Chapter Six

An animagus is a witch or a wizard who can turn into an animal at will. But only one animal and they can't choose that animal. The animal reflects their personality. And, even better, the process hinges on an electrical storm. An unpredictable electrical storm, which could take years to come about and every sunrise and sunset until that electrical storm comes about, I have to cast an incantation. One missed spell and I could end up half-toad.

But I wasn't going to change my mind.

"As you know," drawled Severus, pacing in front of the class. I was sitting atop a desk in the front row, with a practiced face of rapt attention. "The animagus process must be started under the fool moon with a mandrake leaf, but since the full moon was yesterday, you have to wait until February 4th."

"You did that on purpose, right?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yes. Can you cast a patronus charm?" He asked, stopping straight in front of the black board and writing Expecto Patronum on it with his wand.

"No," I answered. "I haven't tried it before."

"It is above NEWT level," said Severus. "Some people can't even produce a corporeal form. But it will be useful to know the animal you'll change into before you start the process."

"Definitely," I nodded. "If I get something like a rat or a badger, I will refuse to continue."

The corners of his mouth twitched. I knew he recognised the badger as the symbol of Hufflepuff house but honestly, loyalty and hard-work only get you so far in life, it's ambition and courage that get you the rest of the way. "The spell is Expecto Patronum," he continued drawling. "It needs a happy memory to work." His lip curled as if that disgusted him and to others, I knew it would seem that way, but I'd know him for over a decade. It wouldn't fool me. I stood up, smoothing down my school robes and pulled out my wand from my robe. I held the wand out, facing the wall, and said, "Expecto Patronum," while thinking about flying a broomstick. That always seemed to make me smile.

Nothing happened. Not even a flicker. "Expecto Patronum," I said again. Once more, nothing happened. I turned to Severus. "Any better advice?" I remarked.

"Five points from Gryffindor for cheek," he replied, extracting his own wand. However, his face didn't seem angry or annoyed, just amused. I rolled my eyes. He always did enjoy deducting house points from Gryffindors.

"Ten points from Slytherin," I muttered, sardonically.

He raised an eyebrow. "Would you like to lose twenty?"

"No, no," I hastened to say.

"What memory were you thinking of?" He asked.

"Flying," I murmured, sitting back on top of the desk. My fingers brushed over some grooves in the desk, so I looked down to see Snape the Snake engraved into the table-top. I returned my attention to Severus, not saying anything. He probably already knew anyway.

"Flying isn't a happy enough memory," he told me. "What makes you smile without any effort? What do you love most in the world? Think about the happiest time in your life. The memory with the strongest emotions. Then try it again."

I thought about my familiar, her feather and beautiful eyes and the instant bond we had established. I'd seen her last night before curfew. She'd greeted me happily. "Expecto Patronum," I cast, straightening my back and elongating my wand arm. Nothing happened.

I thought of my parents and their smiles and the love they had for me and the love I had for them. "Expecto Patronum," I repeated. Once more, nothing happened. I guess my parents were too contaminated with the present dark times and the bad decisions they'd made in their youth, especially my father. I clenched my teeth, growing frustrated.

Who else did I love? Draco.

I thought of my brother and how he protected me yesterday before once more recasting the spell aloud. But, again, not even a flicker of the white light I knew was supposed to erupt from the tip of my wand. That memory had led me to think of the horrible words of warning that Zabini had whispered in my ear yesterday. My grip tightened. How did a memory of my brother not work?

Then, I thought of my father, Regulus Black, the man I'd been told about all my life. The perfect hero who had defected for his beliefs. Who had named me Gemima because I was a gem in his eyes. "Expecto Patronum," I said, a tear leaking out of my eye. I wished so desperately for this memory to work. If it didn't, I knew the pedestal he sat upon would crash and burn and suddenly this great hero would be no more. He would just be a man that died before I could meet him.

As if a gift from the heavens above, a blinding white light finally sprung from the tip of my wand – more like a wisp, really. Nothing corporeal, I noticed, but it was still more than I'd had before. The light faded and my wand dropped to the ground. Severus was there, pulling me into a comforting hug. "It wasn't a happy memory, was it?" He whispered.

"No," I whispered back, my voice coming out as a strangled sob.

"This spell works with the memory with the strongest emotions connected to it. Happy, yes. But, also, anger and sadness." He pulled back, wiping the tears away. Unlike other people, he didn't ask what this memory was about. He allowed me to keep it private and hidden deep within the cockles of my bleeding heart. He drew back. "Okay. That's enough for today. Keep practicing the patronus charm. Same time next Saturday." I recognised that as the dismissal it was. I brushed away any remnants of tears and cast a glamour charm to ensure nobody would guess that I'd been crying. It wasn't good to let someone have that much power over you when you didn't know what they would do with it.

I picked up my wand and walked towards the classroom door, only glancing back when Severus called my name. "Gemima?" I turned my head. "I'm proud of you." A smile wormed its way onto my face before I left the classroom, trudging my way back up to my dorm.

My dorm was empty like usual – Katie was out flying with Fred and George and Angelina. I could even see them out of the window closest to my bed – dipping and looping and hanging off their brooms sixty feet above the ground. I watched them longingly for a moment. They had invited me to join them, sincerely wanting my company (that was something I admired about the four of them – they forgot my opposing heritage easily and accepted me without questions) but I'd had to say no because of my meeting with Severus. Any edge, I reminded myself, meant a bigger chance of surviving.

I pulled out my potions textbook from my trunk where I'd dumped it last night, as well as parchment and ink, and headed towards the library to work on my Wit-Sharpening Potion Essay. I got there relatively easily – avoiding any unwanted confrontations, which had seemed especially hard since Christmas Break had finished. First Weasley, then Zabini in less than twenty-four hours. Well, I thought, I'd never avoided confrontations in the last six or so years, so why start now? The library was empty, just like my dorm, so I settled in easily and started on my essay.

Three and a half inches later, I yelped when my side started to burn. I struggled with my robe for a minute, pushing my bad and ink-pot over in the process and attracting the attention of the librarian until I pulled the red-hot galleon from my pocket and hid it under my textbook as Madam Pince hurried over, a cross expression evident on face.

"Miss Black," she scolded. "What is all the racket?"

Err… "I'm sorry, Ma'am," I murmured, lowly. "I – I knocked my ink-pot over." And yes, right on the floor by my side was my ink-pot or what was left of it, anyway. I started to pull out my wand to remedy the situation when Madam Pince beat me to it. With a swish of her wand, the ink-pot was mended and the ink returned to my pot. "Thank you."

"That's fine, Miss Black, just don't do it again."

I nodded and when she disappeared back behind her stacks of books, I breathed a sigh of relief. Making sure she was really gone, and nobody else was paying attention, I slid the fake galleon out from under my potions textbook.

There, on the galleon, where the coin's made-by date should have been was today's date and beside that was the time 19:00. I guess today was the next Defence meeting. I subtly cast the spell Tempus which revealed the time was 6pm. One hour. I slid the coin back into my robe (into a more secure pocket) and packed my things up. Dinner had already started, without my realisation, and, as my growling stomach told me, I was hungry. I stacked my things into my bag and hurried out of the library.

Katie and Angelina were already seated at the Gryffindor table when I arrived, so I settled in beside them. "Hey, guys," I mumbled, quickly adding some food to my plate.

"Hey, Gem!" said Katie brightly. "You missed out on a lot of fun today."

"I know," I sighed. Then I noticed that Angelina was looking at something over my shoulder – at the Slytherin table. I turned around to follow her gaze. My eyes rested on Draco and Zabini – I could hear impassioned whispers, especially from Draco. Zabini was the first to notice my eyes on them and when he did, he smirked at me, then winked. Draco pulled his wand, muttering lowly to Zabini. I couldn't hear anything of what they were saying but the facial expressions revealed quite a serious conversation. I shot a worried look as he shifted away from Zabini and next to Daphne Greengrass. When neither of them made any more moves, I turned back around to face the girls.

"I wonder what that was about," giggled Angelina. "Hey, Gem, do you know? Malfoy is your brother after all."

"Er, no," I answered. "But they've never really liked each other so it doesn't surprise me." With that weak explanation, the conversation shifted, and I continued eating.

"You know," said Katie. "Umbridge put up another rule this morning. No PDA. Boys and girls have to be eight inches apart at all times. Ridiculous, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "The ministry needs to back off-"

"Speaking of Umbridge," muttered Katie. "Guys, the meeting starts in half an hour. Can we go back to the common room and drop our bags?"

"Sure," answered Angelina, pushing her plate away. "Are you coming, Gemima?"

"Hmmm-mmm," I answered, taking a good gulp of pumpkin juice and a bite out of a carrot. After I swallowed, I said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." After one more gulp of pumpkin juice, I grab my bag and follow the two out of the Great Hall, shooting one last glance towards Draco, who seems deep in conversation with Daphne Greengrass and her sister, Astoria. He doesn't look up.

"So," says Angelina as I catch up with them at the doors. "Katie tells me you have your eye on a certain Slytherin."

"Well, according to Katie, I have my eye only on Slytherins, so you're going to have to be more specific." The halls are deserted at this time as dinner is still going on but there are barely any Gryffindors at the house table, so I'm guessing they're already getting a head start on the meeting, like us.

"More than one?" Teased Angelina. "Wow, Gem." She slings her arm over Katie and I's shoulders. "I did not expect that from you."

"Oh, yeah?" I reply. "How's George these days, Ange?"

She blushes but doesn't remove her arm from around our shoulders. "Good, yeah," she answers.

"So, he hasn't asked you out yet?"

"No," she groans. "I don't know what to do. Katie and I have done everything. We've made it very obvious that we like them but… nothing. It's driving me insane."

"Here's a wild thought," I tell them as the portrait swings open to reveal the semi-empty common room. "Maybe you should tell them."

"No." This time it's Katie who speaks up. "That's not how it's done."

"Yes, it is," I argue. "It's the nineties. Freedom and-"

"And war and prejudice," finishes Angelina.

"Only in this country," I counter. "Have you been to Europe? The women are so sophisticated. They do what they want and say sorry later. It's so refreshing. British people say sorry too much, I think." Then as an after-thought, I add, "And the food, that's great, too."

Katie and Angelina laugh. Katie and I head up to our room, promising to meet Angelina in the common room in a few minutes. I had just locked my bag inside my trunk when Katie said, "Do you really think I should tell Fred?"

I looked up. "Yeah, I do. I mean, what's the worst that is going to happen? Fred's a nice guy… he's not going to humiliate you or anything."

She bit her lip, nodding and headed into the bathroom.

I found my charm bracelet under my pillow and secured it on my left wrist. She came back a few seconds later and then we met Angelina in the common room.

Appearantly, the meetings were held in the room of requirement on the seventh floor because it's easily defendable and really hard to find. Katie and Angelina quickly filled me in that The Inquisitorial Squad, formed by Umbridge, was trying to discover the meetings. And Draco was apart of this squad. I shrugged at that information – it wasn't like I thought he'd purposely rat me out if he knew I was a part of the group.

"So," I said as we reached the sixth floor. "How come I was left out of these meetings at the start?" Katie stumbled but Angelina steadied her and they continued walking in silence for a few moments.

"Well, you see," started Katie.

"You're a Malfoy," interrupted Angelina. "We didn't know if you'd tell your brother or not, so everyone decided it was best…"

"To exclude me based on my family," I finished. "Huh. Reminds me blood purity, in a way. I mean, don't purebloods exclude half-bloods and muggleborns because of their family?"

And while my tone of voice conveys nothing more than an innocent musing on my part, I knew both of them could tell it was more. It was funny, I thought, both sides of the war were doing the same thing – excluding individuals without a thought. At least the Death Eaters were open about their beliefs, instead of preaching pureness and coming up short-handed. Not that I agreed with the Death Eaters but… you can see my point. It would be so easy to come together and put all this behind us but no… death was the answer. It's also kind of ridiculous considering they locked Grindelwald up in Numengard for decades and he was on-point with Voldemort. Why didn't they kill him and save themselves a cell?

We reached the seventh floor in barely-contained silence. I wasn't angry or anything. I understood exactly why I had been left out but… it kind of hurt. Katie and I had been friends for six years practically. Had she even said anything for me?

Katie hurried away, checking the incoming corridors for anyone lurking before pacing in front of an empty wall. She paced three times and these giant, intricate doors materialised from the brick wall. It was amazing, I had to admit. Even after growing up in this world, some things still took my breath away and this was one of them. Katie pulled on the handle and held the door open for us while we slipped inside.

The room was already full, I noticed, of mostly Gryffindors – The Weasleys (excluding Ronald), Harry, Hermione, The Creevey Brothers, Nigel Wolpert, Lee Jordan… you get the picture. The room went silent when I entered. "What's she doing here?" Said Lavender Brown, a Gryffindor in the year below me.

"I think that's kind of obvious," I drawled. Brown (Gosh, imagine if we were paired up by – Black and Brown) really got on my nerves, so it was no wonder that I took the time to avoid her when possible. Unfortunately, this time it was not possible. This, along with the conversation from before, was really making me rethink my presence here. Was it really worth it?

"Guys," said Harry, coming forward to stand beside me. Katie and Angelina had already blended in with the crowd. "I asked her to come. If you have a problem with that," at this, he looked at Lavender Brown, "come see me, okay?" Harry gave a little push on my back, directing me into the crowd. I headed to stand by Hermione at the edge of the crowd, nowhere near Katie or Angelina. Merlin, tonight's going to be really awkward. "Right. Today we're practicing the Reducto spell. It essentially blows up an object. Everybody, make lines in front of the dummies."

Off to the side of the room, were about five grey dummies (kind of looking like Death Eaters, I guess) on each wall. About three or four people lined up in front of each one. "Okay," continued Harry at the front, in front of a mirror decorated by photographs and newspaper clippings. "Hold your wand like this." He demonstrated the movement. "And say 'Reducto'."

In my line, there was Hermione at the front, then me, then Nigel Wolpert. Hermione stepped up, brandishing her wand with the correct wand movement and said, "Reducto." The dummy split into several small pieces and crumbled to the ground. Hermione smiled brightly, before giving me an encouraging smile and standing beside Nigel to watch me. I took a deep breath, knowing that I had attracted the gazes of the majority of people in the room.

I wasn't sure what to do – show them that Severus had already taught me this spell in third year when Sirius Black had 'escaped' or show them a weakened version to make them seem more at ease. In the end, I pointed my wand at the reassembled dummy and said, "Reducto," in a strong, clear voice. The spell shot out from the tip of my wand and hit the dummy straight in the heart. The dummy started to crumble into fine dust.

I could still feel the gazes of others watching me but in the end, I had decided that I wasn't going to let them intimidate me. I would show them that a Slytherin-born Gryffindor could be powerful and still be trusted, even if it took forever.