I wake up, feeling as if someone has stuffed a wad of cotton in my mouth. Yawning, I make my way downstairs where I hear you and Mrs. Hudson talking.
"I have to take Alice for an appointment. I'm giving you Anderson's pain pills. Whatever you do don't let them out of your sight. He took one last night. I'm afraid this whole situation has taken a toll on him."
"Oh, John what are we going to do?"
John patted her shoulder. "Take care of them the best way we know how."
I flatten myself against the wall when you walk by. Once you have left I breeze into the kitchen. "Good morning, Mrs. Hudson, how are you?"
She purses her lips. "Fine, but Sherlock you've got to behave. John, has a lot riding on his shoulders without you acting up."
I sigh. "I know. It would help if a nice juicy case would come our way."
"Sherlock, perhaps you should give it a rest until things settle down."
"My brain is always on overdrive. If I rest, I'll die. You know I am at my best when I am working."
Mrs. Hudson puts her arms around me. "Sherlock, you have more people that love and care for you more than most. Don't take advantage of it. John is taking Alice to an appointment, then he is off to interview nannies."
I frown. "Why does Alice need a nanny?"
"Sherlock, you don't honestly expect to take her on cases, do you?"
My fingers dance over the rim of the teacup that sits in front of me. "No, I suppose not."
Mrs. Hudson smiles at me. "Now, finish your tea and go up and keep Anderson company."
I walk down the hall and tap on Anderson's door. "Come in," he calls out.
He is sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. "Are you alright?" I ask.
He looks up at me and smiles. "No, but I will be."
"Are you in pain?"
"Constantly, but it will pass."
I'm not sure what to say so I begin to pace. "Is there anything I can get you?"
Anderson smirks. "You just want to get at my pain pills again."
I chuckle. "Maybe. Do you want to smoke some weed?"
"That sounds wonderful, but we need to include John."
I sigh, then I begin to fidget. "I don't think he'll go for it, but we can ask."
"Sherlock, why are you nervous?"
I stop and look at him. "I'm not nervous."
"Yes, you are."
I sit next to him. "John, said he talked to you about…about."
"About all of us being in a relationship together?"
I look down at my hands. They are trembling. "Yes."
Anderson leans back. "I'm open to it. How do you feel about it?"
I study my hands as if they are foreign objects. "I don't know."
"It doesn't turn you on?"
My groin leaps to attention and I want to yell at it. "No, it definitely turns me on. The physical combinations of us being together is intriguing."
Anderson raises an eyebrow. "Just intriguing?"
I grin. "Okay, it sounds fucking hot, watching and being watched. God…"
"Well, I guess we'll have to see what happens."
"Anderson, why did you do what you did?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean."
Anderson pulls open his robe, showing me his wound in the full light. I grimace. It's dreadful. "I wanted to save you, but there was something else too. I wanted to bleed out in your arms. I wanted you to be the last face I saw, the last voice I heard."
I get up. I'm angry. "I'm not worth it."
"Yes, Sherlock you are. When you start to put a value on your own life, then you can begin to value others."
"Rubbish," I say, then spring off the bed. "I'll send up Mrs. Hudson to give you a snack."
"I want you to give it to me."
My face flushes. "I bet you do." I then leave the room to forage for something to eat. A few minutes later, Mrs. Hudson finds me looking in the kitchen cupboards.
"Sherlock, what are you up to?"
"Anderson wants a snack and I think he is in a lot of pain. Is it time for one of his pills?"
Her eyes narrow. "No, it isn't and I know what you're up to."
I ignore her, continuing to look through the cupboards.
"Sherlock, here let me help you. I swear you would starve to death if it weren't for John and I. I'll fix a pot of peppermint tea, that should soothe his stomach and I'll send up some sandwiches."
I nod, then stop. "Make sure that they aren't the cucumber ones. The doctor said no seeds or anything that could get stuck in his colon."
"Sherlock, you do care. You listened to the doctor's orders."
I shrug. "I don't want his colon bursting. It would make an awful mess."
"Sherlock, stop it. I know you care."
I don't answer her. Caring scares me. A few minutes later and the tea and sandwiches are complete.
"Do you want me to take them up?"
I shake my head. "No, I'll do it." I then navigate the stairs with ease, setting the tray down by the side of the bed.
"Are you hungry?" I ask.
Anderson's face is pale. "I'm tired, Sherlock. Just sit with me a little while."
I sit next to him, feeling his forehead. He is warm. "It feels like you're running a fever."
He looks up at me with shinny eyes. "Tell me about a case, Sherlock."
"Fine, but first you have to drink some tea."
His hands shake when he takes the cup from me. I steady them so he can swallow. He takes a few sips, then looks at me, resting his head against my shoulder. "Talk to me, Sherlock."
I stroke the side of his face. "One case that stands out in my mind is the case of the dismembered barrister."
"That was the case I first met you."
"Yes, and I was terribly cruel to you."
"Yes, you were."
"I'm sorry."
"I know you are, Sherlock. Now talk to me while I fall asleep."
I keep talking to him in a calm voice, yet I am uneasy, something doesn't feel right.
When you come through the door I breathe a sigh of relief. "John, I think that Anderson is running a fever." He hands Alice to Mrs. Hudson, and goes to check on Anderson.
I enter the room to find you taking his pulse. "We've got to call an ambulance. His pulse is thin and rapid."
"I kept bathing his forehead in cool cloths."
You look at me. "That's good, Sherlock."
"But it wasn't enough."
You look up at me, then call an ambulance. "You did good, Sherlock. He's going to be fine."
I want to shrink within myself. This is all my fault.
