A/N: Sorry it's been ages, got ill, had a five hour exam to prepare for, etc. Hopefully back to normal now, thank you for the amazing response last chapter I was so amazingly happy. Going to use a few ideas that you guys sent to me and yes, by demand, it got kind of hot in this chapter. I hope I did it justice. Please review and let me know, and let me know what you want to see in the coming chapters. This chapter is long. Song inspiration: Give Me A Reason – Three Days Grace (Have a listen!) Enjoy!

Castiel lay flat underneath his bed, invisible to the rest of the world, squeezing his eyes closed, trying to shut out the screams and shouts of arguments between his siblings downstairs. Michael, from what they could tell wasn't healing well, he still wouldn't wake up. No one would tell him what had happened but he wasn't an idiot, he knew Michael had been attacked, he just didn't know who by and why. Perhaps it was because they'd found out that they were angels. Michael had always stressed how dangerous it was to be angel under the pretence of a human but Castiel had never thought anyone would want to hurt them, the thought made him shudder.

As soon as Lucifer was sure that Michael wasn't going to die just then he stormed out of the house saying something about hunters and Anna had begged him to stay but he'd ignored her. Raphael and Uriel had tried to follow suit but Anna put her foot down then and said that no one else was going anywhere. This had sparked off huge arguments over who was in charge of who and what good it was doing sitting here when Michael's attacker was still out there.

Sunday was spent on shifts taking care of Michael, everyone disregarding Castiel's demands and pleas for any information. Every half an hour another fight broke out and he couldn't stand it. Usually he'd get out, maybe go to Dean's, but he couldn't leave, not with Michael in this state. Monday morning came and Castiel had barely scraped two minutes of sleep. His eyes were heavy and pained but nonetheless he got up from his hiding place to go and see Michael.

As he walked over to his door Anna intercepted him, an overtired but patient smile on her face.

"He's better than last night, stronger, he's definitely getting his grace back, Castiel." She said steadily but her face betrayed her.

"But he's still in danger." He stated and Anna ran a hand through her unkempt fiery hair which was all the response Castiel needed and he tried to move past her again to see Michael but she got in his way again.

"Castiel, I need you to go to school." She said slowly, biting her lip. Castiel frowned.

"I'm not going whilst Michael's life is at risk, Anna." He yet again tried to move to the door but her hand found his shoulder and kept him there.

"I'm sorry, Castiel, but you must," She continued sadly. He frowned in confused agitation.

"But why? I want to stay here!"

"I know, but," Her eyes seemed to fill up with tears ans she smiled painfully, trying to blink them back.

"Castiel, Michael is our legal guardian and he's the only one old enough for that title. You and Gabe are still underage. If anyone found out he was unfit to take care of you-"

"He's not unfit!" Castiel shouted making the lights burst, a fact which they both ignored.

"They'll take you away, Castiel!" She shouted in response, tears falling freely down her cheeks and guilt panged through Castiel as he saw the fear in his sister's eyes at the thought of them being separated. She brought her hand to the side of his face and stroked his cheek, in the way she'd always done since he was a small child.

"We can't lose you, either of you, okay? They'd send you both to our cousin Zachariah in Massachusetts and we wouldn't be allowed to see you. I'm not going to let that happen, alright? So I need you to go to school and behave normally until Michael gets better. I know it's hard and I know you don't want to leave him but if you don't then people will find out and it will all escalate so please… please do as I ask."

"Of course, Anna. I apologise for being difficult. I will attend school like normal." He said quietly, feeling terrible for putting up any dispute in the first place. She nodded with a small smile and flipped her wrist absently fixing the lights with a touch of her grace, something which ordinarily Michael would disapprove of, but she knew it made Castiel happy to see the flicker of grace in her eye.

School was bad.

Gabriel had slammed out of the house and no doubt would skip off of a few lessons but that wouldn't raise any eyebrows, it was Castiel who had appearances to keep up. Jo pestered him briefly but he managed to set her mind at ease by spinning some story about Gabriel keeping him up all night with a movie marathon and she laughed, satisfied that he was alright. Bella prodded him during biology wanting an answer as to why he wasn't volunteering to answer every question like normal and he absently replied that he'd been studying all night and was too tired to do work and she laughed and said something about being up all night for a whole different reason. Ash bumped into him in the corridor when he wasn't paying attention to where he was going, too busy avoiding Dean. Ash laughed and helped pick up his things asking where the hell his head was at and he'd smiled falsely and spouted a tale about going out with his family to visit some relatives until late last night. Ash, content, slapped him on the back and reminded him you couldn't choose your family.

The day was dragging on but he was clawing his way through lessons, faking his class work, spinning falsehoods to his friends, hiding from his teachers, but there was one thing he couldn't do. He refused to lie to Dean. Not more lies. He was closer to Dean than he thought capable of any human being outside his immediate family and he hated not being able to tell him the truth about himself. The only thing that kept him going was the thought, the dim hope, that one day he'd tell Dean, and the even smaller shimmer of hope, that Dean would accept him.

He managed to hide during break and had no lessons with him in the first half of the day. He dodged out of the lunch hall and spent his dinner time hiding in a computer room, eating his lunch under a desk. He couldn't bring himself to walk into that math and tell Dean he was okay when he wasn't. He could do it everyone else, but not only would Dean see straight through him, he didn't want to. He went in early and told his teacher he was feeling ill and was allowed to go the medical room, upon which he went and walked aimlessly around the school, worry and guilt a festering plague in his mind.

Dean walked into his class, ready to give his so-called best friend the freaking Spanish inquisition as to what the hell was going on and why he was avoiding him and ground his teeth when he saw the empty seat at their back bench. He turned to walk out of the class immediately.

"Mr Winchester, sit down, as much as you and I both may not want you in this room, you're here." Mr Masters snapped with a sneer, smug bastard, Dean thought to himself.

"Sir, I've got to-"

"I don't care. Sit." The man said, clearly enjoying his twisted and poor form of oppressive power and Dean just couldn't bring himself to care about this pathetic little man. His head still throbbed if he moved too quickly from being injured on the hunt, Sammy was constantly depressed that he and Jess were over, his Dad had left again, and now Cas was avoiding him. Mr Masters and quadratic equations really were beyond the last thing on his list of things to care about.

"Yeah, not today, pal." He said with a bored shrug.

"Mr Winchester, you are required to be in this lesson." Mr Masters fumed.

"Yeah? Sue me." He replied happily turning towards the door once more.

"I'll have the school ring your parents about this, Mr Winchester." Dean laughed loudly.

"Yeah, good luck with that, you tell me how it goes," He said as he walked out and the door slammed loudly behind him. Sure, he'd pay for that later, but right now he had more important things to worry about.

Dean ran through the corridors, he knew Cas wouldn't leave school but he was hiding out somewhere. He checked the bathroom, the library and then proceeded to look through the gyms and empty classrooms. Just as he was about to admit defeat he heard a sigh from around the corner of a row of lockers. He walked around the corner and found Cas slumped on the floor, leaning into them, head in his hands. Without saying a word he pulled Cas' arm and dragged him to his feet. Castiel's head snapped up at the contact.

"Dean!" He said shocked and embarrassed, caught red handed. He waited for the questions, the accusations but Dean just looked around and then pulled his arm again and walked with him. They went outside and to the Impala. Dean, still not saying a word, barely even looking at Cas, pushed him inside and then climbed in himself. Castiel was too caught up in his confusion at Dean's actions to care about school, the teachers thought he'd gone home sick anyway.

They drove thankfully, to Dean's house and Dean just walked straight in, knowing Cas would be following him. The silence was unique amongst those two. They were forever laughing and joking so silence usually meant something, even in their comfortable silences they'd both have something on their mind and would simply come to each other for comfort. Silence for any other reason was a sure sign something was up.

They went up to Dean's room and Dean waited until Cas was inside, closed the door and sat down on his bed, Castiel following suit. Dean turned to him expectantly.

"Talk to me." He said simply. Cas faked a confused frown but Dean saw through it immediately at the absence of his trademark head tilt, Cas was hiding something from him.

"There's nothing to talk about, Dean." He said carefully. Dean nodded looking away.

"Right, right. So that's why Jo thinks you had a movie night with Gabe, Bella reckons you were studying all night and Ash says you were kicking it with your folks all night. Sure sounds like nothing." Dean stated flatly, looking him dead in the eye, desperate for a reaction and if being blunt was the only way he'd get one so be it. Cas could lie to everyone else but that shit just wasn't going to fly with him.

"Dean, I was just-"

"Just what, Cas? Lying to everyone, skipping classes, not coming to lunch, avoiding me. Please don't sit there and lie to me, Cas." Dean said quietly and that made Cas snap. He stood up suddenly spinning to face Dean who was still sitting.

"I'm not! I didn't! Why do you think I've been avoiding you all day, Dean? I couldn't bring myself to willingly walk into a class and lie
to you for an hour, okay? I couldn't sit next to you at lunch and tell you something that wasn't true! I physically couldn't do it. I couldn't lie to you again, Dean!" He shouted and he froze momentarily when Dean's eyes narrowed and he realised his mistake. Dean stood up slowly.

"What do you mean, again, Cas?"

"N-nothing, I just meant-"

"What, there's something you're not telling me?" Dean demanded raising an eyebrow and taking a step forward.

"Have you got some girl on the go behind my back or something? What the hell, Cas?!" Dean said, a look of 'please deny it' flashing in his eyes before he masked it with anger. Castiel wanted to deny it, he wanted to scream that of course it wasn't true, how could it possibly be true, why would he possibly want someone else when Dean was standing in front of him. But he couldn't. And he needed an alibi as to what he'd lied about. And he was angry. And stupid.

"So what if there was? That's not your business, Dean! And don't sit there on your high horse, okay! You've been lying to me since we met, I know you have! I believed that you'd tell me when you're ready but I realise now that I was foolish to think you ever really liked me enough to tell me the truth." The words were pouring out before he could stop them and hurt warped Dean's face as he took them all in silence.

"You think you can just march into my life and command me to tell you everything I am or feel or do and yet you look me in the eye every day and lie plain to my face and what's worse you don't care, you never cared." Dean winced as if the words were a brick being thrown through his heart of glass and the shards of its broken remains were digging into him, tearing their way through, making everything hurt more.

"It's great to really see how far you care that you only worry about whether I'm dating someone without telling you. Well I might be getting shipped out of here anyway so you won't have to worry about that anymore." Castiel said, his throat ragged and his voice cracked. Dean's eyes widened as the words hit home and Castiel turned to walk out, beginning to open the door. Dean grabbed his arm and span him round, pushing him back against the door which closed it with a bang.

"What're you talking about? Shipped where? You can't leave," Dean croaked out desperately. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut and bashed his head back against the door and the glass on Dean's bedside table exploded and the window slammed open covering them in cold, sobering air.

"What does it matter, Dean? I'm going." Castiel whispered apologetically.

"Cas, please, just listen to me. You can't leave. Whatever you're going to do, or wherever you're thinking of going, please don't. I know, I've been lying to you since we met. I'm an idiot and I wish I hadn't but.." Dean stared squarely at Cas, trying to find the right words, or any words right now would be great. Castiel's eyes begged him for something, anything, everything and Dean could only oblige in one way.

"I lied, Cas," He said very slowly, pulling the letters along his tongue slowly, taking as long as he could, debating how much of the truth he could give. He desperately and with all his heart wanted to tell Cas everything but knew he could only give a fraction.

"About my Mom, I mean, I lied about her, Cas."

"..What about her-"

"She's dead, Cas. My Mom's.. dead, she's gone." He choked out bitterly and Castiel's eyes went wide and he unconsciously put a hand on Dean's shoulder pulling him in just a fraction.

"I didn't want to tell you because… Well people treat you different, you know? You're really one of a kind, you that, Cas. You treated me different from everyone else. I knew you'd find out eventually but I couldn't do it. I couldn't put that pity in your eyes. I didn't want it, any of it. But don't you dare say I don't care, that I never cared cos'…" Dean gulped back the ever growing lump in his throat and half noted how close they were to each other.

"I do. I always have, okay? Cas, buddy, I need you. Please, don't leave." He begged quietly and felt himself leaning in more but didn't pay real attention to anything outside of Cas. Castiel's heart was pounding, he could taste his grace in his mouth as Dean leaned closer to him.

"I won't go, Dean. I'll stay. I'll stay here with you." He whispered and Dean felt his Cas' breath on his lips.

Castiel should've known better. His emotions were practically rioting. What with Michael getting attacked, Lucifer walking out, his siblings arguing, the ever-lingering threat of being dragged off to Massachusetts, having to mask it at school, Dean's confession and now having him two centimetres from his face. His grace was swelling madly and had either of them been paying attention they would've noticed the wind coming through the window was practically a gale as Castiel let his powers run free of reins. It was when Dean put his own hand over the one that Castiel had placed on his shoulder that he truly let go. His grace melted in his heart as Dean searched every inch of his eyes and his own widened slightly. Castiel's grace spread to his eyes and his cerulean irises lit up. Not in a metaphorical sense, as in they literally were glowing brightly and sparkling. Still tasting grace in his mouth, his heart thumping like a bass drum in an up tempo beat, he didn't give Dean a chance to exclaim at his eyes.

He moved his hand and hooked it around Dean's neck and closed the distance between them, pulling their lips together and kissing him soundly. It was everything that he'd imagined and more. His senses exploded as his grace raced through his body and his heart felt like a shivering wreck and it was just so right. Dean melted into him in the most beautiful way. He wrapped his arms around Cas and kissed him deeply drawing a moan from Castiel that should've been illegal. It was at that moment that Dean got his first taste of grace, and the effect was immediate and painfully amazing.

He groaned loudly and pushed him forcefully further back against the door. He moulded their bodies together and tangled one of his hands in Castiel's hair as the other pulled on the boy's tie, not giving an inch. Castiel couldn't help himself, everything was happening so quickly he couldn't stop to register anything other than Dean and he didn't think he'd ever want to again. Both arms now locked around Dean's neck pulling with all his strength to keep him there though none of it was needed.

Dean continued to push him up against the door and Castiel moaned again as he felt Dean's hand leave his hair and run roughly down his body. He pushed his hips against Dean's and Dean reacted, using both hands to pull Cas' hips up and Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, never feeling more blissful than he did between Dean and the door. The contrast of their bodies heating up as cold air whipped through their hair was exhilarating and they both submerged themselves in it.

Dean suddenly lifted Cas up properly and turned somehow reaching the bed and throwing Castiel onto it before climbing over him and joining their lips again. Castiel didn't know how they'd gotten to this point but he didn't care, the feeling of Dean's lips against his, his hands roaming wherever they wanted, his moans filling his mouth, it was too perfect to begin to question.

Dean tore his mouth away from Cas who almost whimpered at the loss of contact but was sated when dean started trailing kisses down his neck, driving him crazy making him buck his hips and he heard Dean's dark chuckle as he made his way back up and, much to Castiel's happiness, pulled their lips together again, renewing their earlier motion. Castiel's cheeks were tinged with pink as he got more hot and bothered by each second. He, somewhere in a tiny, miniscule corner of his mind, felt something, a rope or bond of some sort on the verge of breaking and would've wondered what it was but got distracted by Dean's hands finding fascination in pursuing his skin as they clawed their way into his shirt and moved up his chest.

Castiel had never experienced passion anything close to this, it was incredible and terrifying and perfect all at the same time. It was only when Dean ground their hips together that he felt the barrier in his mind break and he gasped into Dean's lips and the window shattered, the door flew open, the light bulbs burst, every item on Dean's shelves threw themselves onto the floor, the ground shook and Castiel shoved Dean off of him and clambered off of the bed.

Both he and Dean were breathless and were gulping in air like it was on sale. The sight of Dean, ruffled, hot and needy on a bed was not something Castiel would ever forget, nor thought he'd ever get to see but his senses were returning to him now, as were Dean's. His green eyes which had previously been glowing bright emerald with grace were slowly dimming as Dean clutched his head feeling a come down like none other he'd ever experienced.

Castiel remembered everything about grace. He'd let it out of control just before they'd kissed and Dean had tasted it and taken it all in and had just acted on impulse. Human impulse. Not real desire. It hadn't been real. Castiel had basically mind-warped Dean into doing that. He felt more sick by the second. He couldn't let Dean know. About any of it, that he had powers, that he was an angel, that he had grace, but most importantly, for some irrational reason, he couldn't bear the thought that Dean would know he'd manipulated his body into reacting like that. He'd never be able to face him again, and Dean would never want him to.

Before Dean's mind and body had a chance to truly catch up he moved to him quickly and Dean had a split second to meet his eye with confusion and slight fear at what he was feeling before Cas touched his forehead and simultaneously wiped his memory and made him sleep and Dean collapsed into the bed. He used Anna's trick and flicked his wrist, righting the terrible mess in Dean's room and then refastened up his shirt and pulled his coat back on as tears fell down his face.

He just stood there for a minute looking at Dean's unconscious figure before he shut his eyes and let his head fall into his hands, tears forming a stream on his cheeks now. He couldn't stay there any longer and ran out of the room running directly into Sam, who was home early for some reason.

"Woah, Cas, you okay?" He asked shocked at the look of true agony on his face. Castiel couldn't even respond and just ran. Out of their house. Away from Dean. Away from Sam. Away from his stupid mistake. Away from his guilt. Away from his fear. What would Michael think of him if he knew? And then all thoughts of Michael reappeared and it was just blow after blow. He made his way home, hating himself and his actions. Hating being an angel. Hating the feeling that he'd used Dean in such a way. Hating the fact that he wanted nothing more but to do it again.

Had he realised that his actions would bring back John Winchester with a vengeance and what that would mean for him, he would've ran home. But nothing would stop the trail of grace he was leaving as they escaped through his tears. Things were about to get a whole lot more complicated.

A/N: So this was really long but I figured I haven't updated in a while and I needed to give this a bit longer to do it properly. I hope it was alright, please let me know in a review, any thoughts and ideas for future chapters, I read them all and usually use them all and it's super helpful and makes me smile and write more, yay. Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading! Izzie.