Ch. 8 Beep Beep

2:46pm

She pauses with one foot in the door, "uh Costia, what are you doing here?"

Costia sits on her couch, clad only in the white RV robe given to the actors.

"Don't you have your own trailer… like ten feet that way?" She points her thumb behind her.

"Yeah but I lent it to Fox…so I used yours." She says coolly. "I remember when you used to light up when I would be in your trailer."

"Um, okay… Now that you've done that, can you like…go?" Lexa encourages by stepping aside showing her the exit with her out stretched arm.

"Look Lexa," Costia stands up to walk towards her.

She's still beautiful, Lexa thinks to herself, but beauty isn't everything. This girl is one of the most manipulative beings she has ever encountered, one with limited moral standards and blinding self-servitude.

" I know we aren't on the best of terms but we will be working together a lot and doing things that require us to be more than friendly… this whole hating me thing isn't going to help us. I'm sorry how things happened back then but this is a project in which we will have to spend a lot of time together. Can we try to get along, at least so we aren't stiff when production starts?" She stands a foot away from Lexa, limiting her pathway, effectively gaining her attention. Costia knows that in order to get Lexa's compliance, she has to appeal to her practicality. She also knows, Lexa is committed to her craft and will do what it takes in order to be better.

Because of Costia's advance, Lexa tries to step backwards but the guile girl has affectively put baby in a corner. Lexa's choices are limited and being this close to a freshly showered Costia challenges her fortitude. She's only human after all.

Her mind races for a way out but Costia makes a good point, they will have to pretend to like each other on set and much more, so being amicable will only help. As much as she doesn't want to, this is part of being an actor. Even if she doesn't like a co-star, she still has to act like she does. Otherwise, the kissing scenes will be unconvincing, which will increase the amount of takes, which in turn will cause more frustration and very chapped lips.

So, might as well start practicing.

With the clench of her jaw she agrees, "sure Costia, I just…" Lexa puts her hands on Costia's shoulders to put distance between them, " I need you to respect my space and… realize that what you did was fucked up."

Lexa glances at her smirk rich lips before continuing, "I don't trust you and it'll take time but I think we can work past it..."

Costia combs a hand through her wet hair eyeing the girl in front of her; she licks her lips and hums.

She feels accomplished after Lexa's acquiescence and leans forward despite the arms in her way, "I know that it seemed that I didn't care about you but you were so involved with Filippo and the film that I couldn't get your attention if I wanted to. I was really into you Lexa and… I didn't know how to deal with rejection from something I worked really hard for…Filippo was too involved with us and it didn't sit right with me from the beginning but I pushed through it and in the end it was all for nothing. I missed out on so many opportunities because of the time I put in to get that part."

Lexa flattens her expression in disbelief.

" Really Lex, it wasn't you; it was business. You know how agents are… I never stopped having feelings for you… you…" She steps closer to brush her thumb over Lexa's cheekbone. "You're special and everyone sees it. I'm just caught up in this life just as much as you are and it hurts…"

What is she doing? This isn't… Lexa stands stunned, unable to comprehend what's happening.

Costia's voice drops to a whisper, "You're the only person that I've let that close to me. You know my life and how it was never mine. My parents made me into this…project and there isn't much I have control over…"

Her eyes glisten as she looks into Lexa's eyes. She hopes for understanding; hopes for a way in.

"But I felt like myself when I was with you but my reality won out in the end…" She slowly leans in to place a chaste kiss on the edge of her mouth, "I'm sorry that I hurt you Lexa."

She's really pulling out all the stops on this one… Lexa thinks this is another rouse but she tries to believe the good in all people. Even her.

"Um…" she doesn't know what to say to this Costia. She looks open and vulnerable but how can she tell what's real. When they dated, she thought she knew the real Costia. She thought she was the only one who got to see behind the mask she wore, but in the end she was just another fool in her game. At least that's what she felt like. With this girl, nothing seems to be genuine and everything is a guess. That's just not the kind of company Lexa wants to keep, she wants to surround herself with sure individuals who build her up, not break her down. And this Costia breaks people down mentally; this Costia is the most dangerous one of them all.

"Shh…" She stills her finger on Lexa's lips. "You're thinking too hard. I know I have a lot of making up to do, I just need you to let me, okay?"

They're literally inches apart, breathing each other's air. Lexa's heart beats marginally faster, Costia's finger outlines her lip before she pulls away. She doesn't like the feeling in her gut. She's noticing that she doesn't have the same appeal as she used to, being this close to Costia does nothing for her. She realizes this gives her more power against her and that is a huge shift in this dynamic.

"Now take a picture with me. The fans want one of us and we can't disappoint." Turning on a dime she doesn't wait for Lexa to agree. She flips her phone around snapping a picture.

Click.

Lexa can't react fast enough to the shift in the atmosphere.

"Lexa! Come on… smile at least!" She puts her back to Lexa's front again leaning her head back before taking another picture. Lexa gives a tight-lipped smile in hopes to get her to stop.

"Okay, I really have to get ready now."

Costia stays close; back to her chest, while editing the photo, "Alright Cos," Lexa pushes her toward the exit by her shoulders. "I'll see you out there."

Costia nods more concerned with posting the photo on social media than Lexa herself. "One more picture of just you, the fans love you!" As she steps down the exit she turns to take a photo of a brooding Lexa in the doorway. "You're so cute!" Costia exclaims before finally exiting her trailer.

Lexa shakes her head. She can't believe she was ever in love with that girl. Whatever she felt, it's not there anymore, but Costia still gets under her skin. As she lingers at the door, a figure catches her eye. Gustus is standing tall a few feet away, "Now you stand guard? Thanks for the heads up Gus," she remarks dryly.

He eyes her but stays stoic as ever.

She sighs, finally on her own, her shoulders relax and she retreats back into her trailer. The feeling Costia leaves behind is like a looming ghost, a perpetrator of her twisted vendetta. As she gets ready to shower, a battle ensues within her. She knows she needs to put the past behind her but she wants to distance herself from something that brought her so much emotional turmoil. She wants to imagine herself as someone stronger than that and Costia makes her feel inferior to that.

Speaking of perpetrator, Costia makes her way to the beauty tent as she posts a tweet.

Costia Villeneuve
CostiaVillen My surfer Lexawoods needs a shower before we head to the beauty tent! [Lex& ] MCsquared Jasbergers #RVBeachRehearsal #CostiaCameraRV

She posts the first picture of them in the trailer. Most of her fans wanted to see them together so provides and pleases. There were many different requests but the ones that were asked the most were for her and Lexa:
'Can we have one of you kissing?'

'Where is Lexa?'

'What does your trailer look like?'

'Can you surf with Lexa?'

'Are you two back together?'

After getting automatic hearts and retweets on her first post she sets on posting another. She has twice as many followers as Lexa because she posts more often and gets involved in the viral flow. Being the type to adhere to trends and indulge her fans, she's able to steer their thoughts and views to her favor. Costia takes a quick winking selfie and edits a picture so that she's on the left and Lexa's brooding face on the right.

Costia Villeneuve CostiaVillen I'm off to see the wizard Jasbergers to become the fairest one of them all. [ ] Don't worry LexaWoods, you're still the apple in my eye. #RV #RVBeachRehearsal #CostiaCameraRV #snowwhite

-

3:20pm

Clarke and Raven are walking back to her area on the beach when she spots Costia walking clad in only a robe from Lexa's trailer.

She averts her gaze immediately, not wanting to have that image in her mind. She tries to push the idea of them together out of her head. Mostly she tries to convince herself that it doesn't bother her at all.

It bothers her exponentially.

She isn't sure if it's because it's Costia or if it's because the thought of Lexa and Costia makes her sad. Part of her hoped that Lexa wasn't that easy and the other part of her holds on to the hope that she's different. Clarke doesn't want it to affect her but she can't help it. These are people who pretend for a living, so what's real and what's not? It's a question often asked around anyone but it's amplified in the film industry. Manipulations are a common currency here and it's hard to be someone important for too long before someone else is knocking you down to stand in your place. It's Hollywood after all, LA—the 'it' scene, the place where dreams come to die. The pretentious bustling that hums in the air throughout the day never bothered her until now. She shouldn't care what Lexa does, she can do whatever with whomever she wants.

Her mind rationalizes the situation with factual evidence: Costia is 'exploring her sexuality' and is scripted to be Lexa's love interest in the show, they have deep history, and that she, herself, doesn't have much to offer. It's a self-defeatist thing for her to say but she can't help it. And that's what angers her. She's never had a problem with her worth, she gave herself value and that's all she needed. This situation has already put a soap-opera drama series in her life and she can't have that. Not with Indra's side projects, her schedule with the show, and Raven. Her self-worth is important to her and she doesn't want anyone else to dictate it.

What a fucking load of shit.

Shrinking into her familiar stoic self she turns her attention to the only thing that could dull the senses.

"Do you have any vodka?" the blonde plops down next to Raven who is already getting the juice Clarke procured earlier and the liquor ready—the remedy to their downtrodden day.

"Already on it! Here, drink a few gulps of this" Raven hands her the pineapple juice while she does the same to the mango passion fruit. As she sets to work on her concoctions she keeps the focus on Clarke, "So I saw you and Lexa down the beach earlier…what's going on there?"

She hears the question loud and clear but her mind muffles itself to the answer.

Nothing is going on, nothing at-fucking-all.

She doesn't know what's going on, her feelings are jumbled together and out of sheer stubbornness she doesn't want to give in. Yet it's involuntary and nothing can be more frustrating. Clarke isn't someone that can be particularly romanced and flattery does little for her, she thinks perhaps that's why she has never been in love. Everyone who has tried failed miserably at the enigma that is Clarke. She never complained; it's been something that she grew used to. In fact, she grew to love life without hang-ups, crushes so to speak, or commitments. She was more focused on herself, building herself from the inside out. Maybe she can attribute her contentment to reading a lot as a kid, mostly poems and plays at one point, that's where her passion for acting began. She finds comfort in the world she's created in her mind and the characters she's held dear from them. Reading now is subservient to her art. After discovering her natural ability to create something out of nothing, she can't do anything else but create.

And now she's trying to invert that skill, trying to make nothing out of something in her heart.

It's not working out so well for her. She could lie and say it's nothing but after telling Raven to face her fears, it would be hypocritical for her to hide from this. So she settles on something true to say.

"I'm not sure…" she replies while staring off into the horizon, "I think there's something happening and I can't quite grasp it. I'm not even sure I want to reach out and try, either."

Raven nods patiently waiting for Clarke to continue. She pours gin into the mango and vodka into the pineapple. She notices Clarke hug her knees in contemplation and scratch her wrist a bit too harshly so she prompts her, "So then can you answer me this… do you like her?"

She nudges her shoulder holding out the beverage for her to take, which she does kindly.

Clarke takes a huge gulp before shrugging her shoulders, "I'm attracted to her…" she admits.

"And how often can you say that about someone?" Raven asks taking a swig of her own remedy.

Sometimes she hates having one person who knows her this well, retreating into herself is safe and familiar but Raven always reaches in and grabs her back out. Raven would say she's the weirdest mix of extrovert and introvert she has ever known. Some days she's the life of the party, instigating every outing and adventure. And some days, which is more than most, she's a homebody, working on personal development or doing something creative. She knows that if she didn't want to talk, Raven would respect that but it's not something she wants to keep inside. It's scary being the only one to face it. And so, sometimes she loves having one person who knows her this well to share her burdens with.

"I can't say I've felt this way before and it…it's kind of scary?" Clarke takes another sip of her drink looking away down the beach. She feels uncomfortable because for the first time in a while she doesn't know what she's feeling; she has zero control. There isn't a word for it and it's scary but she isn't afraid. So to explain it to anyone would just be a mixture of conundrums and contradictions.

Raven fights away the urge to warn her of these kinds of feelings, now that the residual scars within her have been torn open again. Her biased experience would most definitely say 'love is weakness' but she can't bring herself to smear it based off her one experiment with it. To make an accurate assumption she needs to experience it at least twice. So instead, she offers encouragement, "I think it's a thing worth exploring, don't you?"

Clarke shrugs her shoulders keeping her gaze pointing toward the rocks to her right. "The idea is growing on me."

Beep Beep

Beep Beep

The waterproof watch that she rarely takes off beeps at her and lights up in three short pulses.

"I thought that thing was broken," Raven curiously comments.

"Me too…" Clarke turns her wrist to see the ancient interface wiggle back to life, the hands move and visible gears through the tiny window jut to life. It's half digital half analog, never seeming to have a purpose despite its aesthetic. "Curious…" The more it rotates and hums to life, the stronger the buzz in her belly gets. She remembers when her dad gave her the watch, how serious he was about keeping it safe.

"I want to give you this Clarke, It's very special to me. I've had this since your great grandpa explored the tombs of Zidartha. It's where he found the stone's that make it tick, hear listen…"

Pure elation beams out from her smile as she listens to the life inside the tiny oval, her dad has just given her his favorite thing in the whole world. The thing that he spent hours tinkering with in his study; the thing that Clarke sought out to destroy because it took so much of him away; the thing that ultimately brought them the closest they have ever been. It was a question often muttered to herself when she saw him so obsessed with it; taking gears out only to put them back in, 'why does he give so much of his time to that watch, shouldn't it be the one giving time to him?' She never understood it but because of that mystery she never dared to part with it. Not only was it something that had great value to him but also it was unlike anything she's ever seen.

"You're very special too and this watch will guide you one day, you'll just have to listen to your heart and you'll find the way."

-

Approximately thirty miles out from Santa Monica beach a large fishing boat is anchored in the deep water with three men growing restless atop the shaky blue surface. The wind steadily grew through midday easily becoming the ocean's enemy, threatening every man's stability and patience. The smell of the sea permeates through their clothes mixing with the nervous aroma staining their pits.

"Emerson! They've been down there too long!" He frantically says, looking over for a solution from the grungy man.

"Well what do you want me to do? It's buried deep and because it's taking them this long, they must have found something…" He peers over the edge eager to see results.

The short wiry man squirms in his expensive Visvim boat shoes, "Mr. Blake expects us to report back by 1600. It's a seek and find, not a recovery mission!"

"This is my boat! Mr. Blake is not in charge here and neither are you, mate!" Emerson boasts his chest to tower over him. Emerson is a survivalist and he's in the business of making money and taking advantage of any profitable opportunity. If something is found it isn't uncharacteristic for Emerson to indulge in a finder's fee. Despite getting paid, it isn't worth as much as what they find. Emerson and his men are black market treasure hunters, amongst the grimiest blokes in the business.

"If your father wasn't who he is, I would have thrown you over board by now!" he grumbles, "and then you would be swimming with the fishes instead of riches!"

Emerson grunts in delight at the thought before looking down into the water once more. "Fucking Wallaces, think they own everybody," he mutters under his breath.

Seconds later, bubbles break the surface near the bow followed by two out of breath scuba divers. One carries a full bag of finds while the other takes off his oxygen mask in anger.

"Next time you want to stay down longer, make sure we have enough oxygen!" He gasps.

"I think we found something," the more competent man offers to Emerson. "It was deep and among the wreckage we found a few doubloons and but I think the rest is spread out for miles."

Once aboard, the men vibrate with excitement, finally weeks and weeks of searching might have paid off. Mr. Blake will finally pay them in full.

They dump the bag out onto the table inside the cabin: trinkets, junk and then out tumbles a very peculiar cylinder, cemented over by calcium and barnacles.

Emerson smiles, "the rest of the wreckage doesn't matter…" he says mesmerized. His men smile at their new booty and get to work at divvying up. He picks the clunk of junk up and satisfyingly states, "I think we found what we've been looking for..."

3:45pm

Lexa steps into the steaming shower with little urgency. Being the lead in a show gives some leeway to indulgences and right now it's the kind of day where it wouldn't matter if she took the extra time. So she does, lathering up her favorite soap she stocked up from Paris. It was in one of the nicest hotel bathrooms she's ever been in and the sample soap was the best thing she has ever smelled (until she met Clarke). She called in a few favors and had the opportunity to fill a whole suitcase full of them to take back to the States.

Her mind wonders to Clarke's smile and the way her laugh gave her satisfaction. The moment they shared was special and Lexa works on replaying it over and over in her mind as she lathers her body. She focuses on the sensation of her own touch imagining Clarke's palm instead of her own. She hesitates to take it further but the sensation feels amazing. She dares to think of Clarke's lips caressing where her own fingertips press against her skin. It sends a burning tickle up her center that she can't ignore. Lexa's hands map her body under the lubricant of soap and water. She doesn't usually do this, but Clarke has her all mixed up. Suddenly she's desperate and misses physical intimacy. Her right arm crosses her body gripping her hip as her other hand skims over her exposed breast then up to her neck. She grips at it softly before she intensifies the hold into a massaging vice. She needs to relax and what better way than to release sexual frustration. Lexa's left hand dares to fall past her pelvis and into timid territory.

She thinks about touching herself, hesitating again in her trim hairs before guiding a finger in between her legs to feel if she can get anywhere. She isn't surprised to find herself wet but what elicits a sharp inhale is how slick she actually is. Her fingers slide so smoothly around that she can't help but play around a bit before getting to the point. The fact that she's touching herself without wanting to stop is enough to keep her going. It feels really good. Lexa doesn't masturbate often; it's not as satisfying as the real thing and she'd rather wait than do it herself. Her mind works on too many tiers to focus on the task, she ends up thinking about work or what she has to do before she finishes, so she doesn't bother. But now, her mind is calm and her focus is on Clarke. She holds onto vivid images of Clarke's lips parting for air and her deep voice saying her name. Her fingers draw up to circle her clit in random intensity as she shifts her thoughts to Clarke's strong thighs and curves. She wishes she could've seen her in her bathing suit but her imagination will have to do for now.

Lexa imagines how supple and soft her breasts would be; she imagines them having the pinkest nipples perched perfectly in the center. Her other hand grows bored around her neck and soon finds purchase upon her own breast. She squeezes herself while her more adventurous fingers find new depth. Lexa revels in the feeling. She wants to release all the tension she's been feeling and relax for once. As soon as she curls her fingers, she's already on edge.

Eager to climax she pinches her nipple and quickens her pace. She starts with a few slow-hard pumps making sure she has the right spot.

Yes.

That spot that sends sparks to her knees.

Once she feels the tingles intensify she thrusts her hips to meet her hand, spreading her legs for more control. She leans her forehead against the shower wall for support and uses her other hand to rub at her clit. Her arm is burning but she replays Clarke's words in her head to keep going, 'I think you're getting me all wet'. She remembers how she tasted and the way she sounds when kissed. Her forehead is the only thing holding her against the wall now; her breathing is rapid and she can feel the white-hot burn spread into each of her pores. The water has turned cold but she doesn't feel it because the heat building inside of her floods her senses. She's holding on to the tiny ball inside of her so tight she can feel it begin to burst. "Clarke" She exhales her name turning her head to rest her cheek against the wall. It's cool against her heated cheek.

Her orgasm hits her hard and all at once, spilling over almost too much to contain. She tries to fuck herself through it but she can barely move them anymore. Her other hand moves in jagged messy circles trying to catch every bit of potential from her orgasm.

Oh—myg—od… She pants.

Finally, she grows too sensitive to continue. Out of breath, she stands in post-orgasm clarity. She's reminded of why she doesn't do this often, she's left feeling unclean and confused. Lexa's relationship with sex has always been hard and she's never felt fully satisfied. She almost regrets indulging in herself but she refocuses her mind on getting ready.

/

4:10pm

"I mean women are beautiful creatures and the fact that some look better with make-up should not be an issue!" Jasper argues.

"Natural beauty is better looking than drawn on eyebrows and contour so dark that it looks like they played a little too hard at the playground. I like a natural woman, not one that takes to face painting as a mask to feel accepted." Harper retorts while putting foundation on Echo's face. She finds Echo's eyes and says; "Honey, you look good with just basic touches, don't play into these trends that tell you what beauty is."

Jasper scoffs, "You can't tell her what to do! Make-up is not some corporate campaign to create insecurities and sell the idea of beauty back to us Harper! Tribes and indigenous peoples have been using make-up for centuries because it's a part of culture. It can mean many things to a person, like strength, confidence, and resilience to the damaging nature of this earth."

He whips a brush in the air, "I mean my god; we are wilting every day because we're burning slowly from the inside. Oxygen is our enemy, not make-up! So don't tell me that the luxury of beauty is a waste. It certainly makes this planet better looking and more interesting to look at." Jasper has Anya in his seat looking mighty grim under his brush.

His palette is limited with her because she's a bodyguard and requires minimum work. So he puts light shades of contour under excellent cheekbones.

"Damn, I need your cheekbones at home to chisel some marble because girl! These things are weapons! Mmm love it… Love you!" He says into Anya's face as he bends down low to begin her eyeliner. "Close your eyes doll"

"I agree with Harper, the whole make-up craze that has girls drawing half their face on is borderline ridiculous. I mean I met a girl at a club once and she was gorgeous! Like in the dim light, I could see that. Took her home, had a decent night, and I woke up the next day to a completely different person!" Anya says trying not to move.

"So you date girls for their looks then?" Jasper jests.

"No…we were fucking, not dating. But I don't want to date chameleons either. I go in thinking I have Emilia Clark and I come out with fucking Chris Crocker. I just think it's beautiful to highlight what you have, not hide it behind the spoon-fed idea of what you should look like." Anya shrugs, satisfied in her answer.

Harper busts out laughing, "Yes! This girl gets it!"

"Hey! Not everyone is born with your symmetry," He points to Harper with his eyeliner brush, "And not everyone is born with your unfair bone structure, pretty girl" he points the eyeliner back to Anya before continuing his work. "These ideas and products are there for those who feel insecure in their everyday. It gives others around them the idea of beauty, and it may be spoon-fed or programmed, but now that girl feels pretty and is pretty. Because even though we are fed what fashion is or what beauty is, if the masses believe it then you can become it. For those who feel incapable of beauty, to them, this gives them that opportunity, you see?"

At this point Monty walks over with a well-clothed Costia; her swimsuit is midnight blue with a mesh outline allowing skin to show through, covered by acid wash jean shorts, a simple white shirt and a thin short-sleeve printed shawl. She is disinterested in the current conversation as she's deep into her phone, head pointed down with a smirk on her lips.

"Jasper is right but it's a double-edged sword, like everything else. The industry gives equal opportunity to look good by convincing everyone that they don't look good without this or that. By doing this, they sell products that encourage assimilation thus more money. However, it benefits us all because I like pretty things. It's easy to attack because everyone has his or her own preferences and when a trend is trending the taste is singular. But trends change constantly so it evens out." Monty directs Costia to a chair next to Anya. "Sit here babe, and Jas will be right with you."

"I get that, I'm in the industry myself for that particular reason but I think the trend has gone too far off the scale this time. I just can't wait for it to change." Harper relents but stands her ground.

"I'm with Harper" Anya chimes just as Jasper finishes her simple eye highlight. She opens her eyes to find Harper's wink waiting.

"Well, birds of a feather flock together," Jasper taps the chair for her to get up, "okay, you're done. Don't go too far, rehearsal starts at four and Finn is already butt hurt and behind." He winks.

Anya smiles toward the girl, nods at Jasper and heads out of the tent.

"Alright miss Villeneuve you're up buttercup. I can at least have a little fun with you." Jasper gleams.

"I'm all about the fun! Just make me look irresistible." Costia says while jumping in the still warm chair.

/

Clarke knows she should be in the beauty tent taking photos like Finn requested but she procrastinates a little longer with her vodka. It's helping.

"I just don't get it."

Raven cocks her head to the side, "What?"

"huh?" Clarke's thoughts snuck out and she didn't realize she had said anything.

"What don't you get?" Raven asks fully lubricated with liquid happiness. Clarke is not too far behind but she's always been like a reserve, she can hold her liquor.

"Oh, nothing." Clarke gets up and wipes at her sandy butt, "I should go, gotta document them getting ready."

Clarke chugs the rest of her bottle and tosses it into Raven's lap.

Raven pouts, "Awww do you have to?"

Nodding, "yeah I do… See you at the campfire?"

"But that's so far awayyy, "she whines.

Finn planned a campfire after rehearsal in order for everyone to find chemistry with one another. He encourages the actors to take every opportunity to get to know each other.

Clarke kisses her on the cheek, "You going to be okay until then?"

"Will you come and check on me?" Raven pleas, "Like from time to time in between?"

"Sure" she pinches her best friend's chin before setting off to the beauty tent.

Her walk is short but her thoughts linger on Lexa, thanks to the alcohol, they easily slip through her resilience. She worries that she drank too much but then she remembers that she doesn't give a fuck. So she embraces her lightened spirit, swings her camera around and checks her battery. She decides to just enjoy herself, focus on her work and come what may. With half charge, she steps into the entrance of the tent to adjust her settings for indoors.

"Clarke!" She hears her name by a familiar voice.

Looking up she sees Monty striding toward her and she smiles in return. "Where have you been my sun child?!" He asks, wrapping an inviting arm around her.

"Enjoying the day with Raven, how's it going in here?" She replies adoringly as he guides her further inside.

"Living the dream!" Monty delights, "See anything you like?" He gestures to the vast wardrobe in front of them, inviting her to peruse.

She stiffens before politely declining, "oh no, I… I'm not made for any of these."

"Nonsense!" He responds with disapproval, "You'd be gorgeous in a potato sack."

Lately, Monty has been in her life thanks to Raven and she's grown quite fond of him. He isn't someone you'd think to find in a lifetime, a very unique soul, and there isn't another one like him. She smiles as he sifts through different clothes, contemplating at each possible pair. He really is a joy to be around. Very rarely will he be in a poor mood and that kind of happiness is contagious. He's the kind of person who inspires others and a pleasure to observe.

"Here" he finally satisfies on two hangers, one being black jeans and the other a vintage grey cut-off T with a random eagle in the middle. "It kind of looks like a Griffin, don't you think?"

Clarke considers the outfit, "kinda…"

"Come on, change into this. It's getting late and you'll look good for the evening," he insists, placing the clothes over her camera. "Oh and this," he shoves a dingy faded-red cap into the pile. "Now go on, change" he pushes her toward the changing corner.

Too intoxicated to argue, she shakes her head at his direct pushiness. Her clothes are a bit damp from earlier and the sun will soon set so she hesitantly complies, inspecting each piece one by one.

Lexa takes a deep breath while stepping down from her trailer. She looks from side to side, mentally preparing herself for the day's demands. She feels off kilter and finds it harder than usual to get into the mindset. She doesn't feel like herself, almost out of body. It reminds her of her childhood. Sometimes, when she was younger, she swore she could astral project out of her body. She'd be lying in bed on the verge of sleep, eyes closed and she could feel herself leave her body. Lexa would tell her dad about her ability, how she could push her spirit beyond the physical realm and observe the world practically invisible, and he'd listen. Every time she pushed her limits, she would explain how far she got before pulling herself back. She wasn't sure how it all worked but it felt so real. He would tell her that her mind was special and that he believed her.

The older she got the better at it she became. But when her parents disappeared she stopped completely and wouldn't dare to try again. She had a fear that she'd get so lost that she wouldn't find her way back on time to see her parent's return.

She's still waiting.

She feels that familiar feeling bubble up inside of her like something is being awakened that's been lying dormant for years. She feels a separation inside of her, part controllable and part volatile and unpredictable.

"Bout time!" Anya immerges and startles Lexa back into the current.

"Fuck" Lexa mutters. All at once she comes tumbling back into herself. Her ankle bends too easily into the sand but she gives into the fall, landing on her knees.

"Haha, alright Bambi calm down." Anya chuckles reaching out a helping hand. "What has you so out of it? It took you ages, you're the last one that has to go through hair and make-up"

"Yup" she barely acknowledges the fact that she took her time and goes for nonchalance. It doesn't matter, just childhood nightmares she declares.

Anya decides to change the subject in hopes of lightening her mood, "Well then, you ready for phase two?"

"Phase two?" She asks lost before realizing what Anya means, "Oh… right."

She has more clarity since after her shower so she hesitates to follow through. It's probably not going to happen and she shouldn't get involved with anyone now that momentum in the project has increased.

"Um, I don't think it's a good idea to rush into anything. I have a show to focus on and Costia made a good point that we—

"Wait, Costia said what?" Anya interrupts. She knows all about Costia and Lexa's relationship. And to her displeasure, Lexa has been more than noble about it.

"Well if you'd let me finish!" She nudges into her, "she said that we should work on getting along because we'll be getting more than friendly on set… I have to start preparing for that chemistry. And I can't be distracted by someone who isn't a part of the project, it just wouldn't be conducive."

"Conducive?!" Anya scoffs, " You're telling me that you won't go after Clarke because it isn't conducive?"

Lexa nods, "to the project…" she confirms.

"Hmm." Anya considers, "Okay and what about what's conducive to you? Don't you think she's just manipulating you and that you're missing out on a great opportunity with Clarke?"

They walk side-by-side edging their way to the tent.

Lexa is confused by her passion on the subject but thinks about her words, "It is conducive to me. I need to focus now and this project is important to me. I don't want to risk my performance just because of the past. I know what I'm doing." She doesn't want to defend her decision because she needs to be grounded. Her focus is off, her thoughts are wild, and she needs to stick with what she knows.

"But—

"I don't expect you to understand but I need to stop getting distracted" Lexa interrupts.

Anya sighs, "I understand duty, more than you know, but I thought you were tired of doing what's expected of you. The other night you told me you don't feel like your own person, yet you keep falling into those expectations. Costia expects you to fall into her because of the script and everyone outside of this—" she waves her hands around the beach, "—wants you two together. I get giving the people what they want but what I don't get is giving up on the things you want."

Stopping just outside of the entrance Lexa listens to Anya's reasoning. " I don't know what I want Anya… I feel like I'm missing something but it's not so black and white. I can still do what I want while doing what they all expect of me, just in my own way."

Anya grimaces, "okay, well that sounds like shit."

Lexa tilts her head at her bluntness. "Well I—

"There you are! My shining star, here take a seat!" Jasper encourages half rushing because the time has gotten away from them and Finn isn't too happy. "Right next to your arm candy" He winks.

Costia sits properly with a glow of confidence. He really does a good job on hitting those natural tones while emphasizing her best features. It doesn't affect Lexa like it used to but she can't help but acknowledge her obvious beauty, which doesn't help her gay heart.

"Hey babe," Costia says with a smirk.

Lexa raises her brow in acknowledgement but doesn't say a word and takes a seat. Costia is already trying to fall into old patterns and she doesn't want it to be the same as before.

Jasper goes to work immediately and runs his fingers through Lexa's damp hair. She thinks about how she can nurture their on-screen chemistry without allowing much of it to exist off-screen. It's going to be much more difficult than she previously thought.

"At last! My nimble nubs have touched heaven on earth." Jasper coos, his fingers massaging her head with finesse and elegance.

Lexa leans into the feeling of another's touch. After a long day, she's worn out from the sun and surfing. The sun took enough energy from her that she could just fall asleep right here.

"So Lexa von Sexa, I was talking to Finn about your character and we're thinking about taking a few inches off-

"A few inches? Don't lie to the poor girl." At this point Monty makes his way over, grinning like a Cheshire. "Hey, before you get all made up lets get you in wardrobe" he whispers to Lexa.

Jasper jerks his head up, "But! I just got—

"Now now Jas, we talked about this." Monty sternly widens his eyes at him to shut up.

Jasper slowly takes his fingers out of her hair with disdain. "Fine! But hurry up because…" he taps his watch.

"Sure sure…Now, come my darling lets get you into something nice." Monty grabs Lexa by her shoulders and leads the way toward the racks of clothes with her name on it.

"Lets see…" Monty grins into himself before grabbing a cut off T, a button down and Bermuda shorts to shove into Lexa's unsuspecting hands. "Okay, you heard Jasper. Get changed and meet us back at the mirrors. Cheerio Dahling"

He politely shoves her to the dressing area and waits for her to take her own steps forward. Okay… She lightly chuckles.Monty flutters away decoratively excited.

Lexa inspects her outfit as she mindlessly walks toward the curtain and sweeps it open with one fluid motion. Her head is down, the curtain is wide open, and she does not realizing that it's already being used.

"Oh," Looking up, Lexa jumps at the sight of a pale plush stomach attached to now flailing arms. "OH! Shit! I—um!" She stutters, having been completely surprised.

Clarke startles at the intrusion, "Ah! Um! Occupied!" she muffles under her half stripped shirt. She hastily tries to shove the shirt back down but unfortunately, due to her innate clumsiness; her elbows get stuck in a conundrum of hidden sockets.

It takes Lexa too long to tear her eyes away because along with a soft stomach comes two plump guests adorned with a tiny pink bow jutting out in her face. And my god, they are perfect. The heat she feels has already made it's way from her toes into her cheeks.

Immediately energized, Lexa shakes herself out shock. "Shit fuck, Um I…" She quickly closes the curtain and turns her back as if to add even more privacy. "Sorry!" Lexa's heart beats so fast she can barely catch up.

Clarke curses under her breath hoping that it wasn't who she thinks it was. Oh dear baby jesus please no… She prays her shirt to give her a miracle but no matter how many circles she spins in, she can't get her elbow to come through. She idles for a minute thinking through all her options and with a deep breath she accepts her mortification. She builds enough courage to mutter, "Um… can you…" She thinks about asking her to get Monty for a split second but decides to ask Lexa, "Actually can you help me?"

Lexa swallows with a knitted brow, "help you?" Her mind races in all the possible ways in which Clarke would need her help. There are a few ways in which she would like to help her right now but she is fairly confident that's not what she has in mind.

Clarke huffs, "Yes, I…uh seem to be stuck…"

"Um…" Lexa barely responds. Slowly, she sets her clothes down on the makeshift floor. "Do you need me to open the curtain?" she wavers.

"Yes." Clarke pinches her eyes closes under her garment wanting nothing more than for this moment to be over.

Lexa takes a deep breath, "Okay… I'm going to open the curtain…" she grabs hold of the fabric and recites exactly what she's doing, "I'm now opening the curtain…" she slides it slowly open averting her gaze as best she can.

"Okay…" Clarke acknowledges. She would find her adorable if she weren't super embarrassed and half naked!

Lexa opens the curtain to reveal a willow tree of a girl; limbs slouched over and somehow tangled in a mess of cotton. The sight of her makes her giggle, it's so cute she can hardly keep the smile off her face.

"Awhaw…What happened?" She asks suppressing laughter.

"Are you laughing?!" Clarke asks incredulously.

Lexa straightens her face and clears her throat, "No not at all, I just…" Afraid she's upset the girl she adjusts, "What do you need me to do?"

Clarke harrumphs and tries to maneuver again without her help but it's futile, " I seem to have made a straight jacket out of my shirt…" Clarke pouts, "just…can you help?!" she asks with a flail of her arms.

"Of course." Lexa smiles, "On or off?"

Clarke thinks about it for a second and decides it best to have it off in fear of getting stuck again, "Off."

Lexa steps forward, "Okay, here we go." She tilts her chin upward to avoid seeing more skin than she's supposed to and proceeds to grab hold of the fabric.

"I'm going to touch you now."

She lightly places her fingers under the folds, grazing her knuckles against insanely soft skin, and pulls up slowly. The sheer amount of pleasure she gets radiating through her fingers to her elbows and into her stomach is surprising. Lexa looks up to the ceiling desperately trying to focus on anything other than her smell and the milky skin under her knuckles. She thinks she hears Clarke's breath hitch in sync with her own which causes her to pause in her efforts. God. She takes a deep calming breath before she continues.

Clarke feels her tiny hairs rise in response to the backs of Lexa's fingers gliding up her ribcage. She wishes Lexa would just rip it off like a Band-Aid because this slow pace is absolute torture. Being this close to her makes her subdued feelings intensify and she can't stand the thought of losing control. This infuriates Clarke at the same time it turns her on, so much. It's unmistakable, the pulsing feeling in her center, the heated burn of her ears and the shallow increase in her breath. She feels turned on and in this moment she realizes why people use that term. It feels like a switch has been flicked and all the lights and the sounds have been amplified, she feels awake. It's such a different feeling that she fights it every step of the way, not allowing it to be understood- only to be felt. She wonders if Lexa feels a fraction of any of this. Her self-doubt and current situation suddenly puts her ego down and she convinces herself that she couldn't and doesn't feel the same. To her she must be another girl pining over the infamous Lexa Woods. That's a stupid notion but she holds onto it in order to gain the self-control she wants.

Eventually, Lexa manages to pull the shirt up passed her betraying elbows but gets stuck on something else, which happens to be Clarke's chin. She looks down to see a perfect imprint of Clarke's face in the shirt's material, "You okay in there?"

"Just peachy…" she says flatly "take your time out there..."

"Maybe I'll just leave you in there then" Lexa replies playfully and releases her grip stepping a few feet away.

Clarke reacts instantly, "Wait! I'm kidding, please I have serious claustrophobia and I think— I can't—breathe—" her breath sounds laborious.

"Oh my god!" Lexa jumps into action, "I'm so sorry, I was just joking!" she manages to scoop up the fabric and lift it off of Clarke in milliseconds.

"Are you okay?!" her eyes widen with worry "here sit down, do you need anything?!" She places her hand on the blonde's back.

Clarke places her hand on her own chest and bends over trying to hold it together.

"Oh god" Lexa looks on in concern, her heartbeats erratically yelling 'Save her you fool!' She sees her struggling but she can't see her face. Clarke shifts her hands to her knees, dangling her head in-between. Her eyes involuntarily hover over the expanse of her back expanding and contracting; her skin looks smooth and so so soft—She lifts her hand off hot skin.

This is not the time! What should I do?! Fuck, should I get Monty...

Lexa looks around the curtain in hopes of catching someone's eye while her hand hovers inches above Clarke's back, not sure how to help. With no one around and the music in the tent too loud to yell, she crouches down to Clarke's level, "Hey it's okay just breathe slowly and…. Oh-my-god! You're laughing!" She steps back in horror, her hand retreating to her own chest.

Clarke lifts her head up and sure enough her cheeks are red, her breath is labored and she's fucking laughing.

"How dare you!" Lexa crosses her arms and sits back on her heels. "I thought you were choking or having a panic attack or something!" She feels almost betrayed—No, she thinks about it and she does feel betrayed—taken advantage of—completely duped!

Clarke manages to push her hair out of her face, "I'm sor—" She can't stop smiling, "I'm sorry… your face!" she covers her stomach with her arm to finish out a chuckle. "I couldn't resist, you were taking your sweet ass time and then you were going to just leave me in peril!"

Lexa scoffs, " No I wasn't…" desperately trying to hide her creeping smile. This light banter is nice and new.

"haha, sure…" Clarke laughs, slowly falling into the comfort of Lexa's company. "Well, serves you right for teasing me in the first place," she says putting her hands on her bare hips.

Lexa realizes at this exact moment that a half-naked, gloriously rosy-cheeked Clarke is toying with her. She's standing there with that perfect pink bow, flirting with her.

"Oh… well I…" A blush creeps from her neck down to her chest in immediate response. Her mind gives up full control to her beating heart and lays dormant in her cranium. Even if it had any thoughts, she wouldn't be able to hear them over the pounding in her ears. They stand awkwardly close to one another for stretching seconds before either of them react.

Clarke stiffens, all the sudden feeling particularly underdressed. She grabs the shirt off the hanger "Uh, thank you…" Clarke offers to the silence, "um..." she self-consciously covers her stomach with it and glances behind Lexa as if to see if anything is blocking her path.

Lexa stands dumbfounded, watching Clarke, gorgeously bashful in front of her- half fucking naked. For a split second, the thought of being the one that gets to see her fully naked crosses her mind. It excites her to no end and then she realizes that she really wants to be that person.

" So, I uh… should finish getting dressed?" Clarke asks, she can't deny that this feels like more than a moment but she is more than exposed right now. But something's happening and she can't explain it just yet. She likes it when it's happening but afterwards she scolds herself for being so susceptible.

"Oh!" Lexa steps back absolutely embarrassed in her absent mind, "yeah, sure. I'm sorry!" She stumbles back and manages to turn quickly on her heel.

Clarke smirks before pulling the curtain closed, "I'll be done in a second and then you can have it."

She stands behind the privacy of the curtain for a few seconds thinking about what just happened. A smile makes its way on both of the girls' faces. It was awkward but the way Lexa was looking at her made her feel really nice. Clarke remembers the sand dollar and eager to know more she probes the girl for answers.

"So, thank you for the sand dollar by the way…" she offers making quick work of the new shirt.

Busy wringing her hands, it takes Lexa a few second to notice she's being spoken to.

"Hm? Oh yeah, I just thought… you know that you'd maybe like it or something? It was kinda lame but whatever…" She mumbles crossing her arms despondently. She wasn't sure if it was something she should have done but at the time it seemed like a good idea.

Clarke giggles quietly, "Yeah, I did…but I was wondering why you thought to give it to me?"

Lexa thinks about it for a second because she can't really tell her that it was Anya's idea, which would be totally uncool. And she wants to be smooth about it but for the life of her that mojo has been out of stock since the elevator. For the life of her she can't think of anything clever to say…What happened to all her quick wit? – She has no fucking clue. Rubbing her neck she takes maybe too much time to respond to the question, so she just goes for truth.

"I don't know really, I just thought you'd might like something unique and beautiful because it reminded me of you." She says shyly.

Clarke opens the curtain, walks out to see Lexa's turned back. "Okay then" she says, causing Lexa to spin around. Her eyes involuntarily roam over the blonde's body, her lips part involuntarily and her breath shallows. Damn it.

Clarke grins with confidence and tilts her head, " you okay there?"

Lexa nods but stays silent.

"Well, it's all yours," she utters before strutting off, giving way more sway to her hips than necessary.

Lexa is left looking after her with a clenched jaw and a dwindling ego. It's better to stay quiet than to say something stupid but she beats herself up for not being smooth.

Something about Clarke really fucks her up and she can't explain it. Despite her need to focus on her performance, this girl is infiltrating her soul on a whole other level. There's an excitement every time she gets near, like life has a new hope and all the days have potential. It's inexplicable to Lexa and she thirsts for more with just the right provocation that Clarke provides.

-

Monty smirks as Clarke approaches from the back, his smile ear to ear.

"What?" she asks suspiciously.

"Oh nothing! You just look great, like I knew you would" he replies giving Jasper a quick glance before tossing an eye towards the back of the tent.

Costia glares from Clarke to the back area and then back to Monty. "I didn't know we had the budget to dress everyone…" She comments under her breath.

No one but Jasper heard her and in response he bumps her chair with his hip, "watch it muchacha…" he mutters with a forced smile. He adores Clarke and would rather upset a celebrity than accept that kind of slander. He likes Costia but Clarke is family and he doesn't stand for that shit.

Costia rolls her eyes and busies herself in her phone once again.

Monty sits Clarke down and works a fishtail braid in her hair before putting the hat on her head to complete the trendy outfit. "There, now you're ready to snap crackle and pop!" He snaps his fingers.

She looks sexy casual, "thanks Mon Mon."

Costia glances over her phone to glare at Clarke. She wants to say something to knock her down a peg but just as she is about to open her mouth, Finn walks in the tent with pure agitation.

"What the hell is taking so long?! The set is ready, the cameras are set and we are losing sunlight! Am I the only one who cares?! You!" He points to Costia, "I need you outside and where is Lexa?!"

"I'm right here" she says, walking out from changing, her old clothes in hand.

"What?" he looks from Jasper to Lexa, "Why isn't her hair and make-up done already?"

"Am I—Are you— I can't—" His hands do a weird point and wave thing in the air.

Finn pinches at his temples for a few moments and takes a deep breath, "Okay…can we get you in hair and make-up now and be outside in 20 minutes, please?! Oh thy kingdom come, I need a drink." He turns on his heel and heads out to find something with a bite before he does some biting himself.

Lexa purses her lips together with a shrug, "So I guess that's your cue," she says pointing finger guns toward Jasper.

"Come sit here and we'll get you all fixed up." He pats the chair.

"Now, where were we?" Jasper flexes his fingers and begins where he left off.

"So, how much did you say you were going to cut off? Because I've grown quite fond of the length," she questions.

"Oh just to maybe your shoulders?" Jasper asks, lifting her hair in the air before letting it fall.

"I…would rather you didn't," Lexa thought about it and she really doesn't want to cut her hair at all. "In fact, can we just trim it and find an up do that works?"

Jasper thinks for a second before nodding his head, "Well, it's your hair baby boo, what you want I do for you." He says with an Asian accent.

Clarke stands back in her new outfit taking pictures of the exchange, she even got a few candid shots of Finn losing his shit. Those will be great photos to feature on the website.

Costia gets up from her chair, now behind Jasper, watching him work on Lexa's hair. "I think you'd look sexy with your hair shorter, Lex," She adds, "Your fans agree with me."

Lexa looks at her in the mirror. With Anya's words ringing in her ear she shrugs her shoulders.

Costia steps close and places a hand on her shoulder, "You've had long hair since I've known you and it'll grow back. I swear, I'd make it worth your while…" She squeezes her trapezius with sexual innuendo, "Plus, Finn is probably already peeved at you so I'd consider it."

At her attempt of manipulation, blue eyes peer from behind a camera interested in Lexa's response. Clarke mentally gags at Costia for trying.

With a twitch of her lip, Lexa finds a well-lit fire to fuel her words. She wants her hair long and she doesn't care what anyone else wants, it's her body.

So with little to no filter Lexa responds, "Well Cos, I don't do what everyone tells me to do and I don't want to cut my hair, so either the show will go on with my hair like it is or it won't go at all… but I doubt a few inches will hinder production." She snaps back with more bite than she intends. What upsets her the most is the contradiction of her actions and her words. She's already trying to control her when they haven't even started. Costia makes it harder to reconcile and pretend. Thinking about today, Lexa wonders what scenes they'll practice and if this will come back to bite her in the ass.

Costia scoffs, "Don't shit on me Lexa. Maybe if you actually take your medication, you would stop taking things so seriously. And maybe next time you'd think twice before talking like that to me," she spouts and storms out of the tent in a huff mumbling idle threats under her breath.

Of course, Clarke gets all this in snap shots, a few of Costia's face when Lexa shoots her comments down, a few of Jasper and Monty's 'no she didn't' faces, and one of Lexa's defiance after completing her rebellious response. It was all gold and as she looks through her lens, she's reminded of her love for photography. It allows her to be present but practically unseen. She captures real moments and avoids the awkwardness in between. She lifts her camera up to her eye and captures the fall in Lexa's face.

Click.

And right after she captures her expression she hears Costia's words echo in her mind. Medication?

"Damn Lexa," Jasper giggles offering her a high five, which she ignores sprinting out of the tent after Costia.

Clarke stares on with a curious disposition, Lexa looked shocked and concerned at what Costia had said. She can't say that she isn't shocked either but something inside her hates Costia even more for upsetting her and saying those things in public. She feels an unwavering feeling to run after them but she walks to the opening of the tent to see Lexa grab Costia by the shoulder and lead her off toward the beach.

"Costia!"

"What?!" Costia twists away from Lexa's grip and tries to keep walking but Lexa steps in her way.

"Don't, I can't stand when you treat me like that!" Costia whines.

"How do you know about my medication?" She asks.

Costia scoffs again and turns away. Lexa hasn't told anyone about her medication, only Titus and her doctor knows about it. So the fact that she, of all people, has this information worries her. Who else knows?

When moments go by without a reply, Lexa changes her approach and steps in front of Costia to catch her eye. She places her hands softly on her shoulders bringing them eye-to-eye.

"Tell me Cos, how do you know about that?"

Costia shrugs her shoulders, "I don't know."

"You don't know... how do you not know, Costia? I haven't told anyone about that." She states increasing her grip.

"I just do Lexa! Things get out, people talk…"

For a split second Lexa notices an air of panic in Costia's voice but just as quickly as it appears it vanishes under a veil. Instead Costia steps into Lexa's space, puts a palm on her sternum, and speaks in a careful tone. "I care about you a lot and I'm here if you need to talk about it, you know?"

-

"Oy, that girl Costia is a real piece. She has a serious thirst for the lime light, did you hear just a few months ago she was seen with Bellamy Blake arguing, like a lover's quarrel they said." Monty comments, lighting up a cigarette.

"Who said that?" Jasper turns with interest.

After taking a puff he responds, "Grounder Magazine, where else would I get the dirty gossip?"

"Don't believe everything you read in those magazines, it's such trash!"

Monty stomps his foot, "You're the one who showed me that trash!"

"I know…" Jasper chuckles, " I didn't say it wasn't good trash."

"Well, so you know, there were multiple pictures, a-thank-you, and the article said they've been under wraps for like a year but no one can attest to it. It's speculation, sure, but pictures don't lie. Last month she was seen with that girl from that new improv theatre? So like she's always got something new going on."

Monty taps his cigarette, while Jasper looks on in confusion. He waves his hand in the air, "You know that theatre that's picked up so much hype, and well there's this lesbian who runs the whole shindig. She's been in t.v. before…?"

"Oh, Amber Heard?"

"What the— No…first off, Amber wouldn't be caught dead with the Villanuevas. They sided with Johnny, like hard. Second, she's out of her league."

"Whatever, Costia is hot as fuck, she can totally pull her off. I'll bet you on it" Jasper dignifies.

"In a vacuum tube of celebrities perhaps, but—anyway, completely off topic! What's that girls name?! It's totally bothering me…"

Clarke listens on as she looks through her camera at the two down the beach, wondering if they will resolve the tension between them. She takes a few photos but she stays attuned to their current conversation.

"Anna Paquin?"

"Now you're not even trying! Although they probably did have a thing when Costia guest-starred on True Blood." Monty contemplates.

"Kesha? Megan Fox? Cara Delevingne? Ellen Page?" Jasper lists counting with his fingers.

"Jasper! Now you're just listing off queer celebrities!"

"I'm trying to jog your memory—Caitlyn Jenner?!"

"Oh my god, you're redic—Caitlin! That's it!" Monty shouts excitedly.

"Now you're ridiculous, I was just joking! Wouldn't Caitlyn Jenner like men? I mean she is a complete Diva. But what do I know, I'm sure Costia and her would have some things in common…"

"No, Jasper…Jesus, focus! It's Caitlin Stasey. That girl from Australia…" Monty snaps his fingers, "She plays in that show Reign you used to watch!"

Jasper looks up in thought, "that brunette who was having an affair with King Henry!?"

"Yes!"

"ohhh shit, that's hot." Jasper nods in approval.

Clarke scoffs, that's definitely not hot and it turns out Costia gets around. It's not like she would put it passed her but this just adds to the acute dislike she has for the bitch. She hates referring to women as such but she just doesn't like her. Normally, she wouldn't mind so much but the fact that she hurt Lexa and had the chance to be with her and blew it, makes her sick.

"Yeah right…" Clarke mumbles.

Monty and Jasper turn their attention to her, "What was that honey?"

Lexa steps back shaking her head, "Everything about you is contradicting. I can't trust you; to put it plainly, I don't know you, I never did and I'm not sure I want to. There's no telling how you know things about me and what you plan to do with the information you have because you always do what's in your best interest."

Costia steps forward, "I won't use this against you… I'm not that heartless and I never lied about loving you."

As Lexa steps backwards, Costia steps forward creating a space-walk between them down the beach. "So you just lied about everything else then," she rhetorically asks.

"No, I didn't. This just gets complicated," she points between them, "we knew each other once and I think it will only help if we try to get to know each other again. I want to know you, and I like to think I still do…"

Lexa stops her retreat and looks beyond Costia to see Monty, Jasper and Clarke in front of the tent looking at them. Clarke's behind her camera per usual today, which evokes Lexa to shake her head for the fifth time in five minutes. Everyone assumes they know her and they can't be further from the true Lexa Woods.

Eager to end this conversation she precedes, "I get it. You want to make this project easier by getting along. I won't stop that from happening but just know it will not be as it was. Don't assume you know what's best for me."

She doesn't wait for her to reply before she walks away. Lexa leaves the situation before she says anything that could ruin their relationship completely. Ultimately, she's always monitoring her actions for the betterment of her career. Some days she wishes she could just do and say whatever the hell she wanted without worrying about the public. She compromises in this moment and about half way down the beach she stops to turn and adds, "And you don't know me Costia, you never have."

"Nothing" Clarke responds.

Monty steps toward her and puts a hand on her shoulder, "you don't agree?"

He looks out at Lexa walking up from down the beach, "you don't think she's hot?" nodding his head forward.

Clarkes looks up at him to see his line of sight and follows it.

"No. I—yeah but I don't, I don't have an opinion on the matter." She answers, refocusing her attention back on her camera.

"Oh but you do Clarke…" Monty slowly puts his cigarette in his mouth, "you do."

"Bet." Jasper concurs.

Clarke retreats back behind her camera mumbling under her breath, only to quickly drop it at Lexa's approach.

"Everything okay?" She asks on impulse, it's none of her business but she can't help but have concern for the girl. The look on her face after Costia's comment had a myriad of emotions. And before she can stop herself, she has already stepped forward and blurted out the question.

Lexa nods with a tiny smile just for her and turns to Jasper without slowing her stride, "Lets get to it, shall we?"

/

5:30pm

The sun guides the actors into the evening, eager to visit polar lands. Finn finally gets everyone through wardrobe and has tested out storyboard shots, lighting and transition.

With only a few moments of script in between technical adjustments and setup, the actors have a lot of free time to bond. Clarke takes photos of as much interaction as she can; other than conversing with Finn about creative aspects, she keeps to herself. Being used to lenses in their faces, the actors don't react to her so it's been easy.

"Alright! Let's get Alycia and Siobhan out here. We're ready for scene six!"

Clarke tenses when she hears Finn announce the next scene. She knows what scene six is. She knows that it's something she was hoping they wouldn't need to rehearse. Of course she was kidding herself, it's the anchor of the show. It's what will retain all the viewers they need in order to get picked up by a network. This is what people want to see; everyone except her.

She lets her camera dangle at her waist as she makes her way out of the crowd. The feeling in her stomach makes her upset and she can't stay for this. Everyone is gathered to watch and stand by just in case they're called on. She's frustrated, looking around for an escape; she finds comfort in the sight of Raven in the distance.

Lexa makes her way on set layered with surfboards, towels and strategically placed sand. This is the scene where she finishes up her first surf lesson with Siobhan. She searches for a familiar face in the crowd and finds her making her way out of the crowd. The whole day they've been stealing glances and smiles. Just having Clarke around gives her confidence and the energy she needs to stay focused. When she's around she doesn't feel so out of body, her heart evens out and she's calm. Watching her leave stirs the dormant anxiety in her belly. She can only guess as to what has got her retreating but she can't help it, this is her job. Her face falls at the idea that Clarke can't handle show business but the selfish side of her is marginally satisfied that this could bother her, which would mean she had feelings for her. Regretfully, she refocuses her attention to Costia who is now making her way to the middle of the set to join her.

"Hey…" she tries gently, approaching Lexa carefully.

"Hi." Lexa replies with reservation. She's trying to get into it but all the power to push through all the bullshit escaped with Clarke. It's usually easier than this, to fake it.

Their history puts a sour taste in her mouth and Lexa isn't sure it can be washed out. Usually she has time to build a rapport with her co-stars and form a tangible bond they can use on set. But everything she tries ends up bringing back bad memories.

"Lexa?" Costia steps into her space, engaging Lexa to look her in the eye.

"Hm?" She looks up.

"I want to try to be your friend, if you'll let me."

Lexa sighs dropping her arms at her sides. She knows she has to put things aside but the recent spikes in her emotions have made it harder.

Costia continues, "I'm sorry. I really am sorry for what I did. I hurt you and I didn't feel good about that. I never wanted to do that. I just wanted out. I…"

Costia shifts on her feet, "I didn't want to get too far and not have a way out. If that makes any sense, which I know it probably doesn't. But I really would like us to be okay." She dares to touch Lexa's arm in attempt to ground her.

Lexa feels combative, part of her yells from inside to protect herself. Allowing this girl anywhere near her heart again is not a good idea. But for the sake of the show, she must. She needs to pretend, more than she ever has before. She uses the paradigm notion that she can grow from this, get better as an actor, so she nods her head and pushes through her reservations.

"Yeah…me too."

-

Clarke makes her way out of the set, she doesn't care that Finn will probably jump down her throat, she needs to get out of there and the only thing she can think about is the alcohol awaiting her down the beach.

She takes one final look behind her only to regret it immediately. Lexa and Costia are embracing each other and the scene hasn't even begun. Clarke can't turn her head fast enough to escape the display. It bothers her more than she can comprehend; her blood boils in rebellion.

"Fuck" she curses at the sky.

Lexa decides to take a leap over her internal guardrail and hug Costia for closure.

"Thank you Lexa..." she whispers in Lexa's shoulder.

Costia slightly pulls back, "So you know for this scene we have to flirt pretty hard. And I was thinking about a playful banter, to where you give me a hard time at first but I warm you up to the idea of me. Like, you resist, which you're good at, and then you open up. How does that sound?"

As crew members set the scene around them, Monty and Jasper grab and pull at their wardrobe and touch up their make-up as they converse.

"I like that… Alycia has been hurt before and she isn't open to dating anyone but you aren't what she thinks. You take what she gives and you actually work hard and are willing to learn. So that alone gets me more interested than the flirting does, so how about after you get up a few times you can miss the board with one foot and fall into me?"

Monty gives Jasper a knowing look while he pins up Lexa's shorts to expose more skin and Jasper puts foundation powder on Costia.

"Yeah! And you can put your arms around me. We both should look at each other a little embarrassed but not quick to get out of each other."

"Take it slow, I'm not that easy," Lexa jokes.

"Well apparently you are because we kiss at the end of the scene," Costia argues.

Clarke is jealous.

She hates it but she realizes that is exactly what it is. Luckily, she can't see the scene play out from where she is. She made sure of that but she knows exactly what's going to happen. Finn had her draw up multiple zooms and angles. They settled on a wide angle that cuts to a close up of them kissing: a new, timid, yet intense first kiss. It's all she can think about and she can only blame her hands for drawing it in such detail for her brain to hold onto. But it won't be their first kiss; she knows they've kissed before, which leads to more kissing and other stuff and she can't stand it!

"You're so jealous."

Clarke swallows her vodka easily, "Shut it Reyes."

Raven laughs, "Come on, why aren't you over there? You should be like in the front lines making Lexa look at your face while she kisses Costia." She comments while attempting to get a glimpse on set.

"Why would I want to see that?" She responds, scrunching her face with distaste.

"Think of the bigger picture, Clarke. They have to do that scene. You don't know if Lexa wants to or not but you can make sure she sees you while doing it so she can't possibly ignore the thought of you; imagining doing that with you." Raven makes her point expressively with her hands.

"And isn't Finn wondering where you are?" She pauses for her to answer.

Clarke grumbles, "I'm sure that I'm the last thing on his mind."

The idea of them getting more involved during the show fuels the burn in her belly. Talking about it isn't helping and she struggles to stay composed. She tells herself to calm down and that it doesn't matter, it is what it is. She repeats existential mantras in her head in hopes of making this moment a mere hiccup in time.

"True." Raven comments, "They are the new hottest thing, a part two in to the drama of 2014. I'm afraid it's only going to get worse; they will spend a lot of time together during and after the show. They'll have interviews, photo shoots, and expectations from their agents."

Raven pretends to ignore Clarke fester as she continues because she knows exactly what she's doing, "I read into their relationship and the year they broke up was really hard on Lexa. She was humiliated and betrayed, so I can only imagine what being fucked over like that feels like. Reportedly, she wouldn't look at projects or she'd turn them down for months. I specifically remember reading the part when…"

"Can we talk about something else?" Clarke swallows the acid bubbling up in her throat. She knows of their breakup but never read into the details and now that she knows Lexa, more intimately, her involvement has quadrupled ten fold.

She cares.

"We don't have to talk at all…" Raven lets all that information permeate into her over protective heart. She takes a seat next to her best friend and they both sit in silence watching the sun change colors.

"Alright! That's good, now lets try it with a little more vulnerability. It seems as though you're too familiar with each other. I want to see timid. I want to see shyness, maybe a mishap, like you aren't quite sure where the other is going?" Finn demands from his director's chair.

They've been at it for an hour, stopping in between to get a better shot or different positioning. They're losing sunlight but it's perfect background for the kissing scene. Finn is changing the time line in the show to correspond to this scene aligning with the sunset.

"Again in five!" He tells the girls before turning to his camera director.

Most of the cast has dispersed into the R&R tent but a few have stayed to watch. The dusk gives the perfect glow to Lexa's eyes and Costia can't stop staring. They haven't kissed in ages and it feels too familiar to both of them.

"So… he wants less or more? I'm not sure." Costia nervously asks.

Lexa scratches the back of her head, "I think he wants us to not be so good at it," she says.

"That's not easy, your lips are so soft… it's hard to hold back," Costia gains a wind of confidence instigated by an hour of kissing. She puts her hand against her stomach and whispers, "maybe, if we reenact our first kiss we can nail this."

"I don't know about that," Lexa responds doubtfully.

Costia indeed feels familiar; it's hard to ignore the primal instinct to enjoy the feeling of being wanted. It's difficult to control the visceral reaction to a warm body pulling you close. Lexa reacts like a human to that but she knows it isn't what Finn is looking for. They end up falling into the same pattern as before, Costia demanding dominance in the kiss and taking what she wants. That's how it's always been and she hasn't changed.

"Maybe if you'd let me lead, the kiss would be less…I don't know, aggressive?" She offers.

Costia giggles in return, "aggressive?" Costia grabs Lexa and pulls her in flush. "This isn't aggressive. Remember our night at the Underground night club, when I couldn't wait—"

Lexa sardonically laughs, "Right, um okay" she manages to squirm out of Costia's grasp. "I think that you need to take it down a few notches Cos. This is supposed to be our first kiss, so please…" She swallows, "…lets just try a different approach."

Costia chortles but accepts the change in pace.

Lexa steels herself and focuses on the scene at hand, "Now, how about if I step into you this time and I slowly lean in like this."

Lexa positions herself a foot away and leans forward, "and then I can look at your lips, up to your eyes and then back down to your lips before doing this." She lifts her hand up to brush the back of her fingers against her cheek, effectively moving a piece of hair out of the way. "And then, I will lean in and hesitate just for a moment to make sure it's okay with you."

"Uh hmm, and then?" Costia whispers, centimeters away from Lexa's lips.

"Then you nod, just barely, and then I kiss you…" Lexa takes a deep breath and leans in to attach their lips.

Costia closes her eyes and waits.

But nothing comes.

Lexa pulls away just before contact, "I think that should do it."

"Why do I feel this way Ray?!" Clarke throws her empty bottle as far as she can but being plastic, it flutters helplessly before plopping at the edge of the tide. It catches in the wave and gets pulled in the ebb before it flows back toward them.

"Maybe because you're littering our precious earth!" Raven gets up and retrieves the bottle before it gets sucked into the ocean.

Clarke scoffs, "Ocean Smocean, Raven! This is not funny. I don't like people, I don't care!" She's convincing no one with this declaration.

Raven sniggers at her child like demeanor, "you're drunk Clarkey poo…" She pokes her in the stomach with her toe.

"Am so not! I'm fine, just fine. I'm not anything actually," she states matter of fact before crossing her arms. "See" she mutters, staying perfectly still like a statue.

Raven hits the bill of her hat, "Oh Stop…what's really upsetting you, Clarke?"

"I'm…" She hesitates adjusting her hat and doesn't see the harm in confessing, "She's kissing her and she doesn't deserve to do that. I don't know what I'm feeling but she's so wrong and what if they get back together?" Clarke huffs, "Lexa deserves better."

Raven has known her for a long time. Long enough to know that she's fighting against herself resiliently. She's the type of person that will get things done, not only in her own life, but in other's lives as well.

"So Clarkey, what are you going to do about it?" Raven stands with her hands on her hips in front of the sitting girl. "You going to pout over here and let her kiss your girl all up?"

Clarke looks up at her taunt, "She isn't mine!" She uncrosses her arms, "she's her own and no one elses." She states, nodding her head, confirming that it's the truest thing in the whole universe.

"Okay, she isn't yours. But don't you want her to be? You going to sit here and let Costia think she's got her? What if this is a make or break moment Clarke? What if you go over there and show your face and that alone makes Lexa see what she's missing. What if you go over there and ruin Costia's fun? Or not, what if you don't go over there and she thinks you don't care and she ends up with Costia again… DO you want that?"

Raven squats down eye level with Clarke, "You going to let her have it all Clarke? You want to sit idle your whole life and let it happen to you? Or are you going to take charge and say 'Hell no! You're in my world now, grandma!'" Raven pumps her up by raising her voice grabbing her arms as she speaks. "This is your time!-"

"Yeah..." Clarke nods.

"-and I'll be damned if you let that Hollywood tiddy take her without a fight. Now, are you going to sit here and pout? Or are you going to march over there, show your fearless face, look them in the eye, and smile like you don't care?! But we know that you really do…" Raven whispers the last part.

"Yeah!" Clarke shoots out of her seat ready to march her pretty little ass over there.

"Yes!" Raven claps.

"Okay! Here I go!" Clarke takes two steps but stops and turns around.

"What do I do again?!"

Raven laughs, "I'm coming with you. But just be you Clarke; don't run away from what's bothering you. Lets go face it head on together, hmm?"

"Yeah…yeah okay." Clarke turns with Raven's arm around her and marches toward set.

They approach the set and the sun is touching the horizon. Most of the crowd from earlier has dwindled save from the film crew and a few cast members. Clarke takes photos in efforts to hide her emotions. Being this close makes it all that harder but with Raven close behind her she stands her ground.

"So that was better!" Finn calls out. He gets out of his chair and walks over to Costia. "Can you try a little less tongue? Have you had a first kiss before that had that much tongue?"

"Well, yeah…" Costia replies looking at Lexa.

Clarke turns on her heel, "Okay, nope. Nuh uh." She's ready to sprint out of there but she runs straight into Raven's sturdy frame.

"Hold up. Stay, stay…" She tries to quietly soothe her but Clarke insists on trying to find a way around her. "Stay…shh, be strong Clarke. Clarke!" She sternly whispers.

"This is stupid!" Clarke tries to whisper back but her voice control is in direct correlation to her sobriety.

Raven looks around and luckily no one has noticed their interaction. "Just wait, it's almost over and then you can say you did it. You don't have to wonder about it, you'll have done it and faced it. So just face your demons! Like you told me to do." She turns Clarke around, "now how do you expect me to face mine, if you won't face yours…hmm?"

She's right and Clarke hates it. She reluctantly takes steps around a few people to get a front row seat to the fucking show. Raven is in step behind her, cutting off any possibility of escape.

Whoopdy-freakin-doo, she thinks to herself, her finger following suit with little twirls in the air. Everyone gather around for the kiss of the century, come on down! Her inside commentary give her laughter that surprises even herself. Sometimes she thinks she's the funniest. But as soon as she sees Costia put a piece of Lexa's hair behind her most adorable little ear, Clarke's face falls.

"fuck…" She breathes out quietly.

However, their squabble didn't go unnoticed. Lexa saw the whole thing.

"So, Costia… can we try that one more time. Let Lexa lead and just allow it to happen." Finn steps forward, "And Lexa, good job on your timid nature. I loved that you slowly asked for confirmation with your hesitation. Lets try it again!" He adjusts himself back into his chair.

Lexa keeps Clarke in her peripherals; she is in tuned with her arrival and can't focus on anything else. The mere presence of Clarke has changed everything. Her nerves are bubbling up, she can't seem to focus on the girl in front of her, and her palms are sweating. (And they never sweat)

"Action!"

Lexa shuts her eyes to change into character but as soon as she looks up she finds Clarke's bright blue eyes like magnets. Her cheek flushes red and her lips tighten. Lexa is caught up in this moment. All the sudden it feels like her first time on stage, dramatically caring what people think. What if she messes up? She doesn't want to look stupid in front of Clarke. But she also feels something else, a low buzz and rumble in her belly. It's burning and increases the longer Clarke stares at her. It scares her but at the same time it's exciting. A jumble of emotions flits through her.

Time is ticking by and she still hasn't made a move toward Costia. Finn said action and she's not moving. Part of her feels as though she's doing something wrong but another part of her feels like stepping past Costia and kissing Clarke in front of everyone. She quickly wishes this was Clarke in front of her instead of Costia…and then it hits her.

Pretend that It's Clarke.

"Lexa!" Costia ushers.

Lexa focuses on Costia for a split second but quickly looks over her shoulder back at Clarke. Like if she looks away too long she'd lose her in the crowd. She absorbs as much of her as she can for inspiration. Costia starts to turn around, annoyed that Lexa's attention is being taken, but before she can turn, Lexa steps into her and closes her eyes. "Shh…" She grabs a hold of her neck with her fingertips, pulling her forward. Lexa's eyes are closed but she can still see Clarke in the backs of her eyelids. She imagines that her hand grips at her soft neck instead of Costia's. She runs her thumb up her jaw to her chin, guiding her to tilt her head. Lexa parts her lips to breathe while using her other hand to pull at her waist, guiding her closer. She imagines Clarke's plush hips tapping against her own and how pliant they would be. With her eyes still closed, she thinks of how she smells and how she tastes. She transports herself back to the elevator and almost moans at the memory but she keeps it contained. Lexa tries to hold onto her image but she slowly loses to the wrong senses. Costia's perfume is drowning out her fantasy and the thought of Clarke watching is starting to stress her out. Ugh, focus Lexa…Think of Clarke and the way her lips feel against yours, how she sounds when pushed into, and the way she sounds. Think about how you'd kiss if given another chance.

Lexa takes a deep breath before touching her nose to her cheek. Sheslows things down and begins to skim her nose to her cheekbone before eskimo-grazing across her nose to the other side, teasing, asking for permission, inviting the possibility of more. It flirty and innocent, just like Finn wants. But it's also what Lexa wishes she could do to Clarke; it's all her kindness and feelings wrapped up into an embrace and caress.

Lexa's jaw line juts out toward the camera as she hesitates her parted lips above those in waiting.

She thinks of Clarke's lips and suddenly opens her eyes, needing the extra push to go through with it. She finds blue boring into her and the intensity of it sends shivers down her back.

She waits for approval—but not Costia's.

Clarke freezes, her jaw clenches, her eyes glue, and her fists clench. Everything inside of her jolts awake. She feels her body give off a thick energy and she sends it Lexa's way. Every time she gets close to her she feels it a little bit clearer and she comprehends it better. It's incremental but she notices the change.

Lexa's staring straight at her, a beautiful girl in her arms, and she's looking at her instead. She feels as though everyone can see this moment happen but she's too enraptured to look around and find out.

It's just her and Lexa, whether it's a second or an hour, it feels like forever and she wants to bask in it. She never wants this feeling to end.

As the electricity intensifies and her nerves get the best of her, Clarke has an urge to look away. But she doesn't, she pushes through the nerves and keeps eye contact. Suddenly sober, she holds on to her bones for dear life and she hopes Lexa can feel it too. She hopes that this out of body experience isn't one-sided, she hopes Lexa understands that she can feel her in every part of her being.

Inclined to acknowledge the moment, Clarke nods her head on impulse. This must've been what Lexa was waiting for because as soon as she delivers, Lexa captures Costia's lips in hers.

Clarke looks away.

This sucks, this really fucking sucks; this is a game. This feels like a sick twisted game and she's caught right in the center of it, like a small insect in the web of lies and deceit. She hates this, she hates the way she wants Lexa. She hates the way she feels it in all her being and she hates the way she can't control how much she loves it. She loves the chase, the nerves, the random make-out sessions, she loves it all and it drives her crazy.

The way Lexa looked at her just then was like a light getting turned on for the first time, absolutely illuminating. Clarke feels tingles run from her thighs to her head, her heart hits against her chest and in her ears.

Beep Beep

Beep Beep

She looks down to find her watch vibrating again, beeping at her, telling her it's time.

But, time for what?

"Cut! Wow, yes and more yes. That's what I'm looking for! That's the kiss that will get us on the map, that's what it's all about people!" Finn yells with his arms spread wide, welcoming the feeling of success. He knows this will send his show up to the top.

"Everyone that's it for the day! If I haven't spoken to you personally, I will see you at Trigeda during the next meeting! For those who are staying for the bonfire, I ask you to respect the beach and don't do anything stupid! Security will be here until midnight!"

Finn heads back to his trailer with his staff in tow to review the day's work, leaving the actors behind to begin the night.

Clarke looks at her watch and to her surprise it's almost glowing in the dark. It's never done this before. She taps it a few times as if its malfunction can be fixed with brute force.

Strange.

"Don't thank me all at once now."

She feels Raven bump her from behind. She taps the surface of her watch again before responding, "Thank you for what?" She asks distractedly.

"Oh ho, no no no no… I saw you two eye-fucking just now. I knew if you came over here something would happen!" Raven runs in place, "Eee! So tell me what you feel, what happened?!" She questions, wiggling her eyebrows; her plan had worked!

"Nothing happened! Raven, look at this…" She redirects.

Clarke shoves her wrist in her face, "Do you see that?"

Raven grabs Clarke's arm and inspects the watch with as much intrigue as you'd suspect from her. She twists her arm almost too much causing some pain but Clarke hangs in there.

"Did you fix it? How is it working? It doesn't run on battery or solar, so what did you do?" She looks it over and under, completely eager to find out what changed.

Clarke pries her arm free from inspection and looks down at her watch, "I don't know! It just started working today. I… maybe it is solar powered and it finally kicked in today?"

"But you've been out in the sun so many times wearing that thing, it doesn't make sense and there aren't solar capable panels on that thing. But I can't be sure because you won't ever let me touch it!" Raven argues.

"Well…will you take a look at it when we get home?"

"Are you serious?!" Raven gawks, "I promise, I will be so careful!"

"yeah, be careful…" Clarke pleas, "maybe it'll give me some answers to why my dad spent so much time with it for it to never work."

"Until now!" Raven adds.

9:45pm

The bon fire is thriving; the piled driftwood and wooden pallets from set burn a bright red as the flames reach for the night sky. The ambient glow makes for a perfect night on the beach. A tapped keg and a few solo cups later, everyone's buzzing about the progress of the show and there is little to no worry in the minds of these sprightful souls. It's the beginning of something great and they can all feel it pushing under their feet, lifting them up to new heights. The tents are still up but all equipment and crew have long gone, leaving the elite L.A. youth behind to bask in their young glory.

Clarke stands off to the side with Fox and Echo and it's the first time all day she doesn't have Lexa on her mind. In fact, she's avoided Lexa since the kissing scene and it's been surprisingly easy because she hasn't been around. She decides to focus on having a good time. Raven stuck by her before being lured away by Anya. Clarke wasn't sure that's all about but she encourages it. She finds herself with good company sitting on this log, perfectly content.

"So do you think this show will get picked up by a network?" Fox asks out loud. She's a girl Clarke knows nothing about but finds that she's easy to like. With her caring nature, Fox makes hanging out fun and lighthearted.

"I'm pretty damn confident that we will. We have all the elements to go on for at least four seasons… I mean there is nothing out there like this show. We have young and queer characters, depth, adventure and action. What else can the people want?"

"True, and the fact that Lexa and Costia are scripted to be together, it should cause a lot publicity and momentum for us." Fox adds.

Clarke sips the last of her drink. That's her cue to bail from this conversation and get a refill. "I need a refill, you guys want one?"

They both nod their heads with a smile, "thanks Clarke!"

She smiles in return, "sure!"

Clarke lets the cup fall at her side while she walks toward the keg. She passes Nathan, John and Maya trying to outdo each other in headstands, Ontari and Costia stand together while convincing Zoe of something she doesn't believe, and she sees Anya and Raven next to the fire talking casually. It's a nice atmosphere out here with everyone getting on. She's thankful that Costia is occupied by something other than Lexa's mouth and feels a sense of relief that they aren't off somewhere studying future scenes.

As she scans the groups, she still doesn't spot Lexa and she begins to worry. She tries to look around without being obvious but she is nowhere to be seen. For now, Clarke reaches the keg and refills her cup along with two more. It took some balancing but she manages to get all three in her grip. Her eyes focus on not spilling the golden liquid, determined to deliver full beers to her newfound friends. Step by step she walks carefully, treading bumpy sand.

"Need some help?"

Clarke looks up and finds Octavia's eager eyes.

"Oh um…I think I got it…" but as she declares it, her foot digs too deep in the sand causing her to stumble forward. But Octavia's quick reflexes catch the beer in peril, saving the sand from stupor.

"Got it!" Octavia says.

Clarke delivers a tight-lipped response, " thanks."

"Do you think we can talk?" she asks, nerves clear in her voice.

They walk side by side beyond the bon fire before Clarke responds, luckily Raven hadn't noticed. Clarke slows her walk as they take solace beyond the ridge of the glow.

"I don't know what we'd say, we aren't friends. You've made that clear" She injects.

Clarke is decently lubricated but it doesn't blur her judgment, it just obliterates her filter.

Octavia knew this was coming. Not only did she hurt Raven, she hurt Clarke too.

"I know and I want to say that I'm sorry." Octavia turns to face her, dipping her head, "I hate that I hurt you and I want you to know that it wasn't easy. I didn't mean to grow so attached to you guys."

Clarke has an urge to scoff and cross her arms but she's burdened by beer, so she takes a sip of one instead.

"What did you expect? That we wouldn't? I thought we were friends, but I guess the whole time you were trying not to be."

Octavia glances in the distance toward Raven, she sees her laugh and the thought that she's happy now makes her smile. She turns and walks further out of sight. Clarke rolls her eyes and follows.

"Say what you need to say O" Clarke presses.

"Look I know it doesn't make sense but I care so much about you both that I did what I thought was best. I can only make amends now but trust me that I hated myself as much as you both probably do. My family—

"So tell me this," Clarke interrupts, "you were with Lincoln the whole time you were with Raven. How can that be what's best? How can you play with Raven's heart like that, leave and come to me and say that you thought it was for the best." Clarke can't hold back her protective nature; it comes out all at once. "You weren't there to pick up the pieces that you left behind. I was there every night holding what you broke. She's better off without you and the fact that you came back here trying to make yourself feel better is just so shitty. You aren't apologizing to us because you're sorry; you're trying to heal your pain by getting to say your piece—

"No, Clarke… you don't understand—

"Then what?" Clarke looks over to Echo and Fox, wishing she could just escape and be care free with them again. She brings herself to look at Octavia and waits for her to finish so she can go.

"I wasn't with him until the end, I mean…" She takes a deep breath, Clarke is intimidating as hell, "… I wasn't with him the whole time. I loved her. There's so much more I want to tell you but it's not—I can't…"

Clarke widens her eyes and shakes her head; "If you can't say it then what do you want from me? My forgiveness?"

Octavia looks at her with lost eyes. Maybe that is what she's seeking but mostly she wants to explain. She struggles doing what's right but she can't bring herself to say anything worthwhile.

"Well you can't have it because I don't forgive you and I doubt Raven will either. So stop trying to apologize and be professional. I've got to go." She steps around the apologizing girl and utters, "Goodbye O."

Clarke walks out of the uncomfortable situation and into the light of the fire; warmth greets her cheeks with welcome and she can breathe freely again. Octavia extends the beer in her hands to give it back but it's offered to a retreating back.

She leaves Octavia in the dark of the night and feels a faint tinge of guilt but she can't forgive Octavia. At least not right now, something is off about the whole thing and her gut tells her to find out.

"There you are!" Echo exclaims.

"Yeah, sorry I got—

"I was talking to the beer," Echo laughs grabbing a cup out of her hand.

"Hey!" Clarke smiles.

"Where's mine?" Fox asks eyeing the only beer left in her hand.

"Oh…" Clarke looks behind her, "I… here." She hands Fox her beer and decides she doesn't need one.

"Thanks Clarke!"

She smiles with a nod, "of course."

"So we were talking about significant others in the industry and how they rarely last. That's why cast members tend to date one another, the schedule is the same and we spend so much time together it's sort of inevitable…" Echo takes a sip of her beer, "So you have one?" She asks, eager for some juicy story.

Clarke sighs because she can't catch a break. "Um, no I don't have one of those. Do you?"

"On my last project I dated my assistant but it ended poorly" Fox comments.

"She was nice! I liked her…" Echo chimes.

"You had a crush on her! Of course you thought she was nice."

"Yeah but I was seeing Ben at the time so it's not like it was a thing. I just liked her smile, it was nice."

"She was nice."

"You're nice!"

"Nice!"

They tease each other back and forth. Clarke listens in but she can't relate. She hasn't been in the industry that long and frankly she isn't attracted to a lot of people, so she has little to no experience with relationships. Even when she found herself interested she rarely did anything about it, hence the choice of the single life.

"How long have you two known each other?" She interrupts their flirtatious slap fight to ask. It was obvious they've known each other for a while and it was also obvious they harbored feelings for one another.

"What would you say Echo? Like four years?" Fox asks, drinking the rest of her beer.

"Damn girl! You in a hurry? You have a hump where you store that liquid?" Echo laughs searching for said hump. Turning her around she slaps her ass, "there it is!"

"AH! You bitch!" Fox retaliates by snatching Echo's beer out of her hand and chugging that one too.

"Hey! That was mine!"

"Well I've got to feed this hump of mine" Fox slaps her own ass tauntingly. They fall into each other in laughter.

It's adorable to witness, they're so light hearted and cute, Clarke admires them but can't help feel left out. She doesn't have a drink nor does she have someone to distract her in this moment, her mind drifts to Lexa. Their questions leave her feeling like she's been missing out; perhaps she's closed herself off too much. The fact that she's been focused on herself doesn't evoke regret but the fact that she's limited her friendships and overall relationships because of fear puts a little doubt in her heart. Raven's been telling her to let people in and the more she observes and thinks about it, the more she's willing to listen.

Unsure of what to do with herself, Clarke looks around and takes a deep breath. She remembers to enjoy the moment and relish inside of it. She's lucky to be alive at this time, to enjoy a campfire on a beach, with actors and free thinkers. It's a beautiful scene to behold yet she's missing something. She leaves Echo and Fox's company unnoticed and decides to take a stroll in the moonlit tide. In contrast to the day, the breeze whistles cold tunes against her skin. It's not unlike her to seek solitude; she loves to reflect and be influenced by her own heartbeat, beating at its own pace. Welcoming the cool water on her feet and the blue-lit background of the sky, she makes her way North.

11:00pm

After an hour Clarke finds herself knocking on a metal door. She isn't sure what she's doing but she can't help it, she feels compelled. She waits a few minutes and thinks that maybe she didn't knock hard enough. Turning around, she can see the bon fire, crackling thin but still giving life and she wonders if she should knock again. Clarke found herself wandering over here when her feet had their fill of the sea. She focuses on breathing and looks up at the stars. They shine bright despite the city behind her and in their resilience she finds hers. She turns back around, knocks with more gusto, and again she receives no answer.

Disappointed, she walks down the steps with a mixture of relief and disappointment tucked away in her gut.

"Oh well…" she sighs; it's not like she knew what she'd say anyway. She just knows she doesn't like missing her. With heavy feet she accepts how tonight has gone and decides to head home.

"Looking for someone?"

The smile is instantaneous on her face. She gathers herself before turning around. She finds Lexa leaning off the roof of her trailer, her hair adorably tied up into a bun. For some reason the sight of it makes her giggle.

"Oh just a star…" she answers with mirth, looking up into the sky.

Lexa follows the blonde's gaze and grins into the moon.

"Well, you've come to the right place" she says before retreating out of sight.

Clarke inches forward not keen on losing sight of her. For a moment she thinks she's intruding but she won't give up that easily, not yet. She walks to the side of the trailer looking for a way up.

"Coming up?" Lexa calls out.

The blonde looks up but doesn't see her, "hell yeah I'm coming up" she says under her breath. Determined to join her she finds a ladder attached to the back and makes her way up. Nerves wrack her core but she damps it down with mustered confidence. Clarke psyches herself up by whispering reassuring outcomes. It's just a trailer and you're climbing onto it to meet a girl, no big deal. Just to look at the stars and talk. And if you don't know what to say then that's okay, worst comes to worst you come across mysterious. Yeah, it's just a roof with Lexa. It'll be fine.

Clarke's head peers over the edge of the roof to find Lexa laying on her back with her hands behind her head. She doesn't move when Clarke makes her way next to her and she doesn't turn her head when Clarke trips over herself. She's secretly grateful that Lexa didn't look over because if she had, she's sure the sand would have made a great bed for her head. It gives her enough time to compose herself and get situated. Clarke thinks maybe she gave her that courtesy and likes her even more for it.

She manages to mirror the silent girl and lie on her back, giving her a panoramic view of the constellated sky. It's peaceful and suddenly she feels completely aligned with the world. Clarke releases a contented breath and puts her hands on her stomach enjoying the silence that falls upon them.

Lexa turns her head after many moments of enjoying each other's company. She takes in the pallor of Clarke's skin under the mirror of the moon. It always seems to give glow to the most beautiful qualities of things and with Clarke her whole body shines bright.

"So did you find it?" she asks quietly.

Clarke closes her eyes for a quick second, saying her goodbye to the world she created in the silence, and turns to say hello to the universe staring back at her. She takes Lexa's face in, noticing every curve and jut of bone, committing her to memory. Lexa waits patiently looking back at her with the same curiosity.

"Find what?" Clarke finally asks.

"The star you were looking for" Lexa shifts her body to better pay attention to her potential answer.

Clarke tracks her eyes over Lexa's nose and her lips and states, "I think so." She keeps Lexa's gaze for a beat before turning her head back toward the vastness.

Lexa stays staring completely covered in a dopey smile. This girl is in constant bloom and she can't wait to see what the seasons bring. The air around them is light tonight, cool in contrast from their previous encounters. Lexa figures that perhaps the dust has settled and they can finally get a gauge of one another. Reaching into her pocket she fishes out a flask and silently she stretches it out in offering.

Clarke turns at the crisp sensation of steel against her arm. The gleam in Lexa's eye makes her take it gladly, like a peace offering between them; it'd be rude if she refused. Sitting up, she uncaps the mystery liquid and tilts it back without question. She thinks it can't be that bad, whatever it is, but oh, was she completely wrong. It burns bridges and cities all down her throat like Nagasaki.

She chokes as soon as she takes an overzealous swig, it's completely unbecoming and she begs it to stop. Her throat burns and her eyes begin to water. She mentally reaches into the sky for god to pull her out of her body because this is the end. The only good that comes of this coughing episode is the quickness in which Lexa responds. She scoots to Clarke's side in seconds, rubs her back, and asks if she's all right.

"Clarke, are you okay?"

Clarke isn't sure why she took such a big gulp; she questions her decision-making and curses under her breath as she coughs her throat raw.

Swallowing the last of the burn, she manages to get a hold of herself after an eternity in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you…" Lexa amusingly soothes.

Clarke nods clearing her throat. "No, it's okay. I was, uh, surprised is all," her raspy voice barely emits. The taste in her mouth is unlike anything she's ever tasted; it smells familiar but slightly grotesque in odor. Her confusion is evident; mentally she nods a tribute to petrol, for it tastes better than this shit.

"Peat whiskey" Lexa offers, patting her back a few more times. They sit side-by-side and knee-to-knee with Clarke's shoulder slotted under her outstretched arm. With a bright moon and shining stars, Lexa hopes it lasts longer than a moment because this feels perfect. She snickers inside at Clarke's reaction; she knew it would be distinct because the taste and smell isn't for everyone. She wanted to offer something special to Clarke and this is all she had. After working with Costia on set, she felt like getting away to think and this was the furthest she could go without leaving the set all together. Part of her hoped Clarke would find her, it was a long shot but she couldn't help fantasize about it and the fact that it happened and is happening, she's celebrating inside. Cheers to Jesus!

Clarke unconsciously leans into Lexa's body heat, it's getting colder now and the comfort of her proximity is welcome. Still clearing her throat, she closes the lid to the flask and asks, "What's peat whiskey?"

She looks up at Lexa and finds her looking right back. It's too close and too intense to handle for Clarke, so she quickly looks back at the flask, nervously twisting it in her hands. They're so close she's on sensory overload. She can feel the heat coming from her body, she can smell the ocean mixed with Lexa's distinct scent, she can see the flecks of green in her eye and the freckle on her lip she never noticed before. She takes comfort under the bill of her hat hoping to stay sane. She desperately wants to look at her because she can't get enough when she does. God, she's so nervous, she grips at the flask in desperation.

Green-eyes crinkle at her observations, seeing her this close is so pure. Completely enamored, she could watch Clarke all night but she interrupts her own reverie by softly responding, "it's basically a smoke-rich whiskey made with decayed earth."

It's not everyone's taste; in fact, it took her awhile to stomach the stuff. She admires Clarke's reaction, it's endearing and she can't help but adore her. Her nerves take the back seat and her eagerness to know the girl drives her. She stays calm and absorbs everything she can.

She has her this close; she can't screw up now.

In response, Clarke swallows, "decay… Like dead things?!" She looks at the flask in bewilderment and then to Lexa. "Why?"

Lexa laughs, "Why what?"

Clarke smiles at the sound, "why would you choose to drink this?" She inspects the steel keeper of dead things and notices three letters etched on the side, A.K.V.

Clarke runs her fingers over them with intrigue, she knows that this must be a keepsake. She has one herself and this thing looks old. Moments of silence go by before anyone speaks. Clarke is afraid to ask what the letters mean and she isn't one to pry in people's lives unless they offer. As she runs her fingers over the flask, she's reminded of her father. She has a feeling this is important to Lexa and it's something special that she's sharing with her. Smiling, she builds the courage to look up and appreciate this moment.

Lexa catches her blue eyes and they settle into each other's view, a foot apart but close in comfort. She settles her arm around Clarke's shoulder, squeezing a smile from her. They give each other a moment to travel each other's faces, finding crinkles from smiles and freckles from the sun.

When Lexa can't look anywhere but her lips she makes herself speak, "This particular whiskey is…was my dad's and it's made with five-thousand-year-old vegetation from a Scottish bog his grandfather used to live by."

"It's basically the earth's ashes…" Clarke chimes.

Lexa nods, "I have the last barrel and it's been aging for over 50 years now."

"I just drank history," blue eyes beam.

Lexa chuckles from her gut, Clarke following in suit. What a little nugget Clarke is, an underappreciated gem amongst thieves. Lexa looks at her and shakes her head.

Unbelievably adorable.

She can't believe this girl exists. Everything about her leaves her wanting.

"You're so cute" she says between grinning teeth.

Clarke swallows the rest of her laugh from the way Lexa's looking at her, her eyes dart from her eyes to her lips. They freeze in time and inch forward within an eternity. Clarke's heart is the only indicator that this is real because it's as if the breeze doesn't blow and the moon is shining only for them, everything else doesn't exist. Her breathing becomes heavy and she isn't sure how she will survive this. With history on her lips she hopes this war doesn't break her. She wants to let Lexa in, she's tired of fighting it, and she wants to kiss her.

So she tries to lean in, she's so close she can feel her breath on her chin.

But just as her eyes flicker closed, her watch goes off!

Beep Beep

Beep Beep

It glows a bright turquoise between them releasing an electric hum up Clarke's arm. She immediately tries to shut it off and regain the moment. "Fuck" she curses at its timing! She jerks her head down and pushes every buttons he can to shut it up.

"Shit!" Lexa exclaims in pain at nearly the exact same time. The bill of Clarke's hat clips Lexa's lip leaving her wounded, pride and all. She retracts her arm and flinches away in shock. This is not the feeling she expected to feel. Lexa sucks her lip into her mouth tasting iron.

"Oh my gosh, I… oh man, are you okay?!" Clarke lifts her hands up to Lexa's cheeks in dire concern. "I didn't mean to, aw let me see…" She encourages Lexa to release her lip for her to inspect. The look of cute betrayal masks Lexa's face and Clarke swipes at her brow to release it. "Let me look…" Clarke whispers.

Lexa licks her lips before letting Clarke have her way, "It's okay; I'm fine." This is not exactly how she hoped things would go. She struggles to find a way to salvage the moment they lost.

"I'll be the judge of that," Clarke softly says with closer inspection.

Lexa lets her look because this allows her to do some inspecting of her own. Concerned-Clarke does weird things to her insides and she can't help but want to hug her for it. She barely knows her yet she cares so much. Throughout her life, she's never been tended to in this way. It was always through professional Latex and reassuring words, where she received all of her comfort. Even in past relationships she wouldn't allow tenderness like this. She never felt comfortable with it and frankly she didn't need it. But now, looking into blue eyes, she'd take herself to court on that old notion.

It's everything she didn't know she needed.

After being inspected by the best doctor she's ever known Lexa removes Clarke's hat, "here, how about we do this…" she turns it backwards and securely replaces it, "…there."

With her hands still around Lexa's face and her forearms resting on her shoulders, Clarke gleams. Her thumbs rub comforting stripes up Lexa's cheeks before she remembers her duty to assess the damage. If it was bleeding it's only pink now but Clarke feels like it needs reassurance. She stares at Lexa's lip for a good minute before she looks back into those eyes patiently looking back.

In a low whisper she says, "And…how about we do this…" Clarke leans in, closes her eyes and delivers the gentlest kiss she can muster onto Lexa's bottom lip—right on the mark.

Staying close, she releases it and whispers, "better?"

Lexa's eyes are closed and she doesn't speak. Clarke drags a thumb over her swollen lip and waits. She isn't in a hurry because she has everything she wants in the palms of her hands. Finally, Lexa shakes her head back and forth pointing at her top lip, "it hurts here too…"

Clarke doesn't have enough cheek to hold the smile she makes. "Oh yeah?" she chuckles.

Lexa's eyes are still closed and Clarke can't help but take advantage of it to explore her face again. She has wonderfully high cheekbones that slope into a lovable nose and her lips, despite Clarke's efforts, are perfect.

Lexa crinkles her nose at having to wait and Clarke again at her antics. She lowers one hand to Lexa's neck while the other drops to her leg and leans in to deliver another delicate kiss but Lexa reacts this time and captures her by surprise. Clarke gasps as she feels Lexa attach to her lips.

Woah.

It's unlike their other kisses; full of heat and unknown passion, this kiss is soft and sweet, full of tenderness and wonder. She feels Lexa's arms wrap around her to pull her close, and she gives in, gently pulling at her neck in return. They give in to each other, allowing their hands to clench and unclench at the sheer power of it all. They allow the walls they've been building for years slowly fall, allowing a warm growth to spread through their veins. It's similar to the feeling of home but it's not so rudimentary. The feeling runs deeper within them, empowering their choices of each other. It reassures them with every breath they exchange, every move they make toward one another.

Clarke makes a soft noise as the angle shifts, receiving their first mutual series of kisses. This fills her with so much joy she smiles in the middle of it all. It only lasts a second because Lexa nudges her with her nose and whines like a child at the lack of cooperation. Clarke giggles and happily returns to the task at hand.

The night is no longer cold as they drop their guard and wordlessly vow to protect each other. It's unspoken but they deliver reassurances in every touch. While lost in a dream of hope and new beginnings, the bright glowing watch goes unnoticed. However, it, even in its inanimateness, knows not to beep again.