VII
"Give a little time to me, or burn this out,
We'll play hide and seek, to turn this around,
All I want is the taste that your lips allow"
Ed Sheeran – Give Me Love
They had gone to London a few days later, taking Mary, Tom and babies with them. Cora had managed to convince everyone that it would be better for them spending some time in London during the season, even with Robert disagreement, who was afraid to expose Mary to situations for which she wasn't ready yet.
Mary seemed to be recovering bit by bit, and sometimes even enjoying herself. And Cora and Robert saw with good eyes Lord Gilligham's subtle interest in their eldest daughter. Fortunately, Lord Gilligham seemed to be a sensitive man, and was being, mainly, a good friend to Mary.
Robert on the other hand seemed ever more distant, Causing Cora sometimes felt as if they had gone back in time to the early months of their marriage, when Robert was always kind and thoughtful, but was always reticent.
After having attended several dinners and balls, in which he always ended up bumping into Elizabeth, Robert decided to stay at home that evening. Nothing and no one would convince him to go out, not even his wife's disappointed look. Meeting Elizabeth so often has not helped anything. But that was something he couldn't explain to Cora.
Their daughters, Rose and his son in law had not shared the same decision from him, and had gone out, leaving them alone. So dinner should be served for only two that evening.
"You did what? Your foolish young man! "The raspy voice of his mother left no doubt how much she had disapproved his attitude, and he could not fully understand why. He felt his whole self-confidence be destroyed quickly, with those few words. He looked at Rosamund, looking for help, but she seemed as surprised as their parents with he had just said to them.
"How did you dare ask Elizabeth Dunnington in marriage without our approval?" Violet continued, her exasperated expression only worsening Robert's confusion.
"When did you do it, Robert?" Lord Grantham looked at his son severely, and there was no trace of emotion that could give Robert some clue of what his father was really thinking.
"A little over a month ago. One day before..." Robert took a deep breath. It was still too painful thinking about his friend. "...Before James' accident. When it happened, well, we ... we were so devastated that made no sense to tell anyone. So we decided it was best to wait things become better. After that, I will ask for yours and Lord Dunnington's consent."
Robert had decided to tell them this morning, after his father had told him about the Lord Dunnington's failure and Haxby's sale. Elizabeth's family had gone to Italy a few weeks ago, hoping that spending some time away from Haxby could help them recover from the terrible James' loss. Now, with the Haxby's sale, they probably would not be back anytime soon. He had already enough suffering for being away from Elizabeth, and now the facts had changed everything. There seemed to make no more sense to keep it hidden from everyone. He would tell his family and then leave for Italy, to speak with Lord Dunnington. And then they could wait how long it would be necessary until everyone was feeling better to start planning the wedding preparations and settle the date. He knew his parents would not approve the fact that he kept everything hidden, but thought they would understand, given the way everything had happened. But he'd never anticipated that kind of response from them.
"Please leave us alone. I need to talk to Robert in private." Lord Grantham's face was grave, and he exchanged a look with his wife. Violet opened her mouth to say something, but given up, and with an incredulous look at Robert marched out of the library, followed by a flabbergasted Rosamund.
Robert watched them leave, and then turned his eyes to his father, feeling completely ill at ease.
"Papa, I thought..."
"Robert," he interrupted him, "please sit down. First of all, there are some things you need to know about Downton."
And then his father had told him that they were running out of money, they ran the risk of losing Downton. If they do not find a way out, within two years at most, they would be completely bankrupt. Just as Lord Dunnington. And they would be forced to leave their house, they would have to leave Downton Abbey.
Robert was too shocked by what he had just heard. His father remained silent for a long time, letting Robert absorb it altogether. But he still had more to tell him.
"After considering all the possibilities, son, I only see one way we could save Downton." His father seemed to hesitate for a moment, as if what he had to say was painful for him. "You must marry an heiress."
The shock of Robert only increased, and he stood up, feeling insulted. He would marry for sure, but with Elizabeth, and no one else. He did not care whether or not she was an heiress. What his father was asking him was inadmissible.
"You cannot ask me to sacrifice my happiness to hide your failure!" Robert told him, his voice rough, words tossed on his father angrily.
But Lord Grantham had not moved a muscle, his expression impassive. His voice was cold when he spoke again, harshly, calling him on his responsibility as the heir, telling him that the survival of the state was above any vanity or passion. They were responsible for the farmers, the employees, the residents and their own family. And they could not in any way let them down.
"I will not give up Elizabeth." Robert raised his voice, unable to control his emotions, his eyes red, his body trembling slightly.
"Robert, you can't risk everything for a frivolous infatuation. Soon you will forget her", he said to him harshly, but without raising his voice.
Robert clenched his fists, feeling his fingernails into the palms of his hands. He closed his eyes. What he felt for Elizabeth was not a frivolous infatuation.
"I will not forget Elizabeth, Papa, because I love her. And I will marry her." He turned his back to his father, trying to calm down. "I'll go to Italy as soon as possible."
"Robert, I forbid you!" Words were hard and hurting Robert's ears and heart. He looked at his father with a bitter smile. He thought of all people, his father would understand what he felt for Elizabeth. But he was wrong.
"I will marry her, with or without your consent."
Robert turned on his heels and rushed out of the library, almost bumping into his mother, who had been standing behind the door all the time, listening to their conversation. He looked at her without saying anything, his face flushed with wrath, his eyes filled with tears, and walked away quickly climbing the stairs to his room.
Violet walked into the library to find her husband shaken, sitting on the couch. She sat down beside him and held his hand with affection, and felt that he was trembling.
"It tears me apart doing this with him, Violet." Lord Grantham said in a low voice.
"I know, dear," she looked at him, without finding words to comfort him. But we have no choice, do we? "
"I'm afraid not."
There was a long silence between them before Violet could speak again. "Will you stop him from going to Italy?"
Lord Grantham took a deep breath. He doubted he could hold him back from going after Elizabeth. He could not keep him in Downton against his will. But he suddenly knew what he should do.
"No, I can't stop him. But I will send Richard a telegram explaining everything. He'll do the right thing."
"Do you think Richard will be against this marriage too?"
He shook his head slowly, affirmatively. "Richard knows our financial condition as well as I knew his. And he knows how is to lose a home." Lord Graham looked at his wife, and she recognized the sadness in his eyes. "He will agree that prevent this marriage is the best thing to do. Richard knows that, after all, the only chance of his daughters have now is making a good marriage." He paused before continuing. "And he would not want one of his daughters marrying the son of a broken Earl. Not even one who is a great friend."
Rosamund had heard enough from his father and brother conversation to be completely traumatized. When her mother walked into the library, she left her hiding place and held her mother's old position, leaning her ear to the library's door. And now she felt mortified at what she had heard. It was all too much for her, and she didn't know what to think.
She was startled when her father opened the door surprising her standing there. There was a coldness in his eyes when he spoke.
"How much did you hear?" He asked her sharply.
"Enough," she said in a small voice, her frightened eyes staring at his father.
"Then you know you must keep silent," he told her, giving her his back and leaving her there, still numbed with everything she had heard.
Cora had joined him in the drawing-room, just before dinner. He had spent most of the day in the library, hiding from everyone, trying to read a book without much success. He had moved to the drawing-room in the middle of the afternoon, thinking that a change of airs would help him in his reading.
From the corner of his eye, he saw her come in and sit on the settee exactly in front of him, but he tried to keep focused on his book. He had already lost count of how many times, in the last hour, he had had to reread the same passages, due to his errant thoughts. But he was persistent, and he would finish that damned chapter.
After some time, Robert finally realized Cora's silence, and felt her eyes fixed upon him. That was not helping at all his readings efforts. He placed the book in his lap and looked at her. Cora raised her eyebrows, silently inquiring him, and he looked at her blankly.
"Did not you hear the dressing gong?"
Robert thought about it for a second. He had not heard it. He pulled his watch from his waistcoat pocket and startled to see what time it was.
"No," he told her saving the watch back in his pocket and standing up. Then he looked at her again. "Looks like you didn't hear it either." He sat down again on the sofa, under Cora's curious gaze.
"And you will not go to change for dinner?" She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Since will we be just the two of us for dinner, maybe we can make an exception, just today?" He said, forcing a smile.
Cora crossed his arms in front of her chest and looked at him with a serious expression on her face. Despite this, her voice was soft and gentle when she spoke.
"You didn't accept my invitation to walk in the morning, refused to accompany us to the tea house in the afternoon, and then decided not to go to the ball this evening. The only thing that is left now is to have a proper dinner. And I definitely want you dressed appropriately for this, Robert Crawley."
Robert raised his eyebrows, a little surprised. Hearing his wife call him by his full name was not a good thing. Never really was. He opened his mouth to protest, but was held back by her gaze and he shut his mouth once more. Since she said nothing, he tried once more.
"Then I have no choice?" He asked her, risking a conciliatory smile.
"You already made too many choices for today, Robert." Her face's expression softened and he thought he saw a good humored glint in her eyes. But he decided not to push his luck any further. She was still standing in front of him with his arms crossed, waiting for him to stand up. And he was in no mood to buy any argument, even more for so little. Although he couldn't admit it aloud, but she was probably right, they deserved to have a nice dinner after all.
So, giving up, he sighed and stood up. He left the book on the chair and walked past her, watching her from the corner of his eyes. When he turned his back to her, Cora rolled her eyes and shook her head, following him through the door. "Well, so far so good," she thought, a small smile on her lips.
The decision to stay at home that evening was his, but maybe it had been for the good. With everyone out, they could enjoy spending time in each other's company without worrying about anyone else. And she was really ready to make that time was as enjoyable as possible.
Later, she heard the knock on his dressing room's door. She dismissed Edna with a smile, and sat on her dresser as she adjusted the pins from her hair to her own way.
"Come in," she said at the same time that Robert entered the room, still in time to see Edna leaving.
She saw through the mirror, his eyes soften when he looked at her. She had chosen a new night dress, black and gray, with an intricate embroidered with pearls in the chest, sleeveless, which left her delicate arms exposed. She had reserved it for a special occasion. And she had decided that tonight would be special.
She put on her gloves slowly, feeling Robert's eyes upon her, and then turned in her chair, facing him. She smiled back at him and stood up. He studied her in silence, his eyes moving up and down along her figure, as if absorbing every detail of her.
"You look beautiful," he murmured, and Cora walked towards the door past him, intentionally very close, enough to brush gently along his arm, and touch his hand with the tips of her gloved fingers.
She opened the door and turned to look at him, who was still standing in the same spot, just watching her, a glint in his eyes.
"Shall we?" She asked him with a grin. And Robert just nodded slowly walking over to her.
He closed the door behind him, and held out his arm for her to hold, with a smile. Cora admired for a few seconds the beauty and intensity of those blue eyes that were still able to take her breath away. After holding his arm, they went down the stairs slowly.
Since being only the two of them, they went straight to the dining room where Carson was already waiting for them. She flirted openly with Robert during dinner, even as she told him the day's events he had lost. And she knew just by the intensity of his gaze that she was getting the desired impression upon him.
After dinner they went to the drawing-room, where she had asked Carson to leave a bottle of champagne, instead of his usual brandy. Robert poured two flutes, handing one to her with a charming smile.
Recent events had not left them much time for romance. And she had missed so much that look and that smile that always had made her feel like the most special of the women. He sat down on the couch next to her, covering her hand with his, gently, his eyes locked on hers. And Cora tilted her head slightly, smiling at him before drinking a sip of chilled champagne.
They hadn't abandoned completely their usual night (or early morning) encounters, but it had happened much less frequent lately. And there was little room for romance, since she was always very tired or too much concerned. It had become an almost mechanical thing, mostly to fulfill their physical needs and desires. But they both know they needed so much more than that.
She felt his eyes sliding on her face, in a silent caress, and he leaned toward her slowly, placing a soft kiss on her cheek and then kissing her lips, warmly. There was a gentle smile on her lips when they moved apart.
"After all," he told her softly, "have stayed home this evening doesn't it seem more to be a bad idea, does it?"
"Absolutely not."
Robert nodded with a smile, touching her face gently.
"I dismissed Bates and Edna earlier tonight," she said softly as she sipped her champagne. Robert looked at her, momentarily confused.
"Did you dismiss my valet?" He repeated, still not understanding why she had done it.
He could not possibly be serious. She searched his face for some sign that he was teasing her. One arched eyebrow, a narrowed eye, or that almost imperceptible smile that used to form in the corner of his lips in moments like those. But there was nothing there. He was very serious. "Thirty years of marriage and there were still times when Robert did not seem to be able doing the math," she thought. But maybe it was her fault. She had relegated him to the background for so long that he probably would not be expecting it. So maybe she should try a more direct approach.
She touched his face gently, letting his fingers slide down through his cheek, tracing the outline of his lower lip with her finger. She approached him, leaving a tiny space between their faces, whispering into his lips, "I thought maybe you would prefer another person to help you to undress." She saw his eyes lighting up, and Robert reached out to hold her waist, but she escaped from his grasp and walked to the door, turning to him with a teasing smile.
This time nothing needed to be said. Robert took two steps toward her, but suddenly turned back to pick up the two flutes and the bottle of champagne. He walked to the door and held it with one foot, preventing her from to open it. And then he leaned toward her, his lips seeking desperately for her. But Robert was at a disadvantage, with both hands full, and she again escaped him, tilting her head, still smiling.
"Please, don't do this to me," he said in a whisper, the glare of his eyes seeming to increase with his desire.
Cora then puts her arms around his neck, and brushed her lips against his, biting his lower lip slightly, provocatively. He took another step toward her, trapping her between him and the door. And when he pressed his lips to hers, she felt his tongue asking for passage and opened her lips to him, as he increased the intensity of the kiss.
After a moment, she pulled away from him, attempting to catch her breath. She then slid to the side, opening the door and he followed her upstairs to her room, shutting the door behind him with his foot.
He quickly got rid of the bottle and the glasses, putting them on the bedside table, and then turned his eyes back to her.
Robert walked toward Cora, pulling her close to him by her waist, gently but firmly. He did not want to give her any chances to escape from his grasp again, for more exciting that little game had been. He pressed his body to hers, kissing her, tasting her lips, his hands sliding down her body gently, as he felt increasing the intensity of their kiss. His fingers slid down her back searching for her dress' buttons, which he hastily unbuttoned. His lips moved apart and he could see his own desire reflected in her eyes as she got rid of his jacket and undone his waistcoat buttons.
She helped him with the cufflinks and tie, and he again pulled her to him, his lips and tongue sliding down her neck, his hand reaching for her naked back, and he felt her shiver slightly when his tongue touched her earlobe.
Cora began to unbutton his shirt, and then, with an abrupt gesture opened it at once, and Robert saw the buttons spread across the room's floor. She looked at him with a provocative expression on her face, her eyes gleaming. And he felt his desire for her increasing, as she slid her hands inside his open shirt, caressing his shoulders and his bare chest, the warmth of her hands burning his skin.
He helped her undress her night dress and her corset and got rid of his shirt, lifting her in his arms. He carried her to the bed, placing her gently, covering her body with his. He traced a trail with his lips running through her neck to her breasts, making her moan softly as he explored her nipple with his tongue.
The last pieces of clothing were hastily withdrawn between caresses and ever more ardent kisses. He felt the warmth and softness of her skin against his, felt her whole body reacting to his touches, increasingly more and more his desire for her to the point of having to make a big effort not to lose the little self-control he still held.
Then he lifted his head enough to look into her eyes, before penetrating her, and there was in them a silent and desperate plea.
Later that night, as she lay in his arms, her head resting on his chest, he could hear her soft and rhythmic breathing. His his hand gently glided up and down through her back, feeling the warmth of her body next to him, her legs entwined with his. And there, while holding in his arms the woman he loved, feeling how much his heart belonged to her, Robert cannot stop thinking about how, despite everything, life was still able to give him so perfect moments like that.
