II
"I was on a street with a common name
I prayed for love, yeah, I even begged
I had a vision of you, that carried me through"
Nobody Knows - Live
He was on his way to the dining room for his breakfast feeling very sorry for not having gone out early to visit the property with Tom. Now he would have to take his breakfast alone again.
He was feeling tired. It was the second night he had slept poorly. The news sent by Rosamund had disturbed him more than he liked to admit.
He walked into the room, wishing Carson, who was already waiting for him, a good day. He served up his usual piece of bacon and eggs, while talking to the butler on house's general topics. He sat in his place at the head of the table and looked at the two other places at the table, just getting confused for a second. Then he heard voices and the sound of laughter coming from the hallway and remembered that Edith and Rose had returned from London late the day before. The lack of sleep was also affecting his memory, he thought. And with a satisfied look he watched them come into the room, still laughing.
"Good morning, ladies", he told them.
"Good morning, Papa", Edith answered him and he noticed that she seemed happier than usual. Robert preferred to ignore in that moment that the reason for that sudden happiness of his daughter probably would be something that would not let him so happy.
"Good morning, cousin Robert," Rose said, taking her place beside Edith, as Carson hastened to serve them tea.
"It seems that both of you are quite happy today."
"And who would not be with a day like this, Papa?" Replied Edith, and Robert nodded slowly watching the blue sky through the window.
"And besides, we have exciting plans for today, Cousin Robert," added Rose. He hesitated to ask them what would be these plans, just fearing the answer. Robert glanced suspiciously at Edith, and she just grinned at him cryptically, causing Robert to feel suddenly uncomfortable in his chair.
"Edith will teach me how to drive," Rose said with a satisfied air, and he felt suddenly relieved that would not be anything absurd. Rose's presence had brought a little joy to them. But Robert had to admit that, despite liking the young lady, sometimes she almost would set him off.
"Maybe I should go with you", he said watching amused his comments effect over the two girls. They exchanged a puzzled look unsure how to answer him. He suppressed a smile. Surely these plans did not include his company. Edith realized then the expression in his eyes and grinned. "I can teach you how to drive too if you want, Papa." Robert allowed himself to laugh openly. "This would be for sure a very exciting plan for today, don't you think?" He said, humorous and the two girls giggled.
Robert turned his attention to the newspaper in front of him, drinking his tea slowly while the two girls talked about their other plans for the day. Lord and Lady Stratford's ball would be in three days and they seemed excited at the prospect of a social event in the countryside just before the season.
"Aunt Rosamund told us that you know the family who is moving to Haxby, Papa." Robert almost choked with the question, which had caught him by surprise. "Rosamund can not even be silent", he thought, trying to hide his face behind the newspaper. And he had thought that their company would help him to forget about that matter.
"Yes. They are descendants of the first and original Haxby's owners."
"Cousin Rosamund also told us that you were childhood friends with the Countess of San Bertazzo," Rosie said, sounding excited about the idea. "Yes," he replied, laconically, intimately hoping to have ended the subject.
"Dowager Countess of San Bertazzo," Edith corrected her. "I never knew Haxby had belonged to another family before the Russells. When the Dunningtons have left Haxby, Papa?"
Robert suppressed a sigh. Since Rosamund had told them about the Dunnington's, she could at least have given them a few more details and saved him from that questioning.
"Many years ago, even before I met your mother." He finally replied, wincing even more behind the newspaper, which did not go unnoticed to Carson. The butler gave him an inconspicuous look without understanding his reaction.
"It must have been odd you simply have never heard of people who you were so close," said Rose, trying to keep the conversation going, but only increasing his anguish. "It was far more than odd," he thought, feeling a twinge of pain at the mere recollection. But before he could say anything, the door had opened after a knock and Anna walked in.
"Good morning, my Lord." Robert intimately thanked by such sudden intervention. "Mr. Carson, Lady Mary asked me to warn you that she will take her breakfast down here."
Robert raised his eyebrows in surprise looking at Anna with a silent question. That was the first time in a long time that Mary would come down to breakfast, a change in her behavior that seemed encouraging, at least in his view. Anna just smiled at them, with her shy way, without any comment.
"Thank you, Anna," Carson replied in his deep voice. And was with a pleased look that the butler began to prepare another place at the table, next to Robert.
"And what happened to the other Lord Dunnington's children?" Rose's curiosity seemed endless. What Robert could not understand was how they had not managed to get all the information from Rosamund, since his sister was so fond of talking about everything and everyone. But maybe he was being unfair to her, after all she seemed not to have told them anything that could make him uneasy. At least was what he hoped.
"Well, Rose, this is a question I do not know how to answer, unfortunately." Robert folded his newspaper and stood up determined to leave, before that interrogation become unbearable. "Carson, I'll be in the library," and then, looking at the two young ladies, he bowed his head slightly in courtesy and left them in the dining room making his way to the library.
He wanted to wait for Mary, but he saw no choice than to escape from there before things got worse. He had struggled in the last few days to remove Elizabeth from his thoughts. He knew that sooner or later he would have to face his past. However, he did not want to discuss it with anyone, much less with Edith or Rose.
He walked slowly through the library, looking at the sunny garden. The image of Elizabeth, in the way he had known thirty years ago, and who had walked through that same garden, completely clear in his mind. As if he had last seen her just in the day before.
Her smile, the glow of those smart dark eyes, which seemed to light up whenever they were together, the gentle curve of her chin. That joyful and sometimes daring nature of her that always made him feel right when he was next to her. He ran his hand through his curly hair, noting that despite not thinking about her for so many years, the memories were still there, very much alive. Too much alive for his own good.
He felt an increasing curiosity to know how she would look now, so long after. The years had passed to all of them anyway. But stronger than curiosity was the fear of his own reaction when they meet again.
He definitely needed to stop thinking about her. He had work to do and walked back to his desk when Cora came into the library. He should have a worried expression on his face because she asked if he was feeling well upon seeing him. Robert sat down at his desk forcing a smile, trying to look better than he really was.
"I'm just sleepy. I think I should have slept a little more this morning."
Cora looked at him with a serious expression on her face, not really believing in him. It had been a couple of days that there was something upsetting him, and she could not realize what it was. But she knew that whatever it was, it would come out when he was ready to speak. And she also knew that it was useless to push him to tell her. Robert needed some time to dwell on problems and find his way to tell her if it was necessary.
Before Cora began to make him more questions, and realizing that she did not seem satisfied with his answer, Robert looked away, turning his attention to the property books that Tom had asked him the night before to review. He would return before lunch to talk to Robert, and they had agreed that Robert would go with him on the visits in the afternoon. So he tried to focus on the books, but observed by the corners his eyes Cora approaches him.
"Do you have plans for this afternoon?"
"Yes. I'll go with Tom to check a few places on the property that need our attention. Why?" He turned to look at her. "Have you any other idea in particular?", he told her hoping that maybe she was thinking about spending some time with him.
"Actually, yes. I was thinking that maybe we should pay a call to our new neighbors, to give them a warm welcome."
Robert felt as if all the air had been taken out of the room and he could not breathe anymore. He stood there just looking at her not knowing what to say. He was definitely not ready for that yet.
"I thought we could go with the girls," she said, trying to read the odd expression on his face.
"Rose will love. She is very excited about the news that the new Haxby's owner is a young and single Earl." They both turned their heads when they heard Mary's voice from the other side of the room. "Not to mention that he is Italian."
"And what's so special about it?" Robert asked not quite sure that he really wanted to know the answer.
Cora tilted her head slightly and looked at him with a playful expression in her eyes before answering him. "Well, you know what they say about Italians," she paused intentionally, looking at him with a teasing smile. Robert frowned and she continued. "They say that Italian men are funnier than English men."
"Oh, of course. More fun", he made an expression of disdain and turned back to his desk, grumbling, without concealing his indignation. "So do not get too excited, do not forget that they are half English."
Mary, who had almost smiled at her father's reaction, had raised her eyebrows and spoke as a statement. "So they still will be a half funnier." Robert snorted, resolved not to give any other opinion and Cora and Mary exchanged an amused look.
"And where are Edith and Rose?" Cora asked them.
"Edith will teach Rose how to drive," Mary said turning her attention to the bookshelves, looking for something that could keep her interest and make the time pass faster.
"Mr. Dickens' books are on the other shelf," Robert told her without taking his eyes of the documents that he tried in vain to read.
"Thanks, Papa. But I have already found what I was looking for", she said taking one of the books from the shelf. Then she looked at Cora before leaving. "I'll be reading in the drawing-room", she said, coming out of the library and leaving them alone again.
Robert and Cora had watched her as she left the room, until he finally spoke. "She seems to be in a better mood this morning."
Cora nodded silently, hoping that Mary was finally starting to come back to life. But she feared that would happen the same as always, one day she seemed to be fine, and into the next day she closes herself in her bedroom again. Cora thought it was better to join Mary in the drawing room. She wanted to finish an embroidery in which she had been working for so long that she was getting sick of it. Only then she remembered that they hadn't finished their previous conversation.
"Robert, you have not answered my question."
He was thinking that the matter had been forgotten. "I'm sorry, my darling, but like I said, today I have already plans with Tom."
"Okay, so we can go another day." She walked to the door and said before leaving, "I'll be in the drawing-room, with Mary."
"Right. I need to review these documents. Maybe later I'll join you." He said with a smile, turning his eyes back to the pile of papers when Cora left. "Well, since this is inevitable", he thought with a sigh, trying to focus on his task.
Robert spent the next half hour trying in vain to concentrate on those documents. His thoughts were invaded all the time by images of Elizabeth and the sweet memories of a distant past.
He closed his books and decided to walk to the village. It was still early and he would be back in time for luncheon. Maybe he could pay a call to his mother or to cousin Isobel. It had been a few days since she had come to have dinner with them last time.
He had not been able to review the documents Tom had asked, but he would solve it somehow later. He warned Carson that he was going out and picking up his hat, had called Isis with a wave of his hand to which she responded immediately, already anticipating that they would go outdoors.
He crossed the gardens and followed the gravel road, watching the so familiar scenery around him. Isis was at his side, looking as it was so happy to be able enjoying that sunny morning.
Robert regretted having left Downton as soon as he set foot in the village, at the moment he saw the black car stopped on the main street. There was a lady standing outside the car, talking to a young man. Beside her was a girl who got into the car quickly, helped by the lad. The young man then turned to help her, offering her his arm so she could get in the car. She handed him her parasol, which he gave to the chauffeur for safe keeping.
He then stopped, as if his feet had suddenly grown roots and were stuck to the floor. Her face was partly covered by the hat she wore, but he recognized her immediately. Before his eyes, just a few feet away was Elizabeth Dunnington. He saw her saying something to the young man, who had smiled. And then, perhaps feeling observed, she turned her head slowly, looking straight at Robert. He saw the surprise in her eyes and the small smile that appeared on her lips as she stared at him, which made him feel a weird sensation in his stomach.
They stood there, staring at each other, for what seemed an eternity to him, but that should not have last more than one second. The passing years had been very generous to her, and she seemed to him even more beautiful than she was the last time he had seen her.
Robert knew he should have gone to them, presenting his regards, but he just could not move. Then she looked away, and leaning on the young man's arm, entered the car. The lad came soon after her, closing the door behind him and the car drove off, passing of Robert who just watched as they turned the corner and had disappeared between the houses.
The rest of the day had passed heavily, and even Tom's company did not make him forget about the brief encounter he had in that morning. Even Tom realized that he was different. "You're very quiet," he had told him at one point. Robert had given him an excuse just to avoid that Tom thought he was the reason for his glum behavior.
He needed to perk up before dinner. He knew that Cora had already noticed that he was upset, and he did not want to draw her attention to it even more. Especially because he couldn't explain himself to her.
