Back again to the present. Let's see what happen when old flames are finally face to face. And finally, a little of Robert / Cora fluff to comfort our hearts. There are more chapters to come, things will not go so easy for Robert, and we will have more Cora.
V
"And if you feel the fading of the light,
And you're too weak to carry on the fight,
And all your friends that you count on have disappeared,
I'll be here, not gone, forever, holding on"
James Morrison – I won't let you go
Robert could not remember feeling so lonely in a party before. And it seemed that every minute things got even more challenging. To the point of feeling suffocated, as if his collar shirt had suddenly shrunk.
He had gone out to the garden to breathe the cool night air. Alone. Well, not quite, he was accompanied by his ghosts and his glass of whiskey, which seemed to be the most suitable companion for him that night. He did not bother to tell anyone where he was. He was sure that, at least for a while, none of them would feel his absence.
Tom had been much of the time sitting next to them, silent and with a faraway look. He seemed to feel as uncomfortable as Robert. Except for a few dances with Edith and Rose, he had little interacted with others. Robert had only exchanged a few words with him overnight. Although their relationship had improved in recent times, with the exception of state's subjects, there were still barriers that needed to be broken between them.
Rosamund had finally engaged in a long talk with Sir Charles Berkeley. And judging by the constant exchange of smiles between the two of them, Robert suspected his sister was analyzing the prospect of having Sir Charles as a possible suitor. He was relieved by this, because he could no longer bear Rosamund's eyes constantly upon him, watching his every move.
Cora was determined not to leave Mary's side, even now, as she talked to Lord Gillingham. Robert has asked his wife to dance twice and was gently refuted both times. He came to believe that Lord Gilligham's presence would make Cora finally give in, but when he noticed the look Mary gave to her mother, with a silent plea, he saw again his invitation be declined. Perhaps Mary was not yet fully prepared yet anyway.
Edith and Rose luckily seemed to be enjoying themselves. He had seen Edith dancing with a pleased expression on her face. And Rose ... Well, he didn't know where Rose was, and just hoped deeply that she wasn't doing anything inappropriate. After all, he couldn't worry about her now. He was too busy dealing with his own doubts and mixed feelings.
He and Elizabeth were able to avoid themselves during almost the whole night, and even though their eyes had met a few times, they had exchanged no word.
Except early in the evening, when she and her sons came to greet them, brought by Lord Stratford. After the formalities of introductions and welcomes, the young Earl of San Bertazzo had thanked them for the dinner invitation at Downton and reiterated that it would be an honor to be received by them.
They had stayed with them for a while, her two sons talking with Edith and Rose, while Rosamund had taken front in the talks between the rest of them, when she realized that Robert could not articulate a single coherent sentence.
He felt immensely relieved when they had finally left them, to join a group of acquaintances who were with Lady Beatrice. There were some people there who were actually happy to see Elizabeth again, and to him, she looked glad to be back too.
As for him, well, he was definitely disturbed by being face to face with her once more. He had barely managed to chat with other people, just for fear that someone else could see what was going on inside him.
And as if that were not enough, he couldn't count on Cora. If only she gives him some attention, he would not feel like this. He needed her on his side, needed her smile and her kiss. But mostly, he needed to look into her eyes and see printed on them love she felt for him, just to reassure him that everything would be all right.
And yet there he was, walking alone through the garden trying to appease his sorrows with a glass of whisky. In fact, more than one glass, he thought as he drank the rest at once.
He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice the presence of someone standing there, partially hidden by the trees, watching the beautiful fountain and large gardens around. Both jumped back when he had almost bumped her.
"Excuse me, I ..." he could not finish because Elizabeth was staring at him, looking completely surprised to find him there. And it took a few seconds for both to recover.
"Lord Grantham," she finally said.
"Countess," he said, bowing his head slightly. "I apologize for being so clumsy. I really did not notice your presence here."
"I accept your apologies," she seemed to force a smile.
There was a long silence between them, their eyes fixed on each others. Robert felt that there was so much he wanted to tell her, but at the same time, there was nothing that could be said. And even though he would know what to say, he was not able to think clearly enough. If it was because the alcohol excess or the effect of her over him, he did not know.
"It's odd to call you Lord Grantham," she said, after a while, with a shy smile, but one he knew to be for real. "Lord Grantham has always been your father."
He nodded slowly, looking down with a grin. Some things may never change anyway.
"And you're still the same rebel."
"No. By no means," she told him, and adding when she saw the amused expression on his face. "Well, maybe in the past. Not any more."
He nodded silently, watching the water at the fountain in front of them. She had pretty much dominated his thoughts in those last days, bringing up long forgotten memories, reliving feelings he could not explain. Life had led them by the separate paths. But he wasn't sorry. It was impossible to regret. He was sure that, despite the recent painful losses, he had received from life more than he deserved. But yet, looking at her now, made him think about dreams they once had about a future together, full of possibilities, painfully interrupted. He shook his head slightly, as if to move away those thoughts.
"Your eldest son..." he looked at her again, his eyes narrowing.
"Francesco," she said, knowing what he would say before he even spoke.
"Francesco," he repeated. "It's amazing his resemblance to..."
"James," she added, and Robert smiled, nodding before continuing.
"Suddenly, it was like being face to face with your brother again."
"I know. And in a certain way, this is comforting." She smiled softly with a wistful expression in her eyes. "You should talk to him. You will notice that he has the same joyful and irreverent James' personality." And then added, with the same playful glow in her eyes he had seen so many times in the past. "Fortunately, we have to thank for having between Rosamund and him a respectable age difference, or else we would back those so warm disagreements."
He smiled at the remembrance of the endless disputes between James and Rosamund. She also should have noticed the similarity between the two. It was impossible not to remember James looking at young Francesco, who should now have the same age as James when he had died. His gaze turned back to Elizabeth. She was still a disturbingly beautiful woman. Lowering his guard for the first time that night, he let his eyes wander by her face for a brief moment.
"Are you happy?" He asked suddenly, and added when she looked momentarily confused, "By being back?"
"Yes," she said lowering her eyes, a twinge of sadness in her voice as she continued. "This was my father's dream. Regain his ancestor's house, his house. He could never realize it. But despite being happy to finally return to Haxby, it was painful to enter again in that house without my parents, without James. "There were tears in her eyes when she looked at him once more. And on an impulse, Robert took her hand and squeezed it gently, comforting her.
She closed her eyes for a second, his touch was too overwhelming, bringing out emotions that she didn't know how to control. Then she freed her hand from his, gently.
"I need to go back," she said finally, and he nodded slowly, watching her cross the garden. Then he realized, feeling uneasy, Cora was standing at the balcony, watching them. He saw her and Elizabeth met and exchanged a few words before Elizabeth disappeared through the balcony door.
Cora had arrived on the balcony in time to see Elizabeth say something to Robert and move away. She felt a strange feeling, as if something was amiss, when she had met her a minute ago. But she chose to ignore that feeling while walking towards Robert.
She had left him too long on his own that night, while doing her best to keep Mary at ease. She was a little surprised by his behavior, that rather than socialize with the other guests at the party, had spent most of the time around them, like a dog without an owner. Robert was not a big partier, as some of his friends, but he used to enjoy in social events. She smiled at him when he met half way.
"There you are," she said, approaching him, the soft glow in her eyes making him feel completely guilty. She touched his cheek lovingly and he covered her hand with his. And then she looked at him in that way that always made his heart beat faster in his chest. That was all he had longed for all night. And all he wanted was to kiss her and forget how foolish he was for letting old wounds interfere in their lives.
"Are you alright?" She asked, and then she looked at the empty glass he still had in his hand. "Robert, how much did you drink?"
"A little," he replied with a sheepish look. And when she narrowed her eyes in question, he chastised himself. "Well, maybe a little more than a little."
She chuckled softly. "I hope that was not enough to prevent you dancing with me," she told him with a teasing grin. "You still owe me a dance."
"Do I?" He narrowed his eyes and took a step toward her, shortening the distance between them in an almost reprehensible way. "Do I owe you a dance?"
She simply nodded slowly, noticing the tiny smile curving the corners of his lips. He handed her his glass to hold it, which she did without anticipating his thoughts. He then leaned over to her and whispered in her ear, his breath making a chill in her neck. "I'll need both my hands free." Then he wrapped her waist with his arms and pulled her to him, placing a soft kiss on her lips.
Cora allowed herself to be kissed for a moment and then placed her hand on his chest, pushing him gently.
"Robert! Please behave yourself," she scolded him, but was completely betrayed by the look in her eyes, and he suppressed a smile. "And don't you think you'll get rid that easy."
"Who says I want to get rid?" He smiled, taking back his glass from her hands, and offering his arm to her to hold as he guided her back to the ballroom.
"Mary?"
"With Lord Gillingham."
"Dancing?", he raised a brow.
"No. Just talking. Tom had joined them."
"Remind me to thank him", he said, with a satisfied look in his eyes.
"Why?"
They had come in again, and Robert finally got rid of the empty glass leaving it on a table. He looked at her, smiling, as he led her to the ballroom, unable to stop thinking about how he needed her.
"By allowing me finally to dance with my lovely wife."
