I don't own Loki or the Avengers, but I'm not making money from this.
Chapter 13: Admonitions
Loki had Jarvis direct her to the employee cafeteria. He assured her that she would be allowed to eat there, and that her food would be paid for by SHIELD. She entered the large area and surveyed it with some trepidation. It was full of people wearing business suits and ties, all looking very professional. She ducked into a bathroom and changed her clothes to match, putting her hair up in a neat bun, hiding her necklace under a button-down blouse and conjuring up a pair of stylish glasses. Hopefully now she would fit in.
She emerged once more, slightly more confident, and went to brave the food line. By imitating those in front of her, she managed to pick up a tray and silverware, and peruse the posted menu for options. She wasn't really familiar with any of the dishes, so she picked whatever looked good: a couple slices of roast beef, some colorful vegetables, and a tiny loaf of bread. In the beverage area, she spotted a sign on a coffee machine that said "hot water for tea" over an orange spigot. She poured herself a cup, and found little packets called tea bags nearby. There were a lot of choices. At last she selected one called Plantation Mint. She liked mint.
Lastly she headed towards the exit back to the seating area. With dismay she saw the people in front of her handing plastic badges with their photos on them to a woman in front of a machine. She would swipe them and then allow them to pass. Loki did not have a badge, and she had almost no magic left. Her turn was approaching rapidly, and she was about to attempt to conjure herself a badge when a familiar voice behind her spoke up.
"Hi Chloe, she's with me." Loki managed not to jump or turn around. The person behind her handed up her badge, and she saw what she knew she would, a very serious-looking photo of a redhead with the name Natasha Romanov below it.
Chloe smiled and swiped the badge. She handed it back and they were free to go. "How long have you been following me?" Loki asked, her face and demeanor remaining casual.
Natasha laughed. "Ever since you ducked in the ladies' to pull a Clark Kent," she admitted.
They sat at a table in a less populated area. "I continue to be highly impressed by your stealth abilities," she said sincerely.
Natasha just smiled. "I was really impressed with how well you did in the cafeteria. Only someone who was watching very closely would have guessed that you had never been in one before."
Loki lit up. "Really?" she picked up the tea bag and began to read the instructions.
"Yes. It looked like it was your first time in this cafeteria, because you had to look around a lot, but the concept itself didn't seem too foreign to you." She took a bite of a dish and then added salt to it.
Loki opened the packet and dropped the tea bag into the hot water, watching as the color spread throughout. "So were you tailing me for business or pleasure?"
Natasha raised an eyebrow at her choice of words. "Little of column A, little of column B. I'm your keeper for the evening, so I figured I'd just come and find you now."
Loki could tell there was something that annoyed Natasha about the situation. She remembered how excited Thor was that morning, and wondered why he would not be keeping her company. "I take it the others will be busy?" she guessed.
Natasha rolled her eyes. "Apparently it's 'boy's night.' They're all going to play poker and drink beer and smoke Tony's expensive cigars and we're not invited."
Loki frowned. Exclusively male activities were not uncommon on Asgard, and to be honest this was not the first time she had been excluded from them, but it was the first time she had been left out because she was a girl. It irked her, and she could tell it bothered Natasha too.
They ate in silence for a while, and Loki found that it was not an uncomfortable one. They watched as people came and went, Loki out of curiosity and Natasha out of her habitual vigilance. Loki admired that she remained professional even in this casual environment, but she wondered if Natasha ever stopped being the Black Widow and allowed herself to be just Natasha. She wondered what kind of movies she liked, where she liked to 'hang out' as young humans were fond of saying. How would she unwind from a bad day? Sparring? Alcohol?
Natasha caught Loki staring at her, and she quickly dropped her eyes to her food. Barton probably knows these things, she thought with an odd pang of jealousy.
"Where is Agent Barton, anyway?" Loki said out loud.
Natasha gave her a funny look, and she realized how odd it must have sounded without being privy to her thoughts. "It's just... I've been wandering around SHIELD headquarters for two days and I haven't seen him once. Is he on assignment?"
"No," Natasha said slowly. "It's a big place," she offered. "You've managed to avoid Dr. Banner thus far."
Loki set her silverware down on her empty plate gently. "Are you saying he's avoiding me?"
Natasha sighed. She hadn't meant to reveal that. "Well, can you blame him?"
Loki sighed too. "No," she said sadly.
Natasha shifted uncomfortably and tossed her napkin on the remains of her meal. "Clint kind of avoids people in general," she explained.
"With the exception of you?" Loki asked.
A small smile danced across Natasha's lips. "Not always. Sometimes I think it bothers him, that I know him so well." Her expression became serious and distant. "Sometimes it bothers me too."
Loki didn't know what to say. She could not recall the memories she had stolen from Barton. She knew only what had been hinted at in their conversation on the helicarrier: they had been lovers, when Barton had chosen to save her from herself.
Natasha studied Loki for a moment. Why was it that she told her these things? Why did she want so badly to help Loki learn how to fit in here? If she was truly honest, was it because she saw herself more clearly in this new female form of Loki's? She stood and picked up her tray, and Loki did the same. "Come on. Let's go to my place and talk."
Loki nodded, but was unsure. Why did she feel like she was headed for an interrogation?
In the underground parking garage, Natasha led her to the stall where she kept her motorcycle. It was a lean Japanese model, lightweight and responsive. It even looked fast, as it sat waiting in the dim light.
"I'm guessing you've never ridden on a bike before?" Natasha asked.
Loki shook her head. "Is it difficult?"
Natasha took her helmet out of a metal storage locker on the wall. "In a pencil skirt? Yes."
She looked down at her clothes, still the business suit from the cafeteria. She waved a hand and they changed to look more like Natasha's, a black leather ensemble with lime green piping. "Better?"
Natasha nodded. "Nice. Very Tron. You'll need a helmet, too." she showed hers to Loki, who duplicated it. "Now... do you remember how the Chitauri vehicles worked?"
Loki thought about it. The memories were patchy, vague. She remembered the feel of the wind driving into her face, the way the slightest shift in balance was carried through into a graceful curve. "I think so."
"It's kind of like that. You turn by leaning, and you'll need to lean with me for it to work." She got on the bike, and patted the small spare seat. Loki sat on it, trying to figure out where to put her feet.
"Is this anything like riding a horse?" she asked. She knew how to do that well enough. Natasha put on her helmet, and Loki did likewise.
"Not really." Natasha started the bike, shouting over the engine and the muffling effect of their helmets. "It's easier to just show you." She grabbed Loki's hands and pulled them around her waist. "Just hold on!"
Loki was glad her helmet hid her from the world. Why was she blushing? Her embarrassment was quickly forgotten as Natasha backed out of the stall and set off for the exit ramp. She held on tightly, and fought the urge to stay upright when Natasha leaned into a turn. She was pretty sure she had the hang of it by the time they reached the exit.
"Ready?" Natasha turned and shouted back.
Loki saw the rushing snarl of traffic that waited for them. "No," she said, but it was lost in the blast of acceleration as Natasha zoomed into a spot almost too small for them. Loki held on for dear life as the bike zipped between cars and around corners. Finally they reached the freeway, and Loki began to relax, allowing the exhilaration and adrenaline to make her heart race. In what seemed like no time at all, they were exiting and on the quieter roads that led to the apartment.
"That was incredible!" Loki said breathlessly as soon as she got her helmet off.
Natasha killed the engine and set the stand. She took her helmet off, revealing a smug smile.
Loki crouched and studied the workings of the motorcycle. "I have got to get one of these."
Natasha looked uncomfortable. "Um... I don't think that will be possible."
"Why not?" Loki stood.
"SHIELD thinks it's best if you don't have your own transport. You know, so you don't... run away." It had sounded much more reasonable when Fury had explained it to her. With all her magic, Loki could probably leave any time she felt like it.
Loki continued to gaze longingly at the bike.
"You can ride with me whenever you like, though," Natasha heard herself say. "I might even let you drive it some time." Why did she say these things?
"Really? That would be fabulous." Loki beamed at her.
Natasha resisted the urge to laugh, and turned to head up the stairs. Loki wondered if maybe she didn't like elevators either. She was surprised to discover that Natasha's apartment was just across the hall from hers. She remembered Agent Hill telling her that it was on the opposite side of the courtyard, but she hadn't realized it was so close.
Once she had unlocked the door, Natasha held it open for Loki to enter. "Make yourself at home," she said as she tossed her keys into a bowl on a table next to the door. "I'm gonna go change." She went through a door on the same wall as the large window, and closed it.
Loki looked around awkwardly. She had never been invited into anyone else's home before-well except Tony, sort of, and never into the private parts. After a moment she thought to change her clothes as well, back to the outfit she had worn that morning. She walked over to the window, gazing out at much the same view as from her own living room. She glanced to the left and accidentally caught sight of Natasha dressing through her bedroom window.
Loki spun around, blushing. Why hadn't she closed her bedroom drapes? This made her realize that her own bedroom could likely be seen into from the living room. She just might be able to take advantage of that...
Natasha came out of her room wearing a ruffle shirt and old worn jeans. "What are you plotting?" she demanded.
Loki was so surprised by the casual, girl-next-door look that at first it didn't even register that Natasha had asked a question. It just seemed so... incongruous with the Black Widow. "What? Oh. I'm not-" she shut her mouth quickly. She had almost said I'm not plotting anything, but that wasn't actually true. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she struggled to find something to say which was true but wouldn't give her away.
Natasha sighed, taking pity on her. "You don't have to tell me."
Loki flopped onto the couch, burying her face in her hands. "I hate that."
Natasha sat on the other end of the couch. "You know, you could always bluff."
Loki peeked out from between her fingers. "Bluff?"
"Bluffing isn't lying. Change the subject. Don't answer. Give an elusive answer, like maybe. Lie with your face but not your words. You should work on that one, especially."
Loki sat up. "Why?"
"Because even though you didn't answer, I know that whatever you were plotting, it has something to do with Thor. You're an open book, Loki." Natasha leaned back and pulled her legs up under her.
Loki grimaced. "Yeah. That's new."
"...noooot really." Natasha laughed a little.
There was a long pause as Loki remembered. "Was I really that easy to play?"
"Yes and no." Loki watched as Natasha's body language changed, as she became the Black Widow once again. "It did unnerve me that you knew so much about my past, but I let you see it, played it up because I knew that's what you wanted. I let you have your moment, let you get in full swing, because I knew eventually you'd start gloating."
"Gloating?" Loki looked doubtful.
"Well, more or less. More preaching in your case, but either way, it's when men think they're winning that they give the most away."
Loki stored that useful tidbit of information away for future use. "You know a lot about men..." Loki trailed off, staring out the window.
Natasha waited, knowing there had to be more to that thought than the obvious statement of the century.
Loki turned back, knowing she was taking a big risk. "What would it take to make Thor love me?"
Natasha groaned, letting her head fall back on the couch as she stared at the ceiling. This again?
"I mean..." Loki thought, floundering around for a way to make Natasha tell her what she wanted. Flattery! she thought. "You managed to snag Barton, and he seems like a pretty tough nut to crack."
Natasha frowned. That wasn't exactly the ideal analogy for the situation. "Look, you want to know what happened between me and Clint?"
Loki nodded, and crossed her legs Indian-style, listening attentively.
Natasha sighed. "When I defected, pretty much at arrow-point, I took an enormous risk. For a while I remained in Russia, acting as a double agent. I needed to feel like I had some kind of control over the situation, and sex was the best way I knew to get that. Clint understood. He let me in, let himself be vulnerable to me.
"It proved more than anything that he trusted me, that I was worth trusting. It... helped me. Once I trusted him, after I was openly working for SHIELD, I didn't need it any more. Clint is an extremely private person, and it was hard for him to open up to me like that. We're still close, but it's completely platonic. I actually think things are better between us this way."
Loki was disappointed. Nothing Natasha had said would help her in the slightest.
Natasha looked at Loki for a long time. "You've spooked him," she said at length.
"What?"
"Thor," she explained. "Men are like horses. If they know you're trying to make a grab for their reins, they'll shy off."
Loki tilted her head. It was an analogy she could understand well. "So what do I do to make him trust me?"
Natasha thought carefully about what she would say next. She was playing a dangerous game here, pretending to help her. "Try to be more subtle," she suggested. It made sense, except that Thor was a little too dense to pick up on most subtle messages. "Make it so he doesn't even know you're trying."
Loki nodded to herself.
Inwardly, Natasha was relieved. That should keep her out of trouble for a while, she thought. "So where did you find your outfit?" she said, glad to be changing the subject.
"The Sartorialist," Loki perked up. "I find that I'm quite fascinated with fashion," she admitted.
Natasha grinned. "Judging by the security tapes from Stuttgart, that's not new either."
A/N: OMG you guys I am SOOOO sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had an early-morning meeting to help plan my sister's wedding reception, and then I ran around all over town with my mom, went to her place and sewed a lot, and then came home and played D&D until I passed out. I totally forgot! Please forgive me, I'll do my best to make sure it never happens again.
On a happier note, to those who are missing 'Original Recipe' Loki (as one hilarious reviewer dubbed him) I am about to begin writing the chapter where he reappears. It's chapter 20, so it will be a while before you see it here, but it will happen, I promise! I think I shall continue the double-posts until then.
