A/n: [PastelHair!Draco/Dom!Draco/Pierced!Harry] This chapter (like the last) is going to focus more on our Prince of Slyhterin, his thoughts and how he is handling himself as he falls for Harry.

Warnings: Depression and mention of abuse, please (please) be advised if you're not comfortable with this type of writing. Rated: MA.

A/U. DracoxHarry. I don't own Harry Potter or his emotional trauma that came after the war. Oops.

"Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die, I'm a little bit scared of what comes after." - Jesus Christ, Brand New


Important Author Note: I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be that writer that is over the top with disclosing information or anything too revealing within the story but I want to make sure before you continue to this chapter you are prepared. Please, please, please, be advised that there is going to be mention of sexual, physical and emotional abuse in this chapter and if you.. if you.. just please take the proper precautions to read/when reading. I am sorry if you think this is over reacting in anyway, or puts you off from continuing I just want to be upfront and honest with you and the situation. I had to take a few breaks whilst writing, I want to be honest so you can be prepared if there is anything that can harm you, trigger you or put you in a dark place.

Thank you ~kiz


Harry shifted off the floor and bent down grabbing Draco under his arms, with a heave he had the man pulled up and with another he was cradling the blonde against his chest. Harry was still stronger than Draco even after he had lost the weight he had, and moved slowly to lay the man down. He wasn't sure just how long the two had sat there on the floor or even when Draco had fallen asleep because Harry was pretty sure he had cried even while he slept.

Harry took his time to lay Draco on the bed, then undressed him - barely - it was really just him taking his shoes off, then his jumper and lastly his jeans leaving him curled on his side and under the covers. He took a moment, hovering over the bed to watch the way Draco reached for his pillow and buried his nose against it before relaxing again. Harry didn't want to wake him up just yet for more than one reason, one being he knew Draco was exhausted, two he wasn't mentally ready himself for that conversation they were going to have to have.

Harry could gather what the gist of it was, but clearly there was something he didn't know and it could wait for a little later. He stripped his jeans, kicking his shoes away then crawled up on the bed next to Draco, curling into his side and laying his head on the blonde's chest.

When Draco woke he knew it was late, mostly because of the fact he was alone. He laid back on his back and stared up at the dark ceiling above his head taking a moment to stretch freezing when he realized he wasn't wearing pants. He sat up quickly and saw his t-shirt was in place before realizing Harry must have taken his jumper (and jeans) off for him. Upon standing he took a moment to assess the room and opened a drawer of Harry's to find something to wear. Deciding upon a pair of Harry's sleep pants he pulled them on having to tie the strings and then roll them once before opening the armoire and finding it full of sweaters. They were knitted and looked very homemade but the moment Draco saw them all he fell in love.

They were adorable, they looked cozy and he reached out plucking a dark blue one from the middle before pulling it over his head, a large 'H' was knitted in the middle of the sweater and he was elated as he hugged it to himself then he set out to find Harry. It wasn't too hard to navigate through the place he knew there were only a few places he could be and he had already passed two. The bathroom and the front room so now he stopped at the kitchen, finally checking the time by the large clock on the wall that told him it was in fact late, almost one.

He pushed the door to the kitchen open and saw the one he was looking for, Harry was sitting at the table with a mug of tea and someone Draco didn't know or recognize, "Draco," Harry greeted him with a wide smile making a move to stand as the boy walked through the door, "how'd you sleep?"

Draco cleared his throat, before nodding, "okay, well enough. Sorry, I can..."

"No," Harry was quick to step around the edge of the table and held his hand out for the other, "mm, good morning," he whispered to the blonde taking the hand and pulling him to a chair next to him before sitting back down Draco could feel the other shiver as soon as they touched and smirked to himself. Harry was good at putting on a show them and cleared his throat looking away, "Molly this is Draco Malfoy, I don't believe you two have officially met?" He asked before turning to Draco, "Molly Weasley."

"Oh?" Draco raised an eyebrow before giving a small smile, "Mrs. Weasley."

"Hi Draco," she was grinning, "Can I make you some tea or anything, dear?"

"No, no," Draco shook his head and shifted in the chair, "I'm okay, just waking up."

Harry took a drink from his cuppa and smiled, "Molly made me that sweater," he started, "all of them up there, actually."

Molly chuckled, "my specialty."

"It's very warm, and comfortable," Draco answered watching the two smile at each other, he felt a bit awkward if he was honest here Draco Malfoy was in the kitchen of Harry Potter's looking thoroughly just woke with Mother Weasley, his es's mother.

And then as if continuing the conversation they had just abandoned she spoke, "so, anyway, McGonagall mentioned you two were hanging out."

"Ah," Harry nodded slowly, "it's true, obviously, but nothing to worry about. Draco actually suggested we sign out." He paused and glanced over at the man, "apparently our clingy friends were worried."

Draco chuckled, "figured."

"Well, I'll be sure to tell her to expect you back to classes Monday morning," Molly started giving another smile at the two which fell when Harry shook his head.

"Y'know, actually Molly, don't. I don't plan on going back," he explained, "Draco may but I don't think I will."

"Harry?"

"I just don't think it's what I want," Harry shook his head, "and boyfriend boyfriend over here keeps telling me to do what I want. I think he's right."

Draco chuckled and rubbed Harry's back softly, Molly looked between the two curiously before chuckling, "I hate to say I didn't want to believe it when Hermione wrote," Molly started, "but this is the happiest I've seen him in years..."

Harry flushed, looking away, "thanks Molly."

"Draco, are you going back?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "yeah I will be back."

Molly pushed up from her seat and Harry hurried to his feet accepting the hug, "alright boys, I'll let them know you'll be back Draco for classes on Monday."

"Thank you," Draco had stood as well and before he knew it he was pulled into a hug by Molly.

"Hang on to him, Draco," she whispered then stepped back with a grin, "see ya boys."

When the door was closed Draco glanced over, he felt oddly shy about last night but when he looked at Harry he saw the Gryffindor was smiling like a madman, "good morning."

"Good afternoon," Draco reached out slowly and stroked the man's face, "how about lunch?"

"Mm?" Harry grinned, "we gotta cook ourselves."

Draco looked around, his eyebrow raised, "what?"

"Kreacher," Harry barely whispered his name, "he's old, it hurts his legs to move."

"Oh," the blonde chuckled and turned around to look at the kitchen, "Potter, I can't cook y'know..."

"I figured," Harry teased, stepping around the man, "lucky for you my Aunt and Uncle made me cook for them, there are a few things I'm capable of doing."

Draco blinked a few times trying to wrap his mind around what Harry had just said, "made you cook?" His anger grew instantly, "made you cook?! Like you're some kinda servant?"

"Well," Harry shrugged, "it's in the past, Draco, really it's fine."

"It may be 'in the past' but that is absolutely ridiculous!" Draco was livid, his eyes narrowed.

"Ok," Harry blinked a few times, "honestly, it's okay just calm down."

"That is quite the opposite of okay, Potter!"

"Hey, calm down," Harry was growing frantic, he hadn't seen Draco mad much. The last time he did they two of them got into an argument and didn't talk for almost a week, "please?"

The blonde sighed and blew out a quiet breath, "don't think you have to cook okay?"

"I don't," Harry answered quickly, "honestly, I'm getting hungry too."

"Mm," Draco hummed and sat back in the chair, "alright." Harry let out the breath he had been hold, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth and giving his lip ring a small tug. He turned his back to the other and started collecting ingredients to make waffles and had just started when Draco spoke up again, "when did you get your lip pierced?"

"Well, I don't remember exactly I think in the end of June." He answered, "I had been doing my shopping at a Muggle town to avoid attention, and one night I saw a guy who had some piercings and I asked him about them. He took me to a shop and they did it."

"Why'd you do it?"

"I..." Harry, using his wand, closed the waffle iron and turned to look at the other, "I thought it would hurt."

"Oh."

"It didn't, I didn't even feel it. It was like a small sting and and then they were done, I was going to take it out when I got home but when I looked in the mirror I liked it." Harry lifted his top lip in a small smile, "I thought it looked kinda devil-may-care and when I gave it a tug it started bleeding."

Draco blinked, but remained quiet just watching.

"Of course it takes more now for it to bleed, but I don't mind."

"You do it when you get upset," Draco answered the statement, "like last night in the Tower, a few times that Granger and Weasle annoy you.. When I don't talk to you."

Harry chuckled and turned back to the waffle, pulling it off and placing it on a plate before making another. "I don't have much else to hang on to anymore, now that I don't drink that much."

"You still drink though."

"I'm trying to stop," Harry answered quietly, not looking at the other, "I, at least, take it away."

"I hate when you do that."

Harry was taking the second waffle from the iron when he heard him, and turned around with both plates not at all sure if he should acknowledge he heard it, it was quiet. Like an escaped thought and when he glanced at the blonde he could tell Draco had not intended to say it. His eyes were directed to the table and his hands closed in front of him tightly.

"Alright, waffles," Harry sat the plates down and moved over across from the other, "if you don't like them I'll tell you to take your spoiled ass elsewhere."

"I doubt it." Draco smirked, glancing up before picking up his fork, "so you're not going back?"

"No, I don't want to," Harry sighed, "I hate that place, Draco. I used to love it but now I hate it."

"This is different, isn't it?"

"What part?"

"Us," Draco chuckled, "you call me Draco all the time now, not just when you're drinking and we have actual conversations... I don't know, it feels different."

"I guess that's what happens when you date?"

"We should have done this first."

Harry blinked, his eyes trained to the other, "what do you mean?"

Draco shrugged, "I don't know, never mind." He shouldn't have said that, and the longer he was sitting at this table he thought he shouldn't have even come home with Harry. They should have gone to the Room of Requirement or even just back to the dorms and never put themselves in this position. They weren't ready for it, Harry was a pile of nerves and Draco was too. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this way and he didn't want to.

"Everything okay Draco?" Harry asked with a quiet voice, he had stopped eating and was watching the other.

"Fine," Draco nodded, "I just don't feel well," he lied, "do you mind if I shower?"

"Of course not," Harry shook his head, "I'll leave you to it."

Draco's smile was forced and fleeting as he pushed to his feet and hurried out of the room, leaving Harry to clean up. He hurried up the stairs and grabbed his clothing from the night before then to the bathroom shutting and locking the door behind him. He was quickly growing unstable, where Harry couldn't wait to get out of Hogwarts... Draco couldn't wait to get in. He didn't really have a home now, he didn't have a family - for the better, and he didn't have protection. Hogwarts was his home, his family was there - Pansy and Blaise, and he was protected. It wasn't like he was desirable number one or anything.

His emotional outburst from last night was weighing on his mind, and on top of that Harry saying he wasn't going back to school. He was lost and Draco wasn't used to being lost.

He wasn't used to being out of control, with anything, but right now he was roaming in the dark without a light and he wasn't sure if he could handle it but how could he ask Harry to come back with him and more importantly the two had a conversation to have but they both were doing their best to talk around it which was apparently something Draco didn't want to do as he kept spouting out free information like Harry was begging him for it.

And he wasn't, the Gryffindor hadn't asked for a single thing. Which, to add to everything else, was just as weird. Harry always wanted more, always. Draco growled his fist banging against the shower tile which only hurt himself more than anything else his pale skin growing red and bruised already, the blonde sagged back into the water shutting his eyes.

I can do this, just... talk to him. He thought to himself as he leaned into the warm stream, just calm down and talk to him, it's just Harry out there. He's the nervous one anyway, not you. It was partially true at least, Harry was nervous - always, just as nervous as Draco was right now.

When he finished his shower he took his time to dress and join the other, it wasn't enough to calm himself but he was working on it though he was thoroughly thrown off when he saw a side door was opened and glanced in to see Harry leaning over a desk in a room stacked and cluttered with books all over the place.

"Feel better?" Harry asked looking up after a moment, "can't sneak up on me, Malfoy."

"I see that, I have yet to."

Harry grinned, "this is the library, I had intended to clean it up over the summer but I spent more time drunk then I did going through the books." He explained, "but I remembered something the other day at school, during Potions. Y'know..." he flushed, glancing away.

"I remember the class I imagine you're talking about."

Harry cleared his throat, "well, uh... anyway," he turned away, "c'mere, you might appreciate it even more than me."

Draco joined him and looked down in question before gasping, "is that a journal by Merlin?!"

Harry chuckled, "I thought you might like it," he took a moment to watch Draco's face light up until the blonde glanced over catching him and quickly shading back to normal, "it's okay to be happy around me, Malfoy."

"Mm," Draco looked back at the journal and reached out touching a page, "it's preserved very well, Potter."

"Most of the books are," he nodded up at the shelves, "I haven't found a bad one yet."

"That's amazing, especially something this old."

Harry shrugged, "Hermione would have a hay-day in here."

"She hasn't been in here?"

"No, not but a few moments," he shook his head, Draco sat on the chair and reached out pulling Harry to his lap feeling the brunette flush instantly his body heat radiating from his back against his chest. Draco ran his fingers up against Harry's shoulders and rubbed them softly before down his side and to his hips kneading his fingers into the others back, "I like when you hold me," Harry whispered, his voice was quiet and Draco knew his eyes were closed. He could tell by the way he didn't turn around.

"Harry," Draco said softly, leaning forward and pushing his lips to Harry's neck, "I was thinking, in the shower..." He started, "how I don't know if we should have come here. I think we should have stayed at Hogwarts."

"Why?"

"You're leaving me," Draco whispered, his fingers moving slowly up and down the tense back before him, "I don't know how to go to school... to Hogwarts... without you, Potter."

"The same as you did every year before me."

"Every year before you was different, I didn't care about what I did or who I was. I was Draco Malfoy, I stood at the top of a pile of bodies Harry and I liked it," he dropped his hand, and Harry shifted so he was sideways on the other's lap and looking at him. "I want to tell you... Harry, uh... Well," Draco frowned deeply, letting out a quiet breath.

"What happened to you, Draco?" Draco took his hand, and brought it to his lips with a kiss, "when you were younger what happened to you?"

"I don't want to talk about that, Potter."

"I know, but I need to know."

"You want to know. It's different."

Harry shook his head, "you won't touch me, Draco, I need to know why. I cross lines and you freak out, I mention how amazing you are and you freak out, I don't do everything you want and you freak out... Draco I picked up a Potion ingredient and you would have thought I was threatening your life." He stood and stepped away from the blonde, "I need you to tell me because I need to understand."

Draco stood as well, "I don't think you need to hear this, Harry, not right now. You're still..."

"I didn't have a nightmare last night," Harry whispered, "for the first time in almost 5 years I didn't have a nightmare."

"That doesn't have anything to do with me."

"That's a lie and you know it," Harry glared at the other, "it had everything to do with you. Everything to do with last night, Draco, for the first time you were honest with me!"

"I wasn't completely honest, Potter."

"It was a start, Malfoy."

Draco blinked a few times taken aback by the hateful tone Harry used, but before he could answer a loud pop alerted the two of them that Kreacher arrived, "Harry the food you ordered is here."

"Thank you Kreacher, we'll be down in a moment."

"You ordered food?"

"You didn't eat much," Harry sighed, he was tugging on his bottom lip pulling at the lip ring, he could feel the blood on his lips, "you're always worried about me, I thought I'd return the favor."

"Oh."

He wiped the small amount of blood on his chin and stepped around the other one, "so then it's here." Draco turned, watching him walk away.


They hadn't talked much more, Draco and Harry. The brunette had been holed up in the living room watching some TV program that Draco had no interest in and he found himself shut up in the library. He didn't want to admit that he missed Harry but he did. So much.

He missed being near him, he missed talking with him, he missed feeling him. He couldn't remember a time the two had been apart since their 'boyfriend boyfriend' relationship started. They had arguments but Harry was always near and Draco was always near. Always within hearing and seeing distance and now they were the only two in the house, save the crazy old elf and they weren't together.

Instead Draco was alone with his thoughts and nothing but the books to distract him and it usually would have worked, but instead all he could think about was last night. He could practically hear Pansy, stop trying to protect him Draco, you can't.

He could see it all over again the two of them pressed against each other, Harry flushed and nervous.

You've never really touched me before?

There was reasons Draco kept the other at a distance, there were reasons he strayed from the contact. Reasons why he controlled the kisses, reasons he controlled just what they could do - sexually, physically, emotionally. Reasons that involved himself never having that control growing up. Draco tugged on his bright colored hair, blowing out a hard breath before he stood and headed down the stairs.

I'm here.

He could still feel Harry holding him, it was quite possibly the first time the man hadn't been nervous when touching him. Draco stopped at the entrance to the den and Harry looked up instantly, he was smirking at the blonde, "you need to be lighter on your feet Malfoy."

Draco almost cringed at being called Malfoy again, he liked it better when Harry called him Draco. "I hope you're not calling me fat Potter, I was about to take my shirt off."

Harry laughed, and leaned back into the couch, "were you?"

"I had the notion you were wanting to... understand?"

Harry blinked, shocked, realizing now that Draco was being serious, "please."

Draco took his time pulling Harry's sweater over his head, almost smiling when Harry let out a displeased sound, "Merlin, calm down Potter." Harry chuckled and shifted, "what do you think the reason is.. I'm curious?"

"The mark."

"I already told you it wasn't about the mark, not completely."

"I don't know then."

Draco frowned, "Harry a couple years ago, you and I had a fight - do you remember that?"

"In the girls bathroom you mean?"

"Yeah," Draco was unbuttoning his shirt and almost had it done as he pulled it out from his pants and his shirt tails clung to his jeans. "Harry, please, don't freak out."

"You're making me nervous, Draco, what's going on?"

The blonde sighed and pushed his shirt open, letting it fall down his arms and to the ground his eyes not meeting Harry who held back his gasp but still stared in shock. There were cuts everywhere, every part of his torso was sliced with small, tiny cuts most over old scars. His body was red around the scars and some looked like a permanent dark red, other cuts were over burns tearing his skin apart in an ugly way. The only part that wasn't encased in the scars was his arms, and the left arm held the mark. Harry didn't know what to say so instead he asked why. .

"Why did you decide to show me?"

"I missed you," Draco spoke honestly, and when Harry met his eyes he didn't shy away or try to hide it. "Can I join you?"

"Is that even a question?" Harry answered moving forward as Draco stepped towards him, he didn't pick up his shirt and eased onto the couch reaching for Harry as soon as he sat back and pulled the man against his bare chest.

"I thought you were a challenge, I had made my mind up before we even left the battle. Before I was taken away. I had made the choice that I was going to befriend you as best I could and try to fix you it was what I wanted."

Draco's voice was quiet and his arm held Harry to himself tightly, his lips against the top of his head and the Gryffindor pressed to his body laying his cheek against his chest hearing the way it vibrated as he spoke while dragging his finger over the scars tracing them. "You stood there when he died, before you collapsed. I wanted to reach out and hold you, pick you up and comfort you and take you away. You have no idea how many times I wished I would have done that over the past month."

"Can you believe it's only be a month?"

"It's been long," Draco agreed, rubbing his arm. "I never got to thank you for everything you've done, Harry, all of it. Fighting for us - even people like me who didn't deserve it, and the Room of Requirement... you pulled me from that room, me of all people. And you destroyed Voldemort and then you show up weeks later at my trial and speak for me?" He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, "I don't know why you thought it was a good idea, I don't know why you thought I deserved it. But you were there speaking for me and saving my life again and I didn't know what to do so I called out for you."

"I remember," Harry leaned up suddenly, "I had forgotten that, but I remember now. You said my name... it was the first time you called me Harry."

Draco chuckled, "you didn't even respond, just stared at me."

"I didn't know what to say. I was hungover too."

"I know you smelled terrible," Draco grimaced and felt Harry flushed. "And then you left before I could say anything else. I just... I wish I would have chased after you but I didn't. I couldn't. I'm me and you're you. But then you never showed up, anywhere. I didn't see you in the papers, in the streets, I was everywhere. I was looking for you, I out and about doing shit I didn't think I cared about because I thought you would show up. At least once, even if it was just to yell hateful words at me but instead you were gone. I was so scared you weren't going to be at Hogwarts." Draco shut his eyes and shook his head, "I thought you were going to just disappear but it was everywhere. All over the train. Harry's back!" He chuckled softly, "I was just as excited as they were."

"Why wouldn't I save you, Draco?"

"You hated me, I hated you... it's not secret."

"That doesn't mean I wouldn't save you, I will always fight for you." Harry frowned deeply, "don't say it like you're a terrible person, like you're scum. You're not."

"You were so brave, Harry."

The brunette tsked and pressed his hand to Draco's pec with a quiet sigh, "how did you find me, that first night at Hogwarts?"

Draco looked down with a sigh, "I saw where you went, I didn't realize you were going to get wasted or I would have showed up sooner. But Granger was a mess, she was frantically yelling at everyone and sending people off to places. Demanding to know who saw you run out of the hallway but no one knew. No one noticed you left except her and Ron."

"And you?"

"Well, me and Blaise saw you. You had bumped into Pansy, and she was a little upset so naturally threw a fit and it made us look." Draco smiled softly, "I saw where you ran to and knew where it lead."

"What happened after that?"

"Nothing, we went to dinner. We ate, I kept glancing at your table admittedly checking to see if you appeared but you never did Granger was losing her shit," he rolled his eyes, "and when we got back to the conjoined dorms you weren't there people were starting to get worried and annoyed with Hermione so people left to go out looking. I just happened to be the one that found you."

"You were a cocky shit too." Harry chuckled, "all, 'I love your hair Malfoy' and kissing me and calling me cute." Draco shook his head, "but you were different and not just because you were drunk. Everything about you was different. You were shaking, I doubt you noticed, your hands were shaking and your voice was loud. Too loud, like you were unsure of what to say. I had never seen you like that."

Harry frowned and snuggled back in against Draco trailing his fingers over the scars yet again, "I know now it's the thoughts but I didn't at the time, I didn't understand not until you cut your head." He paused to run his pale fingers over the healing scar on Harry's forehead, "when you told me you still heard him it made everything clear."

Harry was chewing on his bottom lip, pulling his lip ring into his mouth with a suck he could feel it coming. He knew it was. Draco's voice had gotten softer, he was speaking slower and he was holding Harry tighter, who was too scared to move to even try to comfort the other.

"I told you some things that night," Draco whispered, "about my past... I had to grow up hungry, if I messed up that's how it was taken out on me at first. And I was locked away from the world, I didn't know anyone aside from Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise and Pansy. They were it, it was the five of us. The five most pure-blood, like a pentacle of evil, Death Eater families. We were supposed to be the ones that held up Voldemort, Harry, we were raised that way. And if we did one thing - even at the ages of 5 or 6 that they didn't see fit we were locked away. We were beat, and not fed until we could explain what was done and how we messed up."

Harry could hear the pain in Draco's voice, he could practically feel it but he couldn't move. He was too scared to move so instead he closed his eyes and gripped Draco's side with a soft hand. "I was trained to hate the world, anyone that wasn't from our little circle was scum. Anyone that wasn't pure-blood was the worst, they were disgusting and deserved to die, deserved to be tortured."

"I can remember the exact day that I stopped fighting it, and started living it and I hate that about myself, Harry. I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have been the person I became." He paused and looked down, "you know why I talk about myself like that.. like I shouldn't have been saved? Because I don't deserve it. I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough to be alive. I did horrible things, I treated people horribly and at some point I stopped being ashamed at that. All the things I do now to make myself feel better are even for a selfish reason, so I can bare to look at myself."

Draco shook his head, letting out a long breath, "I don't know if it is a question where I'll end up when I die Potter, just like it isn't a question where you'll go. You'll be up high and I'll be down low. You saved the world, you saved fucked up people like me."

"It's not good guy, bad guy Draco, it's how we grow. How we live." Harry shook his head, "it's not black and white, living isn't just simple like that."

"It was when I was growing up, and I think that's how it is now. Growing up with my mother and father," Draco's voice was breaking, he was losing his composure now his whole world was crashing down around him and Harry. He had kept quiet for so long it was like a disaster to even break that silence, to stop hiding everything, "mum wasn't a bad person, Harry," he whispered, "she.. she tried to be a good mum, she really did. I heard her cry so many times when my father would take me to his study and hit me if I had embarrassed him in front of his friends and family. I was the one that messed up and I made her cry, it was heart breaking. She used to sneak me snacks, and had the house elves hide small nonperishable food items around the house and in my room so I could eat sometimes."

"Mother was lonely and scared, and my father was a monster. He was the first to suggest that we children get beat when our parents messed up. Said it would give the parents more incentive, but it didn't. Not really, if it didn't benefit them our parents didn't care and they weren't the ones that got punished for breaking the rules, we were. No one liked us kids much. I used to stand up to them all the time, I told them they were wrong that the Muggles weren't bad people or that 'Mud-bloods' didn't deserve to be mistreated, but that wasn't how a Malfoy thought. I was the wrong Malfoy and I was going to die if my mother hadn't spoken for me."

"She took us away when I was 8, until school started. We were in some place - I don't remember where, and we were going to stay there hidden away until school started. She would train me herself, father had said. He made surprise visits and each time it always ended in me getting beat just to remind me that he was the boss, he said."

Draco shivered, he had been dancing around the words for sometime. He had been trying to avoid them, but he was running out of ways to do that. He hadn't thought about it in a while, and he most certainly had never said it allowed. Not until this moment.

"I thought she was healing me," he whispered, "she told me to get undressed, I was cut up and bruised and sore and I thought she was going to heal me. She was supposed to, she's my mum after all." He paused and felt a tear roll down his cheek, taking his time to blow out his breath slowly and take a deep one in, "so I did, I was naked and she asked me if I wanted her to stop the pain. Of course I did, I was 8. Then she said the only way she could do that was if I..." he shook his head, his eyes shut tightly as he trailed off.

Harry shifted slowly, and reached up to thumb the tears away. He wasn't sure if he should say anything or not, he wasn't sure what to say if he had thought he should so instead he stayed quiet and looked.

Draco let out a breath, keeping his eyes closed.

"So I kissed her, and she healed a bruise and then another and she healed another and it went on until there was nothing left to heal and she let me go. I didn't know what to think, I was too young to know what it really meant but I knew it was wrong. I had seen father and mother kiss the way she had just kissed me, and I knew it was wrong." He shuddered, "she started telling lies to him so his surprise visits became weekly, every Friday he would visit and she would tell him I did things or said things and the beatings got worse and then he would leave and she would heal me."

"But as the beatings got worse there was more to heal and more to heal meant... more things I had to do," Draco wasn't even sure he was talking out loud now, he was just saying the words. Speaking through his tears as Harry held him. At some point the two shifted and Harry had pulled Draco to his chest and was rocking him. But the blonde didn't even realize it. He was lost, he was in his own world. He was in his memories.

"By a year the worst had happened, the only way she would heal me was if I - I did everything she asked and everything she asked involved it all..." A long pause wrapped around the two, "it was shortly after that, that she told my aunt. Bellatrix was ruthless, and just as lonely as my mother it seemed."

"After school started I was given a break, but as soon as summer rolled around it was there again and again and after 4th Year we offered the Manor to Voldemort who took it and everything in our life changed, the only good thing about it was the more people that were there meant the less time I had alone with mother. And, when I failed to... kill Dumbledore I had thought that was it for me and I won't lie I welcomed death but it wasn't, Voldemort knew. He knew about my mother and aunt and instead of killing me he watched."

Harry couldn't hold back the gasp this time, it was loud and sudden and he held Draco tightly in his arms, "oh baby," he whispered against the blonde's temple, "I am so, so sorry Draco," he breathed out kissing his pale skin.

But Draco didn't really register the words, he clutched to Harry tighter but he didn't register the words he was saying, "there was no coming back from that." He whispered in a quiet voice, a voice that was a cry for help as he grabbed to Harry trying to hold him as if he wanted to merge their bodies, to hide inside the man, to be safe. To be saved by Harry Potter, once again, "I'm not enough, I wasn't enough."

The two men were all clutches, arms and tears, Harry rocked Draco slowly while rubbing his back and nuzzling against his cheek and Draco was buried against his chest hiding his face as cried, sobbing against the other man.

Harry rocked him slowly, rubbing his bare back, "you are enough, Draco, you were enough."