When nothing goes as planned
Week 7
Emily was lucky enough to get an appointment with her doctor early the next day, and a blood test once again confirmed that she was indeed pregnant, but that was not the only thing. The doctor also estimated Emily's due day to be January 15th, 2011 and an appointment for a nuchal scan was set to be in precisely five weeks.
Emily left the doctor's office feeling completely numb. She knew that she was pregnant before she had even arrived there, but having your friend or a stick you just peed on tell you that you are pregnant is very different from having the doctor say it. Now it was real. Now it was really real! She was having a baby. At this very moment a little person was growing inside of her. She could not help but smile as she moved one hand from the steering-wheel down to her stomach.
Emily has felt kind of bloated in the last couple of weeks. She had even gained a few pounds, but she had not really thought much about it. Emily again just blamed it on the stress of the job. "God, how could I be so naïve?" Emily asked herself with a sigh and pulled into the parking lot. She parked the car, locked it and quickly walked into the elevator. She pressed the button that would lead her to the BAU's bullpen, but just as the doors were about to close, someone yelled for her to hold them. She did, and when the doors opened again, none other than Aaron Hotchner was standing there looking back at her. The only person she did not want to see. Emily cursed at herself for not just letting the door shut as she stepped aside so Hotch could enter.
"Good morning," Hotch said as he walked in and stood next to her.
"Morning," she said and walked to the other side of the elevator, as far away from Hotch as she could. "You are here late."
"Late?"
"You are usually here much earlier."
"So are you."
Emily just nodded her head and they rode the rest of the way up in silence. Emily never looked at Hotch as he stood there beside her. She was afraid that if he was able to look closely at her he would know. He would know that she was pregnant and she could not have that. He could not know. Well she was going to tell him, but not here, not now.
"Are you okay?" Hotch asked Emily. Even though she was facing away from him he thought she looked a little green. Maybe she was coming down with something. Emily swallowed and breathed in slowly before saying, "Yeah I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Mmhmm," Emily nodded and when the elevator came to a stop she quickly walked out of it with a hand over her mouth and ran towards the women's bathroom.
/
When Emily came back from the bathroom JJ was waiting for her by her desk. Emily knew what she wanted, but this was not a conversation they could have in the middle of the bullpen. So Emily walked with JJ back to her office and dropped down on the couch with a loud sigh.
"Was I right?" JJ asked sitting down in her desk chair.
Emily nodded, "Yeah, you were. I'm 7 weeks pregnant."
JJ smiled. She knew how much Emily wanted a child, and now she was pregnant. But JJ's expression quickly changed from smiling to confusion. "Who is the father?"
Emily covered her face with her hands. "Do you remember that night we all went out after a case 7 weeks?" she mumbled.
"Yeah, you were pretty drunk."
"That I was," she sighed, "but I also ended up going home with someone."
"Someone…?"
"Hotch."
"WHAT!" JJ yelled shocked and stood from the chair. "You slept with Hotch?" she asked now in a low voice so others would not hear.
"Yes. We were both drunk and it felt so nice being in his arms as we danced, so I leant up and kissed him and he kissed back and…" Emily trailed off. "You know what happened next."
JJ sat down again and a crooked smile came upon her lips. "Was it good?"
Emily blushed. "At first I couldn't remember anything. I just woke up and found myself lying naked in bed with Hotch."
"Awkward!"
"Tell me about." Emily rolled her eyes. "But then after a couple of hours I started to remember things and after three days I remembered everything, and yes, it was good. In fact it was really good!"
"It was a hickey!"
"What?" Emily asked confused.
"The morning after we all went out I noticed a bruise on your jaw. You said it was from when you hit your head on the bedside table. But it wasn't a bruise, it was a hickey! I knew you weren't telling the truth," JJ said with a laugh and Emily once again blushed. "When are you going to tell Hotch about the baby?"
Emily sighed deeply. "Tonight, because I don't think I can hide it for much longer," she said and got up from the couch lifting her shirt, revealing her stomach, which she had described as just being bloated to herself earlier, but she now knew that that was not true. "And he needs to know. Not just because he is the father, but he is also my boss. I have to tell him."
"Wow, you are starting to show early," JJ said and laid her hand on Emily's stomach. "And yeah, the sooner you tell him the better. That way he will also have more time to get used to the idea of becoming a dad again."
"Do you think he is going to be angry at me?" Emily asked and pulled her shirt down again.
"Angry? No. This wasn't something you did on purpose and as they say, 'It takes two to tango.'"
"I hope you are right," Emily said with a sigh. "I need to get back to work."
"Me too," JJ said sitting back down behind her desk and watched as Emily left her office. JJ was nervous on Emily's behalf about her upcoming conversation with Hotch, but she just really hoped that everything would turn out good.
/
Emily sighed and once again found herself thinking about something entirely else than the file that was lying in front of her. When she tried to concentrate, her thoughts would keep drifting back to Hotch and what she was going to say to him and when she would do it. The last she had decided on. She was going to wait till everybody else had gone home, so if Hotch decided on yelling at her, then no one else was around to hear it.
Emily tried to focus on work again, but her mind wandered off.
Thomas.
'Thomas is a nice name. I wonder if the baby is a Thomas, if it's boy, of course. Or maybe Alex. Alex could always work if it's a girl. Oh Katie! Katie is such a sweet name for a girl and so is Lily. Lily is a flower's name. There are many flower names: Violet, Rose, Daisy – well maybe not Daisy, seeing that I had a cat named Daisy when I was little, and I'm not going to name my daughter after a pet – and there's also Poppy and many others.' Emily shook her head. 'Okay, no more thinking about names. I have to concentrate on work now! Concentrate. Concentrate. Concentrate! Oh Julie is also such a cute name!'
So when the last person left the bullpen Emily made her way to Hotch's office and gently knocked on the door. She heard a low, 'come in,' from the other side. Emily breathed slowly and thought to herself that there would no going back now as she opened the door and walked in. Hotch looked up from the file he was reading and Emily could see that he was surprised to see her. And if Emily was correct, this was the first time since they slept together that they were in a room alone. That is what avoiding each other will get you. Emily wished that she had handled things differently, so this did not have to seem so awkward.
"I thought you had already gone home," Hotch said as Emily sat in the chair across from him.
"No, uhm… there is something I need to talk to you about."
"Okay, what's that?"
"We have been ignoring and avoiding each other ever since we slept together," Emily said and felt her cheeks heating as a picture of her and Hotch together entered her mind.
"I'm sorry. I didn't notice that I was doing so."
"It's okay. I have been doing the same. But I think we need to talk about what we did."
Hotch closed the file in front of him. "Why?"
"Because we can't just ignore it anymore?"
"Why not? We have been ignoring it for almost two months now. So why can't we ignore it?"
Emily felt herself tear up as she said, "Because I'm pregnant!"
Hotch looked at her like he did not believe what she was saying and was quiet for about two minutes before yelling, "WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME SOONER, IT HAS BEEN 7 WEEKS SINCE WE WERE TOGETHER? HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?"
"Don't yell at me!" Emily said and felt a tear slid down her right cheek. "I didn't think about the possibility of me being pregnant till JJ pointed it out. And I went to see the doctor this morning and she confirmed it. I'm pregnant!" Emily wrapped her arms around herself and leant forward, crying softly.
Hotch felt a stab in his chest when he saw the tears fall and heard her sob. He had made her cry, as if this was her fault. He quickly got up from his seat and walked around the desk to Emily's side where he knelt beside her and gently laid a hand on her back. "Please don't cry, Emily. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I didn't mean to, I was just surprised."
Emily sniffled, "I'm sorry too."
"For crying?"
"For being pregnant."
"It's not your fault," Hotch said and when Emily busted into tears again, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. "Ssh, it's okay. We will figure something out," he mumbled in her hair as he rubbed her back, but in reality Hotch had no idea what they were going to do. They just had to take things as they come and deal with it the best way they could.
