I'm sorry for being a little late with my update - I visited Berlin with a friend, and it was totally awesome - however, I'm updating now.

Thanks to those who read, fav'd, alerted and especially to those who reviewed!


"So, tell me, darling - why did you pick Muggle Studies?"

I raised my head and looked at my grandmother. My mother sighed heavily. At least once during the holidays, my grandparents decided that they wanted to see me. And though they despised my parents – their own daughter after all – they couldn't do it without inviting them, too.

"Well, I... I guess I know muggle life, so I'm quite sure I'll get good grades."

"I don't see why any wizard or witch should know about muggles. They're just worthless..."

"Mother!"

My eyes locked with those of my grandmother. "Ah, you have to know your enemy."

Nana grinned. "See, Lucida, the girl has the right spirit."

My mother eyed me disappointedly. She just didn't get it. Whenever you live in a society, you have to adjust. I was adjusting perfectly.

"I'm quite disappointed, though, that she didn't go to Slytherin."

"Well," my father mumbled. "She practically did."

My grandmother frowned and I shrugged. "I have some friends there. I wouldn't say I'm practically a Slytherin."

"Proud to be a Ravenclaw?"

My eyes wandered to my grandfather who had for the first time taken the word. "I wouldn't say that either. I don't think that in Ravenclaw anyone is truly ever proud. At least not of anything besides the own intellect."

"That's because there are so many mudbloods in this house. What should they be proud of?"

"Gramps, please. Don't call them like that."

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't object. My mother looked at me in confusion.

"So, and you're surely good at school?"

I nodded, but didn't bother to answer. Instead my father muttered: "She's top of her year. With that boy, what's his name, honey? He helps her a lot, obviously."

"His name's Tom. And actually, we help each other. Sometimes, I'm better than him. Like in Transfiguration."

"A boy?" my grandmother asked. "Do I have to tell you, that...?"

"I'm thirteen, nana. Please."

I turned my attention to the window and the peaceful nature outside. Why couldn't it be like that in here? I longed for peace... for warmth. Most of all, I longed for a friend right now.


"What do you think when you're saying things like that?"

"Like what, mother?" I sat across from here in the compartment and looked at her with lazy curiosity.

"Like saying muggles are our enemies."

"I'm adjusting, mother. Most wizards and witches believe that we should keep from them as they persecuted us for centuries."

"Because they are afraid! Besides, that doesn't make the muggle-borns any less magical."

I just shrugged. I didn't feel like arguing right now. Of course, I didn't have anything against muggle-borns. I was adapting this Slytherin way of talking, though.

"I don't like that you hang out so much with Slytherins. They have a bad influence on you."

"Tom's my best friend, mother. I will not keep away from him."

"You will, young lady, or..."

"Or what?" I asked my father and he stared at me in surprise. "You gonna do what? If you would like to recall, I'll be at Hogwarts, far away from you and I will do as I please. And besides: what could you do? You abandoned magic. I didn't. I never will. Don't think you can order me around."


"Don't be like that, tell us how your summer was."

"I told you I don't want to talk about it."

Lydia looked at me with concern. I had decided to sit with them on the train because I wanted to keep the friendship up. At least two Ravenclaws I got along with.

"Just go ahead. We are friends."

"I told you I don't want to!"

Olive sighed. "You're in a mood."

"I spent the last months with my freaking blood-traitor family; of course I'm in a mood!"

They stared at me. "You don't mean what you're saying."

I groaned and got up. "Mind you, you have to know."

Lydia sighed heavily as I left. I marched through the wagon, careful not to bump into some children, obviously first years, which were running around.

I leant next to a window as I had passed them.

"Now look at that, not with your friends?"

I looked up and saw Abraxas Malfoy standing in front of me. "We had a little quarrel."

"I thought that. We're just sitting over there. Want to join in?"

I eyed him suspiciously. "Tom's with you, I suppose?"

"Of course."

"He sent you?"

Abraxas blinked, obviously startled that I had figured that out. "I... well."

"Don't bother. I don't expect you to be nice."

He frowned and I followed him to the compartment. Tom smiled at me with genuine delight and I let myself fall into the seat next to him.

"I missed you."

"Yeah? I take it you had a bad summer then."

"Well. My grandparents absolutely loved me for when I said something against muggles. But then they really freaked out about the fact that we are friends. You know boy-girl-stuff. And my parents absolutely freaked out because I said something against muggles. So, I had a really bad summer."

Alphard Black, who sat opposite to me, simply shrugged. "That's just life with some blood-traitors. Nothing unusual."

Everyone else looked at me with a slight hint of concern. Usually, I would always protest. This time, I really didn't feel like it. "Tell me about it."

After a few moments of awkward silence, the other Slytherins started to laugh and I rested my head on Tom's shoulder. "I'm so happy to go back."

"A little tired?"

"Just a little."


"Tell me, Miss Riley, any news about your dear grandfather?"

"He told me to tell you his greetings. He's very fond of the fact that you're... still a teacher here."

I had wanted to say that you're my teacher. But I didn't want to sound like I was relying on his good connections. I wasn't. I didn't want a great career in the ministry. At least – I couldn't imagine it now. I was only thirteen!

"I can believe that. And your parents, how are they?"

"Fine, Sir."

"Still, not magical?"

"Pity, but yes, I'm afraid so, Sir."

He sighed heavily. "It really is a pity. Both your father and your mother were very promising students. Good family, you see, and smart."

"I'll tell them. They'll rejoice." I was sure as hell that they wouldn't – quite the opposite, probably – but I wanted to end the subject. All this talking of my family made me uncomfortable and only reminded the others that I technically was a blood-traitor.

"And Lestrange, what about..."

Slughorn finally turned his attention to someone else and I noticed Tom's sympathetic smile. He himself hadn't been questioned, seen as he had no news of interest for Slughorn. Lucky him.

When Lestrange had at long last finished talking about his parents, his uncles and all the other relatives that had sent their greetings to Slughorn, the Professor finally let us go.

I jumped up and left, Tom following straight behind me. "What's that with you? You're not usually that bored by the meetings."

I turned around and shrugged. "I just... I can't keep on hearing about all those others and how they live their normal pureblood life and... and me? Why the hell did I have to be born to the greatest blood-traitors of all?"

"Better than not knowing your family at all."

I regretted my words at once. "You'll find them, sooner or later."

"What makes you so sure?"

"That you want it. Tom Riddle always gets what he wants."

He smirked at me and nodded.


I sat in the common room and lazily waved my wand to let my quill scribble on its own while I silently dictated. DADA-essays sucked, of what use were they? I much more appreciated practicability.

"When will you have finished?" Lydia sat next to me.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Olive and I wondered..."

"If I could help? Sorry. I have a lot to do and I won't write your essays. Teachers will notice."

"I wasn't to ask for that."

I stayed silent and waited, my quill bumping up and down for it had nothing to do.

"No, we wondered whether you would go to Hogsmeade with us?"

"I won't go to Hogsmeade."

"Why?"

I sighed and muttered: "Finite." The quill dropped on the essay. Obviously this conversation was going to take longer.

"As I already said, I have a lot to do. I can't fool around in that one pony town."

"You have to relax a bit! Let go, enjoy yourself! You gonna go mad if you keep on..."

"I have to keep up. You know, it doesn't come from nothing to be that good."

"You want to keep up with Riddle?"

I sighed. I wasn't up for a Tom-is-not-good-for-you-type of argument right now. "Well, he obviously sets the mark."

"You want to impress him."

"I don't need to impress him, Lydia. I just need to get good grades."

I waved my wand once again and the quill rose. "A werewolf will never actually..." I dictated.

"You're so stubborn," she shrieked, interrupting me while the quill noted down her words.

"No," I muttered. Delete that," I ordered and the whole phrase disappeared.


"Please, Miss Riley. It's teapot to tortoise."

My eyes wandered from Professor Dumbledore to the teapot in front of me and I pointed my wand it. I whispered the incantation and the teapot transformed. My tortoise was perfect. I hadn't had a doubt about it, I had practiced like mad. My goal for Transfiguration was an O. And better than Tom, though that was only an extra-point.

"Perfect. Outstanding."

I cheered. "Thank you, Professor."

"Not thanks to me, my dear, only thanks to you."

I left the room and found Tom waiting for me. "So?"

"What do you think?"

"I think it would be a shame if you would get any less than an O."

"Well, good thing I didn't get any less."

He grinned at me. "Knew it."

"Yourself?"

"Only got the E."

I pitied him a little bit, but he soon cheered up. He was top in everything else, why bother with Transfiguration?

"Lorraine! Lorrie! Come on, we're celebrating the end of exams."

I quickly exchanged a look with Tom and he smiled encouragingly. Apparently, he didn't mind my going. He had his own friends after all. I joined Olive and Lydia and some other Ravenclaws and we went outside to the lake.

"Are you happy with your grades?" Olive asked me and I nodded.

"Very much so."

"Well, I failed Divination. But after all, who does not?"

I laughed shortly and lay down on the grass as so many others did. I realized once again how much I despised going home. It didn't feel like it – my parents, my siblings, the tiny house – it didn't feel like home. Hogwarts was my home. Why did I have to leave?

I sat up again and found the others chatting about their plans for the holidays. Quite the opposite of me. Sometimes I wondered how I could so not fit with them, seen as the Sorting Hat had placed me in the same house. I would probably never figure it out.


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