Hey! I'm not dead! I finally managed to write the second chapter and am quite proud. Even though I still am ashamed that it takes me so much time to upload, but I'm getting better. It "only" took me four month now, while it was around half a year last time and the chapter is double the size. So yeah, I'm doing better.

Chapter 3 – All good things come to an end

Crown was the youngest of the Noah, so he was used to having a large family caring about him. When they disappeared, he felt empty and alone. And he still felt like that even now, but these feelings weren't as powerful and soul crushing as they used to be. He now had someone to call family again. He wasn't all alone anymore.

"Say ah…" said Margaret as she put a spoon to his mouth.

Even though he liked being a child again, this was one of reasons he wished to have his adult body back. He could feed himself goddammit! He could do it even with his small baby hands! But of course he couldn't tell that to his mom, he was only seven months old after all.

He opened his mouth obediently and swallowed food given to him, whatever it was. It didn't really have any taste so he couldn't tell, but it did keep him full and alive, so he ate it anyway.

"That's my good boy. Okay, one last spoon, say ah…"

After she finished feeding him, she carried him to his bed while petting his back until he let out a small burp. She tucked him in and sang a quiet lullaby as he slowly fell asleep.

Margaret POV

Allen is such a perfect baby, he doesn't make any noise unless he wants something and is content with me just being around me. He doesn't even complain about the bad food, which he should as a baby, or maybe it's just that he doesn't know any better.

But I'm getting worried, I do not have much money left and even though I make some by stitching clothes, it's not nearly enough. I don't know what to do.

3rd POV

Allen (I'll be referring to him by this name from now on) knew something was bothering his mother. She looked worried all the time and would sometimes cry when she thought he was asleep. Once he even heard her praying to god, asking what to do.

It pained him to know that this was all because of him, well it was not his fault that he was born, but it was him who ate the food and wore the clothes she had to buy for him. He felt guilt every time he saw how his mother ate smaller and smaller portions, yet his stayed the same. He was sure she was starving, but she still smiled at him, played with him and never complained about it.

He knew she would not be able to go on like this much longer. And he was right, it only took another half a month for his portion to get smaller as well. His mother looked like a walking copse by then, her cheeks sunken, bones clearly visible underneath he skin and her eyes dull, almost lifeless. She cried more often.

Then one evening, instead of putting him to sleep, she carefully wrapped Allen in a blanket and ran outside with him pressed firmly against her chest. (She had made that blanket for him a few months ago, it was a patchwork of differently colored fabrics, but if was made with love and he really liked it.) Allen couldn't quite discern how long she carried him as his body was already half asleep at the time, but it had to be at least for ten minutes. Suddenly she stopped and looked at him with sorrowful eyes. Then she started crying.

"M-my beautiful a-angel…I'm s-so sorry…I c-can't take care of y-you anymore…I-I don't w-want you to d-die. P-please forgive m-me."

She slowly lied him down on the porch of what he assumed was an orphanage. Quietly she added: "I will w-work hard and t-take you b-back someday. N-no matter w-where you end up. Remember t-that mommy loves you."

She kissed him on forehead one last time before knocking loudly on the door and fleeing. Allen knew something like this would happen a long time ago, yet he still wasn't prepared when the moment came. He lost his family once again and it still hurt even though he knew his mother had no other choice, if she wanted to keep him alive.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice door opening nor did he notice being picked up and carried inside. And so began the worst part of Allen's childhood.

Five years later

Nobody liked him and Allen knew it. For the adult he was just another hungry kid to take care of. For other children he was a weirdo. With his white hair, silver eyes and adult-like behavior he was always the odd one out. Some older kids even tried to bully him (not that they succeeded).

He was small for his age, which probably had to do with the really small amounts of food they were given. Just enough to keep them alive, but not enough to feel truly sated. And so he figured out, that it wasn't worth it to stay there any longer. He was finally old enough to be able to take care of himself! Yes, he wouldn't have a roof to sleep under, but he would be able to buy the same or even bigger amount of food with money he would absolutely win by his…eh…awesome poker skills. (Blame Joyd for those, he didn't shut up until Allen promised to play with him.) Plus he could finally get going and find out a way to join the Black Order without giving away his identity. God knows he would be treated like precious treasure that could shatter at any moment or a wonderful test subject for painful experiments…He didn't know which one was worse.

He waited until everyone fell asleep and silently, like a thief, escaped the building with his meager belongings consisting of old plush toy, spare T-shirt and an apple wrapped in his patchwork blanket.

Year later

Living on streets wasn't easy, but he got used to it rather quickly. Rob…eh…rightfully take money from poker players, buy food and sometimes clothes, find some chimney to sleep by. Easy enough. Problem was, he still hasn't managed to leave London, heck he didn't even dare to. With that horrible sense of direction, he couldn't even properly navigate in the parts of London he had lived in for a year, forget about leaving the town completely!

But luck seemed to be on his side for once.

"There's a circus in the town!" shouted Allen excitedly, earning himself a few curious glances.

He loved circuses, he wasn't called 'God's clown' for nothing after all, he was a performer at heart and would always be. He never had a chance to truly visit a circus before, because of the war…and all, but he could now!

Allen giggled like a child he was and run towards the giant circus tent he saw in the distance, he wanted to see how humans preformed.

He had to stop himself from grimacing when he paid for the ticket, reminding himself that it was worth it. And it was. Although those performances were not so heaven defying like his, they were still a lot fun to look at. He really liked the clowns, well one of them. The first one reeked of greed and wrath, Allen didn't need to see his soul to figure that out. But the second one…for some reason he seemed familiar. Allen had no idea why he felt as though he should know that clown, but decided to visit him after the show. Maybe he could figure it out.

It didn't take much work to sneak into the back stage and follow one of tiger tamers outside behind the tent. There were a lot of small caravans all around the place and he had a little problem, he didn't know which one belonged to the familiar clown.

Allen sighed and leaned on the tent, he would just wait until the man decided to show himself. And so he sat beside the tent, unknowingly falling asleep. He was woken by feeling of something wet on his face, he groggily opened his eyes…and tried to back up from a small brown dog that was licking his face not even a second ago. The dog barked happily and tried to lick him again.

"N-no, bad dog, bad! Don't lick my face! Oh god, please?!"

But the dog evidently didn't understand and continued to assault the young boy.

"Allen? Allen, stop this at once!" cried out a familiar voice.

Both the boy and dog froze and looked to the source. Owner of the voice was a middle aged man, there were wrinkles in the corners of his mouth and eyes, indicating he smiled often. He had short brown hair, mostly hidden behind a tall top hat. His eyes were even lighter brown and twinkled weirdly. His clothing was old and evidently used a lot, it was repaired with patches in some places. It was the clown Allen was looking for.

He looked worried and maybe a little horrified as he scolded the dog, which was coincidently also named Allen.

"What did I tell you about licking people? We already got a warning from the ringmaster, if this happens again he is going to kick you to death! Oh, what do I do with you, you little rascal?"

He looked at Allen (human) and apologized: "I'm so sorry, Allen is just a puppy and doesn't know better! Could you please forgive him? Please don't tell the ringmaster!…hmm…I don't remember you. Are you new?"

Allen didn't know what answer, but the last sentence gave him an idea.

"Y-yeah, I want to join the circus, but I don't know where to go," he shifted uneasily.

The man smiled widely and outstretched his hand towards him.

"Well, I can help with that. You need to see the ringmaster first before you can join. By the way, my name is Mana. And you are…?" he let the sentence drift, waiting for him to finish it.

Allen giggled softly and said: "Allen. My name is Allen."

Mana's grin grew even wider: "Oh…so you're Allen too? That will be easy to remember! Now come on, we have to hurry or the ringmaster will go to sleep and he's always mad when someone wakes him up."

Allen took his hand and followed him through the maze of caravans. Suddenly they stopped before a caravan a little larger than others and Mana said: "Allen, stay here for a sec', I'm going to talk to the ringmaster first."

He let go of Allen's hand and knocked on the door.

Nothing happened for a few seconds, before they heard heavy footsteps from inside and the door were opened by a mean looking man.

"What do you want?!" he snapped at them, evidently not very happy about being disturbed.

Allen had to suppress a growl from escaping his mouth. How rude! Mana, instead of being angry like his small companion, only smiled apologetically while scratching his nape.

"Mister Ward, I'm sorry for bothering you, but this little one would like to join the circus. I've brought him here."

"Mr." Ward didn't look any more interested and looked at Allen with disdain, sizing him up like some overpriced goods.

"Hey runt, this isn't place for slackers and lazy children. Go away."

Allen was ready to erupt, the fact that he could see that men's corrupted soul did not help him at all. He stomped down the urge to kick the ringmaster in his family jewels and rebutted emotionlessly: "I can perform. I can walk on rope the best, but I can also juggle and am rather good with animals. Test me, I can prove it."

The ringmaster sneered before replying: "Not now runt. If you have the guts then come tomorrow. But I'm warning you, if you can't do anything, run and never come back or face my wrath for taking away my time."

After that he slammed the door in their faces and judging by how loud his footsteps were, gone of sulking in the corner.

"How rude," stated Allen, while swallowing any curse word that came to his tongue. He wasn't going to start swearing like some sailor only because he was angry.

"Oh don't worry, he was just drunk. We call him "drunken horse" for a reason."

Mana chuckled at the name and Allen, smelling the inside joke from a mile away, asked why that name. Mana blushed fiercely.

"T-that's not something for children to know. Be glad you don't have an idea."

Allen glared at him at said: "I've basically grown up at street. I think I've seen worse."

Mana still looked unwilling and so he added, as an afterthought: "You know I can just ask somebody else right? I'm sure there is at least one person in here that will tell me."

That had Mana cracking. He bent down started to whisper in Allen's ear. Said child's face suddenly went red as tomato before fading into deathly white and then taking on a sick green color.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"Absolutely."

"Are you sure? Did he truly…you know."

"Yes he did."

"Oh Lord, I need brain-bleach."

Ok, that's the end. Allen still doesn't know what is so familiar about Mana, but he will figure it out in the next chapter, which should cover the time Allen spend with Mana right up to the accident (though I plan on letting him live in a way…) and maybe a little more after that.

Plus, if anyone is interested about the "drunken horse" nickname backstory, "Allen will think about it" in the next chapter. Believe me, it's funny...and a little disturbing.