Bellamy had gone topside to think. The air was cold, but it was clean and right now he needed to clear his head. He found himself sitting on the rock next to were some fresh flowers laid in a circle upon the grave, Jasper, Bellamy sun was low on the horizon and the council meeting would be starting soon. He should be going.
It was Miller senior who eventually came to find him. He'd been guarding the door when Bellamy left, so knew exactly where to find him when the search request went out.
" A lot on your mind?" He asked as he approached. "The council is expecting you."
Bellamy rose stiffly, and checked his holster out of habit. He looked up at the older man. "Did you know that the implant could fail?" He asked. But Miller's blank expression was all the answer he needed, the older man had no idea what he was talking about.
The council were in animated conversation when he entered. A discussion about not be able to spare the resources or the personnel. An opinion that the mission was too dangerous and unlikely to succeed. In the center stood Clarke, her expression broke into a smile of relief as she saw him.
"What's going on?" Bellamy asked.
Clarke walked upto him and he instantly recognized her I've got a plan but you're not going to like it face.
"I want to take a medical squad out with the Rover to treat the Grounders, and to find Luna and her people." Clarke said, as if it wasn't totally insane.
When Bellamy told her she was crazy she looked at him pleadingly, willing him to understand. In a way he did. Clarke needed a mission, away from here. She needed to be doing something useful, helping people instead of hurting them. Her plan wasn't even all crazy. It would be good propaganda. Get ahead of any rumors that The Commander might choose to spread about their true intentions in the mountain. A chance to make new allies, to find Octavia.
In the end he was out voted and the mission was given the go ahead. Once it was done he left quickly and headed back to his own room, his long legs eating up the floor. Clarke was out of breath when she finally caught up to him. He rounded on her angrily when she took his arm, not even sure why he was angry. Just looking at her made his pulse race.
"Can we talk?" She asked.
"What would be the point?" Bellamy bit off. "You're leaving again!"
"I.." Clarke began, face turning red, eyes glistening. "I thought you understood. I can't be here. I just can't."
Bellamy stepped away from her, his face full of scorn. "Do you think this is easy for me?" His voice was rough. "Everyday I walk through corridors where people died because they helped me." He gulped. "We pulled that switch and murdered Maya. We would all be dead without her, and we killed her." He took another step back.
Clarke reached out for him tentatively. "You could come, find Octavia?"
He could tell from the way hope flashed across her eyes that she'd seen how tempting that was. His jaw clenched, how to explain. "I can't." He said simply then his focus shifted to Raven hobblng around the corner.
Raven stopped up short as she saw him. The way her eyes flitted between himself and Clarke he could tell she knew that he knew. She paled and took a step back, but Bellamy had already shouldered past Clarke and was reaching for her arm. His eyes bored into her. "We need to talk." He said, his voice catching.
He didn't even look back at Clarke as he ushered her along, but Raven did. She knew she shouldn't enjoy the look of dumbfounded confusion on Clarke's face as much as she did, but she couldn't help it. As they rounded the corner she shook Bellamy off her and pushed him away.
"Alright I'm coming! Your place or mine?" She winked at him smiling, not sure why everything was so damned funny suddenly.
He looked at her like she was crazy. "Medical!' He ground out. "I want to see." Then as Raven's expression turned to steel he added "Please."
She nodded and they walked on in silence. Bellamy paused before the medical bay doors. This time Raven reached for his arm in comfort. He turned to look down into her eyes."It might not be yours you know?" She said gently. "It could still be Finn's."
He turned to look at her upturned face. She wanted it to be Finns he could tell. That would be kinder, more just, Finn had deserved to live to be a father and she loved him. But as his eyes drifted down to Raven's abdomen he knew it was just wishful thinking on her part. In order for the birth control to fail both people had to be incompatible with it, that was what made it so rare.
He didn't know if they could ever be 100% sure, maybe there were some tests that could be done, but as soon as he saw the fuzzy ill formed image on the screen he knew. It almost didn't matter if by some astronomically small chance Finn was the biological father, he and Raven were going to be parents and that was that. And that was terrifying.
After the scan he had returned to Maya's Rock as he had mentally begun calling it. It was odd to find comfort in a place that should cause him pain, but somehow he drew strength from Maya's memory. It reminded him of the value of his life, and the price that had been paid for it. He'd passed Jasper in the doorway on the way out. The malice in his eyes had made Bellamy shudder, but there was nothing he could do, no words of comfort. Facing Jaspers accusing glare was hard, he didn't have any words of comfort, wouldn't know how to say them anyway. That was Clarke's area.
It was there, under the full moon that Clarke found him. "Who told you?" he asked taking in her expression. "Raven." she supplied simply before sitting down on the ground next to him, chuckling to herself.
"What's so funny?" Bellamy asked, unable to keep a smile from reaching the corner of his mouth. Clarke's laugh was infectious.
"I was just thinking about Raven's new nickname for you, One Shot Bellamy." She laughed.
It was only then that he realized she'd been drinking, not a lot, but maybe just a little bit too much. She put her hand on his knee and patted it enthusiastically.
She was quiet for a moment then added, "It's kind of ironic don't you think? Karmic actually."
She leant back heavily against a tree and missed, landing with a thump on the ground, then sat up with a groan rubbing her head. Maybe she'd drunk a lot after all, Bellamy thought. How long had he been out here.
"Come on Clarke." Bellamy said pulling her to her feet. She clung to his arms for a moment, gripping him like she never meant to let go. Her head thrown back, long hair shining like silver in the moonlight, she looked up at him through heavy lids, her mouth open in a little O of surprise as she wobbled into his body. He'd felt it too, that jolt of electricity where they'd touched. It was like a ball of energy in his stomach that needed to be released. His lips on hers, his hands in her hair, her tongue in his mouth. He'd never wanted anyone more, Gods he needed her. But not like this, not like this.
"Come on Clarke." He repeated pulling her against his side and hooking an arm around his neck. She pushed him away and wobbled a little.
"They'll never take my mother seriously as Chancellor if I stay, you know!" She accused him with a wobbling finger. She began to giggle and her knees gave way beneath the force of her laughter.
Bellamy grabbed her again and she swayed into him. "Bellamy." She sighed into his ear, her lips grazing his skin. When he hooked his arm around her waist this time she allowed him to guide her back inside. He had no idea where her quarters were he realized, so he took her back to his.
The lights flicked on automatically as he entered and guided her towards the small sofa in what was he reflected, comparing it to Raven's rooms, definitely a bachelor pad.
He got some water from the tap and placed it on the table in front of her and sat down. Clarke just started at it.
"I can't stay." she said finally. "I can't!"
"I can't go." he replied.
"I know." She said. "That's why you're you."
Her head dropped into her hands then in defeat, her whole body slumping beneath the weight of the world. Suddenly he felt as tired as she looked.
"I'm tired" Bellamy began. "Do you want to go to bed?" he said rising holding out his hand.
She looked up at him and nodded and reaching for him to lead her through to the bed, small, but big enough for two.
He kicked off his boots and lay down next to her. Then sat up and took hers off aswell before lying on his back looking up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure if Clarke was still awake.
"Don't die out there." He told the ceiling.
She was gone when he woke, but her side of the bed was still warm and smelled of her hair. She was probably prepping for the mission. He thought about going straight after her, but it was still early and he needed to clean up. Sleeping in his clothes and lying pressed against her back all night had left him sweaty. The shower called to him and he was pleasantly surprised to find the hot water was working. Bellamy loved showers. As steam filled the cubicle his mind wandered to what Clarke made of the showers, and it was a short hop and a skip from there to imagining her joining in him in this one. He cursed himself for not waking up with her, perhaps… but no. Too soon he thought, she's not ready yet, but last night he could have sworn she was trying to tell him something.
She wasn't in the mess hall and he began to worry that she might leave without him, but the Millers who would be on escort duty were still enjoying breakfast. He thought for a moment about joining them, but Sinclair beckoned him over to his table. He wanted to talk about going back to the bunker and seeing what was down there. Bellamy half listened to Sinclair's enthusiastic musings while he watched the Millers. He'd never known his father, nor had Raven. He wanted what the Millers had for his child. Raven sat down next to Sinclair who asked how she was feeling, obviously in the know. Bellamy wondered how many other people knew. When he saw the Millers rising he took his leave of Raven and Sinclair and followed. Behind him he could hear the excitement in Raven's voice as they planned the bunker mission.
Monroe was helping load the last of the supplies and Clarke was hugging her mother goodbye as he walked into the hangar. The tunnel doors that led to the outside were already open and musty mountain air filled his nostrils.
"Shouldn't you be in school?" Bellamy jested with Monroe as she walked over to give Clarke a hug.
A look of relief flashed across Clarke's face as she saw him.
"I just came to say goodbye." Monroe smiled. All cleaned up and washed she looked younger again.
Nate who had walked him behind Bellamy teased her "Nah I bet you were hoping to stow away and get out of class - nothing ever changes does it Monroe."
Monroe blushed and flashed him her best "sod off" smile at the same time and then hugged Clarke before heading out the door. Just before she left she yelled over her shoulder "Try not to get killed Miller." Then she was gone.
Miller and Bellamy exchanged a brief goodbye and then he was climbing into the front of the truck with his dad. Leaving Clarke and Bellamy alone.
"I think she has a crush on Miller." Clarke said, nodding back towards the van.
Bellamy's head swung to look back at the swinging door Monroe and the Chancellor had just used before turning to smirk back at Clarke, "I know the feeling."
"Miller? Seriously?" Clarke teased him with a raised eyebrow, turning to look at Miller and the waiting truck. Then her expression became serious.
"I wasn't sure you'd come," Clarke said quietly, "after last night."
Bellamy looked at her confused. "Of course." He replied."I missed you this morning." His voice sounded intense even in his own ears and for a moment he was afraid he'd said too much.
Clarke looked back at him her big blue eyes drawing him closer as she began, "I needed a shower." The words stalling on her lips as Bellamy reached for her, his own eyes wide and wanting.
Slowly, deliberately he stepped into her and placed a palm against her jaw, before pushing his fingers behind her ear and into her hair. Clarke's hand raised to cup his cheek, brushing her thumb against his lips. Then their eyes met and his mouth was on hers and the world around them stopped. His warmth, his strength, his love, all there laid bare for her to feel. His arms had snaked around her and Clarke's own hands had moved into his hair. Drawing him deeper, closer, holding him to her. She was overwhelmed. Then he was stepping back from her a little and at last only their eyes and hands were still connected.
Clarke looked up at him, unsure biting her lip as reality closed in on her again.
Bellamy looked as if he wanted to devour her whole.
"Just something to think about until we meet again." He said, squeezing her hands before letting them fall.
Clarke stepped closer and pulled him into a bear hug. "We will meet again!" She whispered fiercely in his ear, then she kissed him briefly on the lips once more before climbing into the back of the truck with the medic.
Miller smirked at him as he pulled away, Bellamy tried not to smirk back, as he watched the truck enter the long tunnel to the surface. He tried.
He could still feel the smile on his lips as he turned to leave. The doors swung open as he walked towards them, Monty and Jasper were walking in. Monty looked angry, had he come to say goodbye? The engine noise of the truck was fading in the background. There was a bright flash of light and pain. Bellamy dropped to his knees clutching his chest as blood gushed through his fingers. The world was spinning going dark. The ground beneath his cheek was cold and wet.
Above him Monty was holding a gun, they must be under attack he thought dimly as Monty dropped to his knees beside him.
"For my mother, my father." He hissed in Bellamy's ears.
Bellamy turned away towards the dark tunnel, he thought he could still see the lights of the truck as it sped away from him.
The end.
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