Chapter 16

Bellamy rose from the chair, putting as much distance between himself and Clarke as the small room would allow and turned to face her. His lips trembling, eyes wide.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I didn't ask you to do that. Hundreds of people died. I didn't need you to do that! " Bellamy spat the last words at Clarke, searching her face. "For God's sake at least tell me you would have warned Octavia if you had seen her?" Bellamy demanded, waving the bottle at Clarke.

Clarke looked at him not dropping his gaze. She planted both feet on the floor and pushed up from the seat, her shoulders back, squaring off in front of him. He took a step back. "Octavia took me to the Commander. I didn't tell her anything even when she asked me what was wrong." Clarke held her chin up, her eyes defiant. Only a slight tremble in her voice betrayed her. "I left your sister there to die!"

Clarke breathed heavily, but did not break eye contact with Bellamy. For a moment she thought he was going to smash the bottle against the wall. Finally, eyeing her the entire time, he took another long slug.

"You were the key to everything Bellamy. If you had died we would have all died. Including Octavia and everyone in the Mountain." Clarke's voice was cold and under control.

"So you let a bomb drop on a Grounder Village with our people in it. Who gave you the right to make a decision like that for us?" Bellamy asked, the calmness in his voice betrayed by dangerous set of his jaw. "Don't tell me you actually started to believe you were in charge?"

"I was in charge!" Clarke hissed, pointing her finger at Bellamy. "After you went into the Mountain who else was supposed to be in charge, my mother?" Clarke raised her eyebrow incredulously, " She didn't have to guts to do what needed to be done, and I didn't know if I would ever see you again, but I had to try."

Clarke reached across the space between them and snatched the bottle out of his hand. She took a long swig and turned her back on him for a moment, composing herself. When she turned back her face was softer, but more conflicted. "I didn't want you to go into that mountain, remember? I thought you were going in there to die. For nothing".

"Then why did you tell me to go?" Bellamy shook his head at her, voice cracking with emotion.

"Because you were right, we needed an inside man. Because I was being weak. Because love is weakness." Clarke shrugged her shoulders and turned and walked to the bed sitting down on it heavily. Putting her head into her hands and running her fingers through her hair.

Following her Bellamy scooped up the bottle and drained the last drop, before throwing it onto the chair. He remembered her saying something like that to him before.

"Love is weakness?" He said towering over her, "Love isn't weakness Clarke. Who told you that? What is it even supposed to mean? I trusted you Clarke. I believed in you. And you left my sister to die. You betrayed me."

Clarke looked up at him through dark lashes wet with unshed tears. "If I had warned everyone then The Mountain Men would have known we had a spy inside. They would have started hunting you. I couldn't let you die. We needed you to disable the acid fog."

"Crap Clarke!" Bellamy's voice was harsh. "I knew as soon as you rode off to warn everyone my cover was blown. It was only a matter of time before they came looking for me anyway. I killed one of their guards. It's a small place, he had a kid. His family were going to miss him soon enough. Why did you even ride over there if you weren't going to warn anyone."

A then it dawned on him who she had ridden off to warn. Who she had asked to see as soon as she arrived. The Commander. Rage filled him.

"So Octavia was right. You and the Commander had a thing. Jesus Clarke I thought you were heartbroken over Finn, your lover, your friend, and that was why you couldn't lose me too. But you were already banging someone else?" The disdain in Bellamy's voice was like a whip striking at Clarke. "She killed Finn."

Clarke shot up from the bed unsteadily and had to grab onto Bellamy's arms to stop from falling back. "Finn killed himself. I did my best to save him. I loved him. But I wasn't in love with him." Clarke reached up to touch Bellamy's cheek. She stroked it gently for one moment before pushing him away from her with both hands.

"That's why I couldn't go back into camp Bellamy. You're the one I couldn't face. Not when I knew you would find out what I did to save you. To save us. What I did." Tears were streaming down Clarke's face as she faced the demon she had been running from.

"When I started riding all I could think about was warning everyone. But I started thinking. They would have figured out you were there Bellamy. I wanted to buy you some more time. I was hoping Lexa would have some clever idea for getting everyone out and not giving you up. But she didn't." Clarke threw her hands up in the air. "It wasn't easy to justify not warning people because of the bigger picture. But that's what Lexa told herself, that's what she told me."

Clarke wrung her hands. Bellamy didn't know if he'd ever seen her do that before. "If that was really why I did it, I could live with myself. But it's not true. That's not why I left your sister there to die. Why I nearly killed my own mother."

Bellamy looked at her bewildered only really understanding half of what she was saying. He grabbed her shoulders and pleaded with her to make him understand. "Why?"

"I let them all burn to save you! I could not bear it if I was the reason you died. Not when there was something I could do to save you." Clarke said, the fire leaving her as she slumped back onto her bed, dragging bellamy who was still clutching her shoulders down onto the floor in front of her.

"But O?" He said quietly.

She looked up at him and placed both her hands on his cheek again. "I chose you. Turns out I can't live with that either."

Bellamy didn't know what to say. He leant back forcing her hands to drop and stood. He walked away, back to the chair and sat down. He thought for a moment and then said. "So Octavia was wrong when she thought there was something between you and Lexa?"

The look on Clarke's face declared that it wasn't that simple, but he was too tired to ask. As he sank into the chair, the effects of the alcohol were catching up with him. It was strong. Stronger than he was used to. He leant his head back onto the cushion and closed his eyes to think. Clarke was crying on her bed. Should he go to her? Did he want to?

Bright sunlight hit his eyelids making the world turn red. He opened them cautiously. He was alone in the bunker, cold winter light streaming through the open hatch.

The ground above was covered in sparkling ice crystals that dazzled as they crunched between his toes. He could see her footprints clearly leading towards the ravine.

The tree stood in stark contrast against the cloudless blue sky. There was something dark lying in the snow beneath its bare branches. Bellamy bent to pick up Mr Monty's wallet. Inside he found the faded picture of the once happy family.

Clarke's scream filled the air. His heart pounding he lunged the last few steps to the edge of the ravine and looked down.

Below him the white room was packed with cages. They lined the floors and walls and hung from the ceiling. Harsh lighting cast sharp shadows that loomed and retreated as if pulsing with a life of their own.

"Bellamy!"

He looked to the right. Octavia rattled the bars of her cage. Her face flooding with relief as he turned to her.

"Get us out!"

Clarke's voice made his head whip to the opposite side of the room. She was in a larger cage with some of the delinquents. He could see Raven sat in a corner cradling Murphy's bloody head in her lap. Monroe appeared to be tying something around his thigh.

The sound of heavy breathing echoed through the chamber. A shadow appeared on the wall behind the Delinquents. Large horns and snout with a hunched back. The sound of hoofs echoing from everywhere at once.

Bellamy crouched low, back pressed against the cold rock wall, eyes darting around the room looking for the Minotaur. Monroe screamed. Clarke's cage was swinging, door open. Empty.

He ran to Octavia's cage and kicked it open. She flung herself into his arms. "We have to get out of here." She hissed at him when he turned to search for the others.

"No! I have to help them." Bellamy insisted. "I can't leave them here to die."

A guttural roar filled the room and Bellamy looked below. What was left of Murphy dangled upside down from the top of one cage. Clarke was standing on top of it still reaching out her hand as if to grab him. In the wall behind them he saw a sliver of light and knew it was their route to escape. He couldn't see Monroe or Raven.

Octavia grabbed his arm and urged him to come with her. He followed. Below he could hear the monster sniffing, looking for his prey. Off to one side he heard a tiny clanging noise. The monster lurched and Monroe screamed. The sound of flesh ripping apart made Bellamy retch. He fought to control his body. To stay silent.

Once they reached the opening in the wall Bellamy realized it was a large glassless window. On the ledge were rows of parachutes. Octavia was already scrambling into hers.

Bellamy turned mouth open ready to call. The sound strangled in his throat as it constricted in fear. The Minotaur was standing with its back to him close enough to touch. He could feel the heat coming of its body its own breath loud and raspy. It was watching his friends struggling to save themselves. Clarke was desperately trying to pull Miller up onto a cage, but only one of his arms was moving.

He looked over his shoulder at Octavia. She was struggling with the straps. She needed more time. He was too afraid to move, certain it would bring the monster down on her.

His eyes darted back to the Minotaur, who was unhooking a evil looking crossbow from its back. It took a pace away from him and closer to his friends. Sizing up a target.

Bellamy started, barely suppressing a Yelp, as Octavia's arms reached around him fastening his own parachute safely onto his back. She pulled him towards the edge.

The arrow was aimed straight at Clarke. He knew it was. She'd spotted a hole in the ceiling and was climbing towards it. She just needed a few more minutes to escape. He could yell out and distract the monster.

Octavia tugged on him urgently and he looked at her. His sister. The drop below them was long. They'd be easy targets on the way down. If he yelled now they'd both be dead before they hit the ground. Skewered with a giant arrow. The image of Octavia dying like that flashed through his mind. He shook it off. He was not going to let that happen.

He silently tried to get Octavia to jump, but she wouldn't leave without him. He looked back.

Clarke was nearly there, her hand reaching into the opening. The arrow tracked up to her, and flew from the bow with a sickening twang.

Bellamy screamed as he watched it tear into her chest, blood spurting from her mouth as she let go of the chain and fell.

The Minotaur swung to face him, yellow eyes filled with insane rage and raised its bow.

Octavia jumped and he jumped after her trying desperately to shield her body with his own. The wind rushed up to meet him but he still heard the arrow coming before it tore through his back and out of his stomach. As he watched his bowels explode away from his body, below him he saw Octavia drop into the safety of the trees.

The ground rushed up to meet him. Black.

Bellamy sat bolt-upright from the chair a sheen of sweat covering his body. He was cold. On the bed Clarke had fallen asleep. He was stroking her face before he even realized he had moved. Just a dream. The vision of Clarke falling was seared into his brain. Just a dream. An uncontrollable desire to be sure she was okay overtook him and he shook her hard to wake her. She rolled onto her back, red blood blossoming on her chest from the massive wound.

Bellamy sat bolt-upright from the chair a sheen sweat covering his body. He was cold. On the bed Clarke had fallen asleep. He sat there for a few moments trying to calm his breathing, before shakily making his way over to her.

He brushed blonde hair away from her face and sighed in relief. She was fine. Breathing softly. But still he found himself touching her chest gently with his fingers, just to be sure. Then he climbed on the bed behind her and pulled a blanket over them both. He encircled her in his arm, holding her warm body tightly against his own. With his face buried in her hair he quietly cried himself to sleep.