Bail had made excuses to the Senate for Padme's abrupt exit from the meeting and procured five weeks of leave for her. She had, Bail claimed, undergone an intensive medical procedure and would need the time to rest.

If the definition of rest was trying to quiet two screaming babies alone in the very early hours of countless mornings, then Padme had certainly gotten lots of rest. Once, out of desperation, she had even activated Threepio and laid one of the children in his arms. She had received little help from him, just high-pitched, panicked protests that he was not a nanny droid and that he was programmed for protocol, not babysitting. He was fluent in over three million forms of communication, but he didn't speak baby.

Anakin had returned from his mission and snuck over to her house a few times to stay the night, but very little of that time had been spent snuggling in bed. One morning, when Anakin had been suspiciously late for a briefing at the Temple, Obi-Wan had come to Padme's apartments in search of him. He had found him slumped on the ground against the sofa, his head tipped back against the cushions at a sharp angle and his mouth hanging open as he snored softly. Leia had dozed off in his arms, and on the sofa, Luke was snuggled up against his mother's chest. One of Padme's hands rested protectively on the baby's back, and the other hung limply over the edge of the sofa.

All in all, when Obi-Wan appeared at her door at nine in the morning, a little over one month after the twins' birth, she considered it a victory that she was already dressed and wearing her hair in a long braid.

"Obi-Wan, I wasn't expecting you," she said with a smile. "But this is perfect timing. The twins just fell asleep, and thank the Force for that. Although I'm sure they would have loved to see you."

Padme, and Anakin, when he was with them, had both tried to get Obi-Wan involved with the children. At first, he hadn't been any more comfortable than Threepio and had stood just as stiffly when Luke was placed in his arms. Over time, though, a look of contentment had begun to grow on his face when the baby was snuggled in the crook of his arms while he and Padme meditated. For Padme, it was a comforting daydream that one day her children would sit beside her and join them as they explored the nature of the Force together. As a family, because that's what they were: Her, Luke, Leia, and Obi-Wan. The only one missing from their circle was Anakin, and she tried not to think about that. Once he became Darth Vader, a name she had heard in her latest vision, he would still be absent. She certainly did not intend to allow him to kill her, to make the empty seat be hers.

Obi Wan's lips had twitched ever so slightly upwards at the thought of the twins, but his eyes remained solemn. "I'm afraid I'm not here for your training, Padme. I need to speak to you."

She nodded. "Then please, come in and be seated."

They walked to the living room, and Obi-Wan lowered himself to the sofa. Padme seated herself beside him and waited, but he didn't seem eager to speak. She tried to engage him by chatting about the twins (Luke was rapidly regaining the weight he had lost, and Leia had a new stuffed animal from the Organas that she would happily stare at all day), but he replied to her attempts with only vague murmurs. Usually, she could see his interest in her stories about the twins, although Obi-Wan attempted to hide it for the sake of that cursed Jedi rule about no attachments, but today she could tell that his thoughts were truly elsewhere.

She finally gave up and asked bluntly, "Obi-Wan, what is this all about?"

Obi-Wan shifted in his seat, although his sober gaze didn't move from her face. "I consulted Master Yoda about the nature of Force Visions. He said that the events of the visions may not occur in real life and that changing your course of action because of them can be a dangerous thing. It could even cause them to happen."

"What are you saying?"

He took a deep breath. "Padme, I fear I can no longer continue your training based on something that may or may not happen. Especially without the knowledge or approval of the Council. If you wish to speak to them, however, I will certainly do what I can to help you."

Her heart sank. She knew what Anakin was capable of, even if no one did. In her visions, she had seen him murder, and lie, and steal what he had no right to take, whether it was her children, information, or lives. She knew that Darth Vader would have the desire to, and she knew he had the ability with a lightsaber and the Force to take whatever he wanted from almost everyone. Even from her. Especially from her. Padme had a lightsaber in her drawer- bought from a smuggler who had probably salvaged it from a dead Jedi after a conflict like the Battle of Geonosis— and she had practiced with it frequently, letting the Force guide her hand. But without more training, Anakin would have about as much difficulty disarming a youngling as defeating her.

"You know I can't speak to the Council!" she protested aloud, although she had a bad feeling that nothing wouldn't change Obi Wan's mind. "Anakin will hear of it."

"Why do you fear him, Padme?" Obi-Wan asked softly. "I have seen the love he has for you, he is strong in the Force, and if not perfect, he has always been loyal to us and you. Everything seems to indicate a different future than your vision."

"You are just unwilling to consider that Anakin might turn to the Dark Side!" Padme stood up and strode away from the sofa, needing to stretch her tense muscles. The hard knots in her back only tightened further.

"Well, I must admit I have had my reservations. He is a good man, Padme."

"Did you ever believe my visions? Obi-Wan, did you ever plan on training me fully in the ways of the Force?" She glanced at his face and read the answer. "You didn't! You were just patronizing me with a few Jedi tricks to make me feel better as if I were a child! No wonder you didn't press me about speaking to the Council!"

"Padme, listen to me." Obi-Wan rose and placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. "I couldn't stand to see you so worried. I had to do something."

"You could start by believing me!"

"I could either believe your visions or believe in my best friend and former padawan, Padme. I didn't want to choose between you, and what I have done was the best compromise that I could see." He sighed, his blue-grey eyes remorseful as they stared into hers. "I just didn't want to hurt you."

"You don't have to, not if you train me. Why can't you, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan rubbed his forehead, avoiding her eyes. "I have sensed fear in you, Padme. And anger. The Force is a powerful ally, especially in someone with natural talent like yours. In your zeal, I don't want Anakin to be hurt—

"Hurt Anakin? What about what he's going to do to hurt me, my children, the galaxy?"

His hand gently squeezed her shoulder, and his eyes were kind, his tone soothing. "Anakin hasn't turned, Padme. That future may never come to be."

"Not if you train me," she whispered. "I won't stand by and watch as Luke and Leia suffer and die."

"Padme," Obi-Wan replied softly. "I don't believe that will happen. Anakin has his flaws, but despite the Jedi code, I cannot believe that his love is one of them. It is what grounds him in the Light— the knowledge of how you, and Luke, and Leia would be hurt."

"I understand," she lied, her voice slipping into the toneless drone she remembered from her days as queen. It was the voice that revealed nothing, that showed she was retreating behind a veil either to give up or formulate a plan to fight back. As much as she wanted to do the latter, it seemed her only choice might be the former. And she hated it. "I suppose, then, that there is nothing further to be said." She turned away from Obi-Wan, surrounding herself with an almost tangible air of intimidation that she had practiced as royalty only on politicians and unruly suitors.

Although the Jedi hesitated, recognizing her motion as a clear dismissal, his boots didn't budge. "Padme…"

She brought a hand up to massage her throbbing head and found her temples were pulsing under her fingers. Long years of practice allowed her words to come out evenly, although more coldly than she had intended. "If you're not going to train me any longer, I see no reason for you to visit here anymore." Realizing how they had sounded, she exhaled a remorseful puff of air, hoping he would just leave before her mask of control slipped away. "I need some time to think. Please, just go."

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment, then she heard his footsteps. "Goodbye, Padme." The tramp of his boots paused as he reached the door. Softly, he said, "I'm sorry, truly I am."

As the door closed behind him, Padme slumped to the floor. The apartment faded in front of her eyes, replaced with the tall buildings of Coruscant sprouting up around her like overgrown metal flowers. In the center of them grew the Jedi Temple, but the Force that swirled around the building was reeking of danger. And walking up the steps, wearing a dark hood over his face and glancing around furtively, was Anakin. He was carrying her babies.

It was gone in a flash, replaced by a red lightsaber. Towering in a huge black suit with his face concealed by a mask, the monster with Anakin's Force presence sliced off the hand of a sandy-haired boy. The boy backed up onto the catwalk, and the monster in black stretched out its own mechanical limb. Padme thought he would choke the boy, but it wasn't a murder- It was an appeal.

"I am your father!" the person behind the mask hissed. Abruptly, Padme knew who the boy was.

"Luke!" she screamed. Her head hit something solid with a thunk, jerking her out of her vision. Breathing hard, Padme rubbed the bump that was forming on her head and pushed herself away from the windowsill she had just banged it on.

Her husband chose that minute to walk in. "Padme!" he exclaimed, rushing over to her and dropping to his knees. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Anakin," she said.

He ignored her protests, reaching out to touch her arm and help her up. She couldn't help flinching as his fingers brushed against her wrist.

He noticed and stared at her, looking simultaneously hurt, confused, and worried. "Padme, something's wrong, isn't it?"

"It's nothing, Anakin."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" she yelped in frustration.

"Please don't lie to me, Padme." Anakin gently gripped her shoulders and studied her face. "I need to know you're okay, angel. You have to tell me what's wrong!"

"I don't have to tell you anything!" Padme snapped, wrenching her shoulder away from his hand. "My thoughts are my own. I'm your wife, not your slave, Anakin!"

She clambered to her feet and strode to the window, but not before she saw the look of hurt that flashed over Anakin's face. For a moment, it pierced her, but the sting quickly evaporated. She could feel the tension vibrating through her body with just as much energy as the speeders that zipped by outside. His rapid footsteps grew closer behind her.

"How dare you accuse me of that?" he asked, his voice rising. "You saw Tatooine, the junk shop! And compared to my other owners, Watto pampered me. Do you honestly think I'm like him, Padme? Or Gardulla? Force, Padme, do you see me as a Hutt who bets away human lives as if they were property? I have done nothing to you to deserve that!"

"It's not what you've done," Padme said, panting, as she whirled around to face him. "It's what you will do!"

"What I will do? How do you know what I will do, Padme? How can you judge me for mistakes I haven't even made yet?" He stepped closer, hand outstretched, and Padme flinched away. The hand that would close around her throat to choke her, a hand that would hold the lightsaber that would slide through her son's wrist…

His eyes immediately softened, although the pain in them didn't. "Padme," he breathed. "Angel, do you think I would hit you?"

She didn't speak; The tear that slipped down her cheek was answer enough. Oh, if only she just feared he would hit her, instead of taking over the galaxy, dismembering her children, turning his back on all they had ever believed in...

The next moment she was engulfed in two warm, strong arms, and Anakin's cheek was resting against her head. She held herself stiffly for a moment, then allowed her body to melt into his embrace. She rested her forehead on his chest, closing her eyes and feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under his tunic. Force, it felt so good to just let herself be held.

"I would never want to hurt you. I love you, angel," Anakin murmured against her hair.

"I love you, too," she said. And stars above, Force visions or not, it was true. She wanted to trust him, wanted to be confident that he would never betray her…but how could she, after she had seen what he was capable of? She loved Anakin, but she hated the man in her visions. Oh, she knew it wasn't an emotion a proper Jedi should feel, even for an enemy, but she couldn't help the bitterness, the rage that rose in her when she thought of the man who would so callously destroy her life and the lives of her children. And a little bit of Darth Vader had always lurked in Anakin— Anakin's impatience, his anger— and somehow, it was becoming harder and harder for her to separate Anakin from what he would become. What was Anakin and what was Darth Vader had mingled in her mind, confusing her love and hate in ways she couldn't untangle or understand. It was easier to simply focus on the love she had that was pure, untainted- the bond between her and her children- instead of trying to resolve her feelings toward her husband.

"Padme." Anakin's voice interrupted her thoughts, his arms tightening slightly around her waist. "The Council wants to send me on another mission. I'm not allowed to tell you too much, but they need a Jedi to help restore order to a recently surrendered Separatist world."

"And they chose you again?" Padme asked with a sigh.

"Chancellor Palpatine himself requested me," Anakin said, his head nodding against her hair. "But, Padme, I'm not going. Not when you need me here."

"You would defy the Council?" She drew back so she could see his face. She didn't know why she was surprised- it wasn't like Anakin hadn't flouted the commands of the Council multiple times, the greatest of which was probably their marriage- but somehow she hadn't expected this. Anakin's love tended to be primarily shown through his words, not always his actions.

"For you, Padme, I would," Anakin said. "And I will."

"No," Padme replied firmly, releasing her grip on fistfuls of his tunic. "You must do as the Council dictates. Many lives could be lost if peace is not established in this conflict, and that is so much more important than either of us."

"Padme, I care about a resolution to this war as much as you do, but something's wrong here. I don't want to leave you alone."

"I'll be fine, Anakin. With the bickering in the Senate and staying up with the twins, I'm just stressed." And not the least because I almost have a heart attack every time you step in the door, and I see the sunlight shining on your eyes. Or when I feel chills when you touch me, knowing that one day they will be the fingers of a monster. And knowing there's nothing I can do to prevent it- that's the worst of all. As much as she wanted Anakin home, having him there made her, Padme Amidala, scared. Few things in the galaxy made her feel helpless, but her husband's fate was one of them.

"Please, Anakin," she said, reaching up to touch his cheeks and pull his head down so she could look him in the eye. "If you take this mission, it will be for the best."

He breathed a resigned sigh and pulled her back into his warm embrace. "Best for the galaxy, or best for you?"

"For both," Padme whispered into his tunic. As she had intended, he didn't hear her.

O0o

Padme didn't fall asleep until the early hours of the morning. The day's events still tumbled in her mind, the cycle of her thoughts broken only by the twins' distraught wails. They seemed to sense their mother's distress in the Force and responded to it in the only way they could, which, unfortunately for Padme and her need to sleep, was crying. Reaching out to the Force to try to calm herself and them, it felt as if she had run smack into a brick wall. She caught herself longing for Anakin: With a lullaby and a mental snuggle through the Force, he had always been able to quiet the twins.

Cradling Leia in her arms, she began to rock back and forth on her feet and hum a soft lullaby from Naboo. It was one her parents had sung to her during her childhood, one about moonlight, sleep, a parent's arms, and safety. Her voice wavered; It was a lie, all of it. There was nothing she could do to protect her children, nothing! Anakin would turn to the Dark side, he would kill her, and then he would hunt Luke and Leia. And she would be able to do what? Mediate the whole affair away, or perhaps levitate a stone to trip Anakin? Padme clenched her teeth, holding in a growl of frustration at her helplessness. The Force was suddenly, invitingly there, and involuntarily she touched it, her frustration flowing through her fingertips.

Across the room, her coffee table shuddered as if it had been kicked, and the small statue on top toppled over. The pictures on the wall shivered, and Padme glanced at them in shock; She wasn't even calm enough to focus and use the Force to comfort a newborn child, so how had she began able to do that? The Force had not absorbed her frustration: It had used it.

Leia abruptly quieted in her arms, staring up at her with wide eyes that looked almost shocked. Once she had fallen asleep again, Padme fell into bed again and buried her face in the covers. She laid there alone with her thoughts and perversely wished the twins were still awake. Wandering over to their crib, she watched her beautiful children sleep, their chests rising evenly up and down inside their sleepers and their tiny fingers intertwined. No matter how much she needed a snuggle, she wasn't about to disturb their precious slumber. The bond between them was a precious thing to see.

But it made Padme feel even more alone, so alone.

When she dragged herself out of bed the next morning, Padme pulled on some clothes, twisted her hair up into a simple bun, and left the twins in Threepio's care. She needed to speak to someone who would listen, who would believe her, and who had the power to help. And the only one left for her who fit that description was the Supreme Chancellor.

She felt a nudge in the Force, and she took her lightsaber with her.