ANARCHIAM IN PACE / Anarchy in peace
Disclaimer: These characters are the creative property by the writers of The Vampire Diaries and CW. No copyright infringement is intended. Only the plot belongs to me.
Author: TLC
Rating: PG/ High Teen
Word count: 738
Prompt: "Where are my clothes?"(AU, where the Mystic falls gang is at peace with the Mikaelsons.)
Bonnie woke up to a dry-mouth and the mother of all headaches, one so painful she considered using a spell to make it go away. The thought of getting up to pee, knock back a bottle of water, and take a few Tylenol passed in her mind but quickly vetoed anything that required getting out of bed. She was perfectly comfy here. Actually, where is here? But the idea of actually lifting her head, prompted her to essentially and literally say – "fuck it."
Instead, she rolled over, groaning, eager to bury her face in her pillow and catch a few more hours sleep. Only something crunched under her when she moved; more than one something. Frowning, she cracked an eye open and tossed her blanket back, only to find her bed littered with various versions of the animal crackers.
"What the fuck…?" she muttered in confusion.
"Problem, love?"
Bonnie didn't even flinch; Kol popped up at random so often that it was no longer a surprise, especially after he barely registers her threats of bodily harm of castration. She was starting to think Kol had made a habit of popping out of fuck who knows where since he was bored, lonely or had finally got sick of his family. Bonnie's best guess was the latter.
Blinking blearily at the vampire, Bonnie asked, "Why are there animal crackers all over my bed?" as she dusted them out of her way and to the floor. So, she would be vacuuming as soon as her head stopped throbbing.
"You decided you wanted to name them and keep them as pets," Kol told her simply, lifting his mug of coffee (well she hoped it was coffee) and taking a long sip, an eyebrow raised, full of silent mocking. "My favourite was the monkey, "Jack". You told us Barbossa had already been eaten by the blonde bus boy and you had already saved "Nala & Simba" that casualties were expected. It was… a riveting tale."
With a huff, Bonnie fell back to her bed. "Asshole. Please tell me there is no evidence of my apparent delusions."
Kol chuckled before jumping next to her side on the bed, her head 'thumped' with the tousle. "A short, but extremely entertaining clip which has conveniently been deleted from Damon Salvatore's electronic device."
"Oh thank god…" Bonnie sang out loud. It took her a moment to catch up to an dangerously important fact that she was only wearing panties. How did she miss that? "Kol?"
"Yes darling? Are you going to ask what I would consider payments of gratitude because I do have a number of amazing ideas." He leered with a dirty – filthy – grin.
Remembering to hold the sheet up around her chest, Bonnie sat up and glared at the grinning vampire, "I'm going to ask you this only once, and if I don't like the answer, your ass will be up in flames before she get the chance to say "witch." Where are my clothes?."
With his usual cocky attitude, Kol cleared his throat as if he was going to tell a story of his own, "Well after saving the animal crackers from Donovan you took to threaten anyone who came near your "babies" they would be sent to the gallows, I've got to say I'm seeing a theme here." At the frightening stillness of her gaze, he continued, "I then generously offered to help you guard your cracker children which you took to let's go find an empty room, then tossed them onto the bed. At that time you began is sing, "Hakuna Matata" but without Timon or Pumba it wasn't the same then tried to conjure them by dancing in your underwear since we couldn't find a grass skirt."
"Oh sweet Jesus. Wait, wait what about my bra?"
"A payment for my services."
Bonnie rolled over to bury her face in her pillow, face hot and palms clammy. Never again. Turning back over, she glanced at an amused Kol, "I'm going to kill you - you know that right?"
"Good thing, I'm a vampire. No need for the embarrassment darling, you have very beautiful breasts. Very memorable."
Asshole.
Credit to hours dedicated to learning her craft, Bonnie need only mumble one word to light Kol up. With a smug look she watched as he jumped up and patted his clothes.
Bonnie didn't hesitate to fall right back to sleep, animal crackers be damn.
