Chapter 19- The Black Star
Bansai sat in his room practicing his latest song. Matako lay against the wall with her arms crossed behind her head. The morning and afternoon had passed for them so slowly. The entire time she sat quietly listening to his tune.
She heard him place the guitar back onto its stand.
"Hey Senpai…"
"What is it?" asked Bansai.
"There's something that's been bothering me. I just can't understand why Nizou joined the Kiheitai. The entire time he was here he followed his own agenda. He wanted nothing more than to shed blood. So why join such a cause at all? Why is it he still spoke of wanting to be by Shinsuke-sama's side in our revolution?"
"This one can only speculate. But I do recall Nizou mentioning a bit of his motives once. He said that Shinsuke had invited him to destroy the world with him. Nizou said it was an offer he couldn't refuse in more ways than one. He said he was a moth unable to escape Shinsuke's light. I'm not completely sure what he meant. I suppose he saw Shinsuke as a sort of light, a light that drew in the Kiheitai as a whole."
Matako asked sleepily, "Light huh?"
As they finished speaking, Takechi strode into the room.
Bansai said, "A few more practice sessions and I should be able to get a final draft. So how was it?"
"It felt sophisticated." She laughed, and said, "It was really good."
"I'm still feeling out of my element with such a piece."
Takechi suddenly interrupted the chatter. "So this is where you've been hanging out?"
Matako asked, "What is it? Did something happen?"
"Well you see, Shinsuke-dono's returned."
"He came back?! When?"
"Just a few minutes ago actually. I thought you might want to know. I suspect he'll want a meeting to be held later on this evening."
"Who is it?"
"It's me… Matako"
"Shinsuke-sama, I'm sorry to bother you like this. I needed to see you. There are so many things I need to say to you… if you'll let me. May I come in?"
Matako felt her heart racing. She didn't wish to be exiled from his presence any longer. She wanted to hear his voice, take in his deep words, and smell the lingering scent of tobacco on his kimono. The place where Matako was the happiest was with him.
"Enter"
Matako slid the door open and found him sitting in the darkness. Her eyes watered from the smoke lingering in the air. She placed her self at his feet and stared at the floor. To her relief, he was staring directly at her.
"Please forgive me." Matako said, "If you give me another chance, I promise I'll do better. I'll become stronger so I never disappoint you. I… I just want to please you. So please… accept my apology."
"I accept." he said.
Shinsuke then said, "I will hold you to that promise. Do not think that simple words will correct this wrong. I told you once that that I judge the depths of my subordinates' loyalty by their actions, do you remember?"
"Yes."
"And yet, the blame does not fall squarely on you. The failure of our last mission lies on my shoulders. Had I not granted Nizou so much power, we would be engaged with the Bakufu at this very instant. Had I not dropped my guard I would have remembered a trained warrior can hide his presence. Then I would not have been surprised by Kotaro. As a result of all our failures, the Kiheitai will suffer. Our enemies are alive. They have seen our true nature and will be ready. Can you now see the consequence of our actions?"
"I understand. I accept full responsibility for my failure."
"It is enough. I have no intention of punishing you."
"Thank you"
"Is that all which you wanted to say?"
Shinsuke was merely making conversation. He already knew she had something she needed to get off of her chest.
"Shinsuke-sama, I want to know more about you. If you ever need to speak about your past, I'll listen. I don't need an answer right now. Anytime is fine. Until then, I'll be waiting by your side ready to do your bidding."
Matako added, "That's all I wished to say. Thank you for hearing me."
Shinsuke smiled wickedly as he put down his pipe. "You wish to know more about me?"
"Yes Shinsuke-sama"
"Very well, though now is not the time for reminiscing. In half an hour, the meeting will begin."
Matako bowed her head and stood up.
She asked, "Shall I leave until then Shinsuke-sama?"
"No, you may remain here if you wish."
Kijima's cheeks turned pink and her face brightened up with puppy-like joy. She scooted to his side and sat in contentment. For several minutes she simply observed him smoking his favorite pipe. His eyes were distant, most likely he was calculating some distant battle or considering the upcoming discussion. Either way, he wasn't the least bit annoyed by her presence.
"Shinsuke-sama?" she asked.
He turned and looked at her with curiosity.
"Are you thirsty?"
"I am." he said, "There's a bottle of sake in the fridge."
She followed his instructions and returned with the bottle and a sake cup. Matako carefully poured the refreshment. She handed the cup to Shinsuke.
As he accepted her act of consideration, Takasugi began to analyze her. He thought, "You wish to know me Kijima? My past is full of unpleasant memories. It wouldn't deter you at all would it? You've been willingly taken by your fancy. By throwing yourself at me, you make it easier for me to use you. You want to be used by me. You want to be rewarded. Should I be generous and indulge you or leave you hungry?"
Author's Note: I kind of felt Matako's relief in having Shinsuke appear again. Looking back, it was strange barely having him at all in the last several chapters. I also think he's warming up to Matako in his own way.
