Christmas Nightmare
~Christmas Shopping (Part Two)~

"Not the… when was the first time we met? I mean…" Toshiro's two teal eyes suddenly went wide, as he was half way to taking another bite.

"I was there, Toshiro, when you first opened your eyes, and took a look at the world around you," Gin stated, suddenly causing Toshiro to pause, quite surprised. Gin watched as the crepe went down from the boy's mouth, as his mind wrapped around what was going on, almost as if her were trying to find another meaning, but couldn't.

He finally let out a chocked reply. "Yeah right. I died, froze to death, then came to soul society, unless you meant you were the first person I saw when I got here…"

"So says the person whose inner world , is a plain of ice," Gin stated softly, his hands folded now in his lap, and his leg no longer crossed.

"You're lying!" Toshiro suddenly pulled away, so that he could directly face the man, irritated that this would come up, of all things. "This is one of those games, isn't it! I don't need this Gin! Please!"

The tone of the adult suddenly turned sad, a true sadness written all over his voice. "There is a little old lady, in the Rukongai, who would refuse to lie to you. She would tell you, I brought you to her, as a newborn babe. She is also the one who named you."

"Oh… and what else would granny tell me?" Toshiro's tone was full of irritation, and he hadn't take n another bite yet.

Gin, suddenly tensed up at this, at gave him a weak smile. "The best way to put it, she doesn't deserve to be my mother. No, let me rephrase that, as she defiantly deserves to be a mother. I don't deserve to have her for my mother. She deserves better, but then, you have an idea why I say that. I have to say, the one good thing I've ever done, has left you with her."

"In other words, you're saying that you didn't want me, right…" the small boy stated, pulling back and shaking his head.

"No… I was trying to say, where I was something she never deserved, you were something that she deserved, and she was blessed to have you," the man stated, raising his head towards the sky, taking in the big holy wreathes.

"As if I am really anyone special," came the shaking of his head. "Though… would grandma be able to tell me who my mother is, or is that something you'll have to tell me?"

One of Gin's eyebrow's suddenly rose up. "No… I lied to her about your mother dying in child birth. I doubt that she'd… wait. Why are you even needing to ask who your mother is?"

Toshiro's nose wrinkled up, as if he was slightly disgusted. His voice was also chocking, as he held back "That question makes me think you don't know for some reason. You had an affair with another woman. That's why I'm what caused the rift between you. I'm the result of that affair. Well, aren't I?"

The man's lips suddenly pressed back, as a short, stifled laugh escaped his lips, then burst out. "God… that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. I'll blow a little theory in that little theory of yours. If Rangiku thought you were some child I had in an affair, there would be no way in hell she would be accepting of you as she is."

"Why do I think you're only telling me that, because you want me to have a positive outlook on this," the small taicho took another bite of his crepe, with vigor, then spoke around the bite in irritation. "Then she doesn't know about me, and you got me away before she would know about me, simply because it was your attempt to hide the affair."

He watched as Gin stated at him for a few minutes. The man then spoke up, after contemplating what the child had said. "Can I ask, why you didn't make the guess that Matsudo is your mother. The two of you are rather close and attached to each other, so I figured that she would have been your first guess."

At that, Toshiro stopped eating again, and glanced down at the ground, his Adam's apple bobbing. His voice was becoming a tad more strained. "If Rangiku was, I would know, because I trust her enough to tell me."

A hand suddenly went and ruffled the boy's hair. "I guess that's fair then, to understand why you didn't realize who your mother is. That was really what I meant by needing to ask me who it was, nothing negative."

"But…" Toshiro glanced up, a few tears welling in his eyes, without him realizing. "How can a mother not know who their child is."

"How can Ran not know," Gin's hand wiped the boy's eyes, suddenly causing Toshiro to pull away, which also caused him to calm down some. "I told her, she gave birth to a baby girl that was dead. I made it so, she wouldn't go looking for you, and if she did, she would look for the wrong thing. Instinctively, I think she knows, but I really can't be sure. Your belief that you died, and came to soul society actually helps, else I think she would have told you something."

"This… this is why she avoids my birthday, isn't it? This is why she becomes depressed every year. I never noticed, but it really never coincided with Christmas, but my birthday…" A glazing came to the child's eyes.

"Unfortunately, yes. I've noticed it too," Gin stated, letting out a big sigh, and taking a drink of his hot cocoa.

"Then why, the hell, would you do this?" Toshiro's cheeks puffed out, irritation in his voice, as he tried holding everything back, yet it wasn't so bad, now that he had someone else's problem to focus on again.

"Simple, Aizen," came the bland statement.

"So you would do anything for him," the small boy's word was dark, and he wiped away the few lingering tears from his eyes, even though his voice was still stiff.

"He didn't tell me to give you up," Gin stated, glancing away. "IF he had known you were my child, he wouldn't have let me. I knew, before you were born, that you would be very special, that you would have high rietsu and high potential, a child genius too. That also meant, he would have wanted to use you, experiment on you, manipulate you. I would do, what I did, again, Toshiro."

"Then you can say that you've done two good things in your life?" The white haired youth's voice wasn't so sure of this, as he happened to have a self doubt, though this was normal for him, to have self doubts about his own self worth.

"Three, if you count how Ran and I met," Gin stated, suddenly seeing the tenth division's taicho's suddenly light up with interest, which was to be expected. "I think though… that one is only fair for Ran to tell you."

"Fair enough… I guess," two teal eyes still gave Ichimaru a wary look, and he tensed up. "What I don't understand is, why did a rift form?"

Gin's face suddenly turned to him, his eyes wide open, trying to read the child's thoughts. ""Well, for one thing, I didn't act like a person whose child died. That's always bother Rangiku, understandably though. I don't ever visit the grade I made. I wanted Aizen to thing that I was aloof. Plus, the day that Matsumoto first met you, she was likely visiting the grave."

"In other words, it is near where grandma lives? If so, I am glad you didn't get her hurt." Again, the preteen was more focused and concerned about someone else, though he wiped his eyes again. "Don't tell anyone I almost cried, ever."

"Ahh… so you noticed," Gin shook his head, a bit of mirth in his eyes. "Don't plan on it. Ran… when she found out she was going to have you, she realized that she could give a child what she never had, mother, father, family. Her dream was to do that with me. I think that my betrayal with everyone was the final straw of breaking that dream, finally and completely.

Toshiro made a face, that was slightly discouraged. "So, you don't think Ran and you will get back together?"

Ichimaru took a deep breath. "I knew that was a risk I was taking. Ran and I were young when you were born, still children ourselves, though older then you equivalently. I felt the alternative risk, Aizen was far greater. No… the chances are very slim. There are… other things I am more worried about.

Toshiro crumpled up the wrapped for his crepe. "I think the only thing that will make her happy, is to tell her the truth."

"Or, it could also make it far worse. Not for you, but me. I mean, I think it would make the two of you closer," Gin stated, then shoved his partially eaten crepe towards Toshiro. "Here…"

"You've eaten off of it," Toshiro narrowed his eyes, almost as if he wasn't sure to think of what Gin had done.

"Only a few bites. I'm not hungry, and unlike you," the man stated. As the boy opened his mouth, his stomach suddenly let out a large grumble.

"Fine…"

M

When they got on the bus to go back, they both happened to find, that the bus was a lot more empty. Toshiro's rietsu though, was still tense, and fluctuating his feelings, showing a negative outlook on what was going on, even if there had been a good conversation. He had nearly let out his feelings, but had managed to keep his cool, for the most part.

Gin watched him carefully, wondering if the child had any bit of animosity against him. Not that he really believed him, but he was more worried about what was going on in the boy's head, and whether or not he was actually being able to cope with what he had told him. Normally, Ichimaru's anxiety over this, would have brought on some odd whim.

Yet, he held back, knowing that it would likely just make the situation into something worse, or something negative that it might not already be. He took a deep breath, as he sat in the seat, with the boy simply sitting there, staring out at nothing. Every so often, Hitsugaya would reach up to itch, only to have his hand pulled away.

"He's to quite. Hit him on the head," that voice stated in Gin's head, suddenly annoying the man.

"Yeah… and then make him think we his father are even more psychotic than ever," came the reply of Gin's zampaktuo.

"No… good parents spank…" the other thing hummed.

"What are you two doing?" Gin closed his eyes, listening to his two so called friends had their debate. "I don't want him to see me that way, if possible…"

"Don't you think it is a bit late for that?" the hollow suddenly asked, curling up to go to sleep. "The kid is just as mental as you are… so, don't you think you should try using some logic about what you would do?"

"I have to agree, Gin… while we both agree, acting crazy isn't the option, you shouldn't just hold back on what you need to do," the zampaktuo stated, emphasizing that the two had been trying to make some sort of point.

"I've done what I need to do, and that was to stay away. I have no right, as his father to step in, and meddle."

"I wasn't thinking about it being your right," the zampaktuo sighed. "I was thinking it was more of what you owe him, for keeping this secret from him, and keeping him from his mother. Ran-chan, you admit, makes an awesome mother…"

"That pause was a thought towards her drink…" Gin was shaken from his thoughts though, as he suddenly felt a thump on his side, and he glanced over, as he heard a soft snoring. He saw that Hitsugaya had fallen asleep, and was now leaning up against him. No being able to resist, he wrapped one arm around the boy to support him, and make sure he didn't fall, when the bus came to a stop.

Author's note – Ahh… I updated with two chapters. Actually, it was supposed to be one, but it would have been way to long, in comparison with the other chapters… :)