I know the last chapter was a little harsh but bear with me. Kiki and Starscream's relationship is going to get better. I promise. Kiki just has to get over a few issues and get a little advice from Allie.

I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. I had to have a little angst in the characters to help move the story. Glad the you are enjoying the story so far. Please take a moment leave a review. I do read them. Enjoy!

She laid in her berth and cried. Kiki was so confused and she didn't know how to express it. Her spark ached to see him but she CPU kept replaying them torturing her and raping her. How was she to trust him if she couldn't see past her processor? She hated feeling this way; she used to be the type of femme that was logical and level headed. She even had some telepathic abilities though not as strong as Shalon's and Allie's, but now she felt like just a shell of what she had once been. To top off all the feelings of inadequacy and failure, he made her realize how alone she felt.

When she had been in his arms in the cave, she had felt so wanted and feminine. It took her breath away just remembering how good and felt, how wonderful he smelt of energon, and how she had felt peace in his arms for the first time. Even tonight, when he had held her and they were reading, it had felt incredibly good and then he had kissed her and her spark had leapt in her chest, but her CPU overruled her spark and she had fled in fear and anguish.

Kiki raised up as she thought about Allie, but Allie had closed her bond toward all of the femmes. She did that when Sentinel was around. Kiki feared she may be having one of her headaches, but Kiki needed her commander tonight regardless of Allie's mate being here at the hall. She quickly donned a robe and ran out of her quarters and up the stairs to the third level. She stopped, breathless and confused, at her door and rung the bell. She heard the pinging of the chime but startled as Lord Megatron was the one who answered the door.

"Hello little one. Are you looking for someone?" Megatron said amused.

"No…no my lord." She stammered hesitantly. She looked down at her feet before continuing. "Is Allie here?"

"She is resting in her quarters with Optimus. Can I help you?" He asked her.

"Oh…no… I needed to talk to her. I'll come back." Kiki said disappointment evident in her voice. She started to turn away but then she heard, "Kiki?"

It was Optimus Prime.

"Kiki? Do you need something.?" Optimus walked to the door. He stopped next to Megatron who moved to the side so Optimus could see her.

"I needed to see Allie." She said softly. "If she is resting I can come back later." Kiki started to turn away but Optimus placed his hand on her shoulder. Kiki flinched from his touch but Optimus eased the contact.

"Here, she is lying down but she would want to see you if you needed her." Optimus gently led her to the door of their berth room. The door opened and Kiki could see that Allie had her lights turned down low and Allie herself was lying down on the berth with a cloth and ice pack over her eyes. Optimus led Kiki to the edge of the berth and directed her to sit down. Kiki looked back to see Megatron at the door, but he chose to stay there.

"Megatron?" Optimus asked him.

"No, I just wanted to make sure Allie was okay." He left and the door slid closed. Kiki sat there waiting.

"Kiki what is it?" Allie finally asked. Kiki could tell by her voice that she was tired.

"Maybe I should come back when you are feeling better." Kiki said.

"No, it's okay. I am just resting." Allie removed the cold press and smiles as she patted for Kiki to come closer. "What's on your mind Kiki?" Allie asked her as she looked up at Optimus.

"I'll go and get us some energon from the dispenser." Optimus said as he left the femmes on the berth. Kiki released the breath she had been holding as he left to the living room.

"Allie, how do you know if you are ready for a relationship?" Kiki asked her. She twiddled her thumbs and played with her fingers as she looked at her hands in her lap, her brown hair falling to hide some of her troubled expression.

"Kiki, we never know when that special someone is going to come into our lives. You especially have some very high hurdles to overcome. Do you want a relationship?" Allie asked her.

"I think I do. I mean after the cave, I miss him." She whispered brokenly as she looked up with tears in her eyes. "I went to him earlier tonight but he… well he… oh Allie, I don't know what to do!" She cried to her commander and friend. Allie reached to her and wrapped her arms around the broken girl.

"When I ma with him it feels so right, but then he wants more and I am scared." Kiki told her.

"What scares you the most, Kiki? Being held and touched by him, or being without him at all?" Allie asked her softly. Kiki pulled back to look at Allie. "How far have you gone with him?" Allie asked.

"I let him kiss me tonight. I kissed him before I ran out." Kiki said.

"What do you want?" Allie asked her again.

"I want him." Kiki said as a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Then go be with him." Allie said back to her.

"But what if… what if I can't go through with it?" Kiki asked trying to choke back the emotions and failing.

"Then he is a fool for trying to push you and I will make him pay for it." Allie said smiling at the frightened femme. Optimus walked back in and stopped to give Allie a moment to finish talking with Kiki.

"It's okay to be scared Kiki, but only you can decide if you are ready to take a chance. If he is worth it and you feel that you can trust him, then go for it, but if you never take a chance then how do you know if you are ready?" Allie told her softly. She held Kiki for a moment and then pulled back to make sure that she was listening. Allie watched her face and then let her go.

"Are you going to him tonight?" Allie asked her.

"I think so." Kiki answered. "I need to at least apologize to him and if I wait till tomorrow I won't do it due to nerves." She replied.

"Good. I sense he is still up and I get the impression that he is as restless as you are." Allie smiled at her. "He is a good mech and I think he can relate to your fears more than you realize. After all, he has been a victim of Megatron's temper tantrums and I think he will understand better than you might credit him for."

"Has he ever been raped?" Kiki asked her.

"I don't know but I do know that he has received the bad end of Megatron's temper and that means that he has been beaten to within an inch of his life." Allie said thoughtfully.

"Is Megatron really like that?" Kiki asked.

"He can be but drastic situations can make us all behave irrationally." Allie said.

"Like you losing it that time in the raptor when Shalon put herself in danger when she didn't have to?" Kiki asked.

"Yes, I did act very irrationally and Shalon did pay dearly for it." Allie replied. "It's not too late to go talk to him if you want to." Allie whispered to her as she hugged the femme once more and let her go. Kiki stood up and smiled at Allie.

"I'm still scared." She said.

"When I didn't remember Optimus I was scared too." Allie said.

"What did you do?" Kiki asked.

"I went with my gut feeling, the one telling me that he wouldn't hurt me." Allie told her.

"Did it work out?" Kiki persisted.

"It did in the end. He is here now watching you." Allie laughed as Kiki swirled around alarmed that Optimus had heard them.

"It's okay. I am the epitome of discretion." Optimus softly stated and walked forward now that his presence had been identified. He handed Allie an energon cube and offered one to Kiki.

"Thank you." Kiki drank it quickly and handed the empty cube back to Optimus. "Thank you . I do feel better." She said as she smiled.

"Good, now go take care of it so he will know where you both stand." Allie told her and Kiki quickly left.

"Are you feeling any better?" Optimus asked her as he took Kiki's former position on the berth.

"Yes, I am actually. Kiki is easy and the pain killer that Doc sent me has helped tremendously." She said as she put the cold press back on her face and Optimus helped her to lie back down.

"Good. Let me take that for you." He took the empty cube as Allie settled under the blankets. Optimus placed the cubes on the night stand and pulled back the blankets to join her.

"Do you think she will follow through?" Optimus murmured as he settled himself to get comfortable.

"Yes, she does want to be with him and I think she is ready. If it hadn't have been for the patrol think they would have been bonded before the rescue."

"You think so?" Optimus asked thoughtfully.

"I know so. Their sparks are already trying to make contact and are synchronizing with each other and they haven't even tried to bond. I have seen it before. It can be hell until a couple realize what is happening. I think Starscream realizes it but he isn't going to do anything unless she is willing to connect with him. He doesn't want to hurt her." Allie said.

"I think their situation is similar to how we felt." Optimus said. "We overcame it and I think they will too."

Optimus hears a knock on the door and stood up to check who it was.

"Hey, everything okay?" It was Megatron. "Did Starscream so anything to hurt her?"

"No, they are fine. Kiki just wanted some advice and if she took it then both of them will be very happy." Optimus told him.

"Good. Is Allie fine?" He asked once again.

"Yes, she has a processor ache and needs her rest." Optimus said. "Good night, brother."

"Good night, Optimus." Megatron said but he took note that it was the first time that Optimus had called him brother without it having double meaning.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Starscream was up for about the fifth time that night. After Kiki had left Skywarp had bounded in demanding to know what happened and why she had left so suddenly when it seemed that they were getting along and now, after convincing Skywarp to go to recharge Starscream was up with a cube of high grade that Skywarp had snuck away from Doc and Ratchet. He sipped it slowly since he didn't want his head to swim. Apparently Ratchet liked his high grade strong and aged and it was very good, better than what Swindle brought to the Nemesis. He was just getting up to go back to his berth when the door pinged once again. Figuring that it was Thundercracker checking on him and Warp he sauntered slowly to the door and opened it only to star in astonishment at who was there.

"Barricade saw Warp sneaking off with my high grade. I just wanted to make sure you two weren't doing anything real stupid before I went to bed." Doc said as she smirked at the red seeker.

"I'm just having one small cube." He told her.

"Good, I make it very potent." Starscream gaped at the femme. He would have never guessed that she was the one who had a still. "I'll see you in the morning then since the cat got your glossa." She laughed. "I just wanted to check on you and say good night." Doc nodded at him and turned to walk away. He watched her walk down the hall until she disappeared out of sight. He closed the door and went to the dispenser. He placed the empty cube down and turned to walk to his berth room but the door pinged again.

"Did you forget something Doc or do I need to help…." He stopped talking as he saw Kiki standing on the other side of the door. Starscream opened the door wider and just looked at her.

"Can I ask for a second chance?" She asked softly as she stood there looking up at him trembling in fear and expectation. He looked at her for the longest moment as she began to fiddle with her fingers and look down. He could see a tear slip down and fall from her cheek to the ground and he finally sighed and she looked up as he slowly stepped back to allow her to walk in. She did.

"I'm sorry for making you angry." She said. "I was scared and confused and I am sorry that I put you in a difficult position." She told him as she looked at him.

Starscream didn't say anything for a moment. "Would you like something to drink? Warp stole some high grade from Doc and I could pour you a small amount." He said.

"Just a very small one… for courage." She smiled as she said this. Starscream was concerned for her but did not say anything. He poured a small cube and handed it to her.

"If Warp took this from Doc then it is very potent. I have had some before. Thank you." She took the cube from him and sipped it. It was warm going down but Kiki did not have trouble holding it down or getting tipsy since she had already had something in her tanks. She watched Starscream as he watched her and her hands, though they betrayed her nerves, were shaking but she was determined to get through this moment. He was beautiful to her and she did want him, but then she would look at him and her CPU would remind her of other events, of pain and she could not stop her nerves.

"Are you wanting to stay the night?" He finally asked when the tension became unbearable.

"If you will let me." She replied. She dropped her eyes to the ground and Starscream took pity on her. He walked over and took her in his arms as she cried out and pulled him towards her. His face swooped down and he kissed her with all the passion and longing that they both felt and Kiki loved it. Her toes curled and her fingers itched to touch him but she wasn't sure and Starscream picked up on her hesitation. He released her mouth as he looked back at her with dim optics, his breath caught in his intakes. She was beautiful but he could tell she was nervous. He pulled her along to his berth room, setting her half-drunk cube down and taking her hands as he guided her to his berth. She had come back knowing what he wanted and it thrilled him that she was so scared and yet willing to try to overcome her anxiety. If she tried and couldn't go through with it tonight then he would be patient and not push but he wanted her to know that his intention was that of a lover and not as a friend.

Starscream pulled her to him again and kissed her allowing his glossa to slip into her mouth. She startled at the contact but then moaned as he began to cup her face with his hands and explore her mouth cavity. Kiki reached up and pulled him closer by his neck. She loved it when he kissed her and she wanted him to keep kissing her. He let his hands slide down to her neck and he caressed the smooth soft skin as she whimpered and moan. When he pulled up to allow her air her eyes looked drugged with desire and her lips were swollen from his kisses and Starscream growled as she looked magnificent. He couldn't wait to claim her as his. His spark was racing in his chest as it wanted to stake a claim on its potential mate and Starscream knew in that instant why Thundercracker had bonded with Aura that night. The temptation was so great and overwhelming and Starscream realized that he had finally forgiven his trine brother.

Kiki whimpered and moaned as she tried to get closer but Starscream held her at bay. She looked up at him beguilingly as she wondered why he was hesitating. She was trying to overcome her fear to be with him and he was holding her off. He laid her down on his berth and crawled in next to her and just held her as his legs cradled her beneath his form. His hands went to smooth back her hair and she shivered as she realized the submissive position she was in. He felt her tremor reverberate through his chassis and he continued to caress her.

"Are you sure you want this?" He asked her as he looked into her eyes.

"Yes, but I can't help it if I am scared or nervous." She replied.

"We will take this slow. Tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable." He told her softly.

"Okay." As she reached up and caressed his cockpit. Starscream growled as her tiny fingers traced the seams and flitted under the catches of his armor. Starscream smoothed his hands over her chest and Kiki whimpered and arched up into his touch. Her caresses turned to tense touches and Starscream slowed his movements careful not to hurt or frighten her. Starscream took her hands as he leaned back as he straddled her hips careful to keep his weight from crushing her. He took her hands and guided them to his wings. He slowly showed her how to touch them as he moaned to feel her fingers brush and massage them. Kiki watched his face as she pulled up and started to touch his wing on her own. He pulled her on top as she explored him ever so gently. Her curiosity overruled her fear as she slowly touched him as he showed her what he liked and what seams and circuits were sensitive to the touch. She memorized everything that he told her as he softly whispered endearments and encouragements to her.

For the first time in her life Kiki felt in control of what she was doing with a mech. Even before her capture she had been shy and unsure of herself because in the Realm women were taught to submit to their mates. Starscream made her feel as if they were on an equal playing field not just him teaching her to be submissive but teaching her so that she felt freedom in loving him. She smiled as he moaned and bucked beneath her. His movements made Kiki scared that she could make a mech feel that way but at the same time she reveled that her touch could cause him to moan and writhe against her. If her touch could do this, what would happen if she was to kiss him somewhere other than on the mouth. She had seen other couples doing this when they thought no one was looking and she and Shalon was close and she used to ask Shalon why one would do that. Shalon would tell her that when you cared for someone you wanted to 'taste' them, to memorized everything about them and to touch them through your lips was an highly sensitive and pleasurable act.

Kiki leaned down to his wing and felt him shiver as her warm moist breath exhaled over his sensitive wiring. He had off lined his optics when she had begun to touch him but she sensed him turning them back on as her glossa sneaked out to lick at the circuits just below his the smooth metal of the wing.

Starscream gave a low curdling growl as he swiftly pinned a startled Kiki beneath him. Her actions had suddenly generated a fire within his systems and his overheated body quickly had set off the cooling fans that were raging inside him. Kiki was trembling as he held her pinned under his body. She whimpered and squirmed scared of him.

"Sorry, my darling, but if you had done that again I would not have been able to control my dominance over you." He panted out as he held her down until he was sure that he wouldn't hurt her. They stayed like that for several long moments until Starscream's systems had cooled down. "I don't want to hurt you, but maybe we need to establish some rules between each other." He said is hoarsely and Kiki realized that he was exerting strict control over his actions to keep from hurting her. Without any regard to what she was doing her spark pulsed out in comfort.

Starscream felt the pulse and moaned low and deep. The femme was going to be the end of him. Her innocence to what she was doing to him was slowly eating away at his rigid control. He pulled back to give them space and felt her cry out in confusion and frustration but he did not give in to her.

"Kiki, I can't take it slow with you if you keep sending me signals like this." He said to her.

"Maybe you need to just take me, Starscream because this fear is not going away. I want to be free of it but until we do this I will always have this fear in my CPU. I can't help it, but it has been over a year since I came home and I am tired of living with this. I want to move past it, but I have never trusted anyone to connect with until you came here. I trust you. If anything I trust you because you are trying so hard not to hurt me."

Starscream bent over, his chassis still not touching, but his helm gently pressing to her forehead. "I want you to be sure, Kiki." He told her softly. He saw her eyes and he knew. He kissed her long and deep as he felt her arms snake around his neck and her body trying to pull him in. He slowly sunk into her as her legs wrapped around his waist and he hissed in pleasure to feel her so close. He sent his first pulse to her, strong and steady, and she arched against him as she cried out. He slowly began removing her dress and underclothes careful not to startle or scare her. His voice was smooth yet hoarse as he told her his intentions and though she tense, she let him finish. When she had been bared for his pleasure Kiki became nervous. Would he still love her seeing her like this? She tried to cover herself but her took her wrists and pinned them above her head as his other hands ran lovingly up and down her chest. His hands cupped her breasts as his glossa flicked out over the nipples and she cried out as he wasn't allowing her to touch him.

Starscream was careful not to move too fast but his systems were running hot even with his fans kicking in to help control the raging heat. She was small perfect, and she wanted him. His wait had seemed like an eternity even though realistically he had only been here a few days. How had Thundercracker ever had the ability to be so patient if he had felt like this toward Aura.

"Kiki, I am going to touch your valve and I want you to know." He said this softly as his hand reached between them and he done exactly what he had told her. Kiki let out a keening wail and Starscream thought that he hurt her but then she started pushing in to his hand and Starscream kissed her again. He slid his finger into her and she cried out against his mouth, her hands becoming wild as she tried to free them. He instantly let them go and she wrapped one of her hands around his wrist joint tense and scared but she didn't pull him out of her valve. He shifted his weight to his arm as he moved his body to her side. He left his finger in her as he began to slowly move it in and out getting her used to the idea of him pleasuring her. She watched his face as he slowly moved in and out of her. Her hand stayed tensely on his wrist but she didn't demand that he stop so he watched her face, looking for signs of discomfort.

"Kiki, tell me if you do or do not like this." He said softly as he continued to move his finger in her. She nodded to let him know that she understood but she didn't trust her voice. She could feel herself getting warm and wet in her valve and she began to whimper and moan again and Starscream took this as a good sign. He pulled out as she arched toward his hand but then she felt him enter two fingers and her hand tightened on his wrist.

"Kiki?" He asked her very tenderly but she thrashed her head back and forth as he began to scissor inside of her.

"Star? Please, I need…. please…" She cried out as he felt how tight she was, but at the same time her body was preparing her for him but the urgency of fluids that it was making. His body seemed casual but internally it was raging to claim its mate. She bucked and arched against him as she whimpered and moaned. Starscream slowly climbed back on top of her as she reached over and began to touch his wings, tracing the edges and causing him to moan. He bent one of her legs so that he fit better against him as he retracted his interface panel.

"Kiki, give me your hand." He said to her and she placed her hand in his as he guided her between their bodies to allow her to touch his spike. In instinct, her hand wrapped around him in a tight instinctive caress and this time it was Starscream who cried out as he pushed into her innocent hand.

"Kiki." He breathed her name like a caress and Kiki arched into the fingers that were inside her. Starscream untangled her hand from his spike as he took his fingers out of her. He lined his spike up with her valve as he slowly, kissed her. Her lips were like an addictive drug, his senses were drowning in her, and as he began to slowly push into her valve he thought he would die and end up in the well of sparks. She felt wonderful and she was willingly here even if she was scared, she was willing to face her fear because she trusted him. He stopped halfway to give her time to adjust before he pulled back some and pushed in a little faster, more insistent.

Kiki tensed up as she felt him enter her. Her eyes became glazed as for a moment she was somewhere else, somewhere hurtful and painful but then she felt Allie's presence in her mind sending her wave of comfort and reassurance that she had done the right thing and her focus changed from pain and humiliation to pleasure and trust as Starscream's face came back into focus. She trusted him not to hurt her and as his face became her focus the painful memories receded to the back of her CPU. She reached up and pulled him in close as she kissed him and with a growl Starscream gently pulled out and thrust into her. Kiki cried out as she felt a painful tear from her seal being broke where Doc had rebuilt her but then pleasure replaced the pain and she relaxed into his rhythm. She wrapped her legs around his waist as she felt the energy begin to build within her. She gasped and whimpered as Starscream moved steadily in her but it was the spark pulses that unraveled her composure. She began to scream uncontrollably as he sent steady pulses and she couldn't keep up. She was too new at this and he knew it but didn't care. He wanted her to scream out to overload as he completely filled her.

She cried out and screamed as he kept the rhythm and pulses coming. He looked down at her as her chest began to glow. His cockpit retracted back to reveal his spark and he lowered his chest slowly to hers as she wailed out as the overload took her by force. She grasped at his arms as he followed her over, both blanking out as they crashed together on the berth.