Bellamy woke with Clarke's head resting against his chest, her hair tickling his nose. He would have stayed, enjoying the sensation of being this closer longer, but he desperately needed to use the bathroom. He gently moved her arm which rested heavily across his stomach increasing the urgency in his bladder. In response she rolled over onto her side facing the wall. She had left a wet patch on his shirt where she had dribbled in her sleep. He didn't mind.
He headed into the small stark bathroom. As his water flowed into the bowl Bellamy couldn't help wondering how this system was supposed to work. Where exactly was it all going. Clarke was still asleep when he finished, her back to him, blonde hair falling over her shoulders onto the pillow, and the curve of her spine accentuating her waist and hips. For a brief moment the memory of her lying naked like that in their bed on the Ark flashed into his mind and he felt himself become aroused. But that had just been a dream, a weird disturbing dream. He shook his head and wandered over to the shelf with the bunker manual on it.
He sat on the chair and unlatched it. Inside were pages so thin that at first he took if for a single piece of black plastic, but as his finger hovered over it a single wafer thin page lept up to meet it. Only then could he see that each transparent page was covered in black text. It was still too jumbled with the text behind it until he squeezed the page between finger and thumb and it suddenly became opaque and the text popped from the page. Awe was the only word for what Bellamy was feeling. This manual could hold an encyclopedias worth of knowledge in a single binder. He was looking at the instructions for using it. The index alone was ten pages long. On the bed Clarke moaned, her breathing becoming more labored. Bellamy glanced at her before going back to his reading.
Finn runs towards Bellamy yelling his fists flying as he lands on the grounder, no as he lands on Bellamy. She screams at them to stop! To run. The bald grounder with the evil blade slashes at Bellamy's neck, but Finn grabs his arm giving Bellamy time to dodge. Then Finn smashes Bellamy in the face with his own fist. The grounder rises and slashes wildly at Finn's legs but Bellamy kicks the grounder in the gut before grinding his boot into the back of Finn's knee. Blood rushes through Clarke's ears as the rocket's engines roar into life. People yell at her imploringly ,now - now! The heavy leaver clunks closed in her hand and as the ship takes off a ring of fire disintegrates everyone below. She watches as Finn and Bellamy, still mid fight burst into flames and become embers that explode apart on the shock wave. Far below now, somehow still alive in the center of that circle of death Murphy has fallen to his knees arms stretched to sky in supplication. "It had to be done." A voice whispers in her ear.
Tears stream down her face as she walks up the slope. She knows what is waiting for her at the top. He is there, tied to the stake. The blade in her hand is heavy and drags her hand towards to center of the earth. She tries to stop, to turn, to run away, but her legs keep on moving up. Behind the stake fires are burning. She feels their heat beating against her skin, but her core is cold. His skin is warm as she reaches for his face with trembling finger tips, her thumb caressing his mouth one last time. The kiss is so sweet, it promises so much, but delivers nothing but death. "Thank you Princess." A voice whispers in her ear.
There is fire everywhere, people are screaming, dying. A horse aflame gallops at her.
She's standing at an easel inside the Mountain, wearing mountain clothes. She pauses with a wet paintbrush in her hand considering the landscape with trees and a lone figure in the middle. Dante is beside her, complimenting her, telling her how much she belongs here. How valuable she could be to them. But Well's doesn't agree, he's pointing at the picture she's painting. There is something wrong with it, something wrong with the figure in the middle. Is it upside down? It's hard to concentrate and Clark squints at the picture trying to see, to really see.
Lexa strides into the room, wearing the tight leathers that bind her torso and cinch at her waist. Lexa's whole body hums with life and vibrancy as she moves, transforming the world around her. They are alone in the command tent. Lexa glances once at the painting and sniffs in disdain, then stands between it and Clarke.
"You don't belong here." Lexa says, her blue eyes holding Clarke's own captive. "Come with me to Polis, let me show you our ways. You belong with us. You belong with me." Lexa reaches between them and tugs at the pink sweater Clarke is wearing and it unravels leaving Clarke naked, exposed and still she can't take her eyes from Lexa's. "We are the same." Lexa breathes onto Clarke's lips.
"Yes." Clarke whispers as the back of Lexa's finger brushes against her cheek. Her eyes finally drop to Lexa's lips and then she is lost. Lexa's mouth hungry and urgent presses against her own, their tongues soft and sweet tasting. Desire and relief flood her body, releasing a tension she can't remember holding.
Lexa's arms are around her, holding her, safe. Then her mouth moves to Clarke's neck and her palm rises to rest against the side of her breast. Clarke arches back in their embrace giving Lexa greater access to both. The sensations rushing through her body are glorious, freeing and all other thought melts away as she clings to Lexa's strong shoulders. She gasps as the wetness of Lexa's mouth covers her nipple and then she feels herself being lifted and pressed into the rough bark of a tree as her legs wrap around Lexa's hips. A movement out of the corner of her eye catches Clarke's attention but Lexa recaptures her lips as she begins to turn her head towards it and Clarke forgets.
Her feet drop to the forest floor blanketed in the multicolored leaves of autumn. Her grounder clothes are comfortable and fit her snugly, keeping her warm against the chill in the air. Lexa fills her vision. "Tell me what you want?" Lexa demands, but her voice quivers as if she's not quite sure of what Clarke will say. "I want you Lexa, I want you." Clarke feels like she will explode if she can't touch Lexa everywhere at once now. How lucky she feels to have found her, to be found. Clarke doesn't remember why, but she knows she's been lonely, isolated and on her own for too long.
Lexa runs her thumbs across both of Clarke's erect nipples, which strain against the leather of her bodice. She can feel the wetness pooling in her pants. "I want you!" Lexa whispers her hand moving between Clarke's legs, rubbing against her. Clarke moans in pleasure. Lexa leans into kiss the arc of her blonde lover's neck again, as Clarke gazes out unseeing into the forest beyond.
Something feels wrong. Clarke shakes her head trying to clear it. What is that swaying just within her field of view? She begins to turn her head and Lexa stops her, kissing that side of her neck forcefully, sucking hard on the skin and marking her. Clarke struggles in Lexa's arms until she can see the forest beyond.
Bellamy's naked body is hanging upside down from a thick branch of the tree Lexa is pressing her against. Sat crossed legged amongst the leaves of the forest floor next to him, watching avidly has Lexa ravishes her, Dante sucks blood from a straw stuck directly into Bellamy's neck. Behind him Clarke can see the forest is full of sky people hanging from the tree's like macabre fruit, their life's blood being sucked away. An army of Grounders stand around sharpening their weapons, eyeing the people of the mountain hungrily. They turn to look at her, no at their Commander.
Clarke is pushing Lexa away from her body, pointing into the forest urgent for her lover to see for herself. Tears stream down her face to see their suffering but she knows Lexa will help her, she knows. She pulls a gun and shoots Dante in the head, he falls to the forest floor leaves puffing up around and hiding his body like smoke. Blood gushes out of Bellamy turning the earth red. He's dead, she knows he is. She runs to him anyway pressing her hand uselessly against his neck, sobbing, unable to form his name in her grief.
Lexa's face pulls away from her neck and darkens. "You should have come with me to Polis Clarke! But you had to care about THEM more." She hisses angrily, pointing at Bellamy. Clarke is still pressed against the tree, Lexa's body pressed against her own.
Dante stops drinking Bellamy's blood and rises like a venomous snake from the forest floor. He walks to Lexa a bag of silver coins held out in front of him. Lexa weighs the bag in one hand then signals. A horn blows as she turns. Clarke screams Lexa's name at her retreating back, even as Emerson strings her up onto a branch. But Lexa never looks back, the horn keeps blowing and Clarke keeps screaming thrashing against the ropes that bind her.
Clarke thrashed against the constraints that held her for a moment longer before the warmth of his embrace and the overwhelming smell that was Bellamy Blake filled her senses enough to break her from the horror of her dream. She didn't pull away, but buried her face deeper into the heat of his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist, the taste of salt on her lips. He smelled good. Alive. He felt good. He could make her feel good too, she knew he could. The dream faded as new, more welcome, more urgent needs washed over her.
Her fingertips crept under the edge of his shirt and travelled up his back. She felt him stiffen and pull himself up as her hands reached his shoulders, pulling her up with him. His eyes were dark pools of lust as she held their gaze. He dipped his chin, mouth open and she rose to meet his lips with her own. They grazed the soft under skin of his jaw as he looked up, but the gasp that escaped him and the way his hands tightened where they had fallen to her hips encouraged her on. He tasted of salt and sweat and home as her tongue and lips rasped up to his ear and she moved to straddle his thighs. Her fingers traced the muscles of his chest and abdomen as they flittered down to his belt.
He stiffened again. His hands on her bare skin holding her still, telling her to stop, as she tried to roll against his groin. His face shot down to look at her his expression furrowed and serious. God she loved his rare smiles, but the intensity of his look now bore into her core intensifying her need for him. She needed him. "Stop!" The words coming from his mouth made no sense, she knew he could feel this too. She could feel, literally feel his desire growing. Her hands reached for his buckle again and he let go of her hips to grab them. This was no fun. But the lust was still there in his eyes, flickering in the steady candle light. "Touch me!" She demanded, her eyes defiant. She watched the flicker of hesitation as it crossed his face, saw his eyes drop to her lips, she leaned into him, pressing her chest against his own, dragging her erect nipples across the fabric of both their shirts. She shuddered at the feel of him hard beneath her. "No!" his voice whispered hoarse and unsure, but then he was pushing her away and rising off the bed.
Bellamy stood with his back to her, fists clenched by his sides. On the bed Clarke gasped as the sensation of aloneness crashed in on her again. What had she been thinking? Not that Bellamy Blake the camp lothario would reject her, certainly not that, she thought angrily. He turned to face her, his face still flushed, lips tight. There was an accusation in his eyes, that made her feel defensive.
"It's just sex Bellamy." She said, perplexed as his eyes grew darker still.
"I'm through being used." He said, jaw clenched
Clarke was confused and now embarrassment was creeping in and she didn't like it. She needed to find a way to diffuse this.
"I don't understand." She began but as her mind raced it came up with nothing, she really didn't understand. She waited for him to speak.
"You woke up sobbing her name. Calling out for her!" Bellamy said, indicating to his side as if Lexa were actually standing there. "Then, then.." but he couldn't finish.
Clarke gulped, had she been calling Lexa's name? The dream was already a blur. She just knew how aroused she had felt in his arms, was that really for Lexa?
"This," Bellamy said, indicating between them, his voice deep and coarse, "might not mean anything to you, but it does to me.".
Clarke felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise as indignation made her skin hum. She had no idea what Bellamy's deal was but she didn't appreciate being lied to. By him most of all. It was true some cultures on the Ark had very puritanical views about sex, but she'd seen Bellamy's conquests those first few days on the ground. He'd flaunted them in front of everyone."
"Horse shit!" She exclaimed, standing up and getting into his personal space. "Since when does sex mean anything other than a good time to you? Look if you don't find me as attractive as Raven or the others fine! If you don't want to have sex with me fine! But you don't have to be a jerk about it." She pressed her finger into his chest as if to drive her point home.
Bellamy looked down at it. "Are you through?" He asked, his voice perfectly level. Which was infuriating to her. "I have standards Clarke, and they include not having sex with someone who was just moaning someone elses name in their sleep."
Clarke thought about bringing up Raven's revenge shag again, but the fight had gone out of her. She no longer cared about why Bellamy Blake didn't want to have sex with her, and quite frankly if he was the last person on the planet she wouldn't have sex with him either. What had she been thinking? She just stood there glaring at him waiting for his next move in this bizarre game he was playing.
"Were you sleeping with her while I was in the Mountain" He asked finally breaking the cold silence that had begun to fill the air between them. Clarke was startled by the softness in his voice. It didn't match the fire in his eyes. Her first instinct was to tell him to mind his own business but her confusion must have been written all over her face because he continued, "O said..." and he shrugged, as if he had to ask.
Everything always came back to Octavia with Bellamy. He'd do anything to save her, ask anything. Understanding Commander Lexa was his business now. Clarke shook her head, no. Bellamy visibly relaxed in front of her. He was behaving so oddly.
"We kissed, that's all.' She said moving over to the chair to retrieve her mended pants. She stopped to inspect the expertly done repair, then pulled them on quickly and turned to face him. He had stopped to pick up the drawings from the night before, she rushed to grab them out of his hand before he found his portrait. She wasn't ready for his to see that yet, it wasn't finished.
"It must have been some kiss?" He said, raising his eyebrow at her as he stood again.
Clarke gulped as she thought about the unexpected pressure of Lexa's mouth on her own. It had taken her a moment before she had responded, but she had. Her body surprising her with the sudden desire that had risen between them. But then the memory of Finn had broken the spell.
"It was." She said simply, blushing as she shuffled the papers into order. Then her voice cracked as she continued, "But I told her it was too soon, that I wasn't ready." She paused for a moment then added. "I really thought she cared about me too."
Bellamy harrumphed, and she shot him a dark challenging look. His face had an unwelcome sneer she hadn't seen since the early days. "Did she betray us before or after our Princess rejected her advances?"
Clarke had had enough. "She wasn't like that! She made a tactical decision that she thought was best for her people. Her feelings about me didn't matter. " She was sure they hadn't.
"How can you say that. It was a coward's decision, her people think so too. She had to have some other reason for doing it, like being rejected. It's the only thing that makes sense" His eyes accused as he spoke.
"You're wrong what she wanted for herself didn't matter. She wasn't that weak." Clarke spat, even as she couldn't believe she was wasting her breath defending the woman who had abandoned her to die.
Bellamy cocked his head, unimpressed at the word weak. His face said that he couldn't believe what is was hearing. "The old love is weakness thing again?" He asked his voice hard and mocking. "So why didn't she take you with her?"
Clarke stopped. She could feel the heat rising in her face. Why did he have to be the one person who could make her this angry. She fought to control her voice. "She tried to. She asked me to abandon you all and go to Polis." But inside Clarke wasn't so sure, had that been before or after the betrayal?
This made Bellamy blink. Brought him back into this moment. Why was he arguing with her about this? Clarke could have left them all in the Mountain to die, but she didn't, she never would. He looked away. When his eyes met hers again the apology was written all over them. He'd been attacking her, when it was really Lexa he wanted to fight. He thought for a moment before replying. "I'm glad you stayed."
Something tickled his brain something that hadn't made sense until now maybe. "Indra didn't mention you in her message. The commander isn't hunting you like she is Octavia. At least I don't think so."
Clarke was clearly shocked. "Then why did you risk everything to come here in this weather?" Clarke asked her voice unsure her eyes searching his.
"Because I thought you were in danger." Bellamy began, then stopped. "Because I needed your help." He paused for a moment lowering his eyes before capturing hers with his own. "I needed you." His voice was thick and his eyes glistened with unshed tears.
She needed him too she realized. Whatever was going on between them, the world made more sense when they were working together. Together. A light went off in Clarke's brain and suddenly she thought she knew what Bellamy had meant earlier when he had said, "this". She reached for his hand, her fingertips tingling where they brushed his. His eyes dropped to them and she watched his face as he watched their hands joining, palm to palm. She waited for his eyes to find her own again before whispering, for just the two of them to hear, "I needed you too."
Loud clangs rang through the hatch making both of them jump, followed by a muffled yell. "Anyone down there?" They recognized that voice. Bellamy looked at Clarke for a moment and she smiled. "I am coming with you." She reassured him confidently. "I - have a plan!" Relief flooded Bellamy's system. He was back working with Clarke, she had a plan, and he was pretty sure Nathan Miller had just "rescued" them.
