Prentiss
I had driven around for a few hours before going back to the precinct. I calmed myself down as much as I could and pulled back into the lot. I got out of the car and walked back inside. It was about 11 am now and the precinct was pretty busy with people arriving to work or home from cases and leaving for home or cases.
I walked through the familiar bullpen and dropped my bag again. The boxes were gone from my desk but the small vase of flowers was still in the corner. I took a breath to calm myself down before walking up the steps and around the catwalk. I saw Will sitting in there as well, beside JJ with Henry sitting on his lap. I saw Jack sitting beside Rossi. Will had his hands over Henry's eyes and Jack had his hands over his own. That confused me. I walked in and Hotch met me at the door "Don't go in." He said quietly.
I looked at him suspiciously before pushing past him. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the screen and my breath caught in my lungs. My throat felt like it closed up completely and unwelcome tears stung my eyes. My mouth was open in shock.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't drag my eyes away from Declan's picture on the screen. Not his nice photo with him smiling beside a woman who I assumed was his foster parent and not the one of him lying on the ground in a puddle of blood. A sob escaped me and I bit my lip to hold the others back. A single tear dripped down my cheek and I closed my eyes to stop the rest.
"Garcia, can you please take it off the screen?" Hotch asked quietly.
"Yes sir." She whispered. I heard her fumble with the remote as she tried to take it down quickly.
A few seconds of silence past as they let me get myself under control. I opened my eyes when I was sure I could keep it together and I sat down at the table. Hotch sat back down where he previously was, beside me.
I cleared my throat, "Cause of death?" I tried to keep my voice as level and professional as I could.
"Emily, you don't have to act—"
"Cause of death?" I asked slower and more forceful this time, cutting JJ off.
"Multiple stab wounds." Garcia said quietly. She went to speak again but stopped herself. She was holding something back.
"What, Garcia?"
She hesitated and looked at Hotch. He told me for her, "There was a fresh brand of a four leaf clover on the left side of his chest."
My breath caught again momentarily. I forced myself to swallow and allow air back in and out of my lungs, "Do you have a photo of the brand?" I asked Garcia. She nodded and looked at Hotch. When he nodded, she put it up on the screen for me to see.
"Didn't…Doyle and his little army have that?" Rossi asked me quietly.
I stood up and walked to the door before the tears could fall from my eyes. "Hey, wait," Morgan stopped me, "Why is the brand important? I mean, I know it is, but does mean something bigger to you than we think?"
I took in a deep, unsteady breath and turned to look at him. I pulled my shirt down from my neck and stopped below the brand Ian Doyle had left on my chest.
"…Is…is that a brand?" Reid asked hesitantly. I nodded in reply. "It's in the exact same spot as Declan's."
"Doyle did that to you?" Morgan asked, his eyebrows rising. His voice sounded so pissed off, like just the thought of this made him want to kill Doyle.
"No, I did it myself." I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
"The brand on Declan was a taunt to you." Rossi said.
"He's not dead." I choked out as I tried to hold the tears back. I blinked them away and bit the inside of my mouth to stop the quiver in my breathing.
"But we were there. We saw him die," JJ said, "He has to be dead."
"We thought Emily was dead…" Reid said quietly, looking at her.
All of the flowers, the box of pictures of the only people I had in my life; they were all from Ian Doyle. He pulled a me on me. He faked his death, he had someone on the inside to save him and then lie for him. He did it to get out of the mess he was in. He was caught, he was going to the best security prison in the world and he knew he wouldn't get away with near as much the second time around. Now he was back, and he was taunting me, following me and my team, gifting me flowers, signing them with the letter of his last name.
I walked out of the room quickly and I was almost running down the catwalk. "Em, stop." I heard JJ say. I heard her footsteps follow me and someone was behind her. I wasn't planning on leaving the precinct; that was too dangerous.
I reached my desk and picked up the vase of flowers. I turned and threw it at the wall. The vase smashed and the flowers dropped, scattered on the ground near the wall. Tears escaped my eyes and I sobbed. I felt hands on my upper arms, pulling me away from the wall and the flowers and the desks. Hotch led me to his office and closed the door behind him. "Prentiss, talk to me." He pushed me backwards gently to sit down on the couch against the wall across from his desk. He sat beside me.
"I can't do it again," I shook my head, "I can't go through it all again. I can't see him again."
"We don't know that it's him."
"The flowers are signed with a 'D'. They're purple. He sent me a purple and white flower last time because they were the flowers I was tending to when Interpol took my back from him and to base, but Hotch, I put a bunch of those same plain purple flowers on his grave not long ago."
"I know; there was a photo of you doing it in that box." He said quietly.
I shook my head, "He knows my weakness and he is going to use it against me this time."
"What do you think your weakness is?" He asked.
I looked at him, "You. The team, Will, Henry, Jack. You need to get your son and your team and you need to run."
"I'll organise someone trustworthy and professional to take Henry and Jack to a safe house. I have one in another country just in case something like Foyet happened again, for anything dangerous. But Emily, the team and I, Will included I'd bet; we're staying here to fight with you. We'll make sure he dies this time." He stood up and walked across his office to his desk. I heard a drawer open and close and then he walked back to me, handing me a box of tissues.
I thanked him silently, mouthing the words and took the box. I pulled a tissue from it and wiped my eyes, shaking my head as I did, "He'll kill you."
"We'll get him first, Prentiss. I promise."
We spent the day looking into Doyle and people who I suspected to be in the "army" of his. We all looked through file after file of complex criminals that we probably shouldn't have been looking at and every time they found one they thought was a possibility, they asked me. If I said no, they'd move to the next file. If I said they were a possibility, Garcia would research them further.
We worked for hours straight with no breaks at all and now it was about 9 pm and we were sitting in the round table room in silence. JJ had her head rested on Will's shoulder, her eyes closed; Will was looking at Henry as he slept on his lap. Rossi and Hotch were sitting back in their chairs, looking at the table with nothing in front of them, Reid was tapping his fingers with his head resting in his other hand, Morgan was on his phone, Garcia was sitting back in her chair with her head back and her eyes closed. I was laying my head in my arms on the table. Jack was in Hotch's office.
"We're going to die." I said quietly, breaking the silence.
"No, we're going to…" JJ sat up quickly and opened another file, "Oh, fuck it." She closed the file and threw it towards the centre of the table, away from her. She dropped her head back to Will's shoulder without another word.
"I can't read another file." Morgan said.
"None of this would have happened if I hadn't have come back."
"This isn't your fault." Rossi shook his head.
I snickered and sat up, running my hand through my hair to push it back out of my face. I stood up and Hotch grabbed my arm before I could walk passed him.
"Where are you going?"
"I need coffee."
"No, sit back down," Garcia said quietly, "You're not allowed to leave the gun owners sights."
"Okay, if I'm not allowed coffee than I'm going to go find Doyle myself and beg him to kill me."
Hotch stood up and walked out, motioning for me to follow him. I trailed a step behind him and we walked around the catwalk and down to the break room. "You know that I was capable of coming here myself, right?" I asked.
"I know, it's a little too much, but outside of those glass doors, you are to be with at least one of us at all times. I came now because I assumed you don't really want to be by yourself at the moment." He explained as he put the coffee on.
I smiled at him weakly and sat down at the table in the room, "Thanks." I said at almost a whisper.
"So how are you feeling about all of this right now?" He asked as he sat across from me.
"Was my little breakdown in your office not enough to answer that for you? I mean come on; I don't think I have ever cried that much in front of you. It was embarrassing. This reminds me; please never tell anyone that it ever happened. Don't even think about it; just completely wipe that memory from your brain."
"Prentiss, you need to be able to have emotions sometimes."
I straightened my back and my eyebrows furrowed, "I have emotions."
"But you don't let them out often. When you came back and pushed past me, you let out one little sob and that was it. We were all expecting something so much bigger but you kept it all in, sat down and returned to your professional self. Every time anything happens that should affect you greatly, we never know if it does because you hide everything. You're supposed to be comfortable with the team. We're supposed to be your main outlet of support for everything."
"You never show emotion." I raised my eyebrows. He stood up and started pouring out eight coffees.
"I'm the unit chief; I'm not supposed to. Honestly, I see a therapist once a fortnight just to keep myself sane. Granted, working this job as long as I have, it gets easier to deal with everything. I'm dead inside." He smirked at me.
I tried to hold my amused smile back at his finishing joke.
"JJ talks to Rossi and Reid about what she needs to when Will isn't there. Reid talks to Morgan and I. Rossi talks to me, I occasionally talk to Rossi. Garcia talks to everyone. I don't know what Morgan does, I presume he just goes and finds some girl to sleep with to let out all his troubles and then he doesn't talk to her again. From what I've seen, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you don't really seem to talk to anyone that often."
"Morgan talks to me," I admitted quietly, "Sometimes I'll talk to him about the lighter side of things. I have discussed stuff with JJ and Rossi on more than one occasion."
"I mean regularly."
"Is this really the time for this conversation slash lecture, Hotch?"
He smiled and passed me a coffee, "I guess we'll pick up from here after we find Doyle and finish this once and for all."
My slight smile dropped, "Can you please be realistic? Every day, you're painfully truthful until it comes to something like this."
"Do you not have faith in this team, Prentiss?"
"I have faith in this team catching the common serial killer. I do not have faith in this team catching Doyle and his "posse"."
I lifted three other cups with my own and walked back out of the break room and made my way to the conference room quickly, trying to end this conversation with Hotch.
"I find your lack of faith a little insulting, you know." He said as he walked into the round table room. I sat down and groaned, dropping my head.
"Hotch, this is Doyle. He's out there looking for us and waiting for one of us to be off guard and vulnerable and you're there trying to get me to talk to someone about my emotions. You don't have emotions to speak about when you're me."
"I thought we were off that topic." He said as he sat back down beside me where we were before the break room.
"Yeah, well it pissed me off so hey, we're back," My mood had completely shifted. I sighed as I realised how immature I was being, "I'm sorry." I shook my head.
"You're normally so calm and collected. Today has been rough for you, hasn't it?" Garcia asked quietly.
"Oh no," I said sarcastically, "It's been great, you know. I came to work to find three creepy boxes, one of which contained photos ranging from six months ago to this morning, I found out that the boy I spent my life protecting was dead, I found out that my ex-boyfriend who I was supposed to be in an undercover, fake relationship with but I actually think I fell in love with, wasn't dead after all and now he's out to kill me and the only nine people in the world that I actually give a damn about. Best day of my life, I'm telling you." I shook my head and shot her a fake smile.
"You're tired." Morgan nodded.
"I am." I agreed and turned to Hotch quickly, not even taking a break in between my sentences, "When can I go home?"
"When we figure out where we're going." Reid said quietly.
"Please dear god to not tell me that you're going to keep me from my own apartment." I looked at my boss again.
"He knows where you live, Em…" Will said.
"Yeah, he knows where we all live. He knows everything about all of us. He probably knows that we're talking about him right now. Hey Morgan, the last girl you slept with, she's probably dead with a clover branded on her skin. Garcia, I hope you were serious about that date being a bust because he's probably dead. I hope you three didn't have anyone important in your lives because they're probably dead." I looked at Reid, Rossi and Hotch.
"You know, you're not the best person to be around in these situations." JJ said quietly, shaking her head.
"Oh, I am a delight and you know it," I said as I stood up, "And I am going home to my apartment where I may or may not be murdered tonight so don't be surprised with either outcome. Good night, please try not to die, I love you all."
