I do not own any of Marvel's characters. But it's ok, because I'm not getting money from them either.
Chapter 8: My Fair Lady
Jarvis directed Loki to what he referred to as "The Media Room" when she asked the empty air for Natasha's location. After a few minutes of wandering, with politely phrased directions from the butler AI, she found it. On the left hand wall was an impressive array of screens in various sizes. They were all currently turned off. Opposite them was a semi-circle of low, overstuffed couches. They were modular, and one section had been turned to face the others.
On the larger curve sat Natasha and Pepper, chatting away animatedly. As soon as Loki entered the room, Pepper jumped up. "Loki!" she said, doing an admirable job of hiding any awkwardness. "Come, have a seat. How was your meeting with Dr. Bryardie?"
"Enlightening." Loki flopped down on the shorter couch opposite them, dropping the book beside her and reaching down to rub an ankle. How did Midgardian women walk in these things all day?
Natasha and Pepper exchanged a telling look. "Clothes or posture first?" Pepper asked.
"Clothes, definitely. Posture will take longer." Natasha replied.
Loki frowned. "What's wrong with my clothes?" she asked.
"Nothing, in theory," Natasha said pleasantly. "The outfit is good, if you're going for skanky secretary." To her credit, there wasn't an ounce of sarcasm in her voice.
Pepper nodded. "Yes, it does look like something you would have worn when we first met."
Natasha laughed. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"
Pepper took a sip of her water. "Nope."
She turned back to Loki, "However, you can't sit like that in it, especially since I'm pretty sure you're not wearing anything underneath it."
Loki tried sitting up with her knees pressed together, as both Natasha and Pepper were. "And what, pray tell, am I supposedto be wearing underneath of it?"
Pepper and Natasha exchanged another look. "Ok, you win," Pepper fished a bill from the interior pocket of her blazer and handed it over to Natasha with an incredulous look.
"What's that all about?" Loki eyed the exchange warily.
"I made a bet with Pepper that Asgardians don't wear underwear." She tossed a magazine to Loki, who caught it and began looking through it. It was mostly populated by women wearing very skimpy outfits. "Most humans wear these things under their clothes."
Loki looked closer at one of the pictures. "Why? They don't look very comfortable."
Natasha and Pepper both laughed at that. "It's true," Pepper admitted, "Some of them aren't. But our culture believes it's more hygienic, essentially."
Loki shrugged, and selecting a black lacy ensemble, magicked it on under her clothes. She squirmed a little, getting used to the sensation. "How did you know Asgardians don't wear these?" she asked.
"Well, Thor doesn't, and he doesn't seem the type to deviate from the norm-"
"Wait, how do you know that Thor doesn't?" she asked suspiciously.
Natasha smiled slyly. "I can tell just by looking. I can tell a lot of things about a man just by watching him for a short time. It's part of my specific skill set."
Loki frowned a little. "Like what?"
Pepper was pretending not to listen in, flipping through the stack of magazines they had brought.
Natasha leaned back into the couch. "Oh, you know. I can tell how self-confident he is by the way he moves, if he's hiding something, what kind of girl he'd like, how he would be in bed, that sort of thing."
She raised a doubting eyebrow. "You can tell what a man would be like in bed, just by looking at him?"
Natasha crossed her arms. "I can."
"Prove it."
"Fine, pick a guy."
Loki glanced at Pepper. "Tony Stark. That way she can tell us if you're wrong."
"You're assuming I haven't had more than a look at Tony."
"No, because if you had, she wouldn't be friends with you," she gestured to Pepper.
Pepper gave Natasha a 'she has a point' look and shrugged. "I don't kiss and tell, but I can certainly say if you're hot or cold."
Natasha smiled. Tony would be easy, as she had had the most time to study him. "At first glance, you might think he'd be as self-absorbed in bed as he is everywhere else. But he's very results-oriented and doesn't have the best self-esteem in the world, so I would guess that he'd put a decent effort into making sure the lucky girl had a good time too."
Pepper smiled, "Well I certainly can't complain."
Loki looked at them both, still not completely convinced.
Natasha was just a little insulted. She was good at this and she knew it. "Alright then, let's pick something closer to home then. You."
"Me?" Loki squeaked.
"Yes, you. Before the change. Assuming, of course, that you had experience..."
"Yes." Loki blushed angrily.
"Well, my first guess would be that you were a textbook sadist."
Loki gave her a blank stare, the word meant nothing to her.
"Someone who derives pleasure from causing pain in others," Natasha elaborated.
Loki blushed deeper and sunk into the couch a little.
Natasha was on a roll. "But you had worse self-value issues than Tony, so if your unfortunate partner didn't respond in a way that you liked, you would get even angrier at her. Not a good mix."
Loki looked away, unwilling to admit how accurate Natasha was.
Pepper cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Well, let's change the subject, shall we?"
"What about Thor?" Loki asked quietly, ignoring Pepper's request.
Natasha smiled. "Actually, I'm curious what you think about that."
"Wait what?" Pepper asked confused, "why are we talking about Thor?"
"It's complicated," Natasha dismissed quickly, gesturing for Loki to go on.
Loki glanced embarrassed at Pepper and swallowed. "Well... He is a very powerful warrior, and I thought that would be... reflected... in his..." she trailed off at Pepper's appalled expression.
"So your preferences have taken a 180?" Natasha guessed.
Loki nodded, wondering if her face could get any redder.
Pepper looked from Loki to Natasha. "Why are we not talking her out of this?" she demanded.
"I'm about to. Unfortunately, Loki, your assessment is way off. Thor may have a tough exterior, but inside that he's a hell of a softy. If he were human, he'd be one of those roses, dinner-and-a-movie, long walks on the beach and a chaste kiss goodnight kind of guy."
Loki sighed heavily. "He never was much of one for conquest."
Natasha tilted her head. "Conquest?"
"On Asgard, there are two ways a man can go about pursuing a woman. He can court her-seek her hand in marriage with poetry, brave deeds, and so on. Or he can seek to make her his conquest, a much more... short-term arrangement. And usually not one for high-bred ladies."
"That's not terribly different from how it's done here, the lines are just a little more blurred. Anyway, as I was saying, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if Thor hadn't even gotten to third base with Miss Foster, but if and when he does, my guess is that he would be the tender, compassionate kind of lover. Not at all what you're looking for."
Loki stared at Natasha's shoes, too embarrassed to ask what 'third base' meant. She had forgotten about Jane. That might pose a real problem...
"Can we please change the subject?" Pepper asked. "I have something way less awkward I want to share."
Loki gestured for her to continue, not wanting to pursue the topic any longer anyway.
"This," Pepper pulled out a slim white object about the size of a magazine, "Is for you."
Loki took it from her. It was lighter than she expected it to be, and Natasha had an impressed look on her face. "What is it?"
Pepper blinked for a moment, and then reached out to take it back. "It's a laptop computer," she explained, opening it up. She spent a few moments explaining how it worked, and Loki endured them silently. Of course she knew how to run a computer, that much she remembered from the many people she had controlled. She just hadn't recognized that was a computer.
"It runs on an ambient charger, which you don't need to bring with you here, the whole place is charged from the arc reactor. We'll give you a wireless charger to use at home." She opened a browser, and flipped through the bookmarks. "This is primarily for you to use for researching your restoration work, but I took the liberty of putting in some good fashion sites, too. Everything you do will be monitored, though, so don't go looking up any porn, or Tony will never let you live it down," she said laughing.
"What's porn?" Loki asked.
Natasha and Pepper stared at her. "Jarvis, go ahead and install a safe-search moderator on Loki's computer, please," Pepper said, handing the laptop back.
"That would seem most prudent, Miss Potts," Jarvis chimed in.
There was an awkward moment where no one spoke. Loki swallowed and charged ahead. "Why are you doing this?" she asked the question that had been bothering her. "I mean, Agent Romanov explained to me why she wanted to help, but why you?"
Pepper shrugged. "I trust Natasha, she is a very good judge of character, and so if she says you're worth it, you are."
Loki stared at her. "And?"
Pepper laughed. "And obviously I'm a sucker for people with serious issues trying to turn themselves around."
Loki tilted her head.
"Tony," Natasha explained. "He may seem like the all-American hero now, but his past is rather... checkered. That's how we met, actually. SHIELD saw him as a threat, so I was assigned to keep tabs on him."
Loki frowned. "Is that what you are doing now?" she asked. "Keeping a close watch on me, because I'm a threat?" there was more hurt than venom in her voice, but the two other women stared back uncomfortably.
Natasha decided that in this instance, honesty was the best policy. "In an official capacity, yes. But I do want to help you, too."
Pepper sighed, looking at the stack of magazines. "Maybe this is a bit much to dump on you all at once. But if you have any questions..."
Loki picked up the book Dr. Bryardie had given her, staring at it with trepidation. "Allow me to read this first. Then I will probably know better which questions to ask."
"That's a good idea," Pepper smiled. "In the meantime, Tony has extended an invitation for you to join his 'culture sessions' with Steve."
"Culture sessions?"
"Steve missed a lot while he was frozen for 70 years, and Tony seems to think that the best way to bring him up to speed is to make him watch every movie that was made in that time," Natasha explained, an amused and vaguely sarcastic expression crossing her face.
Loki smiled a little. "I've never seen a movie," she admitted.
"Well that settles it!" Pepper grinned and stood up.
Loki gathered her book, magazines, and laptop into her arms.
"Here," Natasha took the stack from her. "I'll drop these off at your apartment so the boys won't give you a hard time about it."
"Thank you," Loki said quietly. "I shall see you later then." And with that, she headed for the elevator.
Natasha and Pepper looked at each other for a moment. "I think this may be more complicated than we thought," Pepper said warily. "She seems so defensive..."
"Well," Natasha stared at the door through which Loki had gone, "that's still Loki in there, and even if she's a new person, she's got a helluva lot of baggage to start off with."
Pepper nodded and sighed.
A/N: I am doing this story for NaNoWriMo, so I shall continue posting two chapters every Saturday because I should build up a hell of a buffer. Hope you enjoy!
