Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.
A/N: This chapter is pretty dark and the next few will probably be dark as well, so settle in. I also loved the quote so much from the last chapter that I am including it on my list of quotes I love in my profile. In this story, Tifa is not the mayor's daughter, she is just another poor girl like Cloud. I will get into it a little more in the next chapter. Just so that you know, Zack will be having more flashbacks, dreams and thinking back to when he and Cloud were together.
I updated this notice on the last chapter, but just in case you didn't see it yet, XamreiKH97 has illustrated another picture for this story and I added the link in my profile. I was unable to get the link to work for tumblr. Be sure to check out her other works and leave comments, she has some pretty awesome stuff! Thanks so much!
Don't forget about the poll on my profile, please take some time and vote!
SubZeroChimera isn't available to beta for a short time so I am going naked and beta-less for the time being. *frowny face*
"Cleverness is not wisdom." –Euripides
To You I Give My Heart
Chapter 32
~Temperamental Tempers~
Zack didn't know how long he'd been there, days or weeks, subjected to Harding and his painful attention. So far, the former Soldier had endured the man as he'd beaten him, ripped his shirt off, licked his arm and neck clean, broken a few more finger bones, urinated on him and slept on him as though he were a bed. Being kept in the restraints and laying on his right side, his body hurt, unlike anything he'd felt before, a numbing and prickling pain, nothing like the obvious and blatant torture that Hojo inflicted during his imprisonment before.
Hearing the soft snore of the man lying over him, he tried not to retch at the smell coming from Harding, and his own waste. Hojo had withheld food, but allowed water and Harding had given him water, from the palms of his filthy hands. Zack drank greedily from the man's soiled hands; excessive thirst can make you do things that you normally wouldn't.
The lack of food was a problem. During one of the short beatings that Jacob gave him, he had bitten him on the back of his shoulder. Zack felt sure that if he hadn't screamed at the former physician's assistant, the man would have taken a chunk of skin from him.
Now, as Harding slept, Zack worked at loosening his hands from his restraints, which Harding had played with. All the movement that he did, shook Jacob and his breath would hitch, making Zack pause. Either Harding was laying over his arm, or cuddled up to his chest with the insane man's face buried in the larger man's neck.
With the throb in his broken fingers, it was difficult to feel the ropes, but he managed to loosen them to the point that they slid down his wrists to the floor. Suddenly free of the ropes on his wrists, and the extra weight laying on him, his body fell forward to his stomach and he screamed out, his muscles straining against the new position.
Harding jumped up and screeched at him. From his stomach, his arms still held their place as though they were still tied behind him. Involuntary tears started down his face, he panted and grunted in an ineffectual effort to lessen his pain, but Harding didn't help when he suddenly perched upon his back, "Get off… me Jacob!"
Feeling the weight shift, he heard the man's speech grumble from deep in his throat, "Miii-ne." Taking Zack's head in his hands, he hit the floor with the brunette's face, "Miii-ne."
Hearing and then feeling the crunch of his nose on the floor, Zack yelled out, "Fuck! Yes! Yes! I'm yours, just get the fuck off me!" Unable to move, Zack laid there and turned his cheek to the tile, cooling his sweating brow, he panted quietly, "Please, just get off my back." The pain screamed and ebbed throughout his body as pins and needles replaced the immediate pain as long as he didn't move. The feel of his stiff, urine soaked pants, or the smell that he now emitted didn't matter to him any longer, it was the pain in his joints and muscles was all he could concentrate on. Faintly, he felt a trickle of blood from his nose as it began to pool on the tile.
Although he was glad he was free of the restraints around his wrists, he wished he'd waited until Harding wasn't sleeping on him. Still sitting on his back, Jacob jerked and jumped at a click by the door. With a squeal, the man eagerly leapt toward it, leaving Zack screaming out at the movement; it was their water for the day.
Watching the nude man run, crouched over as though he hadn't stood straight in a very long time, he took the small plastic bucket and stuck his hands in and drank the water cupped in his hands. Zack dreaded what was fixing to happen, but it happened every time, despite his protests to Harding. After getting his fill of water, Harding snapped his attention to the man on the floor and drug the bucket over, spilling some along the way.
A panic flitted in his chest when he saw Harding's intentions of moving him. Immediately trying to get the man's attention, Zack yelled as loud as he could, "No no no no! I don't want any water!"
"Driii-nk," Reaching over, he flipped Zack over to his back and the former Soldier couldn't hold back his scream as his stiff muscles didn't want to move to the new position. Putting a water drenched, dirt covered finger against Zack's trembling and parted lips as he tried to silence him, tears filled the brunette's eyes as he worked to rein in his sob of pain so he wouldn't drown from the water now being poured into his mouth.
Turning his head to dodge the incoming water became difficult when Harding moved around and put his knees on either side of his head, locking him in place. Looking at the now insane man, upside down, he tried again to get him to stop but it didn't matter, what Harding wanted right then, Harding got.
After laying there on his back for a while, Zack was able to finally move, even with his ankles still tied together and tethered to the large steel posts on the wall. However, his protests were largely ignored when Harding decided that he wanted to sit on his lap and cuddle with him. Although Zack wanted the extra body for warmth, he didn't want him to fall asleep on him again.
Before Hojo had gotten his dangerous hands on the Physician's Assistant, when he was standing up straight, Harding wasn't much shorter than him, but as he was now, he seemed a much smaller representation of the man he'd known. His weight wasn't too much of an issue since Hojo seemed to have starved the man, but he was deceptively strong.
Starting with trying to wiggle his fingers, Zack winced at the pain in his broken fingers. Luckily, they were clean breaks and they were healing straight so he didn't have to worry about re-breaking them, except for his ring finger on his left hand. Slowly lifting his left hand, the finger bent sideways at the middle knuckle and the tip of it hit his middle finger and he made the mental note to fix his finger before it healed much more than it was right then. Feeling the man lying on top of him, as though Harding were a dog and Zack was his doggy bed, he sighed and thought of Cloud and the look she gave him just before he'd left to intercept the military, did she remember her past? Did she remember him?
Feeling sleep begin to take him, he drifted to an unpleasant memory of the woman who would always hold his heart…
From over his shoulder, Sephiroth asked Cloud, "So how does it feel?"
"How does what feel sir?"
"Being back home, I don't have a hometown, my mother died when I was born, so I grew up within Shinra."
Cloud glanced at Zack, her eyes wide in amazement that he knew that she was from this town. Even with her helmet on, Zack couldn't miss those beautiful eyes, "Well, it's kind of weird, sir." As quickly as she'd looked at him, she looked away, back to the General.
"Zackary, I believe we have a room at the Inn, go and check in. Cadet Strife, after you and Cadet Abbott check all the gear, you may go visit with your family and friends." With no more to say, Sephiroth made his way to the mayor's house to go over the arrangements that Shinra had made for a guide.
The whole way from Midgar, Cloud hadn't talked with Zack. Although Zack tried to help her through her motion sickness, she refused his help at every turn. Rubbing the back of his head, Zack stepped over to Cloud as she stood at the rear of the truck and caught the gear thrown at her by Abbott. Setting a large bag to the ground, she didn't see the bag headed right at her head by the cadet that was up in the truck, who wasn't paying attention.
Catching the bag, and saving Cloud from a concussion, Zack winced as she grabbed and jerked the bag from his grasp and slammed the bag to the ground. Clearing his throat, he tried, "Cloud, I'm sorry."
Easily catching the remaining two bags that were wildly tossed to her, Abbott grabbed the last part of the gear, as she actively ignored the brunette Soldier. Dodging the other cadet when he jumped from the back of the truck, she only spared Zack an angry glance. Watching as Jamie and Cloud shouldered the bags, Zack picked up a bag to help, only for her to snatch it from his hand, "Don't you have a room to check on?"
"Cloud please, I said I was sorry." Hearing a stifled snort of laughter from the other cadet, Zack was starting to lose his temper, the Soldier Commander asked sternly, "Do you have something to say Cadet Abbott?"
Clearing his throat of the laughter that once threatened to let loose, the cadet responded seriously and loudly, "No sir!"
With a push, Cloud growled, "Don't yell at Jamie, he didn't do anything."
From his peripheral vision, Zack could see Cadet Abbott and a small crowd gathering, including Sephiroth as he emerged from the mayor's house, all staring at him. He hated doing this, but he didn't feel like the blond left him much choice. Straightening his spine, Zack dropped his hands to his sides and sternly warned Cloud, "Cadet, I strongly urge you to remember that I am your superior officer. You just earned yourself the first shift of guard duty."
Snapping to a strong salute, Zack was glad that Cloud's eyes didn't conjure the dangerous fire that burned and threatened to scorch him where he stood. With a mouth full of contempt, she answered, "…Yes, sir."
Zack was in dangerous territory and he had to tread lightly with her, "Both of you hustle that gear into the Inn. Double time!"
In unison, both cadets yelled, "Yes sir!"
Watching as they ran while weighed down with bags, weapons, maps, blueprints and rations was entertaining to watch and was marginally made comical when Jamie dropped a few things and had to run back and pick the things up from the ground and catch up with Cloud.
Only having one room made it difficult to keep distance between them and Zack could feel the tension that seemed to seep from her pores. Sitting across from her as they ate, she picked at her food.
"Cloud, listen to me please," Zack pushed his plate a few inches from him and rested his arms on the edge of the table.
Looking up, she straightened her back and said, "Yes sir?"
It probably wasn't the best time, but he didn't know when they would actually be alone again, so he had to tell her before he lost his nerve completely, "Stop that, it's just us in here. I need you to listen to me. You know… really listen."
"But sir, you are my superior officer and as such-"
Feeling anger rise up, Zack burst, "-That's enough!" Standing up and making his way around the table, he lifted her up to her feet by her arm, "I need you to know something."
Suddenly having him in her face startled her, causing her to stutter, "Z-Zack, what are you doing!"
"What is going on in here?" Cloud yanked her arm from Zack's hand and snapped to a salute at the sight of the General.
"Seph-General. Cloud -I mean, Cadet Strife and I were just talking."
Sephiroth's eyes surveyed the scene slowly before he returned the salute, "I see." Cloud lowered her arm and stood at attention. Sephiroth entered further into the room and narrowed his eyes at Zack, then he asked Cloud, "Do I need to make separate accommodations for you Cadet Strife?"
Shaking her head, Cloud kept her voice calm, "No sir, I don't want any special treatment."
"Very well," Sephiroth sat at the desk and began going over some paper work.
Taking Cloud by her arm again, he led her out to the hallway. Again she yanked her arm out of his hand after getting out of Sephiroth's presence. He lowered his voice so he wouldn't be heard downstairs or by Sephiroth, he moved a little closer to Cloud's face, "Cloud, I want to apologize about that day at lunch." Crossing her arms, she leaned against the wall but still refused to look at him. Beginning to get infuriated at her, he put his palm on the wall, blocking her in, "I didn't mean what I said at lunch the other day. You know that right?"
Raising her eyes to meet his, her face softened slightly and she sighed before lowering her eyes back to the floor, "You meant every word of it." Looking back up at him, she sighed again, "It's my fault. I didn't make it clear from the beginning that I didn't want you as anything other than a friend."
"Cloud, that's a lie and you know it."
"Is it? What have I ever done to make you think I want something more from you?"
Had she done anything, or was everything he saw from her just his imagination? All the times she laughed at his jokes and the gentle way she touched him, the times at his apartment on movie nights when she would fall asleep against his chest, or after he took her as an apprentice, all those late nights during training that she looked up at him with awe. Was she lying to him then or was she lying to him now?
Straightening his back and dropping his hand, his pride bruised, he swallowed hard, "Okay, I get it. I was mistaken to think that you would think of me in any other way than friend, mentor or teacher." Backing away, she reached out and started to say something, but he cut her off, "I'm going for a walk."
"Zack, wait-"
Turning away from her, he couldn't let her see the tears in his eyes, couldn't let her see his weakness. With what little strength he had left, he said firmly, "Stay at your post, guard this door and get what the General needs."
"Zack that's not what-"
"I mean it Cloud, stay at your post. That is an order!" Keeping himself from running down the stairs like a wounded animal, he slowly made his way out of the Inn, into the brisk night air of the small town. Standing right outside the door, he looked around, he needed to get some space; he suddenly felt the world closing in. Seeing a house off to the side that had a red light right outside in the street lamp, it was one place that every mako town had, and every instructor warned every cadet about, a whore house.
Running his hands over his eyes and wiping the moisture from his face, he ran his hand through his hair. Did he want to go kill something, or throw caution to the wind and pay to get his frustrations out, he wasn't going to hold out for someone who obviously didn't want him, and he had to get over her somehow.
Paying his Gil, the youngest looking one of the three girls in the room took his hand and led him upstairs and shut the door to a small room with a large bed. Rubbing her experienced hands over his chest and arms, she smiled a brilliant smile and said, "I'll take real good care of you, so you don't worry about a thing, we've got all night," She purred the words with a practiced seductive art form.
Just standing there, he looked at her long brown hair. Slowly reaching up, he let his fingers slide the straps of her satiny white nightgown down and let it hit the floor. Her large breasts were perfect, her body was perfect, her face was perfect in the dim light of the room, but as always, she wasn't the one he really wanted. After slowly undressing him like in a dance of temptation, she laid him down and crawled over him, straddling him.
Closing his eyes, he fought tears as he tried not to picture the petite blond that was guarding the room at the Inn. Making himself open his eyes, he watched her move above him, nearly rolling his eyes at the feel of her experienced movements almost losing his self-control. In an effort to regain some control over himself, he asked, "What's your name?"
She panted and smiled and didn't stop her movements, "My name is Tifa. What's yours?"
Flipping her over, he began a rough and steady rhythm as he panted out, almost resting his forehead in the pillow above her shoulder, "Just call me Soldier."
A/N 2: Thanks to everyone who reads, favorites, subscribes and/or reviews, I appreciate your time and I dedicate all of this to you. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy."
Please send me your reviews if you want. It is really easy. Just click your arrow in the little box, write what you thought or felt about the chapter and then click right down there, just below the box. A little lower… a little to the right… yeah, right there! Click it! *grinning*
