charms?" Neal winked at her and walked out into the hall, his hands jammed into his pockets as he strolled away.
Kel turned and went back to her bedroom to lift the mattress. No trace of the charms were on the frame at all. It was both a comfort and a source of frustration simply because she knew that Neal had broken into her rooms again while she had been gone. With a growl about friends not respecting her privacy, she gathered up her glaive and long sword to take down to the practice courts. Since she was clear to practice, she was going to actually get some work in.
Dom found her on the practice courts with a grin and stepped up to do drills against her. They worked in silence for the most part, conserving their energies and concentration for the work at hand rather than for talking or hurling insults and taunts as most warriors tended to do. It wasn't until they were done working that Dom gave her a sheepish smile.
"I thought you'd at least be a little rusty after all of that time not being able to do any sort of practice. Now I'm starting to question if you were breaking restrictions the whole time to have somehow improved," he told her honestly when she questioned the smile.
"I've spent years on drills and pattern dances, Captain Domitan," she informed him in reproach. "If I let a couple of months of mandated rest get me out of practice while still following the good healers' orders, I'd be a poor knight indeed."
"Well, I hope that means I'll get to abuse you and your skills again soon. I think Raoul intends for us to be moving out again at some point and I know I'd feel better with you out there at my side," Dom sighed. "That is, unless you've decided to give up this mad notion of being a field knight now that you've discovered what your man has to offer in the ways of pleasure." His grin became far more wild and Kel felt a small blush rise up her neck and cheeks at the suggestion.
She knew she'd be hearing things like that more often now that it was clear she and Kas were a couple. The comment would be mixed in with the common slanders she was already hearing about her lack of reputation and with the slanders Kas was already hearing about trying to gain something by sleeping with a noble. She knew Dom simply meant it as a tease that she wouldn't like spending so long away from her lover, but others would say it and mean that she was fickle about her decisions or that she had finally realized her place after being dominated by a man.
"You do not need to be saying things like that to her," she heard Kas' voice and felt the smile start to tug on her lips again. She had thought she wouldn't see him for a few days as he took a day to get his new forge set up before starting his actual work as a Master Swordsmith and while he started his work. They had spoken in depth about her coming down to spend the nights with him still but his being unsure of when he would return home at night had stalled that idea. She had assured him it wasn't an issue to simply wait in his apartment for him to come home since he had given her a key, but he had expressed not wanting her to be bored while waiting for him either. But here he was, leaning against the fence of the practice courts with his dark eyes fixed on Dom.
"I meant no true insult," Dom held his hands up in surrender as he met Kas' eyes. "I know very well that Kel would be hard put to leave behind any notion of field work. No true commander would be able to simply walk away. It's a fault I know we both share." He looked back at Kel. "I'll take my leave now, or I'll get myself in more trouble teasing you when he's decided to be protective."
Kel simply rolled her eyes at Dom as he took his leave and retreated out the other side of the practice courts. Yes, Kas was putting off the air of being a protective male, but she also knew he was well aware that Dom was only teasing. But rather than focus on that, she turned her attention to Kas and why he was not at his forge getting himself set up properly. It had only been a couple of hours since she had left him walking to the Raven Armory while she walked back to the palace.
"I've been thinking about what we talked about the morning after my reception," he blushed as he spoke. There had been very little talking the last couple of days as he had taken it upon himself to make sure she never felt inadequate in the bedroom by showing her exactly how to give and receive pleasure. "I'd like to get a better look at your glaive and how you use it. I know it's not necessarily fitting of a swordsmith to be thinking of polearms but it's a market not truly being explored in Tortall. Those wanting to use one shouldn't have to send to Yaman when they want a proper weapon. Not to mention, I can do both swords and glaives once I get an idea of how one is made properly."
"I'm not sure the exact way to construct a glaive," Kel said as she handed the weapon in question over to him. "Perhaps Shinko, Yuki, or even Lady Haname might possibly know a little more."
"I know how this is put together," Kas said looking it over. "It's the same with most polearms. But it's getting the weight and balance down properly that make for some level of difficulty. Especially if I decide to make the blade a little more designed." He handed the glaive back to her. "I'd like to see you use it, if you aren't too exhausted. I must have missed your use of it earlier."
"How long were you watching?" She demanded. Normally she tried to ignore people watching her in the practice courts as they did tend to watch, but it unnerved her that she hadn't noticed Kas watching her at all.
"Long enough to get an idea for your style with the sword," Kas said climbing over the fence to lean against it from the inside. "Are you too tired? I can certainly take you to midday instead and find another time to use this as an excuse to sneak away and see you."
"What would you like to see?" She asked stepping back to give herself a safe distance from Kas.
"You said you do pattern dances to practice. How about a few of those?" Kas settled in against the fence with his arms crossed over his chest.
Kel decided to do a slow dance to begin with, meant to show strength and grace. The second dance she chose was to show off the range of motions a glaive could do as it switched between sweeps and jabs. The third dance she picked purely for speed until the blade was a silver blur and the staff was a longer darker blur. When she finished she turned to look directly at Kas who was giving her and the glaive an appraising look.
"Was that enough or do you need more?" She asked, moving to lean against the staff to catch her breath. If he needed more she would need to ask him to wait a while until she had rested some. Already she was certain she had exceeded what she was actually allowed to do as far as weapons practice for the first actual day of doing them.
"That's enough for now," Kas held out his hands to her. "How about we get you cleaned up and then I take you some place nice for midday?" He strode forward to take her glaive from her and wrapped an arm around her waist to steer her towards the gate.
"What happened to setting up your forge today?" Kel demanded.
"Master Reeves said if I came back today he'd throw me out personally. Which is fine, because you may be leaving me soon with a call now that you are almost cleared for active duty again. I need to make sure I get as much time in with you as possible." He leaned down to press his lips against her temple. "And after you left this morning, I wanted so badly to chase you down and make you come back. I don't think I'll ever get enough of you. So right now, I'll take any good excuse I can to come offer myself to you."
Kel smiled and let Kas pull her in a little closer as they entered the palace and turned into the hallway that would eventually lead to her rooms. Part of her wished that Kas would have waited until she was already cleaned up before coming up to the palace. His apartment, while it had a wash tub, did not offer a decent chance for a true bath. The tub was too small to do more than catch the water one poured over themselves while they stood in it. So a true bath had been one of the things she had been looking forward to at the palace, especially after her time in the practice courts working up a proper sweat. But she could and would easily wash up with a basin of water to speed things along to spend the most amount of time with Kas. While she wasn't about to abandon her career for even someone as wonderful as Kas, she certainly wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before she had to leave again as well.
When they reached her rooms, Kel made to go about cleaning her weapons but Kas stopped her. "Go clean up, I will take care of these," he told her as he took her sword from her as well.
She let him take them, knowing he knew how to care for the weapons probably better than she did. She may have had years of practice cleaning and sharpening blades but he made a living on it. When she made to go into the privy he stopped her once more. "Are you not going to call for a bath?"
"A bath would be nice, but spending time with you is far better," she tried to explain.
"Call for a bath," he told her with a grin. "I don't intend on leaving you alone while you bathe. In fact, I think it would give me plenty to remember at night when you do leave me again."
Kel felt the fizzy warmth spread through her at the thought of what Kas was suggesting. It wasn't likely he could join her in the bath simply due to his size but she knew what he could do to her with his hands if he had a mind to touch her. Even just the thought of him watching her had her reeling somewhat. He had proven over the last several days that things that worried her about her appearance such as her scars or her muscular body were things he either didn't seem to notice at all or actually found attractive at look at. He made her feel desirable and this request he was giving for her to call for a bath had her changing directions to find a servant to order one from.
By the time the bath arrived, Kas was done cleaning and stowing her weapons back in their respective places on the weapons rack and completely ready to give her his full attention. To her disappointment, he refrained from touching her at all as she scrubbed her skin and hair in the water.
"I'm being good," he told her when he must have caught the look of disappointment she didn't quite hide. "If I do more than watch you right now, I know we will never make it anywhere to eat midday. In fact, I doubt we'd make it anywhere it eat dinner either."
"We could have midday and dinner brought in here rather than go anywhere," Kel tried but Kas shook his head.
"I'd feel better with you in my apartment rather than here for that sort of attention. Far too many listening ears at the palace for my liking," he sighed. "You don't need that sort of gossip going on about you."
"The gossips already know you've spent the night. They already peddle around that we've been bedding. They've been saying it since I met you," Kel reminded him. "They've been saying I've been sleeping with men since I was ten."
"Well, I'd rather not give them actual proof that you're finally allowing a man to have you," Kas came to sit next to the tub.
"I can't necessarily say it's allowing a man to have me that was the issue. You're just the only man ever interested in me to that extent," Kel reminded him. She knew Cleon had been interested in her in that fashion, but without the heat of the moment in some of their more passionate kisses, he had been reluctant to go against noble tradition of taking her virginity before marriage.
"I know you well enough to know you wouldn't have just handed yourself over to just any interested man. If that was the case, My Beautiful Kel, you would have found plenty of opportunities to find your way into the beds of men. But you waited and I find myself exceptionally lucky that I somehow was the one to coax you out. So I'm not going to allow eavesdropping ears a chance to belittle what we have."
"We might not have that sort of luxury," Kel sighed. "People will talk whether we give them something to actually talk about or not."
"Even if that is so, I'd rather have you where I feel there is some level of privacy," he leaned over to kiss her. "Can I talk you into spending the night again tonight?"
"Eventually, I will need to spend the night here. Once I'm cleared to join the Own again, I'll need to be accessible to them if a call comes in the middle of the night," Kel informed him as she stood to get out of the tub.
"When that time comes, I'll be up here with you as much as possible. But until then, I want you where your friends can't find us and no one picks the lock," he held out her drying cloth for her. "And where there are no charms under the bed to keep track of my time spent in the bed with you."
"Well, on that last part I can assure you there are no more charms on my bedframe. Neal was here this morning to make sure you hadn't brutalized me and to tell me the charms were gone." She stepped into Kas' arms as he helped rub the drying cloth over her skin to take away the moisture while pulling her closer to him.
"Does he think so lowly of commoners that he thought I would hurt you?" Kas demanded.
"No, he simply thought you had waited far too long to bed me and wouldn't have had control of yourself," Kel grinned up at him. "I didn't tell him you've taken lovers in the four years you've been asking Dom about me."
"I hadn't had a lover for a year before I properly met you," he told her. "Even then it was no one that ever made me as happy as you do, and certainly not ever someone that I enjoyed in bed so much."
Kel felt her cheeks burn with a blush. She wanted to believe he was simply flattering her, but the way he was looking at her told her he wasn't. And even then he seemed to be aware she didn't fully believe him.
"When you come to visit me at work, I can't help but feel like the luckiest man in the world that you are there to see me. When I sleep beside you at night, I find myself hating the sunrise because it marks the time I have to let you go so we can both wake up. When I have you in my arms, I don't want to let you go. And when I'm making love to you, I feel like the gods have blessed me." He bent down to capture her lips. "And I have no doubts that when you leave on your next call, I'm going to be begging the gods to return you to me."
Kel buried her face against his shoulder rather than let him see how red her cheeks were with his little speech. If she had heard Neal say something of the sort to Yuki or about Yuki, she would have mocked him for being overly poetic. But when Kas said it in such a matter of fact way, she couldn't help but believe he wasn't attempting for the sake of being poetic or overly romantic; he was simply just saying how he felt.
"I love you," she murmured into his shoulder.
"And I love you," he responded. Then his hands shifted on the drying cloth to pull it away from her body. "Now, let's get you ready for midday so I can take you home with me and lock us in for the night."
