Hey folks, sorry I almost forgot to post today! No theme song for the moment, I don't have access to my playlist where I am. Might add one later.


Chapter 44: Shenanigans

In the end, it was decided that Loki would go on the guys' plane. The ladies were planning to do 'girly' things, and he sensed they would be uncomfortable if he knew what such things were, even second hand. Besides, despite his female aspect's attempts to embrace all things feminine, he was fairly sure she wouldn't enjoy 14 hours straight of it.

He decided that the best course of action was to give up one of his days to Her so that she could be informed. After all, it was only fair after what he had done the previous week. It was not an entirely selfless decision, though, as he would need Her to craft him an appropriate wardrobe for the occasion.

Loki tapped his pencil against the list, and looked to Natasha.

"I think that's it. We're only going for a week," she smiled. Why did it not surprise her that he was a bit of a clothes horse? He sighed darkly, and she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"It's just... I wish I didn't have to leave this up to Her," he complained. "She's rather unconventional in her sense of fashion, I always dread that she'll make me wear something ridiculous."

Natasha frowned and opened her mouth to say that Femme Loki had a fashion sense that, while unique, was very sharp. She snapped it shut, however, when the subject of her defense appeared before her.

Loki blinked at her, and shook her head. "You know, I really wish I had like a 10-second replay every time I show up. I get a lot of weird looks."

She smiled. "It's just a little astonishing how smooth he is about it. I'm used to knowing when people are lying."

The corner of her mouth twitched up a little. "He'll take that as a compliment, I'm sure." She glanced out the window at the late morning sun, frowning. "Is it Sunday or Monday?"

"It's Tuesday, actually," Natasha explained, and when Loki looked outraged she held up a hand. "You've only been gone a day."

Now Loki looked confused. Natasha explained the vacation to her, and she tapped her lips thoughtfully. Pulling her cell phone from her now-oversized pants pocket, she pulled up her calendar and flipped through it. From where Natasha sat, she could see that the weeks were highlighted in alternating colors, and one week was faintly outlined in red.

"Well, it would make the most sense for us to switch every other day during the trip, but then who should get the week after? Normally, it would make sense for me to go next, but..." she frowned at the week in question, which was the outlined one. "I think I'd rather let Him. I'll end up a week short, but I'm not that greedy. Especially if I can be there for the ceremony. He can have the reception." She nodded, as if that settled everything.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You know, you could always just try that week. It might not be as bad as you imagine."

Loki shuddered. "No, thank you. I intend to have my cake and eat it too, as far as being a human girl goes."

She laughed at that. "Well, you get the rest of today to pack, in return for the time he stole last week."

It was Loki's turn to roll her eyes. "Right. Because packing His clothes is obviously as much fun as-" she stopped, blushing.

Natasha suppressed a smile. "Oh, you know you'll enjoy it. And it would appear that He has perfect confidence in your ability as well."

She sniffed, mock-offended. "Well of course He does."


On Friday afternoon, two limousines pulled into the SHIELD housing complex. Pepper, Darcy and Jane were already in the first, and Thor insisted on stealing Jane for a moment even though they would likely see each other at the airport. As they kissed, Natasha and Loki glanced uncomfortably at each other.

"See you there?" she said awkwardly.

Loki caught sight of several of the other team members watching them, as if waiting to see whether they, too, would make an extravagant public display of affection. He was not inclined to comply until he saw Clint scowl as he got into the second limo. With a smirk, Loki snatched Natasha's hand, bowed over it and kissed it softly. "I shall count the hours," he said jokingly.

She snorted sarcastically, which was precisely the way he had wanted her to react.

He then turned to go, catching Thor's arm and practically dragging him away from Jane as he went. She giggled, and the guys already in the limo cheered.

"I thought we were going to be stuck here all day!" Tony laughed. They settled into their places and Tony signaled the driver to head out.

"Hey, Bruce, how are you holding up?" Steve asked kindly.

Bruce gave him a weak thumbs up. "I took th'stuff about twenny minutes ago, I think it's starting to..." he swallowed thickly, "kick in."

Tony clapped him on the back. "Well sweet dreams, buddy. It's a shame you'll miss the bachelor party, but at least you'll be there for the main event."

Bruce's smile was lopsided, but genuine.

"What is a bachelor party?" Thor asked cheerfully.

"It's kind of a last huzzah before you get married," Clint explained. "Guys do stuff they can't once they won't be able to once they tie the knot."

Steve frowned. "Wait... What kind of things?"

Tony and Clint both laughed. "Well there won't be any strippers, if that's what you're worried about, Mr. 90-year-old-virgin," Steve blushed at that. "That is, unless Miss Jekyll and Mr. Hyde over here decides to cheat at Truth or Dare." He grinned at Loki.

Loki had been pouring himself a drink from Tony's extensive crystal bar. Now he drank from it deeply and muttered "Not bloody likely" under his breath.

Everyone laughed, but Bruce looked confused. "I thought I was Dr. Jekyll?" he murmured.

"Go to sleep, Bruce, you're high," Tony laughed.

"M'ok," Bruce murmured, and then his eyes fluttered closed.

There was a round of quietly suppressed giggles.


"A Toast!" Tony shouted.

There were laughs and Steve rolled his eyes. This must be the twentieth toast and they had only been in the air for two hours.

"What shall we toast to?" Thor asked enthusiastically. He was thoroughly enjoying the bachelor party, not surprising as so far it involved a lot of drinking and an arm wrestling tournament (which he had won).

Tony thought about it, or at least tried to. Of the group, only Steve and Loki remained mostly sober, although not for lack of trying. None of the alcohol was really strong enough to effect Loki much, and for both he and Thor to remain buzzed they would quickly drain the small jet's rather ample supply of liquor. Steve, it seemed, was completely out of luck, so he didn't even try. He was more than happy to share his stash of old-fashioned flavored sodas with Loki.

"I dunno," Tony admitted. "What haven't we toasted yet?"

"To Love!" Thor shouted.

Tony grinned. "Yeah! To Love! May it make idiots of us all!"

Steve laughed. "I'll drink to that!" he lifted his soda bottle and then took a swig.

Loki conspicuously did not drink.

"Aw, come on, man," Tony whined. "Haven't you ever been in love?"

Thor looked as if he would say something, but Loki beat him to it. "Yes." He didn't look very happy about it, but Tony didn't seem to notice.

"Doesn't it feel great?" he grinned.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "What, the part where you feel as though someone has reached into your chest and twisted your insides around? Or the part where you feel so elated you're afraid you might shatter? Or afterward, when you know you'll never feel that way again, no matter how long you live, because you'll never let anyone get that close?" he said venomously.

There was a moment where the only sounds were the whine of the engines and Bruce's snoring. Steve shook his head. "Man, you've had it bad," he agreed.

Loki relaxed, surprised that he of all of them would understand.

Everyone looked to the Captain, waiting for him to say more. He took a drink, thinking, and then sighed. "But there's more to it than that. There's the part where all you want is to be a better man, so you might possibly somehow be worthy of her."

Tony nodded. "Exactly. You just want to... I dunno, protect her."

"Even when she's more than able to do it herself," Clint added, laughing.

Thor smiled softly. "And when you walk into a room, and she's there, it's as if a great lodestone were pulling you toward her. Which can be an awful burden when you're apart." He looked out the window, at the second plane, which was a small glimmer against the arch of the world.

The others followed his gaze. Loki scowled, surprised how much their words resonated with him. He was most definitely not in love with Natasha. But how did one define love, if not by the things they had listed?

"I wonder what Pepper is doing right now?" Tony mused aloud.

Clint laughed. "I wish we could crash their party," he lamented.

Tony grinned. "Yeah, but we can't just walk over there. I mean, I can, normally I could, but after the whole thing where Rhodey and I trashed the house, Pepper made Jarvis promise not to power up the suit when my blood alcohol level was over twice the legal limit. Except in emergencies."


The atmosphere in the other plane was vastly different. Soothing music played, and Pepper was luxuriating under Natasha's skilled fingers.

"I didn't know you were a masseuse," Jane said curiously as she sipped on a smoothie.

Natasha smiled wryly. "I am many things," she said mysteriously.

Darcy popped her gum and wiggled her freshly-painted toes. "That must be what Loki likes about you so much," she teased.

Natasha rolled her eyes, and Pepper laughed. "I agree, it must take something special to inspire the love of a god."

She pursed her lips and went to work on a tough knot. "I'm sure Jane is the expert there, not me."

Jane blushed, but frowned. "You don't think Loki loves you?" she asked sadly.

She sighed and began wiping her hands off on a towel. "I know he doesn't love me. And I don't love him. It's not who we are."

"Wow, that's like, the most depressing thing I've ever heard," Darcy sounded genuinely impressed.

"It's hard to explain," she said as she dropped gracefully into a chair. "It's... complicated."

Pepper laughed as she tied the sash on her terrycloth robe. "When is love simple? I mean when you get down to it, I am basically marrying my billionaire boss because no one else will put up with him for more than 24 hours," she joked.

Darcy nodded enthusiastically. "And Clint—I mean, not that I love Clint, I think it's a little early for that—but, I mean, he's totally not over you, but I get that, it's cool."

"I'm not sure Tony is over you," Pepper lamented. "You seem to have that effect on men."

Natasha smiled, embarrassed. "Except Thor," she pointed out. "I don't think he knows what to make of me."

Jane snorted. "Yeah, well not even he is perfect. Asgard sounds gorgeous, but a little backwards in the women's rights department. Plus, as much as I love him, Thor's not really big on the deep thinking thing."

Darcy chucked a small pillow at her. "You're just saying that because you're a freaking genius. Everyone else seems like an idiot compared to you."

Jane hid behind her fashion magazine. "Not true. Tony and Bruce are intelligent enough to have a decent conversation," she said defensively.

There were groans from all around.

"What we're saying, Tasha," Pepper put a hand on her friend's arm, "Is that you don't have to be perfect to be loved."

"I mean, that's kinda the point, isn't it?" Darcy mused. "If you really love somebody, you love all of them, even their faults."

Natasha frowned. Wasn't that what she liked best about Loki? His flaws? The way he knew perfection was unattainable, and therefore reveled in his own shortcomings?

Jane's voice broke her reverie. "Wow, Darcy, that was almost deep."

"Ugh, gimme back my pillow so I can throw it at you again!" she lunged at Jane.

Before a full-scale pillow fight could erupt, the door to the cockpit opened and Maria Hill stepped through. She had insisted on serving as co-pilot, and now looked a little sheepish.

"What is it?" Pepper asked.

"It's the other plane..." she said hesitantly.

The girls froze, concern written on their faces. "What happened?" Natasha asked seriously.

Maria shook her head, her expression torn between amusement and disapproval. She gestured to the windows on one side of the cabin.

Each of them rushed to a window. The other plane had pulled up close to theirs, and in each of the windows one of the guys held up a sign. Strung together they read "Show us ur boobs!" Steve held the sign which read "Show" and by his light-hearted expression clearly had no idea what the last sign said.

Pepper laughed disbelievingly, and Darcy jumped up. "Got any paper?" she asked.

"Sure," she pulled back a panel to reveal a small business center.

Darcy took the paper, and pulled a sharpie out of her purse. She scribbled "U" on one and "1st" on another, and handed them to Jane and Natasha. Jane blushed and Natasha looked less than thrilled, but they held up the signs anyway, as Darcy made a face against the glass.

Upon seeing their signs, Clint immediately dropped his and, lifting his shirt, pressed his well-muscled chest against the small window. The girls dissolved into fits of giggles, even Natasha was grinning.

"Oh great, now we have to pay up!" Pepper said, wiping her eyes.

But Darcy was already hard at work, and quickly had two more signs ready for her and Pepper to hold: a very crudely drawn pair of breasts and the infamous Trollface.

The range of expressions was even more hilarious this time: Thor and Clint were laughing so hard they were in tears, Loki looked genuinely impressed, and even gave Darcy a thumbs up, and Tony mock-pouted. But the best was Steve, who seemed to have suddenly gained a clearer understanding the exchange, and was bright red.

"Poor guy," Jane said between giggles.

"Yeah, Maria, you got your work cut out for you!" Darcy teased.

Maria, who had been laughing with them, suddenly went scarlet to match her crush, and hastily fled to the cockpit.

This time, even Natasha couldn't help but laugh.


A/N: Once again, I insist that I cannot be serious 100% of the time. Although, there were some important moments in there, I suppose. I had way too much fun writing this chapter, though. ^.^

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, I really appreciate every single one of them!

Tune in on Wednesday for Chapter 45: Welcome Committee!