I heard all of your reviews and truly appreciate it! Since I am a new writer, I do not want to alginate y'all just yet. Please remember, because I have decided to do this the way I have, I will often repeat themes in my later stories.
Again, thank each and every one of you for reading and reviewing.
The one thing about giving this assignment, about being given the privilege of being with JJ in her final moments is how much it humbles me. I may be dead, I may be here to collect her, I may know answers to some of life's most burning questions, yet I cannot save her. I still do not have the ability to stop death, to understand it, to delay it. I am no more powerful than the living when it comes to death; and watching JJ die makes me realize that only one can do all; and that one is not me.
Not even a minute ago, a homeless man wandered in and saw JJ lying here, he walked up to her, bent down and felt for a pulse; then he picked up her waded up FBI jacket and casually walked out the door. I shook my head in disbelief, how can anyone just leave this agent lying here? And for the first time in a very long time, I feel something. I actually feel emotion.
Anger directed in so many different directions. To Jim for leaving me here absolutely clueless as of what to do next. To the men who did this to JJ, who took her life as if she was nothing. To the FBI agent who failed to protect one of their own, to the homeless man who skimpy walked away. And finally I am angry at "Him." How could He let this happen, especially to someone who saved so many? She is one of the good ones and judging by what I have seen today, we don't have many like her left.
Absolute depression over this entire thing. Watching someone die changes you—and maybe that is why I was given this assignment; to show me just how helpless I am. I cry for JJ, her family, her team, the grandchildren she will never meet, the fact that she will die without a living person at her side.
There is guilt for not being able to help her, despair for knowing her team will not find her in time, love for this agent. I am experiencing all of these at once and it is overwhelming. What am I supposed to do?
I do the only thing I know how to do at this point, I talk to her. "JJ, I am not sure if you can hear me, but I am here for you. Mike is here for you. I know you are probably scared, so was I. But let me tell you about the place you are going to. The sky is always a brilliant color, always changing. There is no war, no crime, no hate, there is no fear, no sickness. No hunger, no pain. There is only happiness. You can watch your family grown, you can interact with those who left you. Your sister is here JJ, Jesse is waiting for you. She is so sorry for leaving you to find her, but is so proud of the person you have become." I pause and watch as the sun begins to set outside. "I never got to thank you, Agent. I am not sure if you remember me, we've never actually met, but you did so much for my family. So much that I cannot possibly express how much your actions mean to me. My wife is happy, my kids are on their way to be successful and I think that you had a huge impact on them during those few days. You showed them that good people still exist." I pause. "You showed me that good people still exist. JJ, I am not sure if you are ready yet, but I will be here when you are."
I wake up suddenly, jumping up to check on my charge. I am not sure really what is happening. She doesn't look to be breathing, but she isn't at my side; so somehow she is still fighting. And then I hear it, the very faint sound of sirens quickly approaching. They are coming and JJ is still alive.
Sirens pierce the air and had I had a heartbeat, it would have picked up dramatically. They are here. A quick glance out the window confirmed my suspicion and in astonishing speed the complex is surrounded with flashing lights and men and women running towards the massive structure.
"JJ?" I try again, hoping for some sort of response, and just as I suspect, I receive no response. "JJ, keep fighting kiddo, they coming up, they are going to find you."
The absolute flurry of activity is amazing, I cannot count the number of officers swarming. Even with it being pitch black outside, the amount of flashlights present allow me to see clearly. And I zero in on her team, they are all here. They waste no time in entering the building with such force that it makes me fear that they might accidently miss her and run her over.
I watch as they clear floor after floor, room after room leaving no corner untouched. Three minutes after their arrival I hear Agent Morgan's voice booming from outside the door.
"HOTCH!" He screams and I wonder how he knows before even entering the room. "Hotch! I've got blood." And then, the door is kicked open and agents flood the room.
The look on their faces when they first see her is something I will never forget. They spring into action as they fall by her side.
"Get the paramedics! We've got her!" Agent Hotchner screams before even checking for a pulse. I watch his hands shaking as he presses his fingers to her neck. He begins CPR and I see one tear roll down his check as he whispers to her "C'mon JJ." He isn't the only one crying and deep down inside he knows that tonight he is too late to save a life.
