Don't own, don't sue. But please enjoy!


Chapter 17: One is One Too Many

The next day, Loki returned to her apartment right after she got done working with Tony. She was hoping to spend more time talking with Darcy, and learning more of Thor's adventures on earth. However, when she arrived she discovered that Darcy was not there.

"She went out exploring," Jane said apologetically. "We've never been to New York city before." She and Thor were playing some sort of game on the television in Thor's bedroom. "You can join us, if you like," she held out another controller. Both of them looked eager for her to accept.

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass," Loki managed to sound polite and to not slam her bedroom door. She sat down on her bed, trying not to feel sorry for herself. She would have liked to explore the city with Darcy, but she doubted that SHIELD would let her. Her few outings to the book store had been closely monitored and short. She had been here nearly three weeks, had behaved perfectly, and still they did not trust her. She supposed it was a very short time to make up for her past transgressions, but it felt like an eternity.

Suddenly, she felt angry. She had already served her punishment, wasn't that obvious? She had willingly submitted to the Morpheus Interface, and it had made a royal mess of her life. Shouldn't that be enough? The sound of Thor and Jane's laughter invaded her room, making matters worse. Fine, she thought to herself. She had saved up a little magic in the hopes of showing off to Darcy. Instead, she would use it to exact her own small, personal revenge.


Tony sighed, turning the cell phone over and over in his hands as his driver battled New York traffic. The first shipment of Italian marble for Loki's restoration had arrived and he wanted to celebrate. But she had not answered her emails, and when he went to call her he was informed by Jarvis that she didn't have her own cell phone. SHIELD apparently thought that since she was under constant surveillance, it wasn't necessary. Just call the babysitter.

Naturally, Tony thought this was stupid. How could a cell phone be a security threat? It wasn't like you could take over the world with one. Okay maybe he could take over the world with a cell phone, but he doubted Loki had that sort of technological know-how. And anyway, who really wants to take over the world? So much paperwork.

At last the car pulled into the parking lot, and Tony hopped out. "Find a spot," he told the driver. "This shouldn't take too long." He took the elevator up, and knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Thor answered. "Oh, hello Anthony."

"Hey," Tony tried to ignore the whole 'Anthony' thing. "Loki here?"

"Yes," Thor glanced into the apartment. "I believe she is in her room." He opened the door and let Tony in.

"Thanks," Tony said as Thor went back to his room. He could hear the sounds of Jane beating him at a video game as he walked over to Loki's door, which he opened. "Hey Loki-whoa..."

Loki froze at his voice, and the partially undressed Thor beneath her disappeared. "Tyr's balls! Don't you know how to knock?" she hissed at him, jumping up and pulling Tony in before closing the door. She then re-opened it a crack, peering out. The sounds of Jane and Thor's game continued uninterrupted. She closed it again and glared at Tony. "What is wrong with you?" she demanded.

Tony held up his hands. "Hey, I didn't know you were busy," he joked. "And seriously? Thor? Pepper mentioned you had a bit of a crush on your brother, but damn girl."
She frowned. "He's not my brother," she insisted.

Tony rolled his eyes, "Right, well around here the whole adopted thing doesn't really invalidate those rules."

She glared at him. "Well if you hadn't noticed, I'm not from around here," she poked him in the chest.

There was a long pause, and then Tony burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, but I just can't take you seriously without your shirt on."

Loki glanced down at herself. She was still wearing her lacy black bra, which was far more conservative than a lot of the swimwear she had seen Midgardian women wearing. Nevertheless, she cast the illusion of a green T-shirt. "You cannot tell anyone about this," she said threateningly.

"Yeah, not gonna happen. I would probably be in deep trouble with Pepper anyway. Hey, if Thor's in there getting his butt kicked at Mario Kart," he gestured through the door. "Then who were you-" he was going to say 'doing the nasty with,' but quickly amended at Loki's glare, "making out with?"

Loki sighed. "It was an illusion. An old diversion of mine," she admitted.

"Okay..." Tony really didn't want to continue this conversation. "Well I actually came here to give you this," he held out the cell phone.

She took it, found the button to turn it on, and unlocked the screen. "Thank you," she said, all ire gone from her voice.

Tony was impressed with her ability to figure out the phone so quickly. "You weren't answering your emails, and I couldn't believe SHIELD hadn't given you one, so..."

They were interrupted by Thor's triumphant cheer. Apparently he had finally won a round. Jane's laughter followed, and Loki's face sank.

She turned to Tony, looking haunted. "I have to get out of here," she told him quietly. "I can't... I need to do something so I can just forget about this for a while!" she ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

Tony assessed her, and for a moment tried to imagine the situation from Loki's perspective, freaky crush and all. "Sounds like you need to get wasted," Tony admitted.

Loki sighed gratefully. "That sounds fabulous," she said.

"Alright then!" He opened Loki's door and strode out confidently. Loki followed closely. As Tony passed Thor's door, he ducked his head in. "Loki's gonna hang out with me this evening to give you two lovebirds a little space," he said.

"Um, thanks," Jane said awkwardly.

Tony ducked back out and went out the front door. Hmmm... He thought. Jane's a smart cookie, she knows what's going on. Somehow, we're gonna have to get Loki's attention away from Thor...


"I jus don't get it," Loki slurred a little, pouring herself another drink. Her hand was still remarkably steady, so Tony held out his glass too. "I mean, I've been perfectly nice to everybody, why don't they like me?"

Tony sighed. "You gotta give it time, man," he said sadly. "I mean, you really messed us up."

Loki laid her head back on the couch, trying to make the room stop spinning. "I know. I mean, Clint I get. I seriously fucked him up. Even if he does forgive me, whish I doubt, I don't think we'll ever be friends. But why doesn't Steve like me? I've spent plenty of time with him."

Tony took a sip of his drink and suppressed a grimace. This Asgardian stuff was harsh business. "Well, it's prolly because Hill is pouring poison in his other ear."

Loki rolled her eyes. "Don't even get me started on her. She thinks I'm evil incarnate. But why would Steve listen to her?"

Tony giggled. "Dude, they've got it bad for each other," he told her.

Loki frowned. "What, are they..." she searched her foggy brain for the Midgardian word, "dating?"

"Not yet, but trust me, it's only a matter of time."

She stared down at her drink, thinking. "Still, he doesn't seem like the type to listen to idle gossip." She took a sip.

"Well," Tony sighed, "they were both pretty close to Phil."

Loki frowned, and looked up at Tony with a puzzled expression.

"What?"

"Well, I don't... I mean, obviously this is really important to you, but I don't remember. Who is Phil?" Loki asked timidly.

Tony stared at her for a moment. He drained his drink in a gulp and slammed the glass down onto the coffee table. He was trying very hard not to be angry. "He was this guy, kind of a nerd, really, but a cool guy. He tried to make friends with everybody, make it all work. And then you killed him."

Loki's face fell. "Oh," she said softly.

"It's kind of why we all banded together against you, really," Tony said as he poured the last of the Asgardian fire whiskey into his glass.

Loki's hand slowly lifted to touch her ruby necklace. It glowed dimly, and a grimace appeared on her face. She took hold of it fully, for a few moments, and the light of it shone out through her fingers. At last she let go, letting out the breath she had held. She downed her drink and shook her head. "I can't remember it," she sounded out of breath. "I don't understand why. You would think, if I'm supposed to be atoning for my sins or whatever, I would remember something horrible like that."

Tony decided it was time to change the subject. This was getting way too heavy. "So what are we going to do about this whole Thor thing, anyway?"

"Ughhh," Loki groaned. "I thought I was here to forget about that!"

"Seriously, just hear me out." He poured her another drink. "Have you ever thought about just... finding someone else?"

Loki gave him a sardonic look. "Right. Other than Thor, the only two people in this universe who wouldn't rather I was dead are you and Natasha." She took a sip of her drink. "You have Pepper, and-"

"What if I didn't have Pepper?" Tony interrupted quickly.

Loki stared at him, surprised. "Pepper is a nice girl, Tony, you shouldn't-"

"I know, I know," he flapped a hand at her. "But hypothetically speaking, if there were no Pepper, then what?"

A slow grin spread over her face. "Why Mr. Stark," she quoted, "are you trying to seduce me?"

Tony looked around the room, pointing to himself in mock innocence. They laughed. "Well, you're at my place and we're drunk. In my rather extensive experience, that's a good place to start."

Loki snorted, but stopped when she saw he wasn't laughing. "Are you serious?" she asked.

He lifted his eyebrows and shrugged.

She thought about it. Tony was certainly more intelligent than Thor, and that had its appeal. He was rich and lived that way, fine clothes, fast cars, and parties with all the best of society. Certainly he could offer her the kind of lifestyle she wanted. He wan't as tall or muscular as Thor, but he wasn't bad to look at either, with his devil-may-care hairstyle and trim goatee.

Suddenly she wondered what it would be like to kiss a man with a mustache. Any man, really. She wasn't likely to get a chance with Thor... She realized she had been staring at his lips. She glanced up and saw him looking at her with hooded eyes. Somehow, without her noticing, they had each leaned closer to each other. She closed her eyes, and leaned a little more...

They kissed. After a moment, he pulled away, looking into her eyes with a question written on his face. A smile snuck into her expression, and suddenly they both burst out laughing.

"Okay, that never happened," Loki fell back on the couch in hysterics.

"Okay, okay. Jarvis, can you wipe that from the security tapes?" he grinned.

"Of course, sir," the AI replied in a disapproving tone of voice.

This elicited another fit of giggles. "So..." Tony said as soon as he could breathe. "Natasha's hot."

Loki tried hard to stop laughing, tears streaming down her face. "I think... I think I should go home before we get any stupider," she wiped at her eyes. "Is that even a word?"

"Who cares? Lemme get you a car." Tony tapped a command into a nearby screen.

"Thanks," Loki stood, catching herself on the edge of the couch as her balance wavered. "I think I shall need it." She walked unsteadily to the elevator. "And thank you for this," she gestured to the couch. "I needed it."

"Any time," Tony waved as the doors closed. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Aw, man," he said to no one in particular. "Pepper's gonna kill me."


"I'm home," Loki called as she pushed open the door.

Thor was sitting on the couch, thankfully alone. "Ah, good. I was beginning to worry. How was your evening?"

Loki just giggled, and tripped over her feet before falling into the couch.

He frowned. "Are you intoxicated?"

"Yes," she said with conviction, looking at him upside down.

"Why?"

"Because I drank a lot of alcohol," she joked. When Thor merely continued to frown, she sighed and sat up. "I'm just frustrated, Thor. Nobody likes me, apparently because of things I don't remember doing. I mean really, why don't I remember that?"

"What is it you cannot recall?" he asked.

"A man named Phil," she said quietly, "and what became of him."

A pained look stole over Thor's face, and they were quiet a moment. "I remember," he said.

She looked to him.

"I was there. You..." he passed a hand over his face, "you enjoyed it."

An expression of horror slowly bloomed on her face. She stood, and quickly ran to the bathroom where she was very sick.

Thor sighed heavily and got up to follow her. He found her, leaning her head against the edge of the toilet and moaning. "Were you not warned that this would happen?"

"Oh, shut up," she said without any ire.

He sat on the edge of the bathtub beside her. She gripped the toilet as another wave of nausea washed over her. Thor reached forward and caught up her hair, holding it back as she was sick again.

"What are you doing?" she asked when she could speak again.

Thor smiled cheerfully. "Darcy informed me that this is one way that Midgardians show affection for each other."

Loki gave him a wretched, sarcastic look.

He sighed. "I do care for you, Loki. You're my-my sister." He pushed a few strands of hair out of her face. "Must we always have this awkwardness between us?"

Loki sighed. "I'm trying, Thor, I really am."

When it became clear that there was nothing left in her stomach, Thor got her a wet washcloth. She cleaned her face and then stumbled, with his help, to her bed. For once she did not wish him to join her.

"Goodnight, sister. I do not envy you the headache you will have ere the morn."

She did not respond, she was already asleep.


A/N: This chapter is actually what spawned this entire story. I had a dream where I was femme Loki, and crushing on Thor, and Tony walked in on me making out with a Thor illusion. I woke up, spent several days thinking "WTF? Seriously?" before realizing, you know what…. I could make that work. lol

I promise you, that is the very worst of the ThorxLokiness. From here on out, it gets much better. Also, there will be no more TonyxLoki, because that was just silly and I think Tony and Pepper are the cutest thing ever.

Thanks to NaNoWriMo, I now have a twelve chapter buffer, so I have decided to continue the two chapter a week posts, at least until Dude Loki shows up again-which happens very soon! But first there will be some fun with Femme Loki and Natasha. ^.~