When Nothing Goes as Planned
Week 21
Emily walked through the door to her apartment with a loud sigh. She was so tired. Their last case was still fresh on her mind and she had kind of hoped they would have gotten a new one by now, so she could concentrate on something else, because Emily had spent the whole week doing paper work and that left her with a lot of time to think. She had not heard anything from Simone or her parents since Emily and the team had left Seattle, the same day as she and Hotch had visit the young girl. She had spoken once with Detective Keenan and he had told her that Simone was still in the hospital, but that was now three days ago.
Emily dropped her bag on the floor as she looked through the stack of mail in her hand. Bills, a post card from her mother - looked like she was in Spain now - a letter from the bank and then Emily saw something she was not expecting. It was a small light blue envelope with her name and address written in black, girly letters. There were even hand drawn butterflies in different sizes on both the front and back and even though there was not written a return address then Emily had a pretty good idea about who the letter was from.
Emily smiled as she left the rest of the mail on the island along with her bag, keys and cell phone and then she walked around it and sat on one of the bar stools. With her feet on little holder and her elbows on the counter, Emily held the small envelope. She opened it slowly so she would not rip the paper. Inside lay two pieces of folded paper. One was white and the other was the same light blue color as the envelope. She reached in and took both of them out and unfolded them. On the white paper was a cartoon like drawing of her and Hotch and as Emily looked it over she could not help but laugh out loud. She was sure that this was what they would like if they were characters in a children's book.
When Emily was done looking at the drawing then she laid it back in the envelope again and gapped the other piece of paper. This one was a letter and Emily slowly started reading, hoping to hear some good news.
Dear Emily
I hope it's okay for me to write to you, because it wasn't easy for me to find your address and I have ended up talking to a lot of different people in order to get it. One of those people was a Penelope Garcia. She got all excited when I called her and she knew a lot of stuff about me which freaked me out a lot at first, because I had no idea who she was, but then she explained that she works with you and had helped find me. Anyway, she was the one who gave me your address, so if it wasn't okay, then you should go yell at her. I'm not trying to be a snitch; I just really hate to get into trouble. Though with everything that has happened to me then I think I might be able to get away with a lot more than before. That is if I am even allowed to leave the house when I get home.
Home... It's funny if none of this had happened, then there would still be two weeks till I was leaving and I would not have been looking forward to it at all, but right now all I wanna do is go home so I can sleep in my own bed and forget any of this ever happened. But that is going to be hard, because everyone is wanting me to talk about it over and over again. They say I need to work through my trauma. What trauma? Yes I was kidnapped by a psycho, but the doctor said I wasn't raped, so the guy didn't really do anything to me. Then how come I'm not allowed to forget it? I don't remember much of it anyway, the banks to my head made sure of that.
Okay, maybe it's not because I just wanna forget about what happened, because I actually have nightmares about it. It's just that no one really understands what happened to me, because this isn't something that happens in Denmark. No one gets kidnapped by a serial killer who wants you to be the daughter he once lost. It's crazy! But it happened to me, so how is anyone ever gonna understand what it was like?
I don't even know why I'm writing to you. Maybe because you were the one who found me and you stayed with me or maybe because of the work you do. This isn't some crazy thing to you; you actually see it every day. But I don't expect you to safe me, you have already done that and the hospital had gotten me a psychologist to talk to, I just have a hard time finding the words to say.
I'm babbling aren't I? Actually I just wanted to tell you that I'm doing well medically. My head is better except of the bare spot I now got. It will take some time for my hair to grow out and it kind of sucks, but my mom has gotten me this really cool red beanie and she has promised me as many hats and beanies I would like until my hair is back. Maybe I should just cut it short in a few months. Do you think I would be able to pull off a pixie cut? Okay no more hair talk! I will be leaving the hospital sometime next week. Yaay! I just hope the doctors don't change their mind along the way, but they say I'm doing well, so I try to stay as positive as possible.
I hope you and the babies are doing good as well. I don't remember much from the night you found me, but I remember you tell someone on the phone that you would keep me, you and the girls safe and seeing as you are pregnant then I'm guessing the someone wasn't talking about your breast. SORRY! That was kind of rude of me to say! (My sister is helping me write this and she thought it was rude of me to say.) June says "hi" and I also promised to "hello" and "thank you" from Louise Campbell. I have visited her a few times and she's doing well too.
This is really everything I wanted to say, so goodbye and good luck with your little girls (which I think you should name Smilla and Sara).
Thank you and your team for bringing me back to my family.
- Simone
Emily sighed and placed the double sided latter back in the envelope. She did not know if Simone expected or wanted her to answer back, because the letter did not have a return address on it. Maybe she could get Garcia to look up the girl's address, but it would probably be weeks before the letter would be in Denmark. Emily decided not to worry about it now, she was just happy to know that Simone was okay and that she would continue being okay, at least medically. The rest would come later, but Emily was positive that with time Simone would make it through. She was a strong girl and she had a family that would do anything to help her.
Emily reached forward and laid the letter on the coffee table and then got up from the couch. She had to grip the armrest in order to not fall back down. Emily almost could not believe she had gotten this big this fast, but that was what she could expect when she was carrying two babies instead of just one. She walked up the stairs and into the bathroom where she turned on the water and undressed as she watched the tub slowly filled.
Five minutes later the tub was still only half filled and Emily decided sitting on the lid of the toilet naked any longer would be weird, so she got up and wrapped and towel around her body before leaving the bathroom. She could just have walked out naked, because no one was there to see her, but she did not feel that confident about herself. Also, the windows in her apartment were very big and very open. Emily walked into her bedroom and picked up the book from her night stand and found her mp3 player in the top drawer of her dresser. She carried both things with her back to the bathroom and placed the book on the toilet lid and then turned on the mp3 and quickly there after the small room was filled with the tones of Yiruma's "If I Could See You Again". Emily smiled. She loved his music. It would always seem to calm her down when she was mad or in a bad mood, but also relax her when she needed it – like now.
Emily hung the towel back on its hook, turned off the water, grabbed her book, and then carefully got into the bathtub. The water was a bit too hot and Emily felt the usual tinkling sensation in her feet that you would get if you come inside a warm room with ice cold hands. After a moment the feeling disappeared and Emily sunk all the way down, so the water was covering both her breasts and her knees. The bathtub had been one of the things Emily had like best about this apartment, when she had moved in 6 years ago – that and the beautiful view from her living room.
Emily opened her book and started reading, but even though it was fairly good, then she had to put it down after about 15 minutes, because her arms started hurting from having to hold the book above the water. So doing the reminding time Emily just laid there with her eyes closed and her hands on her stomach as she listened to the music. And it was in that moment – just as "The River Flows in You" hit the high notes – that was when she felt it.
Emily's eyes flew open quickly and she more or less stared down herself at her stomach. At first she was not sure she had felt what she thought she had felt, but then it happened again. It was not in the same place, but it was the same feeling. A big smile spread on her face. Her babies were kicking. It was a very weird feeling and nothing like the moving around she had felt many times before. This was actually kicking she could feel against the skin on her stomach.
Getting out of the bathtub turned out to be just as difficult as getting up from the couch had been and Emily had to grab the sides firmly so she would not slip. When she got over the side, she quickly pulled the towel from its hanger and wrapped it around herself. She needed to call Hotch right away. He would want to know this. Emily half ran out of the bathroom and down the staircase dripping water all the way. She picked her bag of the floor and rummaged through it to find her cell phone, but she could not find it. As moments passed she got more and more desperate.
"Where the hell is it?!" Emily yelled as she turned the bag upside down and everything in it dropped onto the floor in one big mess. She kneeled down to look through all of it and finally she found her phone. She sighed with relief as she got up from the floor, holding the towel together with one hand and already pressing the phone to her ear with the other.
"Hotchner."
"AARON!" Emily said excitingly and sat down on the couch's armrest.
"Emily?"
"THEY KICKED! THE BABIES JUST KICKED!"
"They kicked?"
"Yeah…" Emily hesitated before saying anything else. She could hear in his voice how disappointed he was that he had missed it. "Why don't you and Jack stop by? Then you can feel it yourself."
"Sure, we will be there in half an hour," Hotch said and Emily could tell he was smiling now.
"Good, see you then!" Emily hung up and for a moment was she just looking down at the screen on her phone with a big smile on her face, but then she remembered that she was sitting in her living half naked. She quickly got off the couch and ran back up the stairs to get ready.
/
Hotch hang up the phone and placed it in his back pocket. "Jack!"
"Yes daddy," the boy said as ran around the corner.
"We are gonna go see Emily now, so put on your shoes and jacket."
"Really?" Jack asked with a big smile, sitting down on the floor.
Hotch kneeled down and grabbed one of Jack's shoes, untying it. "Yes. Emily just called me and said that the babies are kicking."
Jack put on both shoes and Hotch started to tie them. "How can they be kicking? I thought the babies were in her belly."
Hotch smiled. "They are, but they can move around in there," he said as he got back up and then held his hand out for Jack to take. Jack grabbed his father's arm with both of his and Hotch lifted him into the air. Or so it seemed to Jack. Really it was only like half foot, but the boy still land with a loud bump when the feet touched the ground. "But daddy, how can the babies move? I thought they were big." Jack slipped into his jacket and Hotch grabbed his car keys. "When I put my hands on Emily's belly then its hard, like when I eat too much."
They stepped out the apartment and Hotch made sure to lock all three locks on the front door. "That's because the babies are big, but not so big that they can't move around a little and kick both each other and Emily."
Jack frowned. "But why can they kick?"
"Remember when I showed you the black and white picture of the babies?"
"The one with the peanuts?"
"No not that one," Hotch said with a laugh. "The other one."
"Ooh, that one!"
"Yes that one," Hotch opened the right backseat door and Jack crawled into the car, "and don't you remember Emily showing you the babies' arms and legs?"
"Can they already move those around?" Jack asked surprised as Hotch fastened his seatbelt. "WOW!"
"They are pretty cool aren't they?" Hotch closed the door and walked around the car. He got into the front seat and then looked back at Jack. "Do you wanna feel it?"
"Feel what?"
"The babies kicking."
"Can I really feel it too?" he asked with a smile.
"Of course, but we can't feel it the same way Emily can feel it."
"Why not?"
"Because Emily is the one who has the babies inside her belly."
Jack thought a moment and then he said, "That's okay daddy. I don't want kicking babies inside my belly that would just be weird."
Hotch smiled as he turned back around and started the car. "Yes that would be really weird."
/
Emily had just finished getting dressed when she heard knocking on her door, and she happily opened it. Jack more or less jumped out of his shoes and ran through the hall to the living room where he rolled unto her couch. "I just love your couch!"
Emily laughed as she closed the door after Hotch. "It's nice to see you too, Jack," she said and Jack's head popped up over the backside of the couch. "Hi Emily!" he said quickly and then disappeared again.
"Jack," Hotch said and both he and Emily could hear the boy sigh from across the room and after a moment he appeared. Jack walked slowly up to the adults. "Hi Emily," he said with no excitement at all.
Hotch kneeled down. "Cheer up buddy, we are not here to invade Emily's couch, remember?"
Jack nodded and a small smile spread on his face. He looked up at Emily. "Can I feel the babies kicking?"
"Of course you can! But I think they might have fallen asleep, because they aren't moving."
"Can we wake them up?"
"Maybe." Emily smiled. "Let's go sit on the couch."
Jack looked unsure up to his farther, who gave a simple nod, back at him. "Yes!" His fist pumped the air and was quickly off again.
"But no jump-"
"Too late," Emily said as the boy jumped up and down a few time before landing on his butt. It occurred to her that she found it a lot funnier than Hotch did. She placed her hand on his upper arm. "Come on." Emily guided them both over to the couch and she sat down so she had Jack on one side and Hotch on the other. She felt kind of weird though having the two of them staring at her stomach like that, but she tried to ignore it.
"What do we do now?" Jack asked.
"I'll see if I can wake them up."
"How can you do that when they are inside your belly?"
"Like this," Emily said and then laid her right hand on the side of her stomach. She lightly started pushing with the tips of her fingers, hoping that would wake the babies up.
"Can I help you?"
"Sure." Emily reached for Jack's hand and then pushed his fingertips with her own against her stomach, but suddenly he pulled his hand back. "What was that?!"
"That was your baby sister kicking you," Emily said, laughing.
"Really? Can I feel it again?" Emily nodded and Jack laid his hand back on her stomach, but his expression saddened when he did not feel anything. "Are they sleeping again?"
"No," Emily said and moved the boy's hand lower on her stomach, "you just have to feel the right place." Jack eyes got big, but his eyes got even bigger when he felt the kick against the palm of his hand. Emily had been so busy with Jack that she had completely forgotten that Hotch was also there. "Do you want to feel it too?" she asked Hotch. He simply nodded and moved his hand up, but he did not seem to know where he should place it, so Emily quickly grabbed his hand and laid it on the side. "The other one is awake too," she said with a smile.
"This is incredible," Hotch said, looking up at Emily with a small smile.
"I know," she said, smiling back at him.
After a moment Jack grew bored of feeling the babies move around, so he decided he wanted to do something else. Emily told him she had a deck of playing cards in the bottom drawer in the kitchen, so now the boy sat on the floor surrounded by the cards. She did not know if he was in the middle of some kind of game or if he was just playing with them, but he was entertained which was good, because Hotch did not seem to want to let go of her stomach ever again. Emily laid her hand on top of his and taped it lightly. "Aaron?"
"Yeah?" he looked up at her and Emily could not remember him ever looking this cute before, but then again she usually did not think of her boss as cute.
"I know you are really enjoying this and I really don't mind at all, but I have to pee."
"Oh of course."
Hotch moved his hand away and Emily quickly got up and walked to the bathroom. When she came back Hotch was sitting on the floor with Jack, but it did not seem like he was paying any attention to that playing cards. "A penny for your thoughts," Emily said, walking over to them. Hotch gave her a small smile and then held out his hand to help her sit down on the floor. "What were you thinking about?"
"When Haley was pregnant with Jack I missed a lot of stuff, because I wasn't home. I didn't think that would happen this time, because you are with me when I'm gone, but I'm still missing out on things," Hotch told her.
"I'm sorry.
"It's not your fault, but I was thinking about something."
"What?"
"Why don't you move in with me and Jack?"
"What?!" Emily asked confused. Was he serious?
"I don't want to miss out on anything anymore not now or after they are born."
"I understand, but we can't live five people in your apartment."
Hotch looked surprised. "I thought you would have said no."
"I'm not saying yes either," Emily said, but somewhere in her head a little voice was asking her if this was not a pretty good idea. Hotch was the farther and he had a right to see his daughters and this way she would not have to do everything alone. "If we do this then where would we live?"
"We could buy a house where you and the girls have your own floor. We would live together, but still apart."
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes I will move in with you and Jack," Emily said happily, but her smile disappeared when she noticed how Hotch expression changed. He looked almost panicked. Could he really have had changed his mind that fast? Maybe moving in together was not such a good thing after all. "It's okay if you have changed your mind…"
Hotch looked surprised at her. "No, no! I'm not changing my mind about it," he reassured her as he took her hand in his. "I just… What about Jack?"
"What do you mean?" Emily asked, looking from Hotch to his little boy who was still playing with the cards unaware of what was going on around him.
"Maybe all of this is too much for him?"
Emily smiled and squeezed Hotch's hand that was still holding hers. "What about we ask Jack and if he doesn't like the idea or just becomes really quite, then we won't do it?"
Hotch nodded. "Jack?"
Jack looked over his shoulder. "Yes daddy?"
"Come here, Emily and I want to ask you something."
"Okay." He crawled the two feet across the floor and sat on his knees in front of the two adults. He looked from his farther to Emily and back again. "Daddy?" he asked, sounding worried when neither of them said anything.
"I have asked Emily to move in with us."
Emily frowned. She would probably not have said it like that, but Jack did not seem to look neither sad, surprised nor mad. He just shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, but where is she gonna sleep?"
Hotch sighed with relief. "Emily and I thought it might be good, if we got a bigger place for the three of us."
"Five," Jack said.
"Five?"
"With the babies we will be five and not three." Jack looked at Emily. "They are gonna live with us too, right?"
Emily smiled and ruffled his hair. "Of course they are."
"But you are okay with all of this?" Hotch said and reached out for Jack and helped him sit in his lap.
Jack nodded. "It'll be fun, but…" He looked down at his Hand and did not continue what he was saying.
"But what?" Hotch ran his hand up and down his son's back, afraid Jack might had changed his mind about it. "What is it buddy?"
He turned his head and looked up at his father. "Will Emily bring anything but the babies to the new house?"
"I'm not sure I understand what you are asking."
Emily eyed the boy. There was something in the way he acted. He did not seem sad, more nervous and then she knew what it was all about. "Jack, are you wondering if I will bring my couch with me when we move?"
"Yes!" Jack said, happily and Hotch laughed out loud. He had just told his boy that they were going to move in with his colleague who is pregnant with his babies and all the child is concerned about is whether she is going to bring her couch with her. Well Jack did love that couch a lot.
"If you want to, then I will bring it."
"YAY!" Jack fist pumped the air and then was quickly out of his father's lap. He wrapped his arms around Emily's neck in a tight hug. "Thank you."
"No problem sweetie," Emily said as she wrapped her own arms around the small boy. Over his should she could see Hotch smiling at her. She smiled back and couldn't help but think that for not being a couple then they were doing a lot of very couple like things…
