Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.

A/N: This is a chapter with a dark flashback and I want to remind you to that this story is rated M. I tried to make the scene as gentle as I could, but if you don't like, then you don't have to read it, it is your choice. I debated on whether or not to have this in the story, but I felt in necessary for some of Zack's choices later in the story and I hinted at it when Zack first woke up in the Cosmo Canyon.

To the guest reviewers: matchbox girl and fanfiction lover, Thank you for reading and reviewing! I thought that Zack and Cloud's dynamic in their relationship, or lack of relationship, kind of lent to the fact that they were best friends first and they still have that kind of comfortableness around each other even though Cloud doesn't know why.

I have a poll on my profile, please take some time and vote!

Thanks to my wonderful beta SubZeroChimera!


"People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest." –George Matthew Allen

To You I Give My Heart

Chapter 28

~Anything For You~

The cold air kissed his skin as he lay in his cell waiting for morning, but dreading the night even more. In the next cell, Zack could hear the soft breathing from Cloud as she slept restlessly and it was no surprise that she didn't sleep well because he didn't either, at least not anymore. Since they had been here, he slept less and less, but then there was the extra bonus that he took upon himself to keep Cloud safe from the roving hands of the depraved guards and lab assistants that worked for Hojo.

From the way the guards and laboratory workers talked, he and Cloud had been there for almost two years now, although it didn't feel that long in some instances. Apparently they had both been in the mako tubes for several months before they woke up, and because of that, it was technically only a year and a half since they had been awake and mercilessly tested. Sometimes it seemed as though it were at Hojo's leisure and entertainment.

However, the perversion that circled both he and Cloud finally found footing when Zack volunteered to take Cloud's place, a favor that as long as he lived, she would never know about. For now though, Zack lay there on his cot, shirtless, under his sheet and waited for the lab technician to show up, and he hoped that the short and pudgy brute lost his nerve, because Zack was certainly questioning his own resolve right about the time he heard the clink of a shiny metal key in the ordinary metal lock of the rusty metal bars.

Taking a deep breath, Zack squeezed his eyes shut, willing away his fear of what he felt was his obligation for the innocent blond who was housed right next door.

A whispered voice closer than he anticipated jarred him from his meditative state, "Now don't try to kill me."

Zack didn't bother opening his eyes, he could see the man's face as clear in his mind as he could any other day in the lab, or even the workout room. Without moving, Zack urged his strength to keep his voice steady as he spoke, "I won't, as long as Cloud stays safe from you perverts." Finally opening his eyes, he let the bright glow of mako shine, he could see the tech standing half way between the exit and where he lay.

The darkened room was only lit from the hallway as the dim light filtered through the bars casting long shadows across the floor.

Softly the tech whispered, as he closed the distance, "I've mostly been with women."

Looking at the guy standing there with a meek and timid posture, Zack would've guessed that the guy was a virgin, but he couldn't exactly argue with him. With a huff as he sat up, Zack let the words spill like venom, "It's either me or death because if you touch Cloud I'll kill you. I'm not stupid though, I know that if I kill you, there are more that will take your place so as long as we have an agreement," Zack paused at his next words, he had to swallow his pride before he could let them leave his lips, "I'll let you do what you want to me."

The young tech stood in place as he confessed, "Although Cloud is arousing in more ways than one; I have to admit that I do find you rather attractive too."

Rolling his eyes, Zack sighed and whispered through his teeth, "Just tell me what the fuck you want so I can get this over with!"

That was when the bashful look left the man's face and he sternly said, "Stand up."

Slowly standing up, Zack let the sheet slip from his form as he rose to his full height, a full foot taller than the young lab tech. The man's eyes gleamed as he caressed Zack's bare chest with soft touches, gentle and meant to be sensual, and his bare chest got a rash of goose bumps that spread across his skin. He didn't like the fact that it physically felt good, but it was unwanted touches that Zack needed to stop so he grabbed the man's wrists and angrily whispered, "Don't touch me like you care for me."

"Well, you may not want it, but that is what I want. I want to touch you all over, at least until you're as hard as me."

Alarm bells rang in his head as he yelped louder that he intended, "What?"

Raising his eyes to the taller man, a craving smile showed the slightly crooked and yellowing teeth of the unhealthy man, "That's right, although I like to dominate women, I like men to dominate me." The dumbfounded look on Zack's face spoke a million words and the tech spoke again with an amused lilt in his voice as he enunciated painfully slow for Zack's understanding, "I. Want. You. To. Fuck. Me."

Raising his hands, the former Soldier covered his face and muttered under his breath, "Oh Gaia, this can't be happening."

The feeling of the oddly rough hands of the tech moving down his chest and to the waistband of his shorts startled him as his shorts were lowered. Looking down at the smiling dark-haired tech as he put Zack's slack flesh in his mouth, he felt tears well up, but he was not going to let this man see him cry, not going to let him see his weakness.

After several minutes, Zack still fought the feeling, but it wasn't necessary because his fear kept him from getting aroused, regardless of the activity that the tech did to him. With a sudden movement, he was released from the man's mouth and the wet skin that was now exposed to the chilly air caused a reaction, but it wasn't fast enough to suit the smaller man.

"Lay down," Was the next command that Zack received.

Sometime during the time that the man was down there, he had stealthily stripped his clothes off, and Zack had not noticed in the least, but he wasn't exactly paying attention.

Laying Zack down on his back, the man positioned himself over his legs as he soothingly spoke, not necessarily to Zack, but more to the slightly hardened flesh in front of his face, "Come on, get hard for me." When the man stopped and pulled something out of his pants that lay in a heap on the floor and squeezed some, of what could only be lubrication, out on one of his hands just before it disappeared behind the tech's back, he began working Zack with his mouth again. The moans from the tech told Zack exactly what the man was doing to himself.

Disgusted, Zack covered his face again, but soon after, he heard the tech say as seductively as he could, "Take me, now."


Waking with a start, Zack could hear the echo of the man's words after the first time, "Next time will be better." It was after that first time, that Zack had to start performing other things, and it was at that time that a guard joined in and he had to make a deal with him too.

Shaking uncontrollably, he opened his eyes and tried to make himself remember that it was just a dream; which happened a long time ago, but the sounds that the man had made while they were together sent a shot of revulsion down his spine. The taste of the guard in his mouth made him gag, he could still taste him, even months and years later.

Sitting up, he pushed the memory away, pushed the noise and tastes away and brought himself back to the little house in the Frog Forest, on a large couch. Sweat dripped from his brow, wetting his hair and his back. Another gag sent him forward on his hands and knees to the floor as he coughed and a violent sob escaped.

The entire time he endured that hell, before the men got transferred, he never cried. After the men left, right before Harding showed up, he never cried. The entire time that he and Cloud were on the run, he never cried about his torture by the hands of those men. Now he let it out, let it ripple, ripping and tearing its way out of his chest as he felt those moments, just like they were happening again. Drops of salty tears fell, making puddles and widening the droplets of sweat that joined them on the hard wood floor.

Sitting up with his back against the side of the couch, the dark room embraced him, comforted him as he wrapped his arms around himself, rocking back and forth, wishing to go home. He wanted his mother to stroke his hair, kiss his forehead and tell him that it would all be alright; he wanted his father to put his arm around him and give him a nudge of encouragement to keep his hopes up.

But there in the darkness, he let it encapsulate him as he let loose those feelings that he had held on to for so long, those memories that he wished could be forgotten…

The tick of the clock, the creak of the house as it swayed in the wind, the rattle of a loose window pane as it danced in the frame were the only immediate sounds he heard after he stopped crying. Sitting in the same spot that he had found himself in, he dared not move as he tried to wrap his head around the reasons for his being on the run. He was a father now and his daughter slept just a few feet away, oblivious of his torment.

A whine and a gurgle preceded a winding up of a tiny infant cry, such a small sound and it helped him shove the sound of the men back as he got over to the makeshift bed that he had crafted after they got to the house and before Cloud had woken up. There in the bassinette, lay a writhing newborn with his hair and brightly glowing eyes visible through the dark. Squinting in her work up to a full on cry, the glow disappeared when she closed her eyes and he wiped his hands on his thighs, feeling he needed a shower after his nightmare memory woke him. He didn't want to hold his child with those hands, but she was not going to wait and if he didn't pick her up, she would begin wailing and wake Cloud and Red.

Feeling the wiggling bundle in his hands soothed him as she struggled to look at him, "Shhh, it's okay Charlotte, I'm here." Pulling her up into his arm and cradling her, his free hand went to her long tiny fingers and she gripped his index finger with strength that he didn't think was normal for an infant, but he regarded it as Hojo's manipulation.

Right now though, she had stopped crying as she pulled his finger to her mouth and began trying to suckle. Zack couldn't help the soft grin that crossed his lips, "You're hungry aren't you? Well, let's go get mommy then."

With his finger still in her mouth, he could feel her biting down with her gums, and he was glad that she didn't have teeth yet, otherwise she probably would have taken the tip of his finger off. Making his way into the bed room, it had only been a few hours since the birth, and Cloud slept solidly.

A wave of panic settled in his gut as he suddenly feared she had slipped back into her coma-like state. With his elbow, he firmly nudged her shoulder, "Cloud." At first there was no movement except for the movement of her shoulders with her breathing so instead of touching her, he lowered his mouth to her ear and said her name again, "Cloud."

With a jolt, she turned and wiped the sleep from her eyes and said with a yawn, "…What?" Then a grimace covered her face as she realized her place now and the pain she was in.

He said simply, "You need to feed the baby."

Her eyes widened as she let a slight smile curl up one side of her lips as she took in the sight of Zack's large frame holding a tiny baby with one of his fingers in her mouth, but still she questioned sleepily, "Huh?"

Zack could see the humor in the sight as he cleared his throat and looked down at the fussy baby, "You need to feed Charlotte."

Blinking slowly, she looked down at her enlarged breasts and began to hyperventilating and she asked, "Oh yeah, I guess that's why they hurt so much."

Zack had to remind himself that she wasn't ready and when the baby forced his finger from her mouth, she wailed as her legs and arms strained from the effort of her cry. When he looked back at Cloud her horrified look changed to annoyance when she realized that the front of her dress was suddenly wet with milk. All Zack could say was, "Let me go get you a towel."

"Give me the baby first."

She held her arms up, hands out with a look on her face that Zack wasn't sure what it meant. As he handed their daughter over to her, his heart beat faster. He wondered if her rejection before was just her fatigue. The dark circles under her eyes were indicative of lack of sleep, but the look in her eyes was fresh and rejuvenated.

When she took the baby, the wiggling bundle instantly calmed and looked directly in Cloud's eyes until she lowered the front of her dress, exposing what the baby needed and she instantly latched on to Cloud's nipple. A hard grimace squished the new mother's features as the blonde's mouth opened in a silent scream.

Putting his hands in his back pockets, Zack asked, "Are you okay?"

"Uh yeah I guess, it just hurts a little and I wasn't expecting it."

"Let me go get you a glass of water and something to cover yourself." Bringing a glass of water back, and handing her a small blanket, he noticed that Cloud had scooted up to the headboard and she actively tried not to look at the baby who Zack could hear vigorously swallowing the milk into her empty stomach, "Here's some water." He couldn't help but smile, this is what he wanted, a family.

Handing Zack back the now empty glass, the blond asked, "Could I get something to eat too, please?"

"Oh! Yeah, I'll get you something, no problem!" Feeling better about his nightmare, it was almost forgotten at the sight and sounds of the two that he would lay down and die for. He would defend them to the death, regardless of the circumstances, he knew that he couldn't allow anything to happen to either of them.

In the middle of making a sandwich with the some of the cooked bird-like creature and wild growing lettuce that Red had found, he was about to head back to the room when the hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention. Peeking out the window, he noticed two glowing blue eyes and a black wing unfurled as the man sat on the back patio area, watching the brunette in the kitchen.

Heading into the living room, he grabbed his sword and flung the back door open to an empty area. Genesis was gone, and as the feeling slowly subsided, he remembered the sandwich and his two hungry girls.


A/N: Thanks to everyone who reads, favorites, subscribes and/or reviews, I appreciate your time and I dedicate all of this to you. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy."

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