A/N Inspired by an actual conversation between my sister and I about someone she knows who is currently reading the book mentioned in the story. Draco's advice was my advice to this person via my sister...
Title: Kids Don't Come with Manuals
Rating: T (mild swearing)
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"What on earth are you reading?" asked Draco, leaning over, lifting the cover to see what Ron was reading.
Ron frowned. "It's a parenting book," he explained, stating what he considered to be the obvious.
Draco chuckled. "As someone who has been a parent for fifteen years, I feel I ought to let you in on a secret Molly and Arthur should have imparted on you: kids do not come with a manual. And anyone who thinks they do, is setting themselves up for a shit storm, and their kid for a lifetime of psychotherapy. Although, as a Weasley, that's kind of a given."
Hermione smacked him on the arm as she placed the iced tea down on the table, before pouring Lavender a glass.
"I am sure Ron just wants to feel prepared," she offered, as she settled into the seat next to her husband.
Draco scoffed at the idea. "Honestly mate, I have frequent flyer miles to hell and back for my kids. That's one reality 'The Expectant Dad's Survival Guide' won't tell you about."
"Well, they are Malfoy's after all, isn't that kind of a given?" Ron huffed, chucking the book on the table.
"Er, excuse me, they are my children as much as they are his." Hermione's eyes narrowed at Ron as he looked away, his face reddening.
"Well…. I mean… you know what I mean 'Mione," he spluttered, as Lavender placed her hand on his.
"Seriously, bin the book Weasley," Draco chuckled, sipping his iced tea.
Hermione glared at her husband "I bought him that book!"
Startled, Draco choked on his iced tea, coughing and spluttering as he struggled to regain his breath.
Smiling into his glass Ron sniggered, "Nice one, mate."
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