Yuuri's head fell against the train wall with a dull thump. He was not only physically but emotionally tired.

And he still hadn't made a decision.

He drew in a long breath as he watched the familiar landscape of Japan rush before his eyes. It made him a little nauseous as the world spun in colours around him. He had spent the last three months of his college studying for his final exams, and when he wasn't studying he was at the rink.

His nerves were failing him again as they drew closer and closer to Hasetsu. He could see the castle now and he was mesmerized by the shades of pink dancing on the cherry blossom trees. Dread weighted on his stomach, thoughts drifting towards his friends and family.

Then to Vicchan.

He was finally able to come home and see Vicchan. Yuuri found himself again with tears in his eyes and quickly wiped them away, he wasn't about to cry in public. He honestly just wanted to go home, see Vicchan and crawl into bed. A sigh fell past his lips before he closed his eyes, knowing it would be another twenty minutes before they were at the station.

Yuuri watched as the train pulled away. He was home. But I didn't feel like it. It felt like the farthest thing from it. He watched people coming and going as he moved toward the escalator. So much had changed in this little town that even the train station now had elevated platforms. He slid his travel mask down as he descended the platform.

Five years.

It didn't seem like a long time until he thought about it. That was when it saw it. He was stunned. Shock soaked every feature of his expression. His face had been practically plastered on the wall opposite the escalator.

"Yuuuuuri~! Why are you sulking around?"

The poor ravenet skater practically jumped out of his skin as the sound of his name pulled him from his thoughts. He'd almost recognize that voice anywhere, the shock continued as he realized that she, of course, would have information about his homecoming.

"Minako-sensei!"

The brunette beamed brightly, twirling around with her sign in hand. As she held it outstretched, pink lettering that read his name was displayed.

"Welcome back, after five long years!"

A sigh left Yuuri's lips, he expected Okaasan or even Mari-neechan. He slowly shifted back into auto-pilot. He could hear the whispers. Yes, he was Katsuki Yuuri. A failure of a Japanese Figure skater. Before he knew what else was going on, Minako was yelling at him about being nice to his fans.

It took more time than he wanted to escape the train station. Minako was dragging him through the terminal, heading for the parking lot. He barely registered asking her if she had a ballet class today. She rattled off something about Hasetsu losing more and more people.

"You should cheer things up around here, Yuuri!"

He stopped. Which forced Minkao to stop.

"I...I'm sorry… I'm really tired right now."

That's right, he was tired. The feeling of being an overwhelming failure at the one thing he has been doing his entire life. It was crushing. He kept feeling the weight get heavier and heavier. Yuuri's body physically ached because of the display at the Grand Prix. And it wasn't that he didn't want to see everyone, who were so excited to have him home. He didn't want everyone seeing him.

The car ride back to the onsen was sat in silence. Every time Minako would try to bring up some sort of conversation, the ravenet skater would reply with a otwo-wordo word answer and then fall silent. While he was finally back home, he was struggling to find the excitement as he called out from the front entrance.

"I'm back…"

A small weight fell off as he saw his mom come jogging in from the main dining room. He was happy to see her happy. He cruised through their conversation, when suddenly he felt a burning gaze upon him. Every fiber of his being was telling him not to look left. Do. Not. Look. Left.

There was that oh so familiar sensei voice. Oh was she upset. Yuuri crouched down in an attempt to make a run for it but she got a hold of him. He didn't realize she was so fast.

Hat. Mask. Scarf. Backpack. Coat.

They all went flying before the sound of Minako's shrill voice echoed the small entry way. Just another thing he was disappointed in himself for. The weight gain. It didn't help that he gained so easily. But then the depression did not help.

Minako was back to yelling, pointing out the fact to Otosan this what not the body a figure skater should have. It made him so uncomfortable.

Vicchan. Bed. Vicchan then Bed. That's all he kept reminding himself in his head as the conversation proceeded forward. He took a moment to interrupt his father talking about Katsudon.

"But before that…"

Yuuri saw his mom's face soften. She knew. She always knew.

"Go say Hi to Vicchan."

It was the moment Yuuri has been waiting for. A moment to excuse himself from everyone now that they had been greeted.

He had a quiet talk with Vicchan, just like he used to before he left for college. Then another conversation, a reminder of the reality he was facing as he talked with Mari-neechan, who up until that point was giving him his space.

His family's onsen was simply divine. He wanted to stay in that hot water that washed his worries away. That crushing burden. Melted away in the heat of the spring.

It wasn't long before Yuuri found himself running down the familiar road towards the Ice Castle. He really wasn't expecting to head to the rink the day he arrived back home, but everything seemed right. Something was telling him to go. He was jogging across the bridge when the sunset caught his breath.

Pinks and purples. The gulls chirping in the background. He smiled. He felt like he was escaping into the sunset.

Yuuri was surprised when he walked into the Ice Castle that his familiar rink mate was still working there after five years.

"Excuse me…"

He sounded timid. There was always the ring of disappointment in the back of his ear.

"Our regular hours are over…"

Then their eyes met and the small brunette gasped. Yuuri smiled again. They chatted as the ravenet put his skates on.

He took a deep breath.

"Yu-chan…. Do you have a moment?"

He could see the curiousity in her eyes as she followed him towards the rink. Yuuri removed his guards and set them on the barrier, stepping out onto the ice. He turned in a half circle and approached Yuko. Sliding off his glasses, he folded them and placed them in her hand.

"Um...I wanted you to see this… so I've been practicing it since the competitions ended… Please watch."

With that said, Yuuri disappeared off the the center of the ice.

It was deathly silent, but he could hear the music perfectly. He had wished he had brought his phone with him. But it wouldn't hinder his performance any.

Yuuri could have sworn for a moment there, all the colours in the rink got brighter. Everything was crisper, sharper.

The Japanese skater had no idea what was going on. He felt suddenly relaxed, at ease. He made the first jump.

Quadruple lutz. Flawless.

There was a brief moment of sequence where Yuuri felt as if he was actually hearing the music. The next jump was coming up.

Quadruple flip. Seamless.

His heart soared as he landed. It was racing faster than he knew and he knew his mind was playing tricks on his now as he heard the unfamiliar roar of the crowd.

He felt free as he spun the combination spin. Every bit of doubt and worry. Disappointment and fear vanished. A small smile cross his lips as he coasted, one leg outstretched. He felt like he was dancing with someone. Lifting his spirits. He leapt into a single spin, falling into a sit as he landed, still twisting.

Yuuri glided peacefully across the ice. It was an elegant affair, this small segment of steps. Why couldn't he have danced like this at the grand prix. There was that little devil of doubt again as the next jump came up.

Quadruple salchow. Perfect.

Next was the easy part. Yuuri felt like he was floating. There was something magical as he pushed through the intricate step sequence. Triple lutz combo triple loop. Simple. Beautiful. Triple lutz. Triple Flip. When was the last time Yuuri landed so many jump? How was he giving such a flawless performance now, why not three months ago?

He chuckled inside his head. Maybe he just needs to think of Viktor whenever he skates. Yuuri took a deep breath, last jump. Maybe his luck had finally wore out and he'd flub this last jump.

Quadruple loop, step, triple loop. Absolutely immaculate.

Yuuri watched the world spin and the music began to die down and before he knew it, it was over and he was staring at the ceiling of the ice castle. A little winded but riding a high that came from nowhere. It took Yuuri a moment to adjust, the colours that were so bright before had dulled back to when he had first got there.

Oh! Chocolate hues immediately turned to Yuko. She looked awestuck.

"That was super cool! A perfect copy of Viktor! Awesome!"

She was slamming her hands on the barrier in excitement.

"I thought you'd be depressed or something."

A bashful smile came over Yuuri's face. She had no idea. The depression had been overwhelming. Even up to the point when he stepped out onto the ice here.

"I was… But then I got bored of feeling depressed, so I got to thinking…"

The ravenet was remembering the conversation he had with Phichit.

"I wanted to get my love for skating back… I thought I could remember how it was when I copied Viktor with you. Yu-chan… I've… I've always…"

He finally forced himself to look back up at her when three addtional heads appeared. Blue, purple, and pink.

"OH! Axel, Lutz, Loop! Haven't they grown since you last saw them?"

Yuuri was surprised. He wasn't aware that there were other's still here. He wondered if Takeshi was there, as well.

"Y-yeah.."

"Yuuri, you really did get fat!"

Lutz chirped up, that was the thing with children. They could surprise you with whatever words flowed out of their mouth.

"Are you really retiring?"

Loop followed her sister's suit.

"You've never had a girlfriend?"

Axel finished the bombardment. And there was the set.

"HEY!"

Yuuri laughed as he watched the four interact. That was when he heard the last one skate up behind him. Ah, now all the Nishigori's were there. It was nice seeing them again, however he did not appreciated how Takeshi teased him still. But, he knew deep down that the family was one of his biggest fans and supporters.

This time, Yuuri snuck into the onsen through the back, avoiding customers and his family completely. It was nice to just be alone. He was feeling better after skating for Yuko. The ravenet nestled into his bed, setting an alarm for the morning, he was set on getting back into shape.

During the five years I was away, I tried to ignore a lot of things by focusing on skating. I wonder what I need so I can keep skating on my own…

Hasetsu was a beautiful seaside town. And the dancing cheery blossoms painted the landscape in pastel pinks. Yuuri smiled, gaze extending out as he looked to the ocean blues of the early morning, glad to be home.