Chapter 17- Abandonment

The rusted barrel she hid behind gave minimal cover. Her position would be known in a moment. Matako could feel two more swordsmen running her way. She swiftly drew her pistols and fired them in the same motion. Blood leaked out from their kimonos as their corpses hit the ground. The red-clad gunslinger was already making her way to new cover.

"Tch" She leapt out from cover. A swordsman was coming down on her, a blade firmly between his hands. Matako released the trigger.

Click.

"No way" she thought. How could she have not realized her pistols were dry? Kijima moved to the left and avoided the stroke. Her last second dodge had given up too much of her footing. The loose friction under sandals caused them to skid on the pavement. As her body toppled over, the samurai spun around. Matako felt the blow go cleanly through her stomach. She saw the blade return to the air, dragging blood and shredded organs with it. Kijima collapsed on the road. The enemy sheathed his sword and left her to die. All the sensations in her body were leaving her. From the corner of her eye, she briefly saw the pool of blood forming around her. Eventually her vision left her as well.

"It seems she's been fatally wounded" said Takechi. Matako awoke to find the Kiheitai around her. Takechi, Bansai, and Shinsuke stood at her feet.

She weakly said, "Shinsuke-sama…"

Shinsuke was facing away from her like the last time she had seen him. His response was the same as before. It was complete silence.

"S-Senpai." she said, "I'm not feeling so good. I think I've lost a lot of blood."

Takechi was no longer looking at her. He was staring off into the opposite direction, mirroring Shinsuke.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked, "If you don't apply pressure on my wounds then I'll die!"

She heard Takasugi say, "It's better this way. After all, this is the second time you've failed me."

She was too speechless to answer.

Bansai said, "Matako-san, isn't it a bit late for this? As I recall, we extended our hands once before but you refused our help."

"What are you saying?' asked Matako.

Takechi said, "Shinsuke's right. It's better this way isn't it? This way things can go back to how they were before."

Bansai then said, "Is it not? The Red Bullet prefers to work alone correct? You'd rather be alone in the end. There was never any place for you in the Kiheitai to begin with. You never did fit in. You were the disruptive rhythm to our perfect concerto."

"So you're just going to let me die?" she asked. None of the party answered her. They began to turn away. Shinsuke was the first to leave.

Desperately, Matako called out, "Shinsuke-sama?!"

"Senpai?"

Takechi dismissed her words and followed after Shinsuke. Bansai acted of the same accord.

"Bansai-senpai? Please…"

His fading voice said, "There's no need to look so devastated Matako-san, this is what you want isn't it? To return to the darkness?"

The world around her began to blacken.

And at the same moment, reality returned to her.

Matako was sitting up on the bench she had passed out on. She could feel the air briskly passing in and out of her lungs. Her body was glistening with sweat. Matako was still hyperventilating and her pounding heart hadn't slowed down yet. She looked to her stomach and found it unharmed. Matako's perception was slowly being restored. She remembered the events the night before. In her reflecting, her mind had finally given in and turned to dreaming.

Matako's nightmare had felt so real to her. She could still vividly see Shinsuke and the Kiheitai leaving her behind. She could still recall what it felt like to die.

She turned and looked to the open door. Kiheitai members walked by on everyday business.

She suddenly saw a vivid picture in her mind of when she had stepped on Kawakami's shamisen. She remembered sending off Takechi when he had tried so awkwardly to console her. Her eyes lowered. Guilt plagued her conscience.

"This is what you want isn't it? To return to the darkness?"

The words of her nightmare were haunting her.

"The Red Bullet prefers to work alone right? You'd rather be alone in the end."

Matako said, "I—"

Kijima found her mind overflowing with uncomfortable memories. She recalled how afraid she had been when Katsura had cut down Shinsuke. She remembered her fear at seeing Takechi attacked by the Benizakura.

She tried to block them out. A different kind of memory took the place of these unwanted thoughts.

She heard Takechi say, "Whether you choose to accept it or not is solely up to you. I just want you to know that I'm thankful for how far you went to help me."

Bansai's words followed, "Something I've come to learn is that a ballad is best played when in harmony with another instrument. It's the same with people's hearts. Wouldn't it be easier on yours if you didn't bear this alone?"

Her most powerful memory followed. Matako remembered the day of Shinsuke's promise.

On that stormy day, Takasugi had admitted, "I just want to destroy it."

"Shinsuke-sama…"

Matako had opened her own heart by saying, "I'm here for you"

Takasugi turned his neck ever so gently – a deviation Matako hadn't expected but which she had hoped for. Matako saw how his eye had taken notice of her. His lips were slightly parted.

A second later, Okada's presence had stolen their moment. He walked on past and headed down to the last foot of the steps. Bansai had gotten up from playing his music and joined them. Takechi soon appeared on the scene as well. Matako finally turned around and gave her attention to them. She wasn't annoyed by their interruption. Matako was already satisfied enough with Shinsuke's simple gesture. She would wait patiently for him. Right now, she welcomed her comrades' faces. There was a moment of silence. It didn't last long but she would always treasure it—that time when she had felt the closest to Shinsuke and when they had all been together like this.

Matako placed her hands on her chest as the pleasant memory faded. Her vision was blurring and her lower lip started to tremble. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her hands wrapped themselves around her mouth to silence the sobbing.

I—I don't want to be alone anymore.

Someone please tell me. Tell me that I don't have to be alone anymore. Bansai-senpai, Takechi-senpai, Shinsuke-sama… are you my family now? Is that okay?

She found herself laughing even as the tears continued to rain down.


Author's Note: Thank you so much for the new reviews!