Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.

A/N: At the request of my niece, I added a song to this chapter. I think that this song fits perfectly how Zack feels about Cloud. I have to say that this song is what really keeps this fanfic story going. It is in the flashback at the end of this chapter. I know that there are a lot of flashbacks, but I feel that it is important, especially now that Cloud is awake, Zack is turning things around in his head and ending up living in the past. The song is "Amazed" by Lonestar.

Thanks to my super-cool beta SubZeroChimera!


"To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others." –Albert Camus

To You I Give My Heart

Chapter 25

~Amazing Broken Dreams~

Eating in silence, watching every move she made, Zack had to watch himself and make sure he didn't just grab her and kiss her. It was a balancing act, keeping check of his emotions as his memories played over in his head. He had unintentionally memorized her mannerisms and habits.

She delicately tore at the cooked meat of the large bird-like creature that Zack had hunted down just hours earlier. Nervous bites of food, small and detached as she watched them both from across the table. It was obvious that she was hungry, but she controlled herself enough that she didn't eat too quickly. Zack waited her out, he didn't want to volunteer any information that would otherwise cause her to bolt out the door before he was able to explain anything and everything in a clear way.

Taking a hesitant sip of water, after closely inspecting it, she lowered the glass back down to the table. Zack leaned on his elbows, knowing that if his mother saw him doing it, she would slap him in the back of his head, but he asked as lightly as he could sound, "What are you looking for in your water?"

Coughing on the small bite of bird meat, she covered her mouth as her eyes met his. With a slight shake of her head, she stuttered, "No-nothing." Dropping her eyes, she took another bite and glanced over at Nanaki and tried to change the subject, "So you're a talking dog?"

With a snort, Nanaki got down from his chair at the table and stalked off and from over his shoulder he said with a tone, sounding tired from the same explanation, "My race is not canine."

Swallowing his bite of food, and waiting until Nanaki was out of the room, Zack explained with a smile and a hitch of his thumb, "He's a little sensitive, but deep down he's a just a big fluffy and cuddly kitty cat."

"I heard that Zackary…"

Ducking his head, Zack smiled and fought a giggle, but when he noticed a fair smile on Cloud's face, he let his smile radiate bigger. Averting her eyes, she took another bite of potatoes and tried not to look at him. He couldn't help but be reminded about the first time they had met. There were many firsts that she forgot about and that alone was enough to break his heart.

After dinner, with nothing to do now, Zack pestered Nanaki while Cloud bathed. Usually, he was the one bathing her after their walk, he suddenly felt so empty, so alone. Tired of Zack's antics and inability to stay still and quiet, Nanaki ran him out of the room and he wandered down the short hall to his and Cloud's room.

The sound of water falling in the shower dampened his soul as he ran a finger along the bristles of her hair brush. A few stray hairs clung to it and he internally lamented that she didn't need him anymore. For so long, she needed him for everything and it was something that he got used to, but hadn't realized it.

Startled from his reverie, a rogue question wrapped him in distrust, "What are you doing?" It wasn't her tone that was distrustful, it was how he interpreted her question.

Putting his hands in his back pockets, he backed away, "Oh, sorry, I was just thinking." Backing out to the hallway, he stood just outside the door. He watched her briefly in her soft pink sundress.

"You don't strike me as the 'thinking' type," A softness in her face hinted at a smile and it caught his eye, she sounded much more relaxed than she did when she first woke up, "I guess I'll be sleeping out in the living room?"

A wave of his hand, he felt out-of-place and he shuffled his feet, "Naw, you sleep in here, I'll sleep out there. I was a Soldier, I'm used to sleeping on the ground." Tapping his toe behind him nervously, he looked up at the ceiling, "…Too bad the couch is so small."

"Oh quit whining you big baby-" Turning to face him, the look of alarm in her features didn't hide the fact that she took a step away from him, "How do we know each other, really?" Zack didn't say anything at first so she filled the silence, "I'm not stupid enough that I don't know that some time has passed. I saw myself in the mirror and I am not the same as I was when I left home." Tentatively she touched her stomach while looking at it while she appeared to hold down her disgust, "I don't know what I've forgotten, but we know each other in some way. Were we friends?"

Luckily she didn't look up right away, he hid well the emotion that solidified in his throat, swallowing it down so that he could deal with it in his own way later, "Look, it's late and you look really tired, so why don't we talk tomorrow?"

She took slow and hesitant steps toward him, but it still got butterflies fluttering in his gut as he waited for her approach. Just as he let his hopes up, she got closer, he let the corners of his mouth rise. Did she remember him, at least a little? She answered his unasked question when she reached forward and closed the door. His nose almost touched the wood, he blinked once, twice and then bit his lower lip with a sigh of frustration.

Laying there on the couch, one hand resting behind his head, he watched the ceiling, shadows dancing without a care in the world. He had the feeling of nothingness, not being needed anymore was hurtful and it was something that he didn't know if, or even when, he would be able to handle it. All this time, he waited and prayed for the time she would wake up and now that she was, well he just didn't know what to do with himself anymore. As he drifted off to sleep, he thought back before they had made it to Cosmo Canyon and to Bugenhagen…

It hadn't been long since they had left Conrad's place, and the boy-turned-monster-turned-man loaded up their bags with everything that he could. Talking to the man well into the night, he got another look, another type of glimpse into what it meant for you to love someone. Although the man had loved Bonnie, instead of taking her choice in stride, Conrad acted out and tried to put a wedge between the two lovers, causing them to grow closer at first, but in the end, it tragically caused Bonnie's death.

Looking at the expanse of field that lay before them, Zack shifted his head side to side, popping his neck in a succession of tension relieving cracks. The tree line stopped, leaving them out in the open again. The limp blond at his side moaned in protest so he decided to take a break before he had to take Cloud up in his arms and make his way across the field as quickly as he could.

"How about we take a break, it's almost lunch time," Sliding her down to the ground, she crumpled into a complicated ball of limbs and messy hair. Dropping the overly heavy bags, he debated on whether or not to continue with them, but he quickly let that thought disappear because as soon as he did that, there would be something that Cloud would inevitably need.

Setting the bags on the ground, he began pulling out things to eat. Cereal bars and bottled water. Propping Cloud against a tree, he carefully pulled a small piece off of the bar and patted it down, making it small enough to fit between her lips. Unfortunately she didn't like it. Her tongue stuck out slowly, allowing the bite of food to tumble from her lips. As small string of saliva followed it down to her chest and then blew away with the breeze.

Picking up the bite from the front of her shirt, he parted her lips and tried again and again she pushed it out with her tongue. When Zack tried again, she clenched her jaws tightly and pursed her lips, keeping a seal, making it impossible for Zack to place the food in her mouth, "Come on Cloud. You didn't eat breakfast this morning." Sitting back on his rear, he propped his elbow up on his drawn up knee, "You're starting to worry me. You won't eat or drink hardly anything anymore. And you aren't gaining weight anymore."

Popping the bite of cereal bar in his mouth, he winced at the soggy nature of the piece of food, "If it was anyone else's…" Eating two more bars, Zack pulled out the water to try to get Cloud to drink; she had different ideas.

Holding her in one of his arms, he pulled her toward his chest and leaned her head back. Tipping the bottle, the water trickled out against her tightened lips, barely wetting them before it dripped down her chin and the side of her cheek. Rolling his eyes, Zack tried again, but again she didn't cooperate, "Come on Cloud, you need to drink some water."

Laying her down on the ground, he put his fingers on either side of her mouth, pursing her lips. Pushing in gently, he pried her jaw open until he was able to get the rim of the bottle closer to her teeth. Pouring some in, Zack heard a clicking in her throat, right before a violent cough sent a spray of water up into the concerned face of the former Soldier. Before he could pull the bottle back, her back arched painfully, her hands grabbed at her throat and she began to flail and wail like she was suddenly fighting an unknown assailant.

Zack wondered what she was dreaming about, she looked ready to jump up and run. Pulling her up into his arms, she jerked back almost out of his grip, and her head smacked into the tree trunk with a thick thud. A sudden warmth covered his forearm, "Oh shit Cloud!" He hugged her to him, tightly holding her, keeping her from flinging herself around and hurting herself again, "Shhh, it's okay…"

Without thinking about it, he began to hum a song that he had stuck in his head, repeating over and over and it exactly how he felt about the blond. Cloud quieted slightly, so he began to sing a little louder. With the louder sound of the words, she instantly calmed and nuzzled up to him. Although he technically never dedicated it to her, he felt this way, and now he realized and was able to voice it, he had always felt this way about her. The time he watched her on the train down to the slums on their first unofficial date, all the times he helped her in her weapons training, All the times they ate lunch together, the late movie nights with Kunsel, laughing at his jokes and it all culminated when she expressed herself to him while she lay in his arms, right before Hojo put her in the tank.

From this moment on, this would be their song and as soon as she woke up, he would sing it to her because it said everything he wanted to say to her, but was too scared to say it.

"Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone, Or anything
I can hear your thoughts, I can see your dreams

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life,
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do,
Baby I'm amazed by you

The smell of your skin,
The taste of your kiss,
The way you whisper in the dark.
Your hair all around me,
Baby you surround me
Touch every place in my heart
And it feels like the first time
Every time
I want to spend the whole night
In your eyes

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life,
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do,
Baby I'm amazed by you"

Stroking her hair, he watched her as she fell into a deep sleep, keeping a careful eye on the cut that she got on the back of her head. It wouldn't be much longer and they would need to cross the barren land to Cosmo Canyon, so Zack took the rest of the day to rest. Wiping a tear from his cheek that he didn't realize he'd shed, his eyes suddenly burned at the threat of more, she scared him. If he wasn't able to get her help, would she survive and would she be the same Cloud that she once was?


A/N: Thanks to everyone who reads, favorites, subscribes and/or reviews, I appreciate your time and I dedicate all of this to you. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy."

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