Ch. 7 In-Tensions
The Paper Kites- Featherstone
5:00am
Beeep—
Her hand reaches under her pillow to expertly shut off her alarm. Her internal clock, more efficient than the one she sets every night, woke her up before the sound. She pops out of bed with little resistance from her bones. She depends on structure, organization and efficiency. It's the years of routine that enable her mind to focus, unwilling to venture too far from purpose. Everything beyond her schedule brought her too close to the person she didn't want to be—or rather the person she is too afraid to face again. She used to be carefree, like the kind of careless that took her to new places with out knowing how to get back. Now she always has a plan making sure to never wander.
She is scheduled for nine at Santa Monica beach but she wants to get there early to warm up and catch some waves. This gives her plenty of time for her morning run, double check her schedule, and send out a few emails that she promised her brother she would do. Although she is pedantic in her tasks, she isn't one who sticks to formality. Bellamy would say she is a blunt bullet flying through every obstacle with total disregard of how she gets to her target. She gets things done, no doubt, but to her it didn't matter how, just as long as the end goal is met.
Her goal today is to face her.
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5:30am- Trigeda Studios
"Bryan! Load the heavy stuff in the truck first! It's like I'm working with feral children!" Raven exhausts pulling out tent parts and prop pieces that absolutely do not belong in the same truck as the tents.
"And these! Put them in the second truck! We don't need them breaking because of these ignoramus tents that some how our team got stuck setting up!" She yells as she yanks tarps, metal poles, and joints out onto the concrete sending them clanking.
"Chill out Raven! Alright, I'll re-organize it once I get the rest of the stuff out here but you have to relax…" Bryan heaves. "You volunteered to do this last week remember? Something about babes on beaches!" He tries to remind her why she is up this early to set up the beach for rehearsal. Bryan puts a hand on her shoulder while his other hand stops her from pulling out another metal pole.
Raven takes a deep breath and turns toward him, "Yeah… that's before—" she shakes her head, "I'll go in and tell the crew to grab the rest of the stuff while you reorganize this. Tent supplies go in this one and put all materials for prop in the other."
Raven is not a morning person especially not before coffee. She convinced Finn that her crew needed to be on the beach the same day as costume rehearsal to 'test the durability of props'. He is familiar with Raven's tact and more evidently her thirst, so he compromised with her. If she led the team on tent set up she can spend the day with them at the beach. But that was before she knew O was the new stunt coordinator and that was definitely before she ran in to Niylah who told her that O would be at the beach with them today.
-
"What do you mean she is going to be there!?" Raven grabs Niylah by the shoulders.
"She is the surf instructor for the actors today. What's the big deal Ray!?" Niylah looks at her confused.
Raven shakes her shoulders, "The big deal?! I—shit!" She releases her friend with a huff and storms down stairs to start loading the trucks.
-
The news of this was festering inside of her and she needed to be reminded that she could do this; that she wasn't going to be alone today—alone with a half naked Octavia.
-
Graffiki
[5:42am] Claarrrrrkkke! Wake up, this is an Emo-gency!
[5:42am] Wake
[5:43am] Up
[5:43am] Clarke!
[5:43am] Clorrrkk
[5:43am] Clorkel
[5:43am] CLARK!
[5:44am] Graffiki I need your unwavering spiritual guidance! Code Mufasa!
[5:44am] Call me ASAP bitch!
6:40am- Santa Monica Beach
Clarke hadn't answered any of her texts and Raven's been too busy coordinating incompetence to extend a call. They arrived at Santa Monica beach twenty minutes ago and she has been sitting in the drivers seat stewing much like the waves in front of her. This day was not going to be her undoing and she willed it so. Gripping the steering wheel in the parking lot, she stares off into the sunrise beyond the shore. It was nice but she couldn't really focus on the majesty of the California crust. Her mind was caught in a net of past folly.
"Take the poles out fir—AGH!"
Crash, Clank, Clank
Raven shakes her head at the sounds of incapable men. She takes one last deep breathe before exiting the truck to tackle the day's task. Thirty minutes later Raven's team of 5 managed to dolly three tent sets onto the reserved beachfront, a feat in of itself. The sand swallowed feet and wheels as they pushed and pulled. One tent is for wardrobe, hair and make-up, another tent is for food and lounging, and the third tent is for equipment and scripting. It was an all day event that will take place well into the night. They needed to test wardrobe and make-up combos during the day and then lighting, camera angles, boat distances, and set up during the night.
-
7:25am
Raven is up on a ladder securing the Trigeda tarp over the structure when she heard her crew cat calling down below.
"Damn, check it out" he whistles and points toward the water for the guys to follow his line of sight.
Bryan looks out seeing a stunning woman coming out of the water clad in a small bikini all James Bond style toward a surfboard sticking out of the sand. He shakes his head at the rest of the crew completely distracted from their task but continues to help Raven on the opposite end of the tent. Bryan's cup of tea has a different taste to it but he can appreciate a goddess when he sees one. However, he knows what's coming next so he clenches his jaw and prays for their souls.
"Guys!" Raven yells out, completely regretting this venture for the third time today, "Focus you meat heads so we can actually enjoy today-" She turns her head toward the distraction and trails off as soon as she sees her.
She is glistening in the early morning sun, with tan skin, a lean body—fuck—that's when she recognizes her. She freezes on the ladder and her leg locks up causing her to wince in pain. Anger swells up within her; of course O is here extra early making her day already harder than it has to be. And these inbreeds are looking at her like… like..
"shit," she mutters to herself before letting the anger escape with a long side her fury,
" I WILL FIRE! EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TESTICLE UNDER YOUR DICKS! IF YOU DON'T! GET BACK! TO FUCKING WORK!" Raven delivers a guttural demand that surprises even herself.
Once she makes her way down the ladder, they all scatter to their respective duties. At this point she doesn't care, she will fire these assholes; she could really care less if she loses her crew today. She could find anyone to follow orders; if it weren't for Bryan she would be rehiring new people every week.
She moves to sit down on a cooler full of waters to rest her leg. "Not today…" she whispers to herself while rubbing harsh lines into her muscle. Raven takes a deep breath daring to look back out toward the water and regrets it immediately. O is staring right at her when she looks, even from a distance she can recognize her body, the way her curves merge into muscle. They stare at each other, both not able to break the virtual tug that they both seem to be stuck in. Her eyes widen as her breath hitches in her throat when she notices O start to walk in her direction. Shit Shit Shit… She whips her head around so fast her pony tail smacks her in the eye. Ah!
Ring Ring
She jumps at the sudden sensation vibrating down her leg while rubbing the burning in her eye. "What the fuck is going on today?!" she vents to the gods. But reprieve comes in short recognizing the ringtone; she quickly grabs her phone from her overall-shorts as it sang the Harry Potter Double Trouble.
Clarke.
She picks up and immediately retreats behind the only tent that is fully set up, hoping desperately O doesn't continue her trajectory.
"Clarke! Where are you?! When are getting here?!" Raven exclaims into the phone glancing around the tent's corner in hysterics. Her heart is beating erratically pumping nervous blood through her body. She can't control it, its not fucking fair.
"Whats going on?!" Clarke expresses her concern. Raven hasn't used code Mufasa since the day Clarke made it up years ago only to be used under complete duress. If Raven was in a situation or hurt and needed immediate evacuation, all she had to say was Code Mufasa and Clarke would be there.
She steps around the tent looking for O again but can't see her from where she is.
"Raven!"
"its O" her voice is low like if she speaks too loudly the girl would be summoned violently in front of her.
"Where are you!? I have to be at Santa Monica in an hour but I can meet you—"
"—That is where I am! And she's here; she's the surf coach for today Clarke. I volunteered to help set up for some idiotic reason and the universe is determined to shit on me. Like literally Clarke!"
Raven hears shuffling on the other end of the phone.
-
"Okay sit tight Ray, I'm on my way now!" Clarke hangs up and proceeds to fly through getting ready with way less time than she planned, the blonde throws on her sky blue bikini, tan Levi cut offs and grabs her white V-neck before bolting out of her room. She doesn't bother with make up as she throws her hair into a messy bun. Once she has her white Vans tied and her Ray Bans on her head she grabs her art bag, camera, and is out of the door and in her truck toward the beach in no time.
-
7:36 am
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Clarke Griffin
Griffindork
Artist- LA- Heda Co.
307 following 1, 913 followers
Ravengeful Your best friend can never stop being your best friend…They know too much
^ retweet Raven Reyes Ravengeful
Griffindork Thankful for this sappy siren [ .VID] #acoustic
Clarke Griffin Griffindork
RoyalViridian MCsquared working the wardrobe- To Wanda! #friedgreentomatoes
-
Lexa has been looking at Clarke's Twitter way more than she would ever admit to anyone and has noticed her follower count increase dramatically since their elevator conversation. She's been running on the treadmill for the last twenty minutes and has surpassed her three-mile goal for the morning. However, she can't get Clarke out of her head and is determined to make it five. Since she is one of her followers now, she can direct message her if she wanted to. Her phone has been lying over her script open to her account this whole time, tapping it when the screen would fade out. It's not a big deal, she should be brave enough to send her 'hey nice video' or 'fuck you too' but she convinces herself that Clarke wouldn't want that. That maybe she does hate her and is playing the game that Lexa obviously started and wanted. It doesn't matter because today is the day she has been looking forward to and maybe she can redeem herself.
"What would I say?" She whispers to herself.
"Maybe start with a Hello"
"WHAT the?!" Lexa stumbles on her treadmill careening her neck toward the open door. "Jesus! Gustus!" She throws a hand over her chest.
"Again, you should increase your security around the house, It took me less than a minute to find a weakness." He says calmly standing tall and wide in the doorway.
The brunette punches the emergency stop button, grabs her towel and wipes the sweat off her brow.
"What are you doing here?" She asks stepping off the treadmill and right over his safety analysis. She's never had a problem and he can break into any building no matter the security so it's not like his statement meant much. Gustus has been her bodyguard since she was little, having worked for her parents he took her in as his personal responsibility after they disappeared.
"The schedule has you at Santa Monica beach this morning. My team is required for any public event."
" I understand, but Trigeda has their own security and the beach is closed off. I'll be fine Gus" She knows Titus called him and has always been over protective since the incident in New York.
"You are our priority. My priority is your safety, there are things—You have a private detail for a reason." Gustus crosses his burly arms over his chest in finality.
Lexa turns to grab her phone and calls Titus on her way out of her work out room towards the shower. As soon as he picks up she speaks, " I thought we talked about this Titus, I don't need security until after production. It's not like last time, there is no crazy fandom here!"
"Lexa, It is a precaution and fandoms follow, the lines blur, and things get out of hand. There is never enough security and you have been picking up in popularity. I will not risk there being another New York."
"Most of them just wanted a picture or autograph Titus, I can handle—
"You can't! You have a hard time separating feelings from what's important! You risk everything by being vulnerable and open to whatever happens. All it takes is one Lexa! Gustus is there to help you so let him."
She stands in the middle of her bathroom looking in the mirror; she yanks down her shirt to reveal a scar. "I'm more than capable of separating feelings from my duty! Despite what happened in New York, I still make appearances, I sign autographs and I take pictures. And you know why? Without them I wouldn't be Lexa Woods. And maybe I belong to them Titus, I gave myself to them along time ago…" Her declaration started off strong but ended in a weak rebuttal. She loves her career but the fact that so many people wanted her was overwhelming. They don't know her, not really. They just liked the idea of Lexa Woods and she felt that they deserve to meet what they created. She can't lie though, lately she feels worn out by it all. Lost in the attention the last few roles have given her. Every day is a risk, they either loved her or hated her and she can't focus on that fact.
"I'm sorry that I've upset you but you can't let yourself be weak. Don't let yourself be in a compromising situation if you don't have to be. I've spent your whole life protecting you and Gustus feels the same way I do. We want you safe and if that means security detail pre-production until post-production then so be it."
Using the hand that isn't holding her cell phone, she rubs the pads of her finger over the scar just below her shoulder. She remembers the event very vividly almost in slow motion every time, even in her dreams.
"We won't let something like that happen again Lexa…" Titus assures her, almost like he knows what Lexa is thinking in the silence.
Lexa takes a deep breath exhaling into the receiver.
"You are special Lexa, one day you will know just how much but for now please let Gustus do his job."
"Yeah, okay." She relents.
"Remember what your parents used to say to you?" He asks in a low caring whisper.
A lump in her throat forms making it hard to breathe. Of course she remembers, that's part of the reason why she tries to meet all her fans and to do everything she can for them.
"Hod ste nou kwel…kw—" He tries.
"Oso Souda set raun ogeda. Hodnes ste nou kwelnes, hodnes ste uf" She corrects him. [We must stand together. Love is not weakness, Love is strength.]
"Yes that's it" She can hear him smiling through his words, "They loved you more than anything Lexa and they made me promise to look after you and protect you. Gus and I are your strength. Let me keep that promise, okay?"
"Sha, Titus"
"Alright good, well have fun today. You've always loved the beach so try to enjoy the day. I have to go, listen to Gustus."
The phone call ends leaving her feeling better about it but now she has to report back to Gustus before she does anything. She figured she would have at least until the end of production to have a margin of freedom. Lexa looks at herself in the mirror for a beat before turning on the shower to start the day.
-
7:49am
Clarke enters the Santa Monica parking lot that's now blocked off by Trigeda security, she flashes her ID to enter and proceeds to park in the closest spot she can find. It's still cool outside because the sun hasn't been up that long. They are set up at the Northeast side of the Pier. She sees two tents set up already with the third constructed and waiting on the tarp to be attached. The set is yards back from the rolling tide and positioned near the pedestrian walk way. A rollerblader glides passed with headphones in, head bopping to the music and it seems as if they left the walkway open for the public. However, there is a fence and security posting up along the tent line. She puts her I.D. lanyard around her neck and scans the area before getting out. She notices Raven sitting behind a tent with her legs up to her chest. Clarke then looks to the horizon and sees a lone surfer in the distance. Figuring it's O, she starts to get an uneasy feeling in her stomach. Not only did she leave Raven a mess, she didn't so much as leave a goodbye or a word to Clarke. It hurts her too to see this girl back in their lives. She thought she was one of her best friends and when it all happened she couldn't justify her feelings because she knew Raven was feeling them ten times worse. This was going to be a long day. Tension is already high and the day hasn't even begun.
"Raven! What's going on?" Clarke jogs toward her friend.
The brunette lifts her head at the sound of her name, "Oh thank fuck!" She gets up from the sand and wipes her ass off. "O is here! She isn't suppose to be here!"
"Hey hey, shh… It'll be fine. You don't have to talk to her today if you don't want to. It should be on your own terms." Clarke soothes her by putting her hands on Raven's shoulders. "If anything—I mean if you want, I will be your buffer. I will talk to her—
"No! Don't tell her I said anything Clarke!" Raven's eyes go wide and her breathing picks up. She steps beside Clarke to look around the tent toward the tide.
"She is out riding the waves, she isn't coming over here. Look I won't tell her anything about you, Listen… " Clarke pulls her over further behind the tent to get her to focus. "I will intervene if she approaches you or something but only if you want me to. Like… you can signal me if you need help."
"Like another Code Mufasa?" Raven's breathing slows.
"Yeah but this needs to be something a little less conspicuous then yelling 'Code Mufasa' in front of everyone. Plus that's only to be used in emergencies." She chuckles lowering her arms to her side.
"This is an emergency right?! I haven't moved from this spot since you called!"
Clarke nods her head, "I know and I'm here little Simba."
"Ugh, she was walking towards me like a stampede, so shut up! Niylah told me she would be here and then these baboons," her arms both point toward her crew putting the tarp over the third tent, " can't stop looking at her on the beach to work for once and I can't make my heart stop beat boxing in my chest." Raven kicks the sand as she speaks, " She has come into my life again and is trying to turn it upside down! Why?!"
"Ray… I don't think she is deliberately trying to do that. She is probably just as nervous as you are—
"Whose side are you on?!" Raven interrupts, " I don't give a shit if she is nervous or if her intentions are good! This is my job, my life!" She pounds on her chest at each statement, "It's not fucking fair! I did my time! I scraped myself empty to get rid of her inside me and now…" Raven slows her tirade and lowers her torso putting her hands on her knees to breathe. "Now, I feel like it's all compromised. That who I built myself up to be despite her is crashing down so quickly, why can't I help that?! Why can't I control how I feel?"
Clarke puts one hand on Raven's back, looks up at the clear sky and takes a deep breath. She doesn't know what to say because this kind of pain is hollow. No words or encouragement can fill that void. "Well… I think it's because it went unresolved. She left you in a wake of heartbreak and it festered jagged inside of you for so long. Now when things are shaking up it's puncturing everything you built around it. Perhaps…" She hesitates to see if Raven is receiving her or if she should go on.
"…Perhaps now you can find closure. This is facing the past, the demons we buried deep are coming out now and we promised we would face them. I'm here for you to stand by you if you need. You're not alone here…" Clarke bends down to look into her eyes, which she doesn't find because Raven is cinching them shut tightly.
"It'll be okay Ray…" she rubs her back," today will be fine, I'm here and she will be by the water preoccupied all day. If you don't want to talk to her today, you don't have to." She stands straight up, "Now, about that secret code call…" She grins hoping to entice a mood shift into acceptance.
Clarke continues to rub her back with one hand as the other plays at her chin in thought, "hmm can't be cuh-caw because everyone knows that's a thing. Um, can you sneeze three times in a row? My mom used to do that and I could hear it across the house every time."
Raven stands up abruptly deciding that Clarke is right, it will be on her terms and she has back up if she needs it. "I don't think sneezing obnoxiously will help my situation, can't I just text you or something?" She stretches her stiff anxious body.
"Ah duh, yeah that could work." She chortles, getting her phone out of her pocket, "I have an idea. I'll set your text tone to my Darth Vader ring tone. That way I'll know when to come skywalking in." Clarke smiles at her own wittiness.
Raven holds in a laugh but thinks that she is eternally grateful for having a friend like Clarke Griffin. "I knew I kept you for a reason."
-
8:10am
The third tent is finally prepped, chairs are positioned, electricity is pumping, equipment stationed and the rest of the film crew has arrived. Sunny skies kiss the sand warming it up to a cozy 80 degrees and the energy is pulsing. Trailers are parked in the reserved spots up front, one for Lexa Woods and the other for Costia Villeneuve. Trigeda crew trickle the area setting up for a long day of rehearsal. The rest of the cast is directed to take refuge under the R&R tent where there are bathrooms, a juice bar, food and much more. Royal Viridian is hosting two high profile actresses while the others are break through artists, surely to get their start to fame in the show. Finn wanted Lexa and Costia because he knew that they had chemistry to work with and publicity to boot. It wasn't lost on him that the events surrounding The Warmth of Color would influence interest in their pairing. But for the most part he wanted to grab the rest of the casting from a pool that is a tad underrated. He feels that it would give a genuine portrayal of the characters and offer a relatable cast for the underrepresented. It's been hyped up to be the most anticipated new show of the year and is solely geared toward the LGTBQA+ community. Today gives the crew and cast a glimpse into production and every one seems to be excited. Especially when you check the hashtag RVBeachRehearsal on Twitter!
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# RVBeachRehearsal
Finn Collins FCdirect RoyalViridian takes us to the beach, where we get to see some action! CostiaVillen LXwoods are here and queer! # RVBeachRehearsal
Monty Python MCsquared These clothes aren't only just for women FCdirect I think this will look great on you [ ] it's in your color! RoyalViridian # RVBeachRehearsal
Ontari Nation OntariNation BEACH DAY BITCHES! Can't wait to learn how to surf! RoyalViridian # RVBeachRehearsal
Jaspergers JasperJordan Can't wait for today's make-up rehearsal RoyalViridian with my new line TonDC It is waterproof and stays on all day! Tone Diva Chic is available online now! .com # RVBeachRehearsal
Echo Delemont EchoDelemont Putting my chap stick on early, pucker up babe! OntariNation RoyalViridian # RVBeachRehearsal
Anya Crewse AnCrew Lets hope we move to surfrider beach after these amateurs learn how to get it up! LXwoods OntariNation EchoDelemont FoxxSox CostiaVillen NateMiller MayaVie JohnMbege RoyalViridian # RVBeachRehearsal
Fox FoxxSox AnCrew Like you know what's up, bet I get it up faster than you! RoyalViridian # RVBeachRehearsal
Ontari Nation OntariNation AnCrew FoxxSox This bet is on like donkey's kong! Tuck your money in your bikini cause you all are going down! # RVBeachRehearsal #Rivalry #ladiesthatgodown
Maya Vie MayaVie I am so excited to be on RoyalViridian to represent trans everywhere! Beach day! #Transgender # RVBeachRehearsal
Costia Villeneuve CostiaVillen Getting ready for beach day! Send me requests today using #CostiaCameraRV and I will post a picture! XO # RVBeachRehearsal
Anya Crewse Ancrew FoxxSox OntariNation This day will be the day two girls go down at the same time. # RVBeachRehearsal
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Jasper and Monty are setting up shop in the smallest tent of the three but still large in size, salon stations line one wall while room dividers and racks of clothes fill the rest. Music and incense is the first noticeable thing when walking in because Jasper insists on setting the mood in any and all rooms he occupies. Monty relents to most things Jasper wants unbeknownst to him because of a desperate crush formed way before his own prowess. It has significantly shrunk into a manageable meal he eats down everyday but it's deep rooted nonetheless. But Monty seems to have crushes on almost everyone so Jasper pays little mind to the flirtatious nuance of Monty Green. He rolls his eyes at every python related joke made in reference to Monty's downstairs mix up and is contented in their friendship.
Jasper Jordan is the head of the make-up and hair department. The title is usually split into two key titles but Jasper being the control freak that he is can't handle inconsistencies. He is mastering them both so no one complains.
"Harper, can you start plugging things in and setting up each station how I like it before checking the ahenda." Jasper calls out to his stylist. He silences G's in certain words because he finds the 'gen' pronunciation of the letter too gauche for utterance. Some people think he just likes filling his own throat with his tongue but really he likes sounding somewhat international. Eccentric is a word heavily thrown in the air around him but he inhales it with pride and hugs his own unique aroma. If it isn't one thing it's another, always trying out new ways to be…well, Jasper.
The beach was filled with buzz now that everyone has arrived; the sand is hot against the soles of feet making a great excuse to run into the tide with a smile matching the sun's enthusiasm. It's beach day!
8:30am
After the tents are secure, Raven gets her beach gear out from the truck where she wedged her chair, umbrella and cooler. She brought her surfboard along to go out on the water too but now that O is here, she wasn't sure if she wants to get in. Which festers a little anger in her that's already hindering her in so many small ways. Her leg is acting up so she accepts the fact she won't be out there today. Looking forward to just relaxing she looks into the cooler to take inventory. In the cooler she has a few water bottles and sodas chilling on ice, except the bottles don't have water in them. It's vodka, gin, and some whiskey disguised as tea. Since she is technically on the job today, she doesn't want to take any chances that they wouldn't be allowed. Raven settles herself in front of the R&R tent down near the shore where the tide just comes up enough to where if she stretches out her feet could feel the water. She plants her umbrella behind her chair so the shade doesn't quite reach her yet, she wants to feel the burn of the sun for awhile, and then she takes her overalls off, her boots off, and strips down to her black bikini. The brunette looks around taking note of where every person is located. She sees Clarke talking to someone she doesn't know, probably a script director or something, she turns to her left where she finds O in the water with eight crew members wading in the water while she takes one on one toward the on coming waves. They aren't gnarly by any means but are still good to ride for technique. This is a good way to get them up on the boards with out getting too exhausted. Raven takes her high ponytail down letting her hair out to breathe. She keeps looking on while she adjusts it back up. She sees Jasper and Monty laughing outside of the beauty tent. Monty has some kind of Virginia Slim hanging off an Audrey Hepburn holder. He is so extra. She laughs lightly at how cute they are, her little gays. In the middle tent she sees crew techs setting up equipment with Bryan and her team. She gets along with Bryan well but when she's working its all about business. Bonding with her crew isn't high on her list of pertinence. But she likes Bryan, more than most people at Heda Productions but it's mainly because he puts up with all of her shit. With a deep exhale she shimmies into her chair, no worries today. She wants to relax and forget about her crew, forget about O, and forget about it all. Remembering her cooler is right beside her, she leans over and grabs a mini Coke and takes a few big gulps to make room for some whiskey. Raven brought the vodka for Clarke just incase she gets to relax a bit or is feeling a bit adventurous on the job. She usually wouldn't but she could tell lately the girl has been a little off. Clarke tends to ignore her own feelings to focus on everyone else's. She would wait until her opportunities have passed just so she knows for sure other people took theirs. Even if they were strangers she would take the time to care. It was selfless but Raven thought it was stupid. Self-preservation was always her number one principle and to see her best friend distance herself from her emotions every time they wiggled their way to the surface is disheartening. Raven gets the whole head over heart thing but if you don't take care of your heart your head would soon follow in its fate. It's one thing to protect your heart but another to prevent it. She is preaching to the choir but hey, do as I say not as I do, right?
8:30am
Lexa lets Gustus drive her to the beach with little resistance; she sits in the back seat with her elbow on the window's edge and her chin in her palm. She understands the precaution and she want's to be safe, it's just that it takes one more iota of her freedom away. She is already trapped in the framework of fame. One fact of being an actor that has dawned on Lexa early on is that she isn't her own person—well not entirely anymore. Part of her belongs to them. They take pieces of her, of her characters and they take it to a whole new level, whether it's fan fiction, art, or false wishes upon reality. It's overwhelming at times so she looks forward to her independence when she has it. The moments where she can be uninfluenced and see glimpses of her true self are the most cherished. Even though she knows a lot of the rumors about her life are untrue, it's easy to get lost in all the noise. And with this added security— this added precaution; she can't help but feel more restricted into this pseudo-role called her life. It's a small enough feeling to push back and still enjoy everything because she is thankful. She wouldn't change anything if she could. This is what she has always wanted, what her parents always wanted for her. The only thought right now that quells the simmering unease within her is a blue-eyed blonde haired girl. The moment her eyes dip into the blue she tastes a cool escape from the bitter heat of her exhaustive lifestyle. It's like a breath so pure it burns before it soothes. Lexa has been looking forward to this day, even if to breath easy for a moment.
She steps out of the armored vehicle clad in a forest green bikini, an open white button up made of cotton and dark denim cut offs. Over one of her shoulders she holds an old Jansport backpack that used to belong to her dad. It's worn on the corners and the green is faded quite a bit but she loved it.
She isn't sure how the day will play out but surfing is one of the things she is looking forward to. The lessons aren't necessary for her but re-learning something is not above Lexa. She welcomes it actually. Surfing is something she did a lot as a teen but hasn't had time since her career has picked up. So she can't wait to see how she will fair today. It used to calm her so much that she would spend the whole day out in the water with out realizing. Titus would be so furious sometimes that it would be worth it to just see the vein across his forehead pop out.
As Lexa rounds the car her RV assistant informs her of her trailer's location and that she has a shower and facilities of her own. She thanks her kindly and proceeds down the beach with Gustus right behind her. Her thoughts are already focused on someone else and her shadow is an afterthought. The sand sinks under her sandals and finds its way between her toes. It's a familiar feeling that usually brings her comfort but as of right now she feels a bubbling in her stomach. She's nervous. Her eyes scan the sand, slowing her walk, the girl on her mind is the only thing on her radar. It would be disappointing to say the least if she wasn't here. Just as she was about to give up her search, she spots her near the water with a camera around her neck. The blonde fits in the beach scene so well, her hair complimenting the sand as her eyes do the sky. Lexa's long legs stride absent mindedly ahead while her attention draws over Clarke's figure. Her eyes melt over the khaki shorts that hug her curves inviting cuteness underneath the allure. Mmm.
Clarke is taking pictures at random, or it just looks that way because she points it to the sky one second and then down close into the tide the next. Lexa's legs keep moving passed the R&R tent gaining ground toward the blonde when all she sudden she halts. She feels a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey!" a familiar voice breaks her from her trance. Glad for it too because she was headed straight for destruction.
"Uh, Hi Anya" She flashes a smile at her, quickly glancing at Clarke once more before letting Anya lead her astray.
"So before we head out to Lincoln for warm up, Lets—" She pauses mid sentence noticing a very large man in a solid black suite dredging behind her. "Lexa…" She whispers, "There is a very large City of Angels man following you…Like if Nicholas Cage ate another Nicholas Cage, and that Nicolas Cage grew up with gorillas, that would be him…" Just as she was about to call him out to stop following so close, Lexa laughs.
"hahaha, Anya, that's just Gustus, Chil au. He's my PG." She waves her hand behind her like it's nothing. Anya nods putting an arm around her but offers one last glance behind them before she continues. Gustus slows his walk allowing them to wander a bit ahead almost like he was commanded.
"So as I was saying… lets make a game plan!"
Lexa pulls away from her arm, its too hot outside already and she's uncomfortable with the glint in Anya's eye. She doesn't like when people touch her that much let alone trap her under their arm. "A what?" she asks while politely shrugging her off.
"A game plan Lexa!" she nudges her with her elbow and tilts her head down the beach.
She was getting used to Anya's personality, slowly, but she likes her outgoing nature. Maybe it will help her get out of this carousel of routine she has going on. So she careens her neck in tandem to Anya's gaze.
"I know you really like her," she comments.
Lexa doesn't realize she is smiling until she jerks her head in reaction, "I—"
"So here is the plan my stan," she cuts her off and Lexa scoffs under her breath, "You need to try a different approach. Like all these run-ins and bam slams aren't going to get the girl. Obviously chemistry is there but—"
Anya rants on as Lexa turns her head to watch Clarke walk further down the beach toward a table full of lenses and supplies. They do have chemistry but it's not as easy as having a plan. This girl is different; she makes her feel different. It's almost uncontrollable and perhaps that's her fault, trying too hard to control it. The last thing Clarke said to her was 'fuck you'. Maybe she deserved it, but it didn't seem harsh or definitive. But it's not exactly something that encourages further advances and the more Lexa listens to Anya's game plan she can't help but feel nauseous. She should focus on training and the show right now instead of this girl that burns her from the inside out. More afraid of the idea of her than the actual girl herself, she bites her bottom lip in anxious abandon. She changed her mind, no worries; today will just be about work. All she has to go on are the strange encounters they've had. Which she herself can't really explain; why can't they just talk like normal people?
"—So I think that we can do like an inception type thing where you are Cobb and she is totally Mal. And you would plant this idea in her head, like a seed, and that's what we will do today. So then all we—well you," She nudges into Lexa and continues with exaggerated hand gestures," all you would have to do is water it every other day. And soon enough you will have a plant growing inside her to where you can pick the fruit without asking, well you'd want to ask because that's just polite but it would technically be your fruit since you planted the damn thing and she won't be able to get you off her mind…"
At this point Lexa isn't really following because it sounds awfully a lot like getting her pregnant and also the story of inception didn't end very well for the couple in the movie, so she decides to interject, "Anya"
"…Because once that person thinks that they came up with the idea that was really yours to begin with, they will believe in it so much more…"
Anya isn't looking at her because she has inceptioned her own damn mind with her seed of an idea and can't shut up because it was like she was watering her own seed in her head that wouldn't stop growing and its all spiraling into a paradox of bad metaphors and weird gesturing.
"Anya!" Lexa tries again but this time she reaches out to lightly punch her.
"Lexa! I know you don't date much but come on, when does a connection like this come along in life?" She says exasperated, punching Lexa back twice as hard.
"Ow…" The brunette rubs her arm while truly contemplating her question. She looks toward Clarke down the beach. Not often at all… if ever because this connection is weird. It's like her blood heats up when she is around her making her skin lurch forward like it found the source of energy it needs. Lexa thinks she should be afraid of such a force but she isn't. Something about it comforts her beyond that of which she has ever felt.
-
When Clarke sees Lexa dressed in beach gear her eyes automatically veer down to her golden limbs. Her camera sits inches away from her face masking her indulgence. She has yet to see Lexa with this much skin exposed and boy did it send pulses down her torso into her—ahh no, this is not happening. She pushes her legs together to stop the tiny heartbeat. It's not fair to feel these things without control, how can one's feelings be so involuntary. But one thing Clarke Griffin is sure of, is that she is stubborn and in control of her mind. Her heart has betrayed her once or twice before but her mind has always been on her side. Focus on work today and be there for Raven. She scolds her heart while she wills her legs to point away from the infuriating distraction.
She continues taking pictures of the beach for later reference. Sketching landscapes is one of her favorite things so the fact that they are outdoors right now helps her focus even more on her surroundings. Photography has always been a close second to painting and drawing because she enjoys capturing moments in time with the click of a button. Clarke is really good at it but her preferred creative outlet is more hands-on. She notices Lexa and Anya talking a bit down the shore and she decides to sneak a few candid shots of them, you know… for reference. As she adjusts the aperture and zooms in a bit she looks back through the lens and captures a few more before she notices Lexa look her way, Click.
Feeling the heat lift from her core to her cheeks, she turns quickly to focus on Finn talking out loud a few yards away. He's talking mostly to his camera director but she is supposed to be listening, taking mental notes of camera angles and shots they agree on. But she figures that the pictures she is taking will help her out so she doesn't feel too bad for zoning. The beach wind hits her face. She feels tiny bits of sand whip along with it causing her to close her eyes. It's one of her favorite things to stand on a beach with her bare toes tugging at sand, cool salty air hitting her face, and the promise the vastness of the ocean seems to give off. There is so much more out there and there are things bigger than her that put her problems into perspective. Everything is temporary. Clarke misses the feeling of assurance that she gives herself. Ever since meeting Lexa she is unsure about everything, her thoughts are clouded and full of confused feelings. Her heart pushes and pulls against itself joisting against her tolerant logic. It's disconcerting for her to feel out of control, it scares her and all she wants is to go back to the way it was. She picks up her sketch pad to capture some of what Finn was saying when she is jolted out of her thoughts feeling a sand grained arm reach over her sketchpad.
"I found this and thought you might like it" Lexa delivers a small smile while looking at her in the eye. Her voice is lost on her because this girl is gorgeous. Her green eyes stand out way more out here in the daylight. Clarke can't help but look down at her lips but before she could say anything, Lexa is running off. Clarke's eyes follow her as she meets Anya down the way and then they take off in a light jog giggling, passed Raven, and towards the rest of the cast where they are preparing to work out and practice getting up on their boards. She sees a very muscular guy talking enthusiastically to a few that are gathered around him while the others make their way onto the yoga mats he provided. And then she sees O walking out of the ocean to join them.
Clarke hasn't noticed what Lexa has given her yet. Frankly, she is a little taken aback from the whole ordeal. She doesn't even notice the creeping smile that emerges onto her face but Finn does. He saw the whole interaction. He sends his director back to the tents and observes Clarke's blush radiate down to her neck. He continues to watch her as she looks down to find a sand dollar resting on the sketchpad. She picks it up and brushes her thumb over the floral looking design wiping off a few pieces of sand. It's not a complete sand dollar, it has a chip in it but it's nostalgic for her. Why did she think I would like this… She touches it fondly remembering her dad teaching her how to find them in the muddy sand. The comfort in it brings her joy at first but then an empty concern perches on her heart. She doesn't understand why Lexa and her dad keep paralleling. Wincing at the burning feeling in her chest, she puts the sand dollar in her pocket and looks up to meet brown eyes staring at her.
"Oh. I'm sorry, I've been listening…" She offers half-heartedly because she knows she hasn't. Clarke's been distracted all day thinking about Raven facing her past and of her feelings she wishes would go away. How can O just show up out of nowhere and then Lexa worm her way into the book of Clarke's mind? It's nothing short of two universes converging into her current reality, only to look out one day and find it's all so different. It is all upside down.
Finn smirks at her distant gaze but doesn't say anything, "So I was just saying we could shoot a few scenes from there—" He points near a life guard house, "— and then when Alycia anchors her boat out there to night swim we will have a few vantage points from her boat, under water and then here. Can you draw up some night shots of her boat lit up and of her diving under water with a glow light? Read through the part where she clears her mind by night swimming and sketch whatever comes to mind. I get great shot ideas from your sketches Clarke."
"Of course." Clarke replies looking toward the ocean and subconsciously turning her head toward the cast working out. She can't for the life of her focus.
"Alrighty, I'm going to go talk to Monty and Jas. I'd like to you to take a lot of pictures today and we can go through them later to post on the website." He tells her with a smile. Finn walks by her cupping his hand against her shoulder a few quick times before setting foot toward the furthest tent. She just nods at him still caught up in herself. Right, Get to work. She nods.
-
9:00am
Anya and Lexa slow down once they reach the rest of the cast about to warm up.
"I can't believe I did that!" Lexa says a little out of breath but not because of physical exertion. "You don't think it was a little…" The brunette rubs the back of her neck, "I don't know…lame?"
Anya shakes her head, "No stupid, I think it was sweet and how else are you going to show her you care for her as a person and not a piece of ass!" she says with a laugh.
Lexa furrows her eyebrows, "I never thought of her as a piece of ass…" she says a little dejected hoping that she hasn't come across that way to Clarke, even though she is sure she has. Ugh. She turns to look back toward Clarke only to find her looking in their direction. She quickly turns back around with burning cheeks.
"Then phase one is complete, the seed has been planted! So now we can start on phase two!"
Lexa groans and is about to protest before she is interrupted.
"All right! For those of you who aren't on a regimen with me, my name is Lincoln. I will be your nutrition guide and trainer during production. Before the heat of the day begins I would like to get all of you warmed up and ready for the day. For those who are participating in the surf lesson, this is for you to warm up your muscles so you don't pull anything in the water. And then after I'm done, Octavia here will show you how to get up on your boards."
Lincoln leads them into a series of exercises and stretches. A black hat covers his baldhead with Royal Viridian stitched across the front covering his sharp angled brow. Most of the sunrays absorb into his dark skin, leaving sheen that highlight his muscular physique. His tall stature hovers in front of ten actors, four of which he has been seeing for a month. The show wants a certain body image—I mean it is Las Angeles. Lexa and Anya are the most in shape but need more muscle; Costia and Echo are thin but need tonality. There is always room for improvement and to ensure they stay fit for the show, Lincoln is hired on as their dietitian. He's been a trainer for years but since he graduated with a dietetic nutrition degree he became much more. Octavia helped him get into the industry and since then he's been the go-to-guy for fit celebs.
Once Octavia is satisfied with their land technique on the boards, rash guards are handed out to each cast member save for Lexa and Anya who have their own. Excitement resonates between them to get in the water; the waves are big enough to catch but small enough to thwart any real threat of injury. Octavia starts with those who haven't surfed before while Anya and Lexa catch wave after wave. Anya is pretty good and keeps up with Lexa without much effort. Octavia watches them for a bit while the others struggle and is glad she doesn't have to teach them much at all. More like, she can let them be while focusing on Costia, Maya, Fox and Nathan. Echo and Ontari are experienced but need a few guiding pointers to get up consecutively. It wasn't as bad as Octavia was expecting, they all do well except for Costia. She acts more like a damsel than someone eager to learn.
"I still can't really get up right, I guess…can you show me again?" Costia requests from in the water her arms stretched over her soft board. Octavia is patient but she can't help but think Costia is doing this on purpose. Some girls do that thing where they ask for help in order to create a bond, where the suitor would feel accomplished for being needed and useful. This kind of flirtation is a bit elementary but it works for some people.
Octavia sits on her board beyond the break far out from shore a meter from Costia. Echo and Ontari are near shore having rode a wave in while Lexa and Anya are riding further down the beach with a few tricks thrown in.
"Yeah sure Costia, try to get up and stand on your surfboard as soon as the wave catches you. If you leave it too long, when you decide to stand up, you will probably only get to your knees or nose dive. Get up as soon as possible and start off by crouching low. So, watch me okay?" She gives direction before paddling forward to catch a small wave.
She executes it perfectly before paddling back to Costia.
"You make it look so good" she straddles her board and leans forward on the palms of her hands. Her arms allow a small window for her breasts to peek through inconspicuously. It doesn't go unnoticed by Octavia but she keeps her stoicism with ease.
She coaches on, "It takes practice Costia, we just need to get you up a few times for this next episode and progress from there just like your character would. Finn wants it to be a genuine progression, so try one more time and we will call it a day."
-
After sticking with the group for a bit of the lesson, Lexa and Anya ventured further down to do their own thing. Clarke has been acutely aware of Lexa's whereabouts through out the morning. When they split from the group to surf closer to where she's been taking behind the scenes photos, she tried really hard to not point her camera their way. But resistance is futile. She looks through her lens just as Lexa catches a wave, "Wow" she whispers with out realizing. Clarke takes quick consecutive captures, catching her in an aerial before lowering her camera to look at how they turned out. The digital screen is hard to see in the light, so she cups her hand around it to see if her settings accommodated the beauty before her. And it had, she took in her bottom lip as she flipped through each photo. By the time she was done skimming through the fifteen she took of just Lexa, her lip is a solid red. She looks back up towards the brunette in the water and the sun has full vantage point on her skin. Clarke raises her camera up again and zooms in to capture the way the water glistens off her face. Anya isn't as fluid as Lexa on the waves but she has skill too. She takes a few shots of her carving a wave before turning her lens back toward Lexa. Her large lens allows her to zoom in fairly close to her face, getting the color of her eye and the white of her teeth. Clarke thinks that if she were in charge of a surf magazine, she would definitely choose Lexa as the cover. It's uncanny how natural she looks out there, bronze skin, eyes like the earth's lush and her smile that mimics a perfect beach break. Maybe Raven was right. She lowers her camera to view her with a naked eye as she thinks about her tendencies. Pushing people away is easier than discovering that they weren't worth the time after all. Even as a friendship Clarke finds it hard to enjoy most people. She never needed the company of others to feel valid but it doesn't mean she didn't desire good company. It's just that many people she encounters have damaged character, absent principles and little to no drive in life. She limited those spaces close to her for those that made her better. And now, as she stares off into the distance like her eyes were trained to find her, she wants to be better. She isn't sure in what sense but thinking about the girl, seeing her and being near her has turned this stagnant tide within her into a roaring roll of a sea. Maybe Raven is right.
-
"I think that our plan is working." Anya comments straddling her board. Lexa paddles near her to relax just the same.
"What do you mean?"
"Clarke's been looking over here for the last fifteen minutes and I am pretty sure she took a lot of photos" she chuckles.
The brunette steadies herself on her board and wipes her hair out from her face before she turns toward the beach. Clarke is in fact, looking toward them. There is no one else near the area and it doesn't even faze her that they have caught her in the act. Lexa's lips turn up from one corner as she looks onward.
"The seed has indeed been planted" Anya says maniacally, wringing her fingers together as if she is a master villain. "Muahahaha" she boasts rising her clawed hands to the sky.
Lexa rolls her eyes at her friend's antics; "Seriously?" she can't help but snigger at her. She scoops up some water splashing Anya in the face to subdue her insanity but she quickly turns her attention back to Clarke who is still standing like she is in a daze.
"You should ride a wave in and talk to her!"
"And what would I say? 'Hi I saw you staring at me, wassup'" She spouts incredulously.
"Whatever, just start building on it. You don't have to say anything but hello and I'm sure she will swoon. Don't be a limp noodle Lexa…honestly, if you don't go then I will. She is damn sexy!" Anya begins to paddle slowly forward to grab a wave but Lexa is quick to act, like if she doesn't her friend just might ruin her chances. "Like hell you will!" Lexa yells over her shoulder as she catches the next wave.
Clarke doesn't notice Lexa approaching until she is already walking up with her board under her arm. She was definitely too far in her head but she sees her now. Shit, uhh. Clarke fidgets as the gap is closing, her hands find her camera and suddenly it's the most interesting thing on the planet. Her feet take tentative steps backwards as if she is absent-mindedly doddling—absolutely. She's just taking pictures. She adjusts her camera before she raises it up to her face away from Lexa like she doesn't even notice her.
Lexa is a few feet away from the blonde but she has yet to acknowledge her so she slows down. Maybe this is a bad idea. She unstraps her leash from her ankle and rests her board in the sand sticking it straight up. Unsure of herself she shifts on her feet.
Clarke feels her close by, like an undercurrent of heat that undermines the sun. Her mouth runs dry as she takes a few shots of Octavia and Costia still in the water far in the distance. She can't ignore her presence—that would be rude, so she lowers her camera to view the shots she just took while turning away from the sun. This puts her front facing Lexa who happens to be taking off her rash guard now. Fuck me…damnit. She curses under her breath as she watched on. She can't help it; her eyes will not adjust themselves, they refuse to blink even at the sight in front of her. Lexa's stomach is toned and clenches the droplets of water into the underlying abdominals as she breathes. She is sharp in some areas and completely supple in others. I mean who has all that muscle while still being slender and at the same time sport such curvaceous-ness that even the dunes of the Sahara would have envy.
The surfer feels blue eyes on her but she doesn't want to scare her away. She does have a tendency to run. So she pretends to not notice right away. Lexa slings her wet clothing over her board and then slowly turns her attention, "Get anything good?"
She feels that this would be safe question to ask because she is taking pictures and at the same time it sounds safely flirtatious. Safe. Lexa gives herself internal kudos.
The photographer pauses in her feeble attempt to scan through her photos, she had to answer. They are the only two on this side of the beach. Her throat is dry but she can speak. She can. Clarke's mind struggles to find a verbal response so she just nods. Damnit, what are you mute?! She scolds herself for being this way. Just talk to her!
"I actually got some really good shots of you surfing. You are quite good." There, that wasn't so hard.
Lexa smiles at the compliment, perhaps too wide because she looks like a giddy fool.
"Thank you, Clarke… May I see?" she quickly recovers by gathering her wet hair over her right shoulder so it wouldn't drip on the blonde if she let get close. While waiting for a response, her eyebrows nit together as her hands recede to behind her back in a submissive pose. She hopes that her presence is welcome.
"Sure" Clarke says. Then she realizes that they have to get really close in order for her to see the photos she took. Lexa slowly steps closer to her. The camera strap is around her neck and Lexa is wet so she can't just hand over the camera for her to see herself. It's too late anyway; Lexa is already by her side like the first day they met peering over her shoulder. Her wet thighs touch the backside of Clarke's shorts and her arm ever so slightly brushes the back of hers, sharing the cool water dew. It feels really good in contrast to her heat.
"Um…" Clarke starts to click left to find her favorite shots she got her. "Let me find my fav—the best ones…" She bites her lip at the almost admission. She is sure Lexa heard her but the surfer just hums in understanding. The smell of the girl behind her is really distracting. It definitely has a beach water tinge but that musk still permeates through. Her finger pauses on the button trying to focus. Clarke's legs inch closer together, "You're distracting me," barely whispers. Um, shit. "I mean, I think you're getting me all wet" She steps forward to look at her shorts before realizing how bad that sounded. "Shit, I mean you're dripping still and I think..." Clarke wipes across her leg but has completely turned red by the way Lexa is looking at her. Her khaki shorts are a few shades darker over her right butt cheek but her eyes are wincing up toward Lexa's expression.
Clarke sees her plump lips grow thin as she tries desperately to suppress a laugh. Her eyes smile at the blonde's obvious struggle to say a decent sentence. Too cute and too much to hold in any longer, Lexa busts into a light fit of laughter that causes Clarke to freeze in place. Her laugh is adorable and rambunctious at the same time. The sound alone makes her tingle inside, so much so that she can't help but smile and laugh a little herself.
"Shut up, ass!" she breathes shoving Lexa's shoulder with little success in off setting her amusement.
With the ice officially broken they both laugh at each other for a beat before they exchange small sighs. The sun has been doing more of its fair share of duties today by illustriously highlighting already glorious features of these two women. Lexa admires Clarke in the silence that now resides between them. It isn't uncomfortable though. Her eyes are so blue sitting beside her rosy cheeks. "Clarke…" she reaches out with a whisper but swallows it as her lips barely move. She doesn't know what she wanted to say it but the energy she feels in this moment is immeasurable. Lexa wonders if she feels it too.
Clarke feels something but she isn't sure what it is. It's a charge in her bones, a flutter of muscle, and . Time seems to stretch the seconds into minutes. Feeling her bones begin to rattle she fears Lexa can hear them. She hums to calm herself down because she starts to doubt the structure of her own skeleton. The once broken ice seems to be melding back into solid from Clarke's rigidity. Not sure of what to do, she clears her throat, grasps her camera, and once again attempts to find the best photos of the surfer. "Still want to check yourself out?" She recovers. Clarke turns her back to lean into Lexa's front.
"Only if you do," Lexa says softly as her nose takes in her scent. Being this close is always surreal. Like she never has enough time in the space before it's gone.
At that Clarke turns to look at Lexa's face, inches from her own. I do. She wants to say but she doesn't so she just bites her lip and hums again. She watches Lexa's eyes wander down to her lips. The space in between them turns from inches to centimeters before she realizes where they are. Clarke turns her attention back to her camera and continues her mission. This girl… god.
"I think this one is the best one" she steadies her wavering voice.
The brunette leans closer to Clarke as the blonde cups the screen to limit the light. Lexa moves to cup her hand over the screen adjacent to hers so she can see the picture better. The picture is of her in an aerial with the spray of the wave framing underneath her. The quality is great; she can see the crispness of the wave and the concentration on her face. It's a really great picture actually. She brushes her fingers over Clarke's while she studies the image. The blonde doesn't move her hand so neither does Lexa. Their bodies sink further into one another subconsciously to where Lexa is practically holding the camera around Clarke; all she would have to do it bring her left arm around. But again, she doesn't want her to run so she leaves it open.
"Can I see more?" she asks without looking up from the screen in a soft voice as to not startle the moment into a fleeting one.
"Sure" Clarke takes a shallow breath before clicking to the next photo, which is Lexa landing the aerial. Then to the next one where Anya is paddling onto a wave, then one where she rides the wave. She hesitantly clicks to the next one because she knows it's a close up of Lexa. Before she can click to the next one Lexa brings her left hand between their bodies to stop her. She didn't want to use her right hand because it's so delicately placed over Clarke's at the moment and she doesn't dare move it. It feels too good. She stares at the photo, the lighting is perfect and she genuinely looks happy. The hand that has stopped Clarke from clicking over is resting on top so now both of their hands are touching. The Camera supported only by the strap around her neck as it lay perched on top her breasts along with their hands. Lexa slowly looks up from the screen to Clarke's heaving chest. She is breathing harder now that she has been exposed. Well at least she feels that way. Clarke can hide under the guise of taking photos for Royal Viridian but the focus in which these photos are taken reveal a little more than what she wishes to show. Still touching, Lexa's eyes seek upward to her neck that is straining to keep up with her breaths, her eyes skip to her lips from the movement of them parting to accommodate, then to her nose sitting sharply poignant, and finally to her eyes. Her eyes are hooded and beryl staring back into hers.
Lexa licks her lips and says one word, "Beautiful." It comes out at a whisper but they're close enough that Clarke hears her loud and clear. She isn't sure if she is talking about the photo or her but she finds herself strongly hoping for the latter because the way she is looking at her right now is like lightening finding ground. Like she is what garners the light, not willing to look away in fear that the dark would consume her. It takes very wet arms slung over both girls to draw them out of the storm.
"What are we looking at?!" An over zealous Anya asks. She noticed their proximity and decided that it was time for phase 2.
"Anya!" Lexa defends, shoving her off from behind them. She delivers an icy glare to her rude interrupting friend.
"I'm sure you two could use some cooling off!" she laughs. "It's just water!"
"She was just showing me some great photos, take a look at the ones she took of you." Lexa tries to distract her embarrassing friend with her vanity so she doesn't try to any more ludicrous phases.
Clarke smiles and obliges by clicking back to the shots she got of the dirty blonde surfer. She tucks a few strands of loose hair behind her ear as she pulls the camera as far as it can go with being strapped to her neck toward Anya who is wedging her way in between them. Anya bends down to see it in front of Lexa who steals a glance to the blonde wishing they were by themselves again. Clarke meets her gaze momentarily before she snaps her attention to what Anya is viewing.
"Dang, I actually look like a surfer! Good shots Clarke!" Anya pats her on the shoulder. "Got any of Lexa? She had a few gnarly tricks out there."
"Um, yeah." She clicks over to her favorite ones.
"Shit yeah! Can you send us these?!"
"Uh, sure. Yeah, I'll be posting these behind the scenes photos on the RV website. Finn wants me to document everything. But I can email the ones of you guys to your email." Clarke suggests.
"Yeah for sure, send them to Lexa's email. Do you have your phone on you?"
Clarke takes her phone out of her front pocket, "yeah?"
"Great!" Anya confidently snatches the phone from Clarke's hands, "I'll just put her information in here so you can send them our way. Oh, what's your passcode?"
Lexa is standing a bit behind Anya watching all of this happen. She stares at Anya like she is butt fucking crazy. Clarke doesn't seem to mind at all taking her phone back from Anya to enter her passcode in before handing it back to her.
"Cool" Anya proceeds to enter Lexa's email, phone number, address and every detailed information the iPhone would let her. She sends Lexa a text from Clarke's phone and deletes the conversation before handing it back to the blonde. "Done, it's saved under Lexacoon. Don't forget because I want those photos!"
"Sure" Clarke replies looking at her new added contact in her phone.
"Thanks Clarke! We got to go work out with Lincoln before we hit the showers." She drags Lexa away to her board, grabs her own board, and guides her back down the beach to their work out mats. "Bye!"
Lexa struggles against the ever persistent Anya and manages to mouth a goodbye with a small wave, in which Clarke returns.
"Anya, what the hell was that about?" Lexa asks a bit annoyed once they are out of earshot.
"Relax! Now you have her number and she has yours. Phase 2, remember?" Anya pushes her by the side of her face.
"Ah, Stop that! You are like the sister I never wanted," Lexa complains, wiping her face with angst. "Wait, how do I have her number?"
"I texted you from her phone."
Lexa pauses her stride before skipping to catch up, "What?! She will see that you did that you know?"
Anya scoffs like she isn't an amateur, "Not if I deleted the conversation before handing it back to her!"
Lexa shakes her head but feels a smile creep onto her face. Anya was brash and bold but she was a smart cookie. Now Clarke has her number and she has hers. It's not like she will use it but it sure feels good to have the option to if she were ever brave enough. What would she say? Eeek! How exciting! These phases aren't so ludicrous after all.
"Aw look at you! Blushing and being all shy girl…"
Lexa immediately straightens her body and stiffens her face, "Whatever." She mutters behind the smile that won't fucking go away.
-
12:30pm
The day proceeds with O successfully getting each person on a few waves while Lincoln stands by to cool down the team. He scheduled a work out for Lexa, Anya and Echo after their surf so they wouldn't miss out on their regimen. The work out is tough but they are used to it by now. They have about an hour before they are due in the beauty tent so they mingle a bit before they have to take a shower.
Anya stands upwind talking to Maya, Nathan and Echo when she notices a brunette girl sitting uncomfortably in her chair looking very intently down wind. She looks up to see Octavia and Lincoln laughing yards away then looks back down to the girl. It's obvious that they are bothering her so Anya does the only thing that she can think of to help her. Bending down she picks up a hand full of sand, stands on her tiptoes and throws the sand into the wind. The sand flies over Raven's head, who is still very obviously glaring, and into the faces of the brunette's contention.
"Ahh!" Octavia turns, yielding their laughter as she bends over to shield her eyes with the back of her hand. The sand hits Lincoln just the same as he takes a few steps away trying to avoid anymore that could hinder his vision. They end up separating with Octavia stepping toward the R&R tent for a rinse.
Raven burrows her eyebrows in confusion; she didn't feel any sand hit her so she turns to look around. She finds a gorgeous blonde looking at her with a smile; they stare into each other's eyes for a beat before the mystery girl winks and turns back to pay attention to her previous conversation. She finds herself smiling at whatever that just was. Did she throw sand? Perhaps she did but why would she do that? Raven lowers her sunglasses to see her wearing a maroon bikini with black Levi jean shorts. She unconsciously bites her lip as she looks from her ombre like hair flowing in the wind down to her shoulder blades that stick out with the perfect amount of aggression, down to her long legs that flex right before her eyes. She notices how the muscles fight each other for dominance, how they look turning in their place and how they look walking towards her.
"Shit" she mutters to herself as she realizes that Anya was walking over to her. She releases her lip she didn't realize she was holding in her mouth.
"Hey" Anya offers a soft greeting with a grin.
"H—hi, whats up?" Raven straightens up in her chair causing it to creak. Her hands suddenly acutely aware of their existence as she fumbles to grab a drink or something, anything! She finds her whiskey Coke and takes a few huge gulps.
"What're you drinking?"
"Um, Coke…" she lifts the bottle to show the label like it's just what the label says it is.
"May I have some?" Anya can smell more than just Coke on the brunette's breath and it only makes her move closer.
"Uh…" Raven looks at the bottle and then back up to a chiseled cheek bones and a smirk. "Sure but be careful of the carbonation, it could be a little strong." She remarks gaining a tad bit of composure. If she knew any better this girl was flirting with her because she knows for a fact that there are plenty of cold drinks and food in the R&R tent right behind her but yet she came to ask for the one drink that she is putting her lips on. Let alone, the whole sand thing, Raven knew when a girl was hitting on her.
Anya slowly takes the Coke bottle from her while observing the thoughts flit across the brunette's face. The expressions that Anya can see roll around in her eyes make her smile. Taking the bottle from her lithe fingers she brings it up to her nose and smells it.
"Smells super carbonated." She jests with a full smile now adorning her face. She tilts it back taking a huge gulp with out reservation.
Raven swallows heavily at the sight of Anya's bobbing throat and the idea of warm whiskey coating its insides. She shakes her head at the indulgent thought because she would be looking back at her again soon and she really needs to focus keeping her mouth closed.
"Y—you can go ahead and polish it off if you want, I have more." Raven offers.
Anya smiles again, deciding to sit down next to her on the sand, and tilts the bottle back finishing the rest of the whiskey and Coke. She hands Raven the empty bottle while wiping the back of her hand over her mouth. The brunette takes the bottle from her with a smile in return and turns around to dig out another Coke. She puts the empty one in between her legs opening the fresh Coke to split it between the two. After spilling a little bit on her thigh she moves on to grab the water bottle with the whiskey in it to fill both Coke bottles until they are full again. The water bottle full of whiskey is almost empty so she decides to finish it straight, taking a swig she clicks her tongue and passes it off down to Anya who is a few heads shorter than her being on the ground. Anya takes it without a word and takes the rest in one gulp.
"Guhh, that isn't as smooth as I thought it was going to be." Anya winces, handing the water bottle forcibly back hitting Raven's shoulder with it.
"Anya!"
Her face perks up at the sound of her name. Lexa is calling down the beach waving her hand for her to come over.
"Well that's me. I better go see what she wants. But before I go, what's your name?" She asks before standing up.
"Raven"
She inwardly berates herself for being so uncool around this girl. It's uncharacteristic of her usual confidence.
"Thanks for the carbonation Raven. See you around."
She uses the armrest of Raven's chair to help herself get up jutting her chest out for Raven to see. After assuring that she has Raven's attention, she turns her body to dust the sand off her ass. Grinning because the day had something to offer her as well as Lexa, she runs off to where Lexa is waiting.
"Hey who was that?" Lexa asks eyeing her friend's glinting smile.
"I don't know really, but her name is Raven." Anya replies trying to hide the inching smile on her face. "What's up?"
Lexa smiles taking one more last look over her shoulder toward the girl that has managed to Anya's complexion rose. She wants to tease her and meddle just like she has in her situation but she decides to wait.
"Uhh, I want to go back out and surf, the wind has picked up and Echo wants to see how it's done." She nudges her shoulder into Anya's, "you in?"
-
Finn makes his way to the beauty tent, mind in deep thought. He is thinking about natural development and capturing the growth of reality on camera. Finn wants this show to be so real and raw that the audience blurs the lines of script and reality. It's up to the actors to feel the part but he ultimately has to create an environment for that to bloom, for it to nourish into something beautiful and something worth watching.
Walking into the tent, he requests Monty's attention. "Hey Mo, What do you think about bringing someone onto the show that wasn't in the plan? Like imagine this, a love that is blooming behind the scenes exposed… tension and ignorant reciprocation fueled on camera to catch it when it ignites…"
Monty watches Finn go off into his own head, never giving eye contact, he looks into the distance in deep thought. Putting ensembles together on the hanger Monty responds, "I think if you can capture the actors feel something real and instigate that it would make for really good television. I mean anything that stems from truth will always be delivered in a way that captivates. What are you thinking of doing?"
Finn nods while mindlessly sifting through the outfits on the rack, "I think I have the beginnings of something brilliant looming around and when this pilot is picked up by a network, hopefully not the CW, I will work on weaving it in the script. The writers are working on episode three right now so perhaps I will talk to them about it soon."
Lifting one of Alycia's outfits in the air to inspect, hanger adorned with white shorts, denim ripped sleeve button up, and maroon bikini.
"What do you think of Lexa Woods?" He asks casually.
"Honey, what do you mean?" Monty turns with his full attention.
Finn puts the outfit back on the rack to pick up another, "I mean what do you think of her in general, just give me what you've gathered. I know you judge people as a hobby in that overly active mind of yours."
"Esqueeze me?" He puts his hand over his chest delicately, "I do not judge people; I observe and take note for later use. They can be as they be, all I do is notice their flaws before fixing them in my mind to make them better than they are." He snickers behind his hand that is ornamented with jewelry.
Hearing the conversation from across the tent, Jasper finished hair spraying his pompadour and walks over to his friends, "Don't lie Montague, you share your thoughts like privileged candy. But I eat it up, so spill. What are we talking about?"
"Lexa Woods." The costume designer answers.
"Ugh, She is gorgeous and her hair. Oh! It is stunning. I cannot wait to put my fingers in it," he gushes.
"Jas-fingers, calm yourself please. I mean, you act like those things haven't touched anything better." Monty tussles his hair with splayed fingers looking into Jasper's eyes with flirtation. Today his hair is wild and free from the restriction of gel, parted to the side outlining his brow with a gracious swoop.
Finn laughs, "Enough finger foreplay guys!" He steps closer, "So guys…tell me about Clarke Griffin. You two are friends with her right?"
Monty slowly breaks his stare from Jasper. "Ah, so you've seen them together?" He says putting one hand under his elbow and the other below his chin inquisitively.
"Who?" the director feigns ignorance.
"Lexa and Clarke" he says knowingly, flopping his hand outward from his chin.
"You know… I saw them in the elevator at Trigeda one day. They were practically flush together but tried to hide once I stepped onto the elevator. I mean one must be completely inept to not see and feel the sticky tension in there!" Monty gets excited toward the end using hand gestures to portray said tension. "Lexa is definitely into Clarke. I got her drooling after her once we got to the fifth floor!"
Finn thinks to himself for a beat thinking about the potential of this development.
"You know, I could get the security feed from the elevators if you want." Jasper offered nonchalantly. "It wouldn't be a problem."
Monty and Finn both turned toward Jasper who was too busy picking lint off his shirt.
"Wehell, the all mighty Jas-fingerman knows a guy huh?" Monty prods.
"More like, has fingered a guy." Finn sneers in Monty's ear resulting in a boastful chuckle between the two.
Jasper doesn't mind though, he likes the attention. "If you must know, his name is Jason. And he loves it from behind." With a wink he crosses his arms in finality.
Monty scrunches his nose at the name, "Jason?! As in that writer no one likes, Jason? Please tell me that is a one time thing."
Jasper shrugs, "It's only happened once but the dude is in love with me and he is roommates with someone in security. So would you like me to get the security feed or not?"
"Yes!" Finn speaks up excitedly. "I think this is going to be fun!" He exclaims grabbing his two best mates closely.
-
12:57pm
Octavia has finally garnered enough courage to confront Raven. Her training is done for the day and she has wanted to talk to her since earlier this morning. If they are to be working together they have to get passed the initial sting of it all and just rip the band-aid off. She knows there is still bad blood in the water but she is willing to get bit if it means they can stop wading in red. She sees Anya finally leave Raven's side so she decides that it's now or never. Watching the two interact from the tent was hard to bear. It's not like she has any reason to feel this way. She doesn't deserve Raven. No matter how much she has hardened herself, feelings are like weeds, finding ways through the cracks.
The heat has picked up since this morning, coating the sand in layers of stinging warmth. She inches out of her rash guard and lays it over a chair pushing it into the sun to dry. Octavia steps a few feet into the sand only to immediately return back into the cool shade of the tent. Damn, she forgot her sandals in the car this morning. She looks up with determination and decides to try and make it into the comfort of Raven's umbrella shade.
"Ahh" she whispers under her breath as she leaps off her toes scanting toward her unassuming ex. The microscopic heated glass and grain nip at the soles of her feet.
Raven, at this point, is pretty lubricated. Sharing her whiskey with Anya was a very pleasant surprise and it made the liquid run down especially fast and smooth. The girl was feeling great, not even thinking of her ex anymore. Until..
"Hey…" A tentative greeting hits her ears as she feels and smells someone's presence. Raven turns her head peering over her sunglasses. As soon as she sees who it is, two fucking feet away, her heart skips a beat and her breath reels in short hiccups. What the fuck. Her voice makes no effort in reciprocating.
The looming girl notices Raven's expression and understands her reaction, so she tries again," I know it's been a long time Raven, but I want to talk to you…" her voice is soft and kind, trying really hard not to scare the dark haired girl away again. Raven still hasn't responded returning her gaze to face the ocean with her lips pressed flat.
Octavia adjusts her stance a fraction further away from her without stepping out of the shade to give her more space. "Since we will be working together I just tho—"
"How?"
She is interrupted by an abrupt and curt question, one that she didn't quite understand.
"How what?" she asks softly leaning forward to hear her over the crashing waves.
At that, Raven turns harshly in her chair putting them face to face,
"How are you here, working on this project, back in this town? How are you standing there like you didn't piss on Clarke and I and vanish like we meant nothing? There are so many fucking How's I could be asking you right now or maybe I can ask a better question, one you might want to answer before any of this.." She waves her hand at the air between them, "…what ever the fuck cordiality you want to happen—Why?"
She takes in a huge breath not meaning to erupt into a seething interrogation. But she feels it's justified and not nearly as harsh as it should be. But yet, there is still time for that. She purposefully leaves her heart out of it, not wanting to give her any idea that she broke the living shit out of it. After her adrenaline slightly decreases in the pause between them, she feels herself panicking. Fuck, where is Clarke?! She's glad that her sunglasses cover most of her face because right now her eyes are turning red and wide and her face feels like its scrunching in on itself. Turning away from the standing girl once again she begins to look for her phone.
Octavia is a little taken a back by her rant but not surprised. Raven has always been blunt and full of fire. This is tame by the old Raven's standard but she knows she has so much to explain and make up for. Smelling the whiskey come off her breath O sighs before responding. She knows what 'why' she is asking but isn't quite sure how to answer her, right here, right now. Or at least she thinks she knows what 'why' she is asking.
Not wanting to screw this up she starts second-guessing what she means and doesn't want to ask ' why what?' in fear that she might completely explode at her. So she takes her time, it must be 'why did you leave us like that' because she asked herself that for years. But maybe she is asking 'why am I here', it's a simpler question but Octavia is pretty sure it's the former 'why'.
In the air of silence while both girls fidget at what to do next, the tension rises from a simmer to a boil. Raven is desperately searching for her phone but her brain is lubricated. Cursing under her breath she finds it wedged under her sweaty ass. Finally! She unlocks it and is ready to text Clarke the most desperate 911 text of her life.
"I'm sorry Raven…"
She hears O deliver a shaky apology as her fingers linger over her messenger app. She tries to utilize her peripheral vision because she is frozen. Sorry? The fuck you are. She sees Octavia lowering herself to sit on her legs putting them at equal height.
"I've been sorry everyday for seven years and I can't imagine how much I hurt you… and Clarke. I know nothing I say can make up for that time or… or for the way I left you…"
Raven grips her phone so tight she is sure it will pop out of her hand from the sweat surrounding it, her thumbs still hovering over the keys, she continues to listen.
"… I know this isn't an excuse but I knew that I would have never broken up with you if I didn't leave you the way I did. You… ugh, I was stupid and afraid back then. So much. You and I… what we had was something I didn't know how to keep. " O pauses, not sure if she is making any sense. She looks up to a heavy breathing Raven and notices she has stopped trying to mess with her phone as the screen locks to black.
"I never wanted to hurt you but to me…back then, it wouldn't have worked. Who I was, isn't who I am today. I wish I could be who I am today and go back in time to you then but I can't."
Her voice is quivering behind a gate of tears that she is holding back. She doesn't want to cry but maybe she should let them break free. Raven deserves more than she could have ever given her; she deserves more than her words can give her now too. It's unfair how things happened back then but she is thankful for this opportunity to apologize.
"I hope I can one day gain enough trust back to have you in my life but I understand and accept that might not be possible. And if that day comes, I hope that you'd let me explain why I did what I did and what happened."
Raven scoffs, "I know what happened O. You cheated on me, kept me like some window whore, and left me empty and thinking I had something I never did." She started off strong and full of venom but ended with a tear down her face. Having enough of this bullshit, Raven unlocks her phone and texts Clarke.
Shit. Octavia curses at herself but tries to recover. "I'm so so sorry Ray, I… he and I are—
"
A big shadow cascades across Raven as a deep voice belonging to the trainer boasts over her.
"Hey O, some of the cast wants to see what you can do on your short board. I think one of them can actually surf! Says she can show you up. I bet her that she had no chance."
Raven looks up but the sun blocks most of his features. However, he is shirtless so it gives her something else to look at. He is really fit and could be a damn model.
Octavia stiffens from his presence looking from Raven to Lincoln back to Raven, "Oh um, yeah, I'll be out there in a minute Li—" She stops herself from almost saying his name hoping to avoid further awkwardness. All this seems too much of a coincidence. Being on the same project years later, on this beach, together.
"Yeah, go ahead. I'll catch up!" she recovers.
He smiles at her and then looks back down to Raven who is still looking up at him. At this moment, Clarke jogs into the mix and eyes Raven, Octavia, and the trainer Lincoln all together in weird silence. It doesn't seem too bad but she rushes to rescue her best friend anyway.
"Hey guys," she says stepping in front of O creating a little barrier between the two tan girls. As she kneels down on the sand inches away from O she asks, "Raven, can I have a drink out of your cooler?" Clarke tries to give herself a reason to be here and leans half her body over Raven's lap already digging through it.
"Yeah, go ahead" he brunette relents, leaning with her to grab herself something too.
"What's going on?" Clarke whispers low enough so only she can hear.
Octavia notices how Clarke positions herself and how close they are now— it bothers her. She isn't surprised that they are working for the same company. But they seem closer now, almost too close. Before she can think any further on the matter, her thoughts are interrupted.
"Wait!? This is Raven?!"
Clarke and Raven freeze at the sound of his voice. O stands up and pleads with her eyes for him to just go back down the beach but he doesn't budge. His hands are on his hips as he eyes the girl in the chair.
"uh what the fuck?" Raven whispers to Clarke and she shrugs her shoulders. They both aren't quite sure what's going on.
"Not now, please." Octavia's voice is heard next with a pleading edge.
Raven lifts herself out of the cooler with one of the 'water bottles' in her hand. She finds narrowed dark eyes fixated on her. Lincoln is staring her down for no reason at all. What the hell has she done to this guy?
"Linc! Come on! We are all waiting!" Echo calls out down the shore. They sent him to get Octavia ten minutes ago so they can all head back into the water.
Clarke is still resting in Raven's lap when she feels the girl beneath her go rigid. She looks up to find her jaw clenched and her hands gripping the water bottle she pulled out with white knuckles and the crunching sound of the bottle giving way. The silence is so loud the blonde can't stand it another minute, so she stands up and demands, "Okay! What is going on?!"
She looks from Octavia to Lincoln to Raven. Her front is angled boxing Raven in behind her.
A few seconds go by and not a word has been said in response.
"Why is she here Octavia?! Did you invite her?" Lincoln asks with pain in his voice.
Okay, Clarke is officially confused but stands her protective ground in front of Raven. The hostility is coming from Lincoln so she narrows her brows toward him. Who is Raven to him anyway? The blonde knew bits and pieces of Raven's history with O but she never got details. She never knew the name of the guy that Octavia was seeing. It was always 'him' or 'that asshat'. Raven never said a name so she hasn't connected the dots yet.
Raven sits still—so still that her muscles and bones begin to ache. Linc? This is the guy she had been fucking…. Standing here, half naked… The same naked body she would ride after riding me—FUCK! The anger builds and builds inside of Raven; she can't believe this is happening. Suddenly feeling way too sober for this, she opens the 'water bottle' and starts to chug. She gets half way through before the burn is too much to handle.
"No, I didn't Lincoln. Calm down! She works for Heda Productions and it shouldn't matter if she's here!" Octavia is standing now with one hand on her hip and the other extended out toward him. "This isn't the time, the others are waiting on you! I'll be right there!" She points her arm down the beach nearly begging him to leave.
He doesn't move his feet.
Clarke is tired of the tension and she can tell Raven really doesn't want to be in the middle of this. Her brain is racking overtime trying to think what could be going on. The thought that this could be the guy Octavia cheated on Raven with skims across her brain so fast she barely grabs onto it as a logical viability.
But she does.
This situation fits.
She looks at Raven's anger, to Octavia's apparent discomfort and then to Lincoln's expression of pain.
"You have got to be fucking joking right now!"
She wastes no time in grabbing Octavia's wrist and yanking her away from Raven's proximity.
"You!" she growls as she pulls the girl around and shoves her toward Lincoln, "and you!" She's nearly yelling now, face red and ready. Clarke steps forward, completely shielding Raven, who is still seated-not moving.
"Get the fuck on!" She throws one arm pointing down the beach as she holds her other at her side with a clinched fist. There is no way she is letting O hurt Raven again. Her anger grows from the possibility that she is already too late.
O's eyes narrow but she doesn't say anything. She tilts her head trying to look at Raven behind Clarke but the blonde steps in front of her view, "I said, go away O! She doesn't want you here and frankly neither do I. Please leave!" Her arm is still extended but raised further up suggesting them to seriously fuck off.
Octavia winces at Clarke's anger as she stands next to Lincoln. "I'm sorry Clarke." He puts a hand on her shoulder that she brushes off and then she turns away to leave before him. When she starts to walk down the beach Lincoln follows hesitantly.
"Oh my god…" Clarke stares them down as they retreat. This is totally messed up. She turns to check on how Raven is doing but what she sees scares her. Raven has tears staining her cheeks and is gripping her arms around her body so tight that her fingertips dig so deep that they disappear.
"Ray?" The blonde falls to her knees with her hands gripping Raven's legs.
Raven is locked in her head, the cogs turning and churning about what just happened, connecting and realigning wires that were temporary placeholders over the years. He knew about her. Why does he know about me? Why did he act that way? Raven siphons through every possible angle to the situation but she can't form answers from it. Her brain is on overdrive and in a constant loop of mayhem. FUCK.
-
"Octavia wait up!" Lincoln catches up to the steaming brunette only to be stopped dead in his tracks as she turns on a dime.
"What the hell Lincoln!? You have no right to act that way when we aren't together!" Octavia's hands flail in the air with no real intent and fall back at her sides.
"I have no right?! When she is the reason why you couldn't marry me?! That is bullshit Octavia. I have every right to act that way when the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with couldn't commit because of some girl deep in her past." Lincoln steps forward endearingly while softening his voice.
"I am still in love with you Octavia...and I hate to see you hurt over someone that doesn't love you anymore. You said she didn't mean anything back then and I believed you. But then three years later you couldn't be with me? You said those pictures you kept were just for memories but yet you were still holding on weren't you?! You still are!"
Octavia swallows the lump in her throat. He is still hurting and it's her fault; She is still hurting and it's her fault. She lowers her head and thinks back to when it all went wrong. She was so young and many would say selfish but she couldn't deny herself Raven. Her emotions for the girl were raw, a brand new feeling she never experienced before. And experiencing something so powerful and new is scary, especially at an age where the whole world scares you. So this connection she had with this interesting and challenging soul was everything besides comforting. It was barreling, pure, strong and came so fast for her it was surprising that she didn't step out of the way from the sheer speed in which it approached. She stood her ground and let it hit her. But in the end she limped away, didn't she? She blames herself everyday for being that person, for being someone who hurts those she cares about. She hates herself for portraying someone who plays with other's emotions. It's not like she meant to, in all honesty when she was in the moment it was such a blur. It wasn't like she blatantly cheated on Raven because what they were was barely understood. The rules were never established and their relationship was never public, not even to Clarke. But she knew she did her wrong, there is no excuse that can absolve her from the terrible way she left her. In her mind she created a maze in which she couldn't escape. She wanted Raven to be hers, Octavia thinks that she loved her at one point but buried it along the way because she knew she didn't deserve to love her. Linc was an easy escape; he was everything she was supposed to want. It masked everything so effortlessly for a while until the day he proposed. Suddenly forever with anyone seemed impossible, suddenly the idea of losing Raven outweighed the idea of gaining Lincoln. It was a mistake. This was a mistake. Over the next four years she hardened herself into someone who needs no one.
-
Clarke is nervous seeing her best friend like this. She can't leave to take her home and Raven is too drunk to drive. Her attempt to shake the girl from shock failed so she runs to the R&R tent to grab a few bottled juices and some snacks. She hopes this will sober her up but she doubts that she will want that now.
"Ray, I got some juice and snacks…you should eat." She soothes, kneeling back down to eye level. No response.
She sighs putting her hands on her best friend's thighs when she gets an idea. Clarke stands up and strips off her shirt and shorts. She grabs Raven's hands lifting her from her chair and basically drags her to the ocean. The brunette barely notices that she is moving until she is abruptly thrown into the cold biting ocean.
"Clarke!"
The blonde follows suit and jumps in beside her with a squeal! Raven wastes no time standing up in the water with a look of betrayal. "What the hell?!"
Clarke chuckles lightly while trying to stand herself, "You needed to snap out of it Ray, you weren't responding to me. Plus, it's a great day to be at the beach!" She tries to loosen the tension.
"Fuck all" She grumbles trying to wade back to the comfort of her chair. But Clarke has a different idea; she leaps toward her and latches her arms around her waist. Raven stumbles forward from the blonde's weight as she tries to keep from falling but the girl attached to her just goes limp!
"Clarke!"
Raven tries to wriggle free but Clarke's grip is too much, making her trip in the sand into the water! The brunette's screams are heard before being muffled by salt water. Frustrated, she starts to fight back. She isn't in the mood for this! All she wants to do is drink and forget. But Clarke won't let her!
They wrestle in the water, occasionally getting to their knees to gasp for air.
-
Lexa drops down the face of a wave riding it a bit before kicking out when she hears a scream. She bails off her board only to climb on it again in order to look down the beach for the commotion. She sees Clarke and another girl wrestling each other in the water, it looks like its for fun but she can't be sure. It's almost time to hit the showers but she finds herself paddling toward them.
"Hey!"
Just as she was about to head out she hears someone calling behind her. It's Octavia. She takes a deep breath before turning her board to face the approaching girl. Maybe it was for the best, she couldn't really approach Clarke and stop her from flirting with someone else. Interrupting them was her only option or maybe she would have just pretended to catch a wave to see what was going on.
"You are really good. Been surfing long?" She asks paddling to stop right next to Lexa.
"Since I was little but I haven't been out in years. I find it something I can always come to and jump right back in like it never left me. How about you?" She counters accepting the fact that she was intercepted.
"I started skateboarding a lot as a kid and found surfing once I moved closer to the water. I love everything about it. I usually surf to clear my mind and beat myself up a bit. Or rather let the ocean do it for me." Her gaze searches the shore as she chuckles with self-deprecation. Lexa notices the fall in her features but she isn't one to ask if they aren't readily offering up the information.
Instead of asking she offers up something of her own, "I like the uncertainty of it. It's almost like an escape without going that far."
Octavia nods while looking off into the distance. She looks at her watch and reads 2:20pm.
"Shit, I should have gotten you guys to the showers twenty minutes ago. Lets go." She paddles to Echo and Ontari to tell them to get back to shore with Lexa following not too far behind her. They have to shower, then dress rehearsal with Monty before topping it off with Jaspers make up trials.
-
2:30pm
Exhausted, Raven sits in a few feet of water with her hands digging in the sand. Clarke is seated in front of her with the waves crashing into her back. She likes the feeling of the waves rushing passed her. Heavy breaths are the only things exchanged between them besides lingering glances. They communicate without having to verbalize, using micro expressions and sighs that say 'I know' and 'I'm sorry'. Raven is a drama free person, usually. She would rather cut people out of her life than deal with negativity or reoccurring drama. Clarke and her have stuck by each other this long because they tend to cling to the good side of things despite the efforts of their lives battling against that. They rarely fight due to their easygoing natures. However today is not their first and it won't be their last.
"What did O say to you before it all went to hell?" Clarke shifts her legs to sit cross-legged under the shifting water. One thing is for sure; they are equally stubborn as they are equally blunt toward one another. There will be bruises tomorrow.
Raven grips the sand harder beneath her before releasing it away with the retreating tide, wishing that her past was that easy to erase. She isn't sure how to answer Clarke's question or if she wants to at all. O was trying to apologize and Raven understands that they need to move beyond what happened in the past in order to work together now but like hell she is going to make it easy on the girl. Even though she is presumably drama free, she isn't a saint. She doesn't put herself above ' an eye for an eye'. If someone were to shit on her, she sure as shit would fight right back with said shit.
Clarke waits patiently while Raven idles knowing that she will eventually answer even if it isn't the answer to the question. She leans back on her hands thinking back to the event hoping that her actions were valid…Code Mufasa—yes, immediate extraction, it was what she needed; it was totally valid. Her mind wonders to the different outcomes if she had reacted differently but she's sure that she did her best. Even up to the point of tackling Raven in the ocean to pull her out of what Clarke would describe as a manic state. She is sure Raven would have drank herself to oblivion if she hadn't.
Just as she gives herself an affirming nod, she hears Raven clear her throat to speak, "She was apologizing…saying that she if she could go back, as herself today, she would. I don't really know Clarke." She hits the surface of the water.
"It was a bit of a blur because I couldn't decide if I truly wanted answers or if I just wanted to yell at her." With a deep breath she flattens her hair on her head and sifts her ponytail through her hand. "She said she wanted a chance to explain, but I mean… what is there to explain? She cheated on me, strung me along so far that I hated myself more than I hated her because I let it happen. I knew she was seeing—" She abruptly stops because bile started to bubble in her throat. She swallows a few times before continuing, "I knew what was happening but I believed her… I thought we had something worth fighting for…" her voice cracks.
"Do you know what it's like to believe whole-heartedly in something just to be proven wrong? Like, you chose a path that exhausted all your resolve and everything you had emotionally, only to realize that it was a dead end… that it was a dead end the whole fucking time… and why would I willingly go back into that maze?" Raven's chin hits her chest; she doesn't want to feel trapped by her past. She never wanted to be close enough to feel anything like that again. The tears threaten to fall but she doesn't let a single one-drop.
Clarke watches her deflate; Raven never got to heal from the pain. The absence of closure left her heart in pieces and she is certain she never got most of them back. She relates to her but hasn't ever been heart broken in that way. She has never been in love. But she does know loss so she offers the only thing she can.
"I know what it's like to lose something that I wasn't prepared to lose. I know what it feels like to have your heart ripped from your chest. It's terrible and I wouldn't want to experience it again. But it happens and the only way those tragedies can mean anything is to grow from it. Our resistance is stronger for it Raven, we are wiser than before which makes us better at protecting ourselves, and learning those lessons are a part of our character. This is your demon, this is what all that pain and suffering was for. To be able to look at it in the eye and say, ' I don't fear you and you can't hurt me anymore.'" Clarke crawls so that she is sitting shoulder to shoulder with her.
Raven lifts her head up, "So you can think about your dad and say that? Can you say that you aren't still suffering, trapped and controlled, having witnessed his murder?" She isn't sure if being blunt now is the right thing, in fact after she asks she fears that it was absolutely the wrong thing. It was in a slight effort to push the spot light away from her and in some sick twisted way of defense she chose to throw Clarke's logic right back at her. Raven squints in anticipation.
"Um…" Clarke wraps her arms around her knees thinking about it. She has talked to Raven about it a few times in the last few years. It isn't something she wants to relive but she likes to think she has forgiven herself. The question that has been unanswered but asked so many times is, how could she have known that the information she knew would lead to his end?
"I can now say that it wasn't my fault that he died when all I did back then was blame myself. I can say that I'm stronger for it and live better because of it. I'm not perfect and neither are you so the pain will always linger. It will affect us until we turn around and control it instead of letting it control us. There's no pain that is the same but I can tell you that the hardest part of it all was facing myself…" Clarke wipes her face. "I forgave myself and maybe you should start to forgive yourself too. I know you hate yourself for being vulnerable and you shut yourself out to avoid that 'mistake' again. But maybe that wasn't your mistake. I think loving someone is far from a mistake because it's what makes life more about just surviving Ray. It's about finding those moments that make all the pain worth while…"
Her mind flashes to green eyes.
-
"Lexa! Get in the shower and into wardrobe ASAP! We don't have all the daylight in the world here!" Finn beckons from within the beauty tent. He sees her emerge with Echo, Ontari and Octavia from water twenty minutes behind schedule. "Where is Costia?!" He yells inside the tent.
She rolls her eyes at his eccentric nature but she hustles anyway. Speaking of someone on her ass, she wonders where Gustus has been. He usually can't keep this far away without being seen.
"Looking for me?"
"Ah!" Lexa jumps at the sudden intrusion of space. So that's what Clarke must feel like when I do that to her…noted. Anya snuck up on her yet again; man this girl is a stealth bomb. She reminds her so much of Gustus. Speaking of Gustus, where is he?
"Why aren't you showered yet?" She notices, taking a few steps back as she is already clad in her beach attire. "You like my swank?"
Anya is wearing loose white slacks, a pale pink button up, a brown leather shoulder holster with two fake guns and a matching belt. "Does this not scream Miami Vice, I'm gonna shoot yo ass and snort your cocaine?!"
Lexa laughs with her while shaking her head, "It looks nice An. You look intimidating yet approachable." She says sarcastically batting her eyes.
"Whatever, Can't wait to see what you're going to wear! I've got to head to hair and make-up. Hurry your ass up!" Anya pats her back, "Now go take a shower, you smell like seaweed! And not the good kind!"
They part ways leaving Lexa to walk the rest of the way to her trailer. She sees Gustus a few feet away, less engaging than usual, not that she is complaining. Her trailer isn't that big but it has a shower so it's great to have around especially on days like this. She enters the only door and is surprised to find Costia sitting inside. The one time Gustus chooses to be non-engaging… Christ.
