Chapter 5
Mizzy lay flat on her back in bed, staring at the ceiling, completely unable to sleep. She could pretend that it was too cold in her room to sleep, the pillow too flat or the blankets too itchy, but she knew what was really keeping her awake. Guilt.
She knew she over-reacted. And saying 'over-reaction' was really an under-reaction. She could shout and scream and stamp her feet all she liked, but in the end, what did it get her? More stress, more worry, more problems. It nearly had got her in a coffin.
But as she lay there she cursed the part of her brain which thought it was absolutely fine to shout at someone who comes to her for help, when they looked so utterly lost and vulnerable she could hardly bear to look at them.
She had never been good with problems. Neither her own or anybody else's. If something could not be solved by violence or threats, she just did not want to know. Ever. She had this blockage when it came to showing outward emotions that seemed it could never be rectified. To her, crying was cowardice, showing the world emotional weakness. She could never understand that sometimes, the ability to cry shows the most strength.
But she bottled everything up inside, letting it poison her heart slowly but surely, until every thought was black and cold and she could put up her front of stubborn hostility and biting sarcasm, telling herself that she was so cold because she didn't care when really she cared too much.
The alarm clock on the bedside table read 2:17 AM by the time she finally beat down her ego and summoned up the courage to apologise to the boy left sleeping in the bathtub.
"Kendall?" She whispered through the door. She had heard her Aunt come home at just after midnight, and was keen to not have to explain the situation to her. "You awake?" There was no response, but she opened the door anyway, over-conscious of the loud creak it made. Her bare feet pattered on the tiled floor as she crept over to the bath, nudging a stray bar of soap away with her foot as she did so.
Kendall was curled up on his side in the tub, his fraying green towel acting as a blanket which hid his face from view, tufts of dull blond hair visible over the top. His breathing was raspy and uneven, each breath sounding a little more difficult than the last.
"Kendall?" Mizzy nudged his shoulder gently, "Kendall, wake up". With a groan, the boy stirred, coughing weakly as he rolled onto his back, looking up at Mizzy with bleary eyes.
"M-mizz...?" Kendall blinked vaguely, making an attempt to sit up, but she shushed him, encouraging him to lie back down. "What time is it?"
"Middle of the night," Mizzy summarized, rubbing his shoulder in what she hoped was a soothing way. She was too aware of how clammy he was, and how she could feel him shivering under the fabric of his t-shirt. The shadows under his eyes and cheeks made him look gaunt, skeletal. There was a blueish tinge to his mouth.
Something inside her flicked.
"Right, come on, up you get, I'm not letting you sleep here any longer," Without further hesitation, the dark-haired girl grabbed Kendall's arm and hoisted him to his feet, wrapping a firm arm round his middle and managing to stifle a flinch when she heard the boy gasp in pain. Together they shuffled across the dark landing into the lamp lit warmth of Mizzy's bedroom.
The room was small, illuminated with a gentle orange glow from the light on the night stand. A bed, on the small side of a double, was pushed against the wall on the right side of the room, covered with purple sheets and a fuzzy green blanket, and on the floor next to it was a pile of books and magazines. A small wooden desk sat in one corner of the room, obscured beneath an array of cards and notebooks and assorted, a laptop quietly steaming atop the mess. The wardrobe was dribbling its contents onto the floor; a stray pair of leggings and some sneakers creeping stealthily to freedom.
Most glorious of all was the electric heater humming next the bed, immersing the room in soft heat .
Slowly, Mizzy maneuvered them both to the edge of the bed, unceremoniously depositing her weary cargo on the rumpled covers. "You can sleep in the bed, and I'll sleep on the floor. I should have offered you the bed earlier. It was rude of me not to." She found herself being stiff and formal, only too aware of the guilt simmering just under the surface.
"You don't have to do that for me, Mizz," Kendall mumbled through wheezing breaths. The pathetic picture of his slumped shoulders and bruised face completely contradicted his words.
Mizzy softened. "Your ribs... erm...they're hurting you, aren't they?" Kendall nodded, avoiding her searching eyes. "Do you mind lifting your shirt up?"
The boy tensed, panic rippling through him. Mizzy's voice continued, high and faltering with concern. "I just want to help." Sighing he relented, and shut his eyes in shame when he heard her horrified gasp.
The entire right side of his chest was blotched red and purple, swelling clearly visible on his scrawny frame. Scars littered his torso; from tiny scratch marks to what looked like a burn on his hipbone, an angry streak of red on pale skin.
Kendall felt the bed move as Mizzy perched next to him, and felt her cool, dry hands hovering over his battered skin. A whispered torrent of swear words left her lips. Nervously, he cracked an eye open.
Mizzy was staring at him, green eyes soft and completely level, pale lips slightly parted, breathing quickly and quietly, a dark blush creeping across high cheekbones. "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. I just want to help you, Kendall, I want this to stop."
He looked away, unable to meet her searching gaze. He didn't realise he was crying until a tissue was being pressed into his palm and then he was suddenly overcome, collapsing in to sobs that shook his body, heaving air into aching lungs, nose running uncontrollably. A slim arm slipped round his shoulders, and he found himself cradled in Mizzy's embrace, head tucked her chin as her fingers gently ran through his still damp hair.
"My dad," was all Kendall managed between choked gasps but it was all Mizzy needed to understand.
"Okay, love, it's alright now... it's all going to be okay... I promise... shh... quiet now... shh, shh... you're safe now..." But as she spoke she doubted the truth in her words.
